


Name Calling *Completed*

by The_Sad_Hatter



Series: The Vernichtung Files [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Additional Warnings Apply, Angst, Blood and Gore, Blow Jobs, Bucky Barnes's Metal Arm, But only to Bucky, Cunnilingus, Enemies to Lovers, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fingerfucking, Fluff, He gives as good as he gets, I shouldn't be allowed to tag stuff, Laughter, Like hurt feelings nasty, Loss of Virginity, Making Love, Multi, Multiple Orgasms, Name Calling, Natasha is your partner in crime, New Chapter Daily, Oral Sex, Parent Tony Stark, Pranks, Reader is Kind of a Bitch, Reader is a Sweetheart, Rough Kissing, Rough Sex, Sam Wilson Is a Good Bro, Semi-Public Sex, Serious Injuries, Seriously there's a lot of nastiness in this one, Sexy Times, Slow Burn, Smut, There's a plot, Vaginal Sex, Violence, Violent Sex, honestly just a lot of shennanigans, not kinky nasty, reader is a badass, she makes up for it, steve is a sweetheart, the slowest of slow burns, to everyone but bucky, well actually that as well
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-04
Updated: 2019-04-07
Packaged: 2019-11-09 03:14:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 50
Words: 132,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17993786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Sad_Hatter/pseuds/The_Sad_Hatter
Summary: Vernichtung - Destruction, Annhialation.It was what you were named and what you were supposed to be but the only thing you wanted to destroy was Bucky Barnes.The ongoing and bloody war of words between you and Bucky turns in your favor when a disgruntled one night stand of his lets slip a secret when you run into her in the elevator... Now you have all the ammunition you need to destroy your enemy but you don't plan on killing him quickly. Oh no, Bucky Barnes was going to suffer and you were going to enjoy every second. You just didn't count on enjoying it quite so much.But when your past catches up to you in the form of the mad scientist who made you, Bucky might be one of the only things that can save you from yourself. You can't run from what you are but with his help, you can fight back.





	1. Cereal Killer

**Author's Note:**

> Reader Insert, I've tried to avoid avid descriptions of reader but it is a female reader. Skin tone, ethnicity and physical features have been left out. Readers name is the usual Y/N but I could give her an actual name if you guys think that would be better? I'm open to opinions.
> 
> Ok so couple warnings... 
> 
> There is a lot of name calling, nasty comments, self-esteem issues etc in this fic. There's also a lot of fluff and eventually wounds will be soothed.
> 
> In later chapters there will be very graphic violence and very graphic smut.

James Buchanan Barnes, Sargent Barnes, The Winter Soldier, _Bucky…_ Whatever name he was going by didn’t matter, he was the worst sort of asshole you had ever had the displeasure of meeting in your life. You absolutely despised him. It wasn’t a cute sort of hate, hiding a deep passion or crush. It was pure, searing, unadulterated, vicious loathing. He brought out the absolute worst in you, if you ever became a Super Villain then he would be your origin story.

 

You calmly stirred your coffee with a blank expression hiding the violent thoughts dancing through your mind as the bane of your existence sat across the kitchen counter from you studiously ignoring you as he happily munched away at the last of **your** cereal. Steve sighed heavily from beside him and gave him a pointed look. Bucky rolled his eyes and looked up to meet your gaze.

 

“Sorry Doll, I didn’t realise it was yours.”

 

Without a break in your cool expression you slammed the cereal box down in front of him, your fingers tapping the front where your name was clearly stamped in thick black block letters. He just shrugged, uncaring and made a show of raising the bowl to his mouth and slurping the milk loudly and grossly. You sipped your coffee and hummed thoughtfully, turning to look at Steve.

 

“Start planning his funeral Cap, I’m really gonna kill him this time.”

 

Bucky scoffed and Steve rolled his eyes.

 

“He’s not that bad when he’s not being a punk.” Steve offered

 

“He’s sitting right here you know.” Bucky exclaimed.

 

“And how I wish he wasn’t. You’ve got Sam, why do you still insist on being friends with _that?”_ You gestured to Bucky with your cup.

 

“Did I hear my name?” You heard Sam call in his upbeat tone from the hallway before he stepped through the door.

 

Sam did a quick scan of the room taking in the atmosphere and immediately turning to glare at Bucky.

 

“What did you do now Barnes?” He demanded

 

Bucky damn near squawked in outrage but before he could defend himself you pouted at Sam with sad eyes.

 

“He ate the last of my cereal, the one you brought back for me from that mission in France.”

 

Sams expression was all sympathy as he gathered you up in his arms.

 

“Poor thing, how about I make you waffles to make up for it?” Sam asked you.

 

You and Sam had a weird friendship. The kind where he would watch you easily slaughter a team of Hydra Agents with your bare hands before he swooped in and fussed over you, checking for injuries. God Forbid you got so much as a scratch, he would literally gather you in his arms and fly you the whole 20 feet to the quinjet. And if an enemy ever tried to take a shot at Sam you always took extra care to make sure they died a little slower and more painfully than their comrades. For the first few months most people had assumed you two were sleeping together, until the morning they found you in the kitchen happily making breakfast for one of Sams flings. The only people who truly understood your and Sams friendship were Natasha and Clint. So you happily wrapped your arms around your best friend and pointedly glared at Bucky

 

“You’re a cereal killer!” You hissed at him.

 

Bucky groaned at your pun and Sam ducked his head into your hair to muffle his snort of laughter. Steve’s reaction was the one that caught your attention the most though because Captain America, the nations righteous hero full on giggled. Who knew puns were what tickled the good old Captain. His cheeks burned when he realised what he’d done and Bucky’s wounded look of betrayal did nothing to temper the embarrassment. You grinned happily at Steve like he’d just handed you a puppy and seeing your ecstatic smile chased away the last vestiges of red from his face. Bucky looked between the two of you and scoffed, throwing his spoon into his now empty bowl with a clatter he stormed out of the kitchen muttering about weak willed men being won over by false smiles but you ignored him, turning your happy grin onto Sam you bounced on your heels a little

 

“Waffles now Please?”You asked sweetly.

 

You couldn’t wipe the smile off your face as Sam began pottering around the kitchen making your breakfast. Barnes might have got the cereal but you had undoubtedly won this round.

 

“Oh I better ask Steve what time I should be in the gym” You told Sam, skidding out of the kitchen to chase down the blonde super soldier who was chasing down his surly best friend.

 

You made it halfway up the corridor before your enhanced hearing picked up the sounds of Bucky snapping at Steve and you came to a halt when you registered the words he was spitting out venomously

 

“The way she simpers and smiles at you Steve, it’s disgusting. She’s taking advantage of you, playing up to your big heart and giving you doe eyes so you can’t see her for what she is.”

 

“You need to stop Buck, she’s not what you think she is at all. If you weren’t constantly winding her up maybe you’d see another side of her. Or is your flirting just that rusty pal?”

 

You heard the teasing tone in Steve’s voice but before you had time to question it Bucky was scoffing at him.

 

“My flirting game is fine Stevie, wouldn’t waste it on a Dame like her though. She wouldn’t be worth the 30 seconds it would take to charm her into bed.”

 

“Bucky!” Steve was aghast at his friends words and if you weren’t so furious you’d laugh at the expression you could imagine on his face.

 

“Come on Steve, you can’t really think I’m sweet on her. The gals damaged good with a poisonous personality wrapped in an average looking package. Even I can do better than that.”

 

You’d heard enough. You were too angry to think straight, part of you wanted to rush round the corner and break a few of Bucky’s bones but mostly you were just hurt. His opinion had never meant much to you but the matter of fact way he had summed you up hit more than a few sore spots and you could feel your eyes burning.

 

Silently you turned away and rushed up the opposite corridor, passing the kitchen without a second thought. You needed to be far away from there, you needed to be alone. As the traitorous tears began to spill as you ran away you realised that Bucky had won this round and managed to deal you a crippling blow in the process.


	2. Game Changer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Small hints at readers backstory, waffles and hurt feelings lead to vicious encounters.

Due to… reasons… Tony didn’t want you wandering off the compound without an escort. Seeing as the last thing you wanted right now was company you had ran all the way to the very edge of the grounds and scaled the tallest tree you could, which is why you were now perched on a branch trying futility to stem the flow of tears spilling from your eyes. You didn’t care what Bucky fucking Barnes thought of you, you didn’t! But dammit, he had hit a nerve. 

 

He wasn’t wrong when he called you damaged goods and you hated being reminded of that, being reminded of where you came from, what you were. Like Steve and him your abilities came from experimentation but that was where the similarities ended. You weren’t super nor were you a soldier. You were a beast, a freak, a bloodthirsty monster. Born in captivity and raised in a cage. Like the Winter Soldier. Your head snapped up as the thought crossed your mind. The fucking hypocrite, he was every bit as damaged as you. Your eyes narrowed as you stood and stepped off the branch, plummeting to the ground and landing gracefully on your feet as you stalked back towards the building. Sure you and Bucky were always at each others throats, cussing each other out but nothing this cruel had been uttered between you before. Now you knew that he had been saying the truly horrible things behind your back but you decided to be the bigger person. No you would not say such evil things behind Buckys back. 

 

You were going to say them to his face. 

 

“I don’t know where she is birdbrain I was with Steve, we haven’t seen her!” Bucky protested.

“She wouldn’t just wander off, I’m makin waffles!” Sam was yelling loud enough for you to hear him from halfway across the compound without enhanced hearing. 

“You said she was looking for me? Maybe she went to knock on my door.” Steve was trying to placate Sam and glare at Bucky at the same time as you waltzed into the kitchen.

 

“There you are Stevie, what time do you want to meet in the gym later?” You asked nonchalantly as you breezed past him. 

All three of them frowned at you.

“Uhhh in about an hour I guess?” 

You smiled softly at him and nodded.

“Your waffles are cold now.” Sam pouted. 

“I love cold waffles!” You said enthusiastically as Sam grinned and slid the plate over to you.

“There’s a lot here, I don’t wanna eat to much if I’m going to be sparring later.” You frowned and pulled a plate from the cupboard and started piling waffles onto it. To be fair Sam always made you more food than even Thor could probably handle with ease. 

 

“Do you want some Buck?” You asked sweetly.

Sam and Steve looked flabbergasted at the sudden turn of events while Bucky just glared at you suspiciously. You hummed lowly and opened the fridge, pulling out the bottle of syrup and holding it out to Bucky.

“Here, this is your favourite isn’t it?” 

Bucky looked from you to the syrup for almost a full minute while you patiently held the bottle out to him with a kind smile on your face. Eventually he tentatively reached out and then snatched it from you. He flipped it open and sniffed it.

“What did you do to it?” He demanded.

You sighed softly and took it back from him, drizzling it on your own waffles and taking a generous bite. The action did little to sooth him and his suspicion grew. Sam and Steve had both backed away and were watching the scene with curiosity and trepidation. Bucky pulled the plate you’d set aside for him to himself and emptied half the bottle over his portion of waffles, shooting suspicious little glares at you periodically as he started digging into his second breakfast. You smiled in satisfaction.

“It’s delicious cereal but not super filling ya know? I’ll pick you up a box next time I get some if you like?” You offered.

Bucky paused with his mouth open, fork inches from his mouth. There was no bite to your tone, only friendliness. You had well and truly stumped the former assassin. Sam and Steve exchanged a glance.

“What game are you playing?” Bucky demanded.

 

You sighed heavily and dropped your fork, looking down at your plate with a heavy gaze

“I don’t wanna do this any more, be nasty to you. I’m done with the cruelty, done with torturing you.” You told him.

“That’s great Y/N! Hear that Buck, isn’t that great? I’m proud of you kiddo, being the bigger person here and mending fences!” Steve babbled happily. 

Bucky frowned and seemed at a loss for words. You looked him in the eye and smiled brightly

“If I keep torturing you you’ll probably snap and start murdering people in cold blood again. That is you MO isn’t it?” You delivered the blow with a saccharine sweet smile.

 

There was absolute silence in the room as your words sunk in and you could have heard a pin drop. For a split second your cruel jibe hung in the air and you saw something flash in Bucky’s eyes, something dark and haunted. You almost wished you hadn’t said it but then you remembered the calculated way he had dissected you to Steve in the corridor. The cold and uncaring way he had labelled you. Your vindictive streak flared back up and the moment was Broken. 

 

“Y/N!” Steve snapped your name out, horrified. 

Sam let out a low whistle, he was shocked as well. Sure you and Bucky insulted each other but nobody had heard you say something so utterly cruel before. Anger and disgust filled Bucky’s features as he caught up. The rules had changed in your little hate game and he surged forwards in his eagerness to counter strike. 

“Wow doll, all those years of being whipped like a dog turned you into a bitch huh?” He spat the words out at you 

“BUCKY!” Steve yelped.

Sam huffed loudly and took a step forwards, puffing his chest out ready to defend you until you leaned forwards, getting into Bucky’s personal space. 

“I wasn’t the one who killed on command like a well trained hound, they never broke me they way they did you. I might be a bitch but you’re the only one here with innocent blood on your hands doll.” You mocked. 

 

A loud crack filled the room and you flinched, your eyes going down to the marble counter top where Bucky’s metal hand was gripping tightly, a large crack spidering across the surface. For a moment you faltered, your eyes going wide and for the first time you actually feared Bucky Barnes. Yes you were enhanced but you weren’t immortal and you certainly weren’t made of marble. If you pushed him too hard he could potentially really hurt you. Then his metal appendage slid out of sight and you looked up only to see Bucky’s back as he stormed out of the room. You let out a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding and looked down at your waffles and pushed them away, you appetite diminished. 

 

“Ok what exactly did he do to deserve that?” Sam asked.

Your stomach twisted uncomfortably and you looked up at Sam with guilty eyes but Sam wasn’t looking at you he was looking to where Bucky and presumably Steve had gone. He looked back to meet your gaze and you saw nothing but concern in his eyes. Warmth bloomed through you and your heart swelled. Sam knew you well enough to know you had been provoked. Maybe you had taken it too far, maybe Bucky didn’t quite deserve that kind of retribution and you knew Sam would call you out on that later but his immediate concern was finding out what had made you snap. Silently you sent out a thanks to whatever force ruled the universe for giving the world a soul like Sam Wilson. For the second time that day you found yourself blinking back tears as you told Sam what you had overheard. 

Sam pinched the bridge of his nose as he listened to you. When you finished he sighed and wrapped his arms round you in a soothing hug. 

 

“Listen, Barnes? He’s an asshole, through and through. His words don’t mean a damn thing sweetheart. You’re not damaged. World weary, hurt, scarred and stronger for it.”

“I know.” you mumbled into his shoulder. 

Sam pulled back and put his hands on your shoulders. 

“But pointing out someone else’s demons isn’t going to help you fight your own. Was Barnes out of line for what he said? Yes. But so were you. Doesn’t matter who started it Y/N, you don’t get to pick the scabs of off somebody else’s wounds just because you’re hurting. Even if they’re the ones who hurt you.” Sam admonished you firmly but not unkindly. 

You knew he was right but you couldn’t find it in you to care. Were you being petty? Yes. Were you being childish? Also yes. Did you have any intention of rectifying it? Did you hell. Bucky dug his grave, you were going to bury him in it.  
“Y/N.” Sam said sternly, pulling you out of your thoughts. 

“I was wrong, I do know that Sammy. I do.” You assured him. 

He nodded sagely.

“So you’re gonna apologise.” It came out as more of a statement that a question. 

“Nope.” 

“Y/N, you just said you knew you were wrong.”

“And yet there’s not a single part of me that actually feels guilty.” 

Ok so that last part was a lie. You ignored Sams pleading look and padded out of the kitchen. 

“If you don’t stop this here and now it’s only going to escalate” He warned you. 

You didn’t bother looking back or responding. You knew you were playing with fire but the thing was, you didn’t care if you got burned. So long as you Bucky burned right alongside you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How are the chapter lengths? I'm thinking of posting longer chapters but don't want to bore people. Also, next chapter will give some insight into Bucky's POV.... 
> 
> Comments and feedback/opinions are welcomed but honestly just the fact you have read is great, thank you for that! x


	3. Vernichtung

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vernichtung - German for destruction, annihilation.

Bucky stormed away from the kitchen and from you as fast as his feet could carry him. His chest was heaving and his shoulders were shaking as he tried to contain the rage coursing through him. As soon as you had viciously cut him with your words he had almost lost control for a split second and had slammed his metal fist onto the counter before he could…

“Bucky.” Steve’s voice cut into his anger clouded mind before he could finish the thought. 

Bucky paused but didn’t turn around, ragged breaths tearing themselves from his throat as he tried to calm down. 

“What was that?” Steve’s voice was low and even and when Bucky ignored him he continued. 

“I have never seen her act like that, I’ve never seen heard you say such cruel things either. What the hell happened between you two to cause that?”

Bucky pushed his hair out of his eyes and shrugged half heartedly

“I guess being called damaged goods pushed her buttons and she snapped. And people call me unstable.” Bucky snarked. 

Steve glared at him and opened his mouth, probably to give a Captain America patented lecture before realization flickered across his face and he frowned. 

“That’s not it Buck, I wouldn’t tell her you said that and besides we were together the whole time. She couldn’t have known what you said about her.” Steve’s tone made it clear he was still annoyed about what exactly Buck had said.

Bucky’s eyes narrowed and he half smirked 

“Maybe little miss perfect needs to remember she’s not the only one with enhanced hearing.” 

Steve’s mouth opened and closed several times before he clenched his jaw, the ramifications of what Bucky was saying sinking in.

“You heard her coming and knew she could hear you. That’s why you said those things. You wanted her to hear them.”

“She needed to hear it Steve, she prances about this place having everybody fawn over her. She’s nothing special, she’s just a failed experiment. She doesn’t deserve special treatment.” Bucky snarled. 

“Are you jealous of her? Buck you have me, you have memories of a life before all that. She had nothing. She was born and raised in that damn facility. People fawn over her because its the first and only kindness she’s ever been shown!” Steve’s volume rose as he spoke

“Get your head together and stop treating her so awful. She deserves better, she’s a good person!” Steve pleaded with his oldest friend. 

Bucky scoffed in response and walked away

“She’s not a person at all Steve.”

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

Sam raised his fist and knocked on the door as he mulled over the situation with Y/N and Barnes. A couple of seconds passed before the door swung open and he pushed the issues aside for a brief moment so he could spare a heartfelt smile for the red haired spy he had sought out. She responded with a smirk of her own and a raised brow.

“What can I do for you Wilson?” Natasha enquired curiously.

“Need you to help me diffuse a rapidly escalating situation.” 

She swung the door open and invited him in with a tilt of her head. Sam made a beeline for the kitchenette and immediately busied himself making coffee. He glanced over to the couch where Natasha was subtly piling up paperwork and files. Noticing him watching she slipped them out of sight.

“Little side project I’m doing for Stark.” She said by way of explanation. 

Sam knew that was all the explanation he was going to get. 

“So I take it this is about Barnes and Y/N?” She asked

“Man I’m not even gonna ask how you know.”

“Not much outside of a mission could have you this wound up and the tension between them has been growing steadily. It was only a matter of time before it escalated.” She told him. 

“Well she overheard him basically calling her unlovable and broken and she responded by reminding him he was a murderer and she… was not. Then Robocop broke the kitchen. You know Steve and I actually thought those two were going to be good for each other once upon a time. Similar backstory and all that.” Sam handed over her coffee as he sighed wistfully.

“There are elements of similarity there but a lot of differences as well. They were never going to get along because they each have the one thing the other wants more than anything.” Natasha told him. 

“He has a normal human past and she has a clean rap sheet. It’s like somehow a genie mixed up their wishes.” Sam mused.

Natasha hummed in agreement as she sipped the latte contentedly. Nobody made coffee like Sam Wilson. 

“So how do we stop this before somebody gets hurt?” Sam asked her.

Natasha smiled her super spy ‘I know something you don’t know’ smile

“Sometimes Wilson, the only way out is through”

“You’re not honestly suggesting we do nothing? They’ll kill each other.”

“There’s nothing we can do. We can’t make them like each other and any attempts to sway them will be seen as hostile. We just have to pick up the pieces and let them work it out of their systems.” She advised.

“Fine, but when they start Civil War 2 Caps gonna be pissed I’m not on his side. Barnes took my steering wheel, he’s not taking my Y/N.”

“Did you just compare Y/N to a steering wheel?”

“That came out wrong.”

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

You curled your body into the smallest ball you could as you soaked up the sense of warmth and safety your current location gave you. Someone’s legs passed your line of vision but you didn’t flinch, you knew who it was. You considered calling out to let him know you were there but decided against it. You were perfectly content where you were and knowing he was close by was enough. The decision was for nought as you yawned softly as the legs passed you by again, the end of your yawn tapering off into a squeak as you stretched. The legs paused in front of you and suddenly you were staring at the upside down amused face of Tony Stark. 

“You napping under my desk again Kit Kat?”

“No.” 

He raised his eyebrows at you, which from your current position looked comical. 

“I’m relaxing, not napping.” You protested as you crawled out from under the desk. 

When you had first been brought out of the facility where you were made the only person you felt safe around was Tony. Since Tony spent most of his time in the lab you’d been made to feel at home in the space. In the beginning open spaces still made you uneasy and you’d spent most of your time curled up under his desk. Tony never questioned your behaviour or made you feel weird about it, instead he just took to fondly calling you an abundance of cat related nicknames and made sure there were always blankets and pillows in your little safe space. 

Tony tossed a screwdriver in your general direction and pointed you towards… well you weren’t sure what it was. A sci-fi looking contraption. 

“Unscrew all the metal plates from the sides.” He instructed you.

“Am I average looking?” You asked him. 

He paused from whatever he was doing on the other side of the lab and puzzled over your strange question. Or rather you assumed that was what he was doing. It had been part of Bucky’s original assessment to Steve of you and the only part of his insult you weren’t insulted by. More curious as to whether it was accurate. 

“No. You’re beautiful.” Tony said matter of factly and went back to whatever he was doing. 

Despite what other thought of him or how he acted with others Tony was actually incredibly patient with you. He never belittled or mocked you. He teased you relentlessly but had never come close to hurting your feelings with it. Whenever you didn’t understand something he just explained it. You had come out of the facility with very little knowledge of the world and the way it worked. Thanks to Tony you were a (mostly) fully functioning adult who could make pop culture references. Whenever you didn’t understand something, which happened less and less you had a system. If it involved science, technology or media you asked Tony. If it involved feelings, social interactions or societal regulations you asked Pepper. It was a good system and it served you well. 

“This is the wrong screwdriver” You muttered

You grinned happily at the familiar whizzing sound as Dum-E came over to you excitedly waving the correct screwdriver. You crouched down to him and took it, patting him on the head affectionately. You didn’t see Tony watching you fondly but Natasha watching through the glass door caught it. With a smirk she entered the lab and tossed an envelope onto the desk next to Tony. 

“As requested. And before you try and thank me, I was happy to do this one. It was my pleasure.” She quipped, throwing a glance back at you over her shoulder. 

Tony looked somewhere between giddy and nervous as he looked down at the envelope. You were too busy babbling away to Dum-E as he tried to assist you with Tony’s contraption to pay attention to what was going on. You had heard Natasha come in but figured she’d come and see you after she spoke to Tony. You didn’t think whatever they were discussing was any of your business. You were wrong. The familiar sound of high heels clipping along the corridor reached your eyes and you stood up excitedly. 

“Pepper!” You yelled excitedly

“Um… where?” Tony asked, looking around in confusion. 

“That’s my cue to leave.” Natasha informed him and started to slip out of the lab.

She threw you a wink as you frowned at her, wordlessly letting you know she wasn’t ignoring you and everything was alright. She and Pepper passed each other in the doorway as Pepper rushed in. 

“Did I miss it? Do you have them?” Pepper demanded of Tony, forgoing all hello’s. 

Tony’s eyes barely hit the envelope before Pepper snatched it up and started methodically checking the contents. You and Dum-E shared a look of confusion before Pepper let out a loud exhale and nodded to Tony. 

“Alright whiskers, we need to have a talk.” Tony informed you. 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

An hour later you were walking around the grounds in a daze. You wandered around aimlessly, your mind going a thousand miles a minute and your stomach churning. Anyone you came across ducked their head and gave you a wide berth, the dark emotions almost visibly rolling off you keeping them away. Until now. You hadn’t really registered the pounding sound of boots hitting the ground as someone jogged around the building. It was only when your blank stare into the void had lined up with the jogger that you crashed back into your own mind and you scowled. Around the same time Bucky slowed his jog down as he noticed you, his expression contorting to a scowl as well. 

You almost swerved off the path to go walk across the grass and away from him but you refused to give him the satisfaction and instead jutted your chin up and glared at him.

“Soldat.” You hissed at him scathingly.

He nodded cooly at you as he casually jogged passed

“Vernichtung.” He tossed the greeting back at you with a smirk. 

Your insides twisted painfully and bile rose up in the back of your throat when you heard the word. You screeched to a halt with a gasp as you tried to suck in enough oxygen. Bucky noted your reaction with a victorious grin. 

“Don’t. Don’t call me that. Ever.” You growled out.

Bucky ceased jogging and turned back round to look at you and saw your wide eyed panicked expression. Your shoulders were raised and your hands clenched into fists as you hyperventilated. Bucky frowned, the beginnings of guilt stirring in him. You looked terrified, he could practically smell the fear on you. Yet… you had called him soldat first. A few hours ago you had called him a killer. In fact this was probably another act you were putting on, like your little performance with the waffles. His eyes narrowed at you. 

“Why? That is your name isn’t it? That’s what they called you before Stark picked you up and gave you a new name. Like re homing a pet from the pound.” 

Your eyes snapped up to his, fury beginning to push out the fear in your system. 

“That’s all you are you know. An abused stray The Avengers picked up.”

The more he spoke the clearer your mind got. He thought he was getting to you but his words were having to opposite effect to what he intended. He was only reminding you what you weren’t. 

“You’re not a teammate, or a friend to anyone here. You’re a pity project. Stop fooling yourself into thinking that you’re actually a real person. You’re nobody.”

His words made something inside of you click and you smiled softly to yourself as you reached into your pocket and pulled out the gift Tony had given you. Flipping it open you held it up for him to see. 

“Actually Bucky, I’m a Stark.”

You turned on your heel and walked away from him, not caring how he reacted. You looked down at the passport in your hands with warmth blooming in your heart as you read your name. You were a Stark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure if I love this chapter or hate it honestly. I was aiming for angst but as I was writing it I realized it was more fluff. Coming up next chapter.... Party Time and Elevator shenanigans! 
> 
> As always, thank you for reading. It means the world. Comments and Kudos are welcomed but not required. Don't feel bad if you just wanna chill and read a fic without interacting.


	4. Murder On The Dance Floor

5 MONTHS AGO

 

Sam and Steve entered the meeting room, greeting Clint and Natasha who were already there. 

“Hey Cap, any idea what’s going on?” Clint asked. 

“Tony called the meeting, not me.” Steve told him, his own curiosity burning. 

Tony chose that moment to dramatically sweep into the room. 

“Alright kids, I come bearing gifts. Well a gift. And you can’t ask where I got it.” 

“Tony.” Steve warned lowly. 

Tony grumbled to himself under his breath and pulled his sunglasses of and pinched the bridge of his nose before he sighed and straightened up with a clap of his hands.

“Alright, here’s what I can tell you. Friday, bring up the redacted file.”

“You got it Boss.”

A mans face appeared on the screen. 

“This is Doctor Jack Docherty, former HYDRA scientist. Thirty five years ago he was one of their top scientists, until the Nazi bastards decided that this guys views were too sadistic for them.” Tony declared.

There was silence around the room as everyone looked at Tony in disbelief. 

“Yeah you heard me right. Hydra want to rule the world but as the saying goes, some men just wanna watch the world burn. This here was one of those men. When Hydra decided he was a loose cannon they tried to make him disappear but he had already caught the attention of powerful like minded people and they spirited him away. With their funding and support he established Project Vernichtung.” Tony glanced around, noticing he had everybody's attention. 

“Project Vernichtung was created with one purpose in mind, to bring about chaos and destruction. Led by one insane man with a vision. He recruited all the mad scientists from other evil organizations, soldiers with vendettas. They were hell-bent on bringing the earth to it’s knees, by any means necessary.”

“So why have we never heard of them before?” Steve asked

“I have.” Natasha stated calmly. “Vernichtung took recruits from the Red Room.” 

“Most of the intelligence community didn’t take them seriously, I’m guessing HYDRA didn’t either.” Clint added. 

“Vernichtung flew under the radar for a long time because people either believed they didn’t exist, thinking they were just a made up villain to take the blame or because those who knew they were real didn’t see them as much of a threat.” Natasha leaned back in her chair casually.

“When in actual fact Docherty was just a very patient man. Masterminding the end of the world takes time. For the past 35 years he has been trying to perfect his weapon.” Tony told the team. 

“What was the weapon?” Sam enquired

“Not a what, a who. His speciality is human experimentation. Mutants, Inhuman, Super Soldier serums, Gamma Radiation you name it. He spent years playing around with it all, killed hundreds before he got all the ingredients right.” Tony looked deeply uncomfortable at this point.

The screen changed and they were looking at a girl now. 

“Meet our newest recruit. Grown in a Docherty’s lab, spliced from all the best parts of various DNA’s he had collected, infused with super soldier serum and cooked with Gamma radiation. She was raised from birth by Docherty, trained to be his world ender. She IS Vernichtung.”

“Is it safe to bring her here, you really think she would be a good addition to the team?” Steve asked.

“So she’s some kind of super hulk?” Clint enquired.

“Please tell me she’s not a Super Hulk.” Sam stammered.

“The facility she was in was operating with stolen Stark tech, when the X-Men located the place they reached out, needed my help getting in. I found her in a cell and carried her out of that god forsaken place. She’s been living in the tower ever since. I personally vouch for her.” Tony’s voice made it clear he was absolute in his decision. 

The team exchanged nervous glances.

“It’s not that we don’t trust your opinion Tony...” Steve began 

“But I don’t have the best track record, yeah yeah. Alright Spangles, Bruce agrees with me. Pepper adores her and Fury has been begging to recruit her.” Tony rattled off, a victorious smirk overtaking his face. 

“And no, she’s not a super hulk.” He added as an afterthought as Sam sighed in relief. 

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

 

Bucky absent-mindedly poked at his oatmeal with a spoon while he pursued the newspaper. People read everything online these days but he preferred to read it the old fashioned way with his breakfast. He grunted out a good morning at Steve and Sam as they slid into the seats on either side of him.

“Hey Buck.”

“Sup?”

Bucky sighed and folded the newspaper up, setting it down on the table and looking between Sam and Steve with exasperation. 

“Alright what’s going on?”

“Nothing bad man, actually kinda something good potentially.” Sam told him with a reassuring smile. 

“We just spoke to Tony. He’s bringing in a new recruit, someone he’s had in the tower for a while now and he thinks she’s ready to move to the compound.”

“Great, and we’re excited about a newbie because?” Bucky enquired

Steve looked to Sam who took the lead

“We, Steve and I were hoping you’d be able to help the new girl settle in.” 

Bucky was confused but mostly though he was apprehensive.

“Not sure I’m the best choice for that.” He told them.

The two men on either side of him sighed in unison and Bucky knew they’d heard what he wasn’t saying out loud. He was the worst choice to help someone feel settled, he’d probably only terrify the poor woman. The Winter Soldier just wasn’t a good candidate for the buddy system. 

“Actually from what we know, you’re the best choice Barnes.” Sam told him. 

“You have similar backgrounds. If anyone can help her it’ll be you and maybe Nat.” Steve agreed.

Bucky listened as they filled him in on what Tony had told them at the meeting. He went through a broad range of emotions as they explained, sympathy, anger, disgust. Eventually he stopped them. 

“Just give me the file, I’ll read it my damn self.” He growled as he stormed away. 

He knew they thought he was annoyed at the prospect of babysitting but the truth was he couldn’t contain his anger and needed to be alone. What had been done to you, it was inhumane. He remembered what had been done to him when he was The Winter Soldier and when he thought of someone else going through it, a child no less… He needed to be alone when he read your file. Well the redacted one anyway, Stark was keeping most of the gorier details out of the Teams reach. 

Over the next few days while the Avengers waited for your arrival Bucky kept to himself, assuring Steve he was fine and promising Sam he’s make you feel welcome. In his mind Bucky had already decided he was going to do whatever he could to help you. 

You’d feel nervous, out of place and he would have to be careful to make sure to include you without overwhelming you. 

You would need to feel safe so he would show you where all his hidden weapons were around the compound, show you the easiest defendable places.

He had snuck into the room Tony had designated you and rearranged it, moving the bed and sofa so you could see all the exits from them, he personally fitted deadbolts to the doors so you had locks that couldn’t be controlled by a computer. Tony had walked in at one point but said nothing. 

In the days leading to your arrival Bucky did everything he could think of to prepare and as he did he found himself getting excited. It had been seventy years since he had felt this protective instinct so strongly. You would need him in a way Steve didn’t any more, more than that you would understand him in a way nobody else could. He thought that you could help each other navigate yourselves to a semblance of normality. You weren’t even here yet but Bucky already considered you a friend. 

Then finally, after all his fussing you were here. You entered to common living room behind Tony and Bucky’s breath caught in his chest. You were nothing like he’d pictured yet everything he had imagined at the same time. He had expected you to hide behind Tony but blinked in surprise as you instead put yourself in front of the Iron Man, your eyes flitting across the room to take in all potential threats and escape routes. You were protecting Tony. That should have been expected he thought, you didn’t know any of these people but you knew Tony. His safety would be your priority. Bucky felt a surge of respect, you were pushing your own fear aside and prioritising your friend above yourself. 

Yes, you and he were definitely going to be friends. He was sure of it. 

 

PRESENT DAY

Bucky stood in the corner of the room glowering, his hand curled round an empty whisky glass as he internally bemoaned his inability to get drunk. To absolutely nobody’s surprise Tony had decided to throw a party, celebrating your new name. To Bucky’s annoyance nobody seemed to think this party was a waste of time, The Avengers had all agreed a party was in order. So unwillingly he’d been shipped out of the compound with the rest of them to Stark Tower where Tony Stark had invited half the population of New York to celebrate his “daughter”. 

Only a select few knew the truth, that you didn’t have a biological connection to Tony at all. Thanks to Pepper and Natasha’s hard work there was a very different, believable story being fed to the rest of the world. You were Y/N Stark, Tony’s long lost daughter who had only discovered the truth of her parentage a year ago. You had come to New York to track Tony down and once he ran a paternity test he had welcomed you with open arms, encouraging you to take the Stark name. People were eating the story up and Bucky didn’t understand why he’d been dragged here to this celebration to watch even more people fawn over you. The guests were lining up to meet you and you were taking it all far too seriously. He watched as you smiled charmingly at yet another politician, laughing at his jokes and batting your eyelashes. Bucky snorted in disgust and turned away refusing to watch any more. 

How nobody could see through your false smiles was beyond you, your skin was practically vibrating with nerves, your eyes constantly seeking out your teammates. You hated every second of this but nobody could see it because you had them all fooled. You laughed at yet another joke you didn’t find funny as you tried to think of a way to disengage from the old man who was standing far too close to you. 

“Y/N!” A loud excited voice shrieked.

You turned around and your first genuine smile of the evening broke across your face as you saw who the voice belonged to, barely managing to get your champagne glass out of the way as the newcomer barrelled into you. 

“Darcy!” You squealed back just as excitedly. 

Darcy put her arms on your shoulders and gave you a once over with mock seriousness. 

“I don’t know why I never figured it out, it’s so obvious. Definitely a Stark.” She said with a grin. 

You laughed as she pulled you away from your previous talking partner without a word, dragging to towards the open bar. Of all the people you’d met, Darcy was one of your favourites. Purely based on her reaction to what you were. Most people reacted with fear or pity, accepting you as Tony had done or despising you as Bucky had. Darcy had thought you were cool and had asked about 20 million questions the first time you met her. She obviously didn’t think how you had come to be what you were was cool but there was no pity, just righteous anger as you talked her out of hunting them down and tazing them. 

“I’ll have an orgasm, do you want a blow job?” She asked you when the bartender asked for her drink order. 

You snorted loudly, thankful you knew about sexual themed cocktails and weren’t about to make a fool of yourself. 

“You know, I feel like sex on the beach. Enjoy your orgasm though, maybe I’ll have one later.” You told her as the two of you giggled at the bartender trying to restrain his eye roll.

“I can’t believe Tony adopted you, think he’ll adopt me as well?” She said discreetly, tucking herself into your side to make sure nobody would overhear her. 

“Tell you what, I’ll put it at the top of my Christmas list.” You told her, picking your drink off the bar with a nod of thanks. 

“A Billionaire Superhero Sugar Daddy.” She sighed wistfully, her eyes glazed over. 

You choked on your drink and she looked disappointed. 

“I was hoping you didn’t know what a Sugar Daddy was.” She pouted. 

“Clint was in on this wasn’t he?” You asked her. 

She grinned widely and that was all the answer you needed. You chuckled and slung your arm over her shoulder to keep her close by your side and protect you from the party-goers trying to make a good impression on you in an attempt to get closer to Tony. Your eyes automatically sought out all your of your teammates and noted their positions, noting some of them were making their way towards you. Taking an extra moment you assessed Pepper and Happy’s locations and who they were standing near. In the event of an attack you decided Happy and Darcy would be your priority as you reasoned that Tony’s automatic instinct would be to protect Pepper. Once the non combatants were secured you would find the Captain and await further instruction. Satisfied with your battle plan you shook off your trained instincts and turned back to Darcy. 

“I’ve never danced at a party you know.” You told her with a grin. 

“Oh My God, I’m failing in my best friend duties!” She replied, horrified. 

“Best friend duties? I’m the best friend.” Sams outraged voice protested behind you.

You turned to see Sam approaching with Clint and Natasha as Sam and Darcy immediately launched into an argument about who was your best friend and who got the first dance. 

“Sorry folks, my kid. First dance is mine.” Tony declared as he strode over to you and extended his hand. 

Sam and Darcy grumbled a bit but couldn’t argue with that, instead both crossing their arms and leaning against the bar. You took Tony’s hand and let him pull you onto the dance floor as the music changed into something slow and sweet. Tony led you across the dance floor with confident grace as he smiled down at you. You let yourself relax, finally. 

“Thank you.” You told him earnestly.

“It’s just a dance.” He said with a twinkle in his eye. 

You snorted. He knew you weren’t thanking him for the dance and his grip on you tightened a little as he spun you around, ignoring the awing from the crowd you were gathering. You leaned your head on his shoulder and closed your eyes, just relishing in the moment as he held you close and led you where you needed to go. Just like he had been doing since he rescued you. 

As the evening progressed your friends had apparently decided you’d pandered to the public enough and kept you busy and away from any more strangers.

Sam and Darcy took turn embarrassing you on the dance floor and you suspected they had a competition to see who could make you blush the most. 

Clint had made you kick your heels off so he could lead you in an elaborate old fashioned waltz to a bubbly pop song that did not fit the dance at all. He maintained a stoic and pompous facade all through it, even bowing deeply when you finished and you were laughing so hard when you sunk into a curtsy he had to help you stand up, his own laughter mingling with yours as you stumbled back to the others. 

Vision had politely asked you whether you would like to dance with him and levitated the two of you a few centimetres off of the floor, enough that you could glide around the floor without moving a muscle. That had confused more than a few onlookers much to your amusement.

When you needed a break from the dancing Wanda had enticed you to the bar where she slipped behind it and entertained you by using her powers to make a round of drinks. Which had happened to be delicious, even if the alcohol had no effect on you. She had smiled happily when you told her how delicious the drinks were.

Natasha kept grabbing your attention and pointing out men and women in the crowd with a tilt of her head and whispering ridiculous made up observations about them. Every so often she would nudge you and point out someone attractive, noting your reactions and huffing when you didn’t show any signs of attraction to them.

Thor dragged you to the buffet table and wouldn’t let you leave until the two of you had sampled everything. When the two of you had sampled from a tray of small cakes your eyes had lit up and you picked up the tray, Thor picked up you and the both of you had hid yourself in a corner until the plate had been cleaned of every delicious crumb. You had wisely declined his offer of Asgardian mead to wash it down, telling him you wanted to remember every moment of this night. 

Steve even asked you to dance but admitting he didn’t have much experience. So far you had only danced with someone who knew how to lead and the two of you were equally perplexed as to what to do. Approaching the situation with all the seriousness of a military operation the two of you finally figured out how to do it and honestly, it wasn’t terrible. As you both moved with only a little difficulty Steve told you about Peggy and the dance they never had. Your eyes had started to water up as he spoke and your heart ached for him. Knowing no words would offer any comfort you had stretched up and thrown your arms around his neck, pouring as much love and affection into the embrace as you could. He appreciated that, even if you weren’t sure of it. 

Throughout it all Bucky made sure he was on the opposite side of the room from you, doing his best to ignore you. He couldn’t quite manage it, his eyes just kept finding you and the happier you grew the more the dark anger and hatred in him grew. No matter what he did, who he spoke to he couldn’t stop himself looking at you with a scowl. By the end of the night he was a mess, leaning on the bar over a glass of Asgardian liquor Thor had slipped him with a wink. He threw his head back and drained the glass with a murmur of appreciation as it burned down his throat. He closed his eyes and grimaced as a familiar laugh sounded from not far behind him and he turned around to watch you slide up to the bar and lean into it as Natasha slipped under the bar and started preparing drinks. The bartender ignored her, used to The Avengers slipping behind the bar by now. 

“Hey Buck.” Steve clapped him on the shoulder as the rest of the team converged on them. 

Bucky tried to slip away and let them have the bar since apparently wherever Y/N went, they followed but Steve Rogers being the little shit that he was stopped him with the worst question he could have asked. 

“Have you danced with Y/N yet? I think everyone else has.” Steve said with a shit eating grin. 

Your head snapped up and you glared coldly at Steve and everyone collectively drew in an apprehensive breath. 

Everyone except Tony and Pepper who spent little time in the compound and must not know how bad his and Y/N’s hatred of each other had gotten. Which was probably a good thing Bucky realized. Tony and Bucky had a strained relationship as was and Tony had made his fondness for Y/N very very clear by sharing his name with her. So Bucky grit his teeth and held his hand out to you. 

“Dance with me?” He growled out. 

There, he had offered. He couldn’t be blamed for anything because he had been nice. This would be on you when you refused and insulted him. Except you didn’t do that. Bucky’s eyes grew comically wide when instead you placed your hand in his. 

“Thought you’d never ask, Sarge.” You said with a smirk. 

Bucky turned to the dance floor and tightened his hand around yours almost painfully as he dragged you to it. He spun you out and stood in front of you menacingly as the opening notes of La Cumparsita began and out of the corner of his eye he saw a sniggering Sam and Darcy scurry away from the DJ.

“What the fuck are you doing? You don’t want to dance with me.” He stated

“Nope, but you want to dance with me even less.” You pointed out. 

Bucky snarled, his chest vibrating with the angry sound as he put his metal hand on your hip and squeezed it, yanking you forwards so you were pressed to his chest. That quickly wiped the victorious smirk off your face and you yelped in pain. To anyone watching it would look like you were just surprised. 

“Ease up soldier, this is a dance not an assassination.” You hissed.

Bucky’s answering smirk was a mirror of your earlier one but he did ease up his grip as he began to walk you backwards, well actually he strode forward and it forced you to match him as he pushed on your hip, pushing you away from him as he used his grip on your other hand to spin you, bringing your back to his chest. 

“No, If I were assassinating you I’d actually be enjoying myself right now.” He quipped as he looked down at your startled face. 

You had no idea how to dance, let alone dance to this. You had no choice but to follow his lead and Bucky relished in that as he spun you again, this time dipping you at the end of the twirl. You looked absolutely furious as you realized what he was doing. With you pressed tightly against him he led you in that angriest dance he had ever participated in and because you were concentrating so hard on not falling over you could do little about it but glare at him, so angry he thought you were going to hiss at him at one point. 

The smugness in his expression was making your blood boil and you cursed yourself for accepting the dance. This was supposed to be making him mad, not you! In your defence how were you supposed to know he was such a good dancer? You realized belatedly that you were in his territory now, he was comfortable here and you’d given him the upper hand. 

You gasped loudly in outrage as his metal hand slid down the back of your thigh and hitched your leg up around his to keep you stable as he dipped you so low you were practically touching the floor. He quirked an eyebrow at your response and you realized your gasp could have been misconstrued as something other than anger. You ground your teeth together so hard he must have heard it because he chuckled in amusement. It only dawned on you then that you weren’t moving, he was holding you still in that ridiculous dip as the music faded out. 

You breathed a sigh of relief that it were done and took a deep breath to lay into him when he straightened up and released your leg with his metal hand, using his flesh one to bring your hand to his lips he kept his gaze on you as he brushed a kiss across the back of your knuckles. 

“Thanks for the dance doll.” 

And then he released you and strode away, leaving you stood in the middle of the dance floor seething in anger, so blind with rage you didn’t register the lack of other dancers on the floor or the thunderous applause as you turned on your heel and stalked in the opposite direction to him. You didn’t see the expressions on your friends faces ranging from shock, concern and smugness as you fled the party and locked herself in the nearest bathroom.  
You gripped the edge of the sink and let out a string of curses as you tried to calm down, splashing cool water onto the back of your neck. You breathed deeply, in through your nose and out through your mouth, jumping slightly as somebody knocked on the bathroom door. You’d been so caught up in trying to calm down you hadn’t heard them approach and you silently reprimanded yourself as you unlocked the door and let Pepper in. 

“I’m fine.” You told her before she could ask. 

“You don’t look it.” She told you as she reached out to smooth your hair back off your face. 

“I just needed a minute. Not used to all the crowds.”

She didn’t buy your lie but went along with it anyway as you linked your arm with hers and headed back to the party. You wouldn’t let Bucky ruin this night for you, there was still fun to be had and you intended to have it. 

For a while, you did. You danced some more with everyone, drank enough to have a normal person blind drunk and stuffed yourself full of buffet food. Throughout it all you didn’t pay any attention to Bucky, not when he laughed loudly with Steve, not when he clinked glasses with Thor, not when he and Sam sassed each other. Definitely not when a gorgeous petite brunette magically appeared under his arm when you weren't looking. You put extra effort into ignoring him after that and threw yourself into the revelry. You breathed a sigh of relief when out of the corner of your eye you saw him leave the party with the mystery brunette. Yup, it was definitely relief. And if you didn’t feel like partying any more it was only because you were tired, it had been a long night. 

With assurances you were fine and many hugs goodnight you excused yourself you had to promise so many people that you were capable of making it up an elevator on your own and you didn’t need to be escorted. Finally you managed to disentangle yourself from Darcy’s drunken embrace and made it to the empty elevator. You kicked your heels off and picked them up as Friday automatically took you to the floor where you all had rooms. 

The doors opened and you went to step out and nearly walked into the small brunette Bucky had left with. She squeaked out a small apology and stepped around you into the elevator, wrapping her arms around herself. You frowned and before you could question what you were doing your hand shot out and stopped the elevator doors from closing. 

“Are you alright?” You asked her softly.

She looked up at you and you quickly and silently assessed her, she looked uncomfortable but not afraid. If you had to guess you would say embarrassed. She raised her chin and looked at you, seeing only concern in your expression she smiled softly. 

“I’m ok. Really.” She assured you. 

You frowned, there was still something off. You didn’t think much in her taste of men but other than that she was innocent. If there was something wrong, you couldn’t not try to offer help. 

“Look I’m not ashamed to participate in the odd one night stand alright? Meaningless sex is fun sometimes, nothing wrong with that.” She told you. 

“No, there’s not.” You agreed, your head tilted to the side in confusion as to where this was leading.

“But I do have some self esteem. I’m not going to get with a guy who calls me by someone else’s name. I’m not looking for much, just some company for the night. I don’t expect roses and poetry you know? I do expect him to not be thinking about someone else when I’m unzipping his pants.” She explained. 

Understanding what she was saying now, a giddy amusement shot through you. Bucky had called her by the wrong name and she had walked out on him. Good for her. 

“Fair play to you.” You grinned at her. 

“You know, I’m not his biggest fan. I promise I’ll torture him so badly over this he will never make that mistake again.” You promised her and released the elevator doors, satisfied she was alright.

She chuckled and nodded her head.

“I appreciate that. Goodnight.” 

At the last second your hand shot out again and grabbed the doors.

“What was the name he said?” You enquired with a wicked grin. 

She shook her head with a self deprecating laugh. 

“Y/N, he called me Y/N.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooooooh boy. There's a lot to unpack in this chapter! Um, thoughts?


	5. The Dating Game

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is nothing but disgusting, cheesy fluff. I hate myself. I am so sorry.

You paced as you tried to process this new information. Bucky hated you, you were absolutely sure of that. He’d hadn’t shown any signs of being attracted to you before yet he had said your name in the throes of passion. That had to mean something. After hours of pacing you came to the conclusion that while Bucky hated you there must be an underlying attraction he was keeping hidden, probably even from himself. In fact if you knew Bucky he was probably as shocked by what had happened as you were and he would be seriously regretting it. You felt a grim satisfaction at the idea of the mental reprimanding he was probably giving himself right now. 

The question was, what did you do with this information? Oh you were going to use it against him, that was for certain. But how? If you told him you knew he would be mortified but that would be a quick victory. You didn’t want to waste this massive gift you had been given. You had to use this to torture him as much as possible. The corners of your lips curled up in slowly as you realised exactly what you had to do. You had to feed the hidden attraction he had to you, make it grow and Bucky would torture himself.

You had a plan of attack and you were taking Bucky Barnes down, once and for all.

Giddy with amusement at all that had happened that night and looking forward to the next morning you settled yourself into bed. You had never slept so soundly. 

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

 

Bucky squinted as the first rays of sunlight penetrated his room at Stark Tower. He hadn’t slept at all that night, hadn’t moved from his seat on the edge of the bed after the irate and embarrassed woman had told him to go fuck himself and stormed out. Bucky really couldn’t blame her. It had been going perfectly, she was interested and passionate, beautiful too. And before they had even began he had completely screwed it up. 

In the heat of the moment, with his hands tangled in the womans hair and her hands on his thighs and her lips on his neck his brain was switched off and he had thrown his head back, the wrong name slipping unbidden from his mouth in a groan. 

He hadn’t been thinking about her, hadn’t been picturing her at all. Or so he argued with himself but he must have been, why else would he have said her name? He wasn’t attracted to her at all, he despised the woman. He had said her name because Thor’s Asgardian liquor had muddled his mind, because he was still angry at her. Because he hated her. She was the last woman he would want to picture in such a compromising position, on her knees between his thighs, running her hands up his legs, her warm lips pressed into his neck. 

He stood up quickly, shaking the mental image he had accidentally conjured from his mind. His heart was racing because of his rage, no other reason he assured himself. It wasn’t lust coursing through his veins, it was loathing. He repeated it to himself like a mantra all the way down to the gym where there was a punching bag to take his frustrations out on.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

You were well rested but anxious. Morning had brought about the realization that there was one gaping flaw in your plan.

Flirting wasn’t your strong suit. You had a very limited range of experiences in that area. One experience to be precise. It had been a lab assistant on one of the lower floors who’s coffee you had caught before he had dropped it on the floor. 

He had stammered and thanked you, blushing adorably. You quickly realised that every time you smiled at him he blushed and you went out of your way every day to find a way to his floor to smile and say hello, once you had casually winked at him and his heart had started beating so fast your enhanced hearing had picked up on it. You hadn’t realised at the time you were flirting with him, it hadn’t been intentional. Only when Pepper pointed out what you were doing did you figure it out and had panicked, avoiding that floor from then on. 

You mulled it over in the shower, mentally working your way through any possible options. You could ask Natasha for advice but she would want to know who you planned on flirting with. Darcy and Wanda were out for the same reason. Pepper was an option but if she told Tony… No, Pepper was out. 

You apprehensively googled “flirting techniques” on your phone with one hand while you towel dried your hair but that was as unhelpful and disturbing as you had feared. You absent-mindedly pulled on one of the t-shirts you had pilfered from Sam and sat cross legged on the end of your bed as you tried to think of some way to subtly seduce a man you despised. You just weren’t great at this sort of thing, you were raised to be a weapon of mass destruction not a femme fatale. 

Maybe the lack of experience was part of the problem, maybe you needed to actually get some real world experience. Maybe you should start dating. But did you want that?

Pepper and Tony completed each other, they made each other happier. You already had so much love in your life, you didn’t think you were lacking. Still, there was no set limit on how much love a heart could hold. Not to mention what the woman in the elevator had said last night about meaningless flings. You didn’t know if you were a fling kind of girl or a romantic one. It was a side of yourself you hadn’t had the chance to explore. 

A bubble of excitement grew in your chest as you considered it, really considered it. You weren’t a weapon of mass destruction any more, you were just a girl. And you wanted to date. You were doing this. This wasn’t just about Bucky any more, it was about you. Finding new ways to piss of the metal armed asshole was just a bonus.

Decision made you sent out a group text to Pepper, Natasha, Wanda and Darcy. You still didn’t know exactly how to do this so you needed to recruit some help. 

Your phone dinged and you picked it up to see a text from Pepper, suggesting that you got some shopping in before you left the city for the compound. Wanda, Natasha and Darcy were all in. You weren’t quite sure how shopping was going to help but you agreed none the less. They after all were the experts. 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

One hour later and several galleons of coffee later the five of you entered a large outlet store. Natasha and Pepper had decided you would start from the cheaper, larger stores and work your way up. Darcy and Wanda were too hungover to disagree even if they wanted to and you had no experience to base an opinion on. 

You veered off into The Avengers merch section with an excited grin. They had shirts for every single member of the team and you grabbed one of each, instinctively passing over the black and silver winter soldier one. Then you paused. This was perfect, this was exactly the kind of thing you needed to get under Bucky’s skin. With an internal evil cackle you hunted down every piece of Winter Soldier clothing you could find and triumphantly threw them into your basket, hiding them under a Captain America onesie lest the girls question your sudden desire buy Bucky merchandise. Satisfied with your finds you wandered off to find the rest of your group with a skip in your step. 

“What did you find Kotenok?” Natasha asked, peering into your basket and chuckling at seeing the fuzzy pyjama version of Steve’s suit. 

“I’m sure Cap will love that.” She remarked.

You shrugged and gave her your best innocent face as she dumped a pile of dark, skimpy, tight looking clothes in your basket. You knew better than to question her about it and went along with the Russian redhead. If anyone knew sexy, it was Natasha. 

Darcy’s contributions were far more questionable as she bounded round the corner, her arms piled high with far more pairs of underwear than any human needed and she dumped them in your basket (which was now overflowing) with a large grin. 

“Should I be concerned about you enthusiasm for choosing my panties?” You asked her.

“Hey! I am offended by your implication that I will be trying to guess what pair you are wearing under your clothes from now on!” She gasped, hand on her chest in mock outrage. 

Before you had the chance to dive into that whole mess your attention was diverted by Wanda coming over and forcibly grabbing your face so she could hold up two lipstick tubes to your mouth. Nodding to herself she released you without a word and walked back the way she came. 

This was not what you had expected when you told them you were ready to try dating but you had to admit, you were incredibly touched by how seriously they were taking this. 

Several hours and many stores later you were all laden down with an obscene amount of bags as you tried to figure out a way to fit them into the cars. One intense game of bag Tetris later you were all piled into the vehicles and on your way to the restaurant Pepper had suggested for lunch. 

It was a fancy place, as expected but discreet. You were all led to a private table in the back where you settled in as Pepper ordered your drinks. As soon as the waitress left four pairs of eyes pinned you down with the same intensity and you squirmed uncomfortably in your seat. 

“What?” You demanded in a very nervous squeak. 

“So who’s the guy? Or gal?” Darcy asked, propping her chin on her hand and smirking at you across the table. 

“What Darcy means to ask is if there is someone in specific you are hoping to date.” Pepper clarified.

The four women leaned in as you opened your mouth to answer. 

“No.”

You frowned, you hadn’t spoke. Natasha had. 

“There’s nobody yet. This is just the next step in taking control of her life. Isn’t it Kotonk?” Natasha said. 

You nodded meekly, letting her take the lead on this. The less you said the better. 

“Ok that’s great news. That means we can help you find somebody. Do you have a Tindr profile?” Darcy asked.

“What’s a Tindr profile?” You enquired with a frown. 

“Do you have a type, what makes someone attractive to you?” Wanda prodded. 

“Oh yeah good question, we need to know what exactly we’re looking for here.” Darcy agreed.

You told your drink from the waitress and started gulping it down, you were starting to get overwhelmed. You looked to Natasha and Pepper for assistance but they both had their eyes on their laps as Darcy started talking about birth control. 

“Alright, done.” Natasha stated, placing her phone down on the table. 

“Beg your pardon?” You responded. 

“Your date will pick you up tonight at seven. It’s a guy I know from S.H.I.E.L.D. Very sweet, handsome, interesting. You’ll adore him.” Natasha told you. 

Darcy gaped at her and Wanda giggled. You just blinked rapidly trying to get your brain to engage. Pepper placed a comforting hand on your shoulder. 

“You said you wanted this but you can change your mind at any time sweetheart. That being said, the longer you leave it, the more you’ll work yourself up over it. Happy is going to be your driver for the evening and he will be close by if you want to leave at any time.” Pepper assured you. 

You looked around the table at everyone’s speculating but kind gazes. If you backed out now then they would drop it, no questions asked. You swallowed thickly and nodded. 

“I’m in.” You told them. 

“Wonderful, now that’s sorted what are we thinking for lunch? I’ll be getting the salmon.” Pepper said, passing you over your menu. 

It was sorted. You were going on a date. Tonight. For the first time. Tonight. Your first ever date. Tonight. Pushing your nerves down you glanced at the menu, a small smile gracing your lips as amongst the nerves flickers of excitement grew. 

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
It was 6:57 pm. Your hair was shining and softer than it had ever been, your skin was glowing, your eyelashes were dark and long, your lips painted a wicked blood red, your body was squeezed into a tight black dress and your poor feet were trapped in a pair of gorgeous but deadly heels. 

The women had prepared you as best they could, now it was all up to you. You paced nervously, trying to break in the heels as Natasha and Wanda watched you with amusement. Darcy had been deployed to keep Sam away and Pepper was distracting Tony. You did not need either of the over protective men in your life making this more stressful by threatening your date. Pepper had insisted that Natasha and Wanda take photo’s before you left though. 

“I’m going to throw up, oh god.” You muttered to yourself as you paced. 

Wanda snickered at you. 

“You’ll be fine, your date is a nice guy. He’ll make sure you have a good time.” Natasha promised. 

“Why won’t you tell me more about him? I have no idea what to expect from whoever is going to be on the other side of that door. It’s freaking me out!” You shrieked.

“We can see that.” Wanda giggled. 

“I hate you both.” You grumbled. 

“No you don’t.” They said in unison. 

Knock Knock Knock. You jumped about a foot in the air and ran towards the door, reaching it turning around and running back to Natasha and Wanda. 

“What do I do?” You hissed in a panic. 

“I believe you know how to open a door.” Natasha said, getting up and gently pushing you towards it. 

You wrung your hands together and smoothed your dress down, licking your dry lips you approached the door and with a deep breath swung it open. 

“Oh hey Steve. What’s up?” You asked. 

The Captain smiled shyly at you and held out a bouquet of flowers. "You look absolutley beautiful." He told you. Your eyes took him in and you realised he was wearing a suit. Not a lets go kill nazi’s suit, a lets go to a fancy restaurant suit. You gasped loudly and your jaw hung open. 

“Wha? Huh? I… What?” You stammered in shock. 

Natasha laughed softly from behind you and put her hands on your shoulders, spinning you round to face her. You saw Wanda shaking with mirth behind her as you tried to figure out what the hell was going on. 

“Listen to me Kotonok, we wouldn’t send you out with some stranger for your first ever date. You have never done anything like this, we aren’t going to send you out into the world with no idea what to expect. Steve is the biggest gentleman in the world, he’s going to take you to dinner and show you exactly how you deserve to be treated when you do find someone you want to go on a date with. Granted he doesn’t have much more experience than you at this but he will look after you.” Natasha explained. 

“But me, Steve...” You protested. 

“It’s just a practice date. And this way, your first date will always have been with someone you care about.” Natasha said. 

You turned to look at Steve. His cheeks were tinged with pink and he looked nervous but smiled at you encouragingly. 

“There’s nothing romantic here doll, but as your friend I would be honoured if you would let me take you out tonight.” He said earnestly.

And just like that the nervous bubble in your stomach popped. You knew Steve, you trusted Steve. There really was no one better to have your first date with, even if it was just a platonic date. You smiled happily as you realised what everyone had done for you. They had found the best way to catapult you into dating while making sure you were safe and comfortable. You reached out and accepted the flowers from Steve.

“I would love nothing more Cap.” You told him.

Wanda clapped excitedly and jumped up with her phone. 

“Pictures to document the occasion, Peppers orders!” She exclaimed.

You rolled your eyes as Natasha pushed you into place next to Steve, and he wrapped his arm around your shoulders and squeezed. 

“You wanna stop this, just say the word.” He assured you.

“Think of Tony’s face when he sees these pictures. His girl, dating Steve.” Natasha pointed out. 

Everyone laughed at the mental image and Wanda took the photo at that exact moment, capturing you laughing happily in Steve’s embrace as he looked down at you with a large smile lighting up his face. 

Steve quickly ushered you out of the door, offering you his arm and leading you onwards to your date. You accepted easily and happily as you made your way down to the lobby, arm in arm with your friend and feeling extremely lucky to know these people. 

In your room Natasha turned to Wanda.

“Make sure and send that to the whole team.” She told her with a scheming grin. 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

 

Bucky was moping, there was no other word for it. He was tired, he had worked out nearly all day. It hadn’t managed to relieve any of the frustration he was feeling. Steve had informed him he had a date and then swiftly disappeared, refusing to answer any questions and Sam had been enticed to the media room to watch some comedy film with Darcy so Bucky was alone with his thoughts. The only small blessing was that he had managed to avoid the newly appointed Stark all day. 

Bucky frowned in curiosity when his phone dinged with a text from Wanda. She didn’t normally text him all that often, they were usually in the same building. He opened the message and sat up in confusion and shock. It was a photo of you, all dolled up and laughing, tucked in at Steve’s side, his arm around you. He looked at the caption and his breath caught in his chest. “Off on their first date.” Bucky’s metal hand contracted around the phone and the screen cracked under the pressure.

What. The. Fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so glad that none of you know how to find me.


	6. Mrs Captain Spandex

“WHY THE FUCK IS ROGERS ON A DATE WITH MY CHILD?” Tony screamed as he rushed into the common room.

“You mean why is the literal embodiment of chivalry on a date with the adult daughter that you acquired two days ago? Darcy sassed. 

“Exactly, why is the precious innocent girl I cherish on a date with a hundred year old man?” he rebutted. 

“Tony, the independent grown up woman WE love very much is having dinner with our very good friend whom we respect and trust. Please calm down.” Pepper tried to soothe, barely concealing her amused smirk. 

“Did the winged wonder know about this? WILSON!” Tony spun round, searching for a target for his fury. 

“Sams in the kitchen hyperventilating into a paper bag.” Darcy supplied. 

“Wait a second, you knew about this!” Tony accused Pepper. 

“Yes I did.” Pepper stated calmly, arching a brow at Tony. 

Tony faltered, torn between concern and outrage at the situation and fear of Pepper. 

“But… isn’t he supposed to ask my permission first?” He whined petulantly. 

“Not until he wants to ask for her hand in marriage.” Darcy happily chirpped, munching on the leftover popcorn from the movie. 

Pepper sighed and had to resist the urge to facepalm as Tony’s face started rapidly turning red. 

“SHE IS NOT MARRYING CAPTAIN SPANDEX, I FORBID IT!” He bellowed. 

Darcy’s snigger turned into a full on cackle as Sam’s wailing voice drifted out of the kitchen.

“But why did nobody tell me? I had to find out through a group text, I feel so betrayed!”

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

You tugged on your seatbelt and whined. Steve was being stubborn and you did not appreciate it.

“I’m supposed to be showing you how you’re supposed to treated on a date sweetheart, and you deserve the world.” Steve argued.

“I don’t want the world, I want a burger!” You protested. 

“The restaurant Pepper booked is supposed to be one of the nicest in the City.” He tried to reason with you. Unsuccessfully.

“You don’t want to go to a fancy place any more than I do, I know you.” 

“If you take a take a beautiful dame out for dinner you’re supposed to treat her.” He argued weakly.  
“I dunno Cap, I think you’re supposed to give the lady whatever she desires.” Happy piped up from the front seat. 

“This is why you’re my favourite Happy.” You told him as he caught your eye in the rearview mirror and shot you a wink.

Steve chuckled at your antics as the car rolled to a stop. 

“Oh look, we’re here.” Steve told you. 

You looked out the window and back to Steve with a quizzical expression. He just raised an eyebrow at you smugly. 

“You were never taking me to the fancy restaurant Pepper booked were you?” You laughed. 

“I had a gut feeling you’d enjoy this more. They have the best pie in Brooklyn.” He said, getting out of the car as Happy opened your door and helped you up. 

“And yes, they have burgers.” He assured before you could ask. 

“Yay.” You whispered under your breath excitedly. 

Steve laugh and ruffled your hair and you batted his hands away like a cat batting a ball of string much to his amusement. He caught on of your hands in his and tugged you into the cosy little diner. 

You gasped softly as Steve opened the door and waved you through. The little retro diner was like stepping into the past, or onto a set of one of the old movies you had watched with the man standing beside you. 

“Did you used to come here? Before?” You asked. 

His answering smile was filled with the sadness of loss and fondness as he nodded. Your heart broke a little for him and you wrapped your arms around his waist.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

Bucky stormed down the hall towards the elevator, needing to get out of the tower. He didn’t have a destination in mind he just planned on walking until his body shut down. 

“Did you get my text? Didn’t they look cute together?” Wanda called from behind him. 

Bucky paused without turning round, clenching his jaw. 

“No.” He snarled out. 

“No, you didn’t get it? That’s ok, I’ll send it again. You really have to see it, they looked so excited for their big date.” She exclaimed excitedly and promptly walked away before he could even think about saying anything else. 

Bucky growled in frustration and pushed himself towards the elevator, desperation to get out of the tower increased tenfold. 

Wanda however practically skipped into the common room and over to Natasha. 

“You were right.” She told her. 

“Of course I was.” Natasha said with her signature smirk. 

“When are we going to tell Tony and Sam it’s not a real date?” Wanda sniggered. 

“After they give Cap the shovel talk?” Natasha suggested.

The two of them shared a conspirational laugh.

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

“It seemed like a good plan at the time but I had miscalculated ever so slightly because setting the explosives wasn’t usually my job and when they went off Bucky was a few feet closer than he should have been. The force of the explosion knocked him backwards, straight into the river. We all rushed over to see if he was ok and there was Bucky climbing out of the river with the most disgruntled expression you have ever seen, looking like a drowned alley cat.” 

You were clutching your ribs as you cried with laughter as Steve regaled you with old tales of his exploits with the howling commando’s. 

“I wish I could have seen that.” You chuckled. 

“Poor Buck, he was always getting into trouble while trying to watch my back. Lost count of the amount of back alley fights he pulled me out of before the serum changed me. Then I was bigger and Buck was still watching my back, like nothing had changed.” Steve said. 

You regarded his wistful expression and pushed your fries across the table to him. 

“I forgot you said you used to be smaller, I can’t picture it.” You told him.

You clapped your hands together excitedly.

“I can picture it! Ohhh, Can I use your phone?” You made grabby hands at him and he handed it over with a long suffering sigh as you grabbed his hand and pushed his thumb onto the screen unlocking it. 

It only took you a few minutes to find what you were looking for as Steve left you too it, polishing off the remainder of your fries. You clicked on the black and white photo and tilted your head to the side as you studied it. You held the phone up to Steve to compare the two. 

“Huh.” You remarked. 

“Yeah, I was...”

“The exact same.” You interrupted whatever self deprecating comment he was about to make. 

He looked up in bewilderment. 

“I mean your body was smaller yeah but you look the same, it’s still your face. It’s still you.” You said matter of factly. 

You locked the phone and handed it back, peering into the fry basket with disappointment. You looked up to complain to Steve for eating all your fries but were stopped by the smile he was giving you. He reached over the table and grabbed your hand. 

“I want you to promise me something.” He started.

“Ok, anything.” You agreed, not even having to think about it. 

“Don’t hold back, when you find them. The person you want to be with. Don’t fight it and don’t wait around. When you find love sweetheart, grab onto it and don’t let it go.” He asked of you. 

You knew why he was asking, you understood. 

“I promise.” You said solemnly.

He squeezed you hand and smiled brightly, with all the warmth of the sun. 

“Now about that pie..” He said and you laughed.

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Bucky didn’t get any calmer as he walked, the cool air doing little to soothe the fire in him. He gave up and headed back towards the tower, resigned to another sleepless night. He sighed in defeat as he approached the tower and headed towards the doors when he saw something so awful he felt like he’d been punched in the chest. You and Steve were walking away from a car towards the same doors he was. Your shoes were dangling from one of Steve’s hands and his suit jacket was draped around your shoulders, his other hand entwined with yours as Steve threw his head back and laughed at something you said. 

Steve’s eyes clocked Bucky and with mirth still on his face he called out.

“Hey Buck.”

Your eyes followed Steve’s and you grinned

“Hey there Sarge.” 

Bucky glowered coldly at the two of you, before nodded once, stiffly at his oldest friend. 

“Steve.” He said flatly and stalked through the lobby doors and towards the elevator. 

Of course, that’s obviously where you were both heading as well he realized. You and Steve stepped onto the elevator with him and as the doors slid closed your skin crawling giggle filled the small space, 

“He doesn’t seem happy to see us.” You stage whispered to Steve. 

“Everything ok Buck?” Steve asked concernedly. 

Bucky grunted in response. 

“I think he might be jealous Stevie.” You said, a positively vicious smirk on your face. 

Bucky’s head snapped round and he glared at you incredulously. Your eyes were sparkling as you snatched your heels from Steve’s hand and swung his jacket off your shoulders and offered it back to him. 

“Don’t worry Bucky, you can have him back now.” You said. 

Steve chuckled and took his Jacket from you. 

“The dates not done until see you safely to your door sweetheart.” Steve told you. 

“Don’t worry, I’ve got it from here Captain.” You assured him, stretching on your tiptoes and kissing him on the cheek. 

“Thank you Steve, I had the best time.” 

The elevator doors slid open and you spun out of them.

“Goodnight gentleman.” 

And with that you were gone and Bucky breathed a sigh of relief. 

“Buck, I...” Steve began.

“I really don’t wanna fucking know pal.” Bucky snapped and stormed away. 

Steve shook his head wryly and made his way to the kitchen, slowing to a halt in the common room when he was met with Sam and Tony sat in wait, arms crossed and identical disgruntled expressions on their faces. 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

You stretched your limbs and let out a little whimper of relief at being freed from the beautiful but constricting dress and lingerie and you pulled on an oversized shirt as someone hammered on your door. 

You laughed as you went to let Nat and Wanda in so they could demand you recount the evening for them. Only it was a furious Bucky you found on the other side of the door instead. He strode in, forcing you to move aside and let him pass. 

“Sure, come on in.” You muttered sarcastically. 

He reached past you and slammed the door shut. 

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” He snarled at you. 

“Getting ready for bed?”   
He lunged forwards, invading your personal space and before you could stop yourself you backed away, which was a stupid move because he followed and you were now trapped between the door and his chest as he towered over you. His eyes were dark and angry, his jaw tight and his fist clenched as he looked down at you. His chest vibrated with the force of the growl that ripped out of it.

“He’s far too good, too pure to be tainted by you. You’re a fucking experiment gone rouge, a freak and he might not be able to see the monster hiding behind that pretty face of yours but I do. Stay the hell away from him.” He warned. 

“Or what?” You asked, intending to say it challengingly but his close proximity and anger made your voice more hesitant than you would have liked. 

Bucky blinked in surprise and he looked between the two of you with shock, as if he hadn’t realised how close he had gotten. His breath ruffled your hair as features softened slightly and he took a step back. 

“Just stay away from him.”

He grabbed the door handle and pulled the door open, pushing you out of the way as he all but fled from the room. You were shook and befuddled as the encounter replayed in your mind one thing stood out. Bucky had said you had a pretty face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got such lovely feedback on the last chapter that it made me need to write another one. You guys are the best, I never expected anything when I posted this but it has already proved to one of the best decision I have ever made. Because of you folks, my days are brighter now.


	7. Fight Or Flight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Description of panic attacks in this chapter. Also I think this is the longest chapter yet.

It was like a switch flipped in your head, one minute you were deeply asleep and the next you were wide awake, senses on high alert as you heart the door to your room click shut. You kept your eyes closed and forced your breathing to remain steady as you felt the mattress dip beside you. It took a fraction of a second for you to realise who it was and rolled over to glare at Natasha who was propped up on your pillows, as comfortable as she would be on her own bed. She met your glare and raised one of the two cups of coffee she was holding up in your line of vision. 

You groaned and pulled yourself into a sitting position so you could grab the cup, immediatley latching onto it and draining half the cup in one gulp. All the team had learned to make your first cup of coffee of the day a little cooler so you didn’t burn your mouth thankfully. 

“Status Report?” You rasped. 

“Tony is still in meltdown mode. He knows it wasn’t a real date with Steve but he’s now realised you’re going to be dating people who aren’t Steve, which is worse. Sam is sulking, he’s hurt that you didn’t tell him but he’ll get over it.” She informed you.

“Recommended course of action?” You asked. 

“Buy Sam something something tasty, accept that Tony will never not be a drama queen.” 

You snorted in response. 

“So what did you learn about dating last night?” She asked you. 

“Nobody will ever measure up to Steve and the best pie in the world is in Brooklyn.” You told her. 

“Kotonok.” She warned. 

“It’s alright to be nervous I think but if I can’t be myself with them then I shouldn’t be on a date with them. That’s why you sent me with Steve, because you wanted me to understand that I should only date someone if I feel comfortable with them.” You said. 

“Good girl,” Natasha said with approval.

“So did it give you any ideas about what you want to do next?” Natasha asked. 

“About who I would like to date?”

“No, about how to make Barnes jealous.” She said casually, sipping her coffee. 

You froze and looked at her, trying to contain the nervous guilty smirk and failing. 

“How did you know.” You asked. 

“Oh Kotonok, I always know.” 

“It’s a terrible idea isn’t it?” You prepared yourself for her lecture. 

“It’s a brilliant idea.” She told you

You blinked in shock and she winked at you.

 

“This isn’t a big deal but I don’t want you to be blind sided.” She told you, pulling out her phone and turning it so you could see the screen and efficiently changing the subject. 

It was an article on a well knows news site. It featured a picture of you and Steve getting out of the car last night with the headline, “MISS STARK, AMERICA’S SWEETHEART?”

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Bucky seethed as he sat in the kitchen and listened to Steve recount your date for Sam. Finding out there was nothing romantic between you two had made Bucky feel better but only slightly. The one plus was Sam was as pissed as he was for once. For very different reasons but Bucky would take what he could get. Then Steve told them what had happened when you found a picture of him pre serum and how you had reacted. 

Steve’s eyes were soft as he spoke and Bucky could tell how much it meant to him that you hadn’t made a big deal out of it. Something in Bucky’s chest loosened every so slightly. Steve had the biggest heart of anyone he had ever known and nobody had ever looked at him twice when they were younger, never seen past his small stature to the good man held within. Now people threw themselves at Steve, not caring that he was the best person they would ever have the good fortune to meet and it annoyed Bucky to no end.

Even Sam’s ire had faded a bit. 

“He’s giving us the puppy dog eyes on purpose isn’t he?” Sam asked Bucky. 

“Yes.” Bucky confirmed.

“They’re totally working aren’t they.” Sam said. 

“Yes.” Bucky huffed. 

“You’re a little shit Rogers. I’m still pissed you didn’t tell me but I’m glad you two had a nice time.” Sam admitted. 

“Thanks Sam. So does that mean I can take her out again?” Steve said with a smirk. 

“Man you better run.” Sam snapped, throwing the nearest object at Steve which happened to be an apple from the fruit bowl. 

Steve caught it easily and bit into it. 

“Is that a yes?” He asked. 

Bucky rolled his eyes as Sam leapt off his seat and Steve slipped out of the room laughing. Idiots. 

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

 

Decision making was not your forte apparently. You had decided that buying Sam a selection of brownies from the cafe a block away from the tower would get you well on the way to being forgiven. That was a good decision, what wasn’t a good decision was deciding that you could go and get them alone, without an escort. Despite Tony’s mandate that you not go anywhere without an Avenger by your side. 

You reasoned that it was only a block away and you couldn’t have a superhero escort for the rest of your life, so this would be a good baby step. In theory it was a good plan, in reality you had failed to account for one very large and terrifying factor. The press were absolute savages.

You had dealt with the press before, they were always hovering around Tony. You usually hung back with Happy as Tony and Pepper navigated them or stayed close to Natasha who kept them all a respectful distance away with an intimidating glare. You hadn’t dealt with them alone before. The second you stepped out of the tower, alone and unescorted they pounced on you. 

Your eyesight, hearing even smell were all far beyond anything an average human had and your enhanced senses were something you usually relied heavily on. Your enhancements backfired today as you were surrounded by a pulsating mass of bodies, all pushing together to box you in. Blinding camera flashes rapidly went off in your face and screeching voices pierced your eardrums. You were blind, trapped and overwhelmed. 

You wrapped your arms around yourself, staying as still as a statue, trying to hold onto the thought that these people were soft and breakable humans. If you tried to push your way out blindly you could seriously hurt somebody. It was becoming more and more difficult to breath and while you can’t have been stood there for more than a few seconds it felt like a lifetime. You didn’t know what to do, you couldn’t think. The sharp taste of copper filled your mouth and somewhere in the back of your mind you realised you must have been bitten your lip. 

Darkness started to invade your mind as your felt your consciousness begin to dim when something wrapped itself firmly around your waist. Your fight or flight instinct kicked in and you began to struggle before you registered the cool, unyielding feel of metal. You were yanked backwards, through the vultures and away from them. In barely of few seconds you were hauled into the elevator and surrounded by blessed silence. 

Your heart was jackhammering in your chest and you were still struggling to find breath. The metal arm was still encased around your waist and you sagged against your saviour with relief, expecting to be met with a metal suit against your back but instead it was a warm, firm breathing chest. Your brain connected the dots and you realised it was Bucky who was holding you tightly. 

Slowly, like a victim in a horror movie you turned your head to look up at him. You’d seen Bucky angry before, hell you were the one putting that expression on his face but you had never seen this. His face was blank, empty, expressionless and his eyes were filled with a cold fury. He wasn’t looking at you, he was looking ahead and you belatedly realised you were moving, he was bodily carrying you through the corridor. When had you left the elevator?

A second pair of arms encircled you as Buck unceremoniously dumped you onto a very surprised Tony’s lap. 

“She’s having a panic attack, help her.” Bucky demanded. 

Tony snapped into action right away grabbing your hands, pushing one onto his chest and one onto your own. His chest was moving slowly whereas yours was rapidly and shorty constricting. 

“Breath with me Kit Kat.” Tony said softly. 

You looked up at him with wide lost eyes as he made gentle encouraging noises. Tony wanted you to breathe with him, you could do that. Over the next few minutes you put every ounce of concentration you had into controlling your lungs until you were breathing at the same pace as him. Once he was confident you weren’t going to hyperventilate Tony glared at Bucky over your head, silently demanding an explanation. 

“She went outside. Alone. Paparazzi accosted her.” Bucky told him in a short clipped tone before strutting away. 

Tony swore under his breath and continued to rub soothing circles onto your back as you calmed down. Between the mental exhaustion and the sense of safety Tony was supplying your eyes quickly flickered closed and you drifted to sleep in his arms. 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Bucky walked away from the lab, not knowing where he was going to go just knowing he had to get away from her. He had delivered her safely to her father, that was enough. He didn’t have to stick around and see her in her moment of vulnerability. He tensed as the skin on the back off his neck prickled. 

“What do you want Natalia?” 

Natasha leaned casually against the wall behind him. 

“I wonder what her first word was. We’ll never know because nobody who cared was around to hear them. She didn’t have a first day of school, or a first birthday party or a first sleepover. She didn’t go to a high school prom or dance. All these milestones people take for granted and she didn’t have them. You can’t begin to imagine how that makes someone feel, but I can. It makes you feel alone, like you’re not quite real.” Natasha told him. 

Bucky turned to look at her, what Natasha was saying to him deserved his attention.  
“But her first date? That was with one of her best friends and he treated her better than any other person would have done. She’s taking back control and finding her humanity despite having it tortured out of her. I would have though you of all people would understand and respect that.”

Bucky clenched his jaw but wisely kept silent. Natasha pushed away from the wall and stood in front of him, poised and elegant even in her lethality. 

“Last night meant the world to her, and to Steve. Whatever issues you have with her, whatever games you want to play, I don’t care. That’s between the two of you. But do not try and poison the memory of last night for them.” 

She didn’t have to add an “or else” it was implied, and understood. Bucky nodded once, in agreement and Natasha walked away, satisfied. 

Truthfully Bucky had no intention of mentioning last night again, for Steve’s sake. Natasha had made it clear that was a line he was not cross and he had no desire to anymore. Things had gotten too complicated and though he still hated her, the thought of hurting the girl who was under his skin made him feel sick. 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

You woke gradually, and calmly. Your head was in someones lap and there were muffled voices in the background and you turned over slowly. Your head was in Wanda’s lap and her fingertips were glowing red. 

“I didn’t want you to wake up in a panic.” She explained, her eyes apologetic. 

Wanda didn’t like using her powers on someone without their permission if it could be avoided and you were well aware of that. 

“I trust you.” You assured her with a smile. 

She smiled back gratefully and you cocked your head as you registered Tony and Pepper’s voices. 

“We were all going back to the compound tonight but I believe Tony intends to take you back sooner.” Wanda told you. 

“How angry are they?” You asked her.

“With the journalists? Furious. They are not angry with you though.” She replied. 

You arched a brow at her. 

“They are not overly angry with you.” She amended. 

You groaned and stood up, drawing Tony and Peppers attention to you. Tony crossed his arms and looked at you, his eyes flitting over you. 

“What were you thinking?” He said. 

“I was thinking I’m an adult. Adults can go to the bakery without a damn escort.” 

“You were being a brat, that isn’t very adult of you.” He said. 

“Tony, don’t.” Pepper admonished. 

“A brat? For walking a block away on my own?”

“You’re on the cover of every magazine in the country right now, do you know what that means? It means that every one in the world know exactly where you are right now. The press have no idea you’re an Avenger but you’ve been on enough missions that HYDRA do.” Pepper told you. 

“Docherty is still alive, he’s still out there. Project Vernichtung and HYDRA would kill to get their hands on you, god knows how many others.” Tony snapped. 

You gaped, you hadn’t thought of that. 

“You’re going back to the compound, and you’re not leaving it again until I decide you have learned the severity of the situation!” Tony said. 

“We’re just trying to protect you, it’s for your own good.” Pepper tried to assure you.

Your breath caught in your chest. 

“Calm down sestra.” Wanda murmured in your ear.

“Stop mollycoddling me!” You snapped at all of them. 

You were internally reprimanding yourself, you knew you had fucked up. And now you were lashing out at your friends, your family. At Tony, who had given you everything. You couldn’t do that and rushed out of the lab, knowing you couldn’t control the anger bubbling up inside you. Anger at yourself, at the Paparazzi, at Hydra, at Project Vernichtung. Fear was swirling in your veins, and embarrassed at your stupidity. Too many emotions running under your skin and you were going to explode. You needed to release them, you needed an outlet. 

“Friday, where is Sargent Barnes?” 

“Sargent Barnes is currently in the Avengers designated gym, would you like me to take you to him?” Friday replied as you stepped into the elevator.

“Is he alone?”

“He is.”

“Then yes, take me to him.”

The elevator took you to the right floor and you thrust yourself out of it as soon as the doors opened and rushed for the gym.

Bucky’s head whipped up as you stormed into the gym and strode towards him like a woman on a mission. His eyes widened as you approached, not slowing your pace. 

“What are you doing?” He asked, a hint of nervousness in his voice. 

“Spar with me.” You demanded. 

He scoffed and shook his head. 

“Not a chance.”

You smirked and shrugged your shoulders.

“Then bleed.”

You fist whipped towards his face and he barely got his arm up in time to block it. You smirked victoriously at having successfully called his bluff. You ducked under his arm and spun, slamming your elbow into his solar plexus and he let out a soft grunt of shock. You lithely stepped out of his reach and brought your hands up defensively. 

“Spar with me.” You demanded once more. 

His eyes narrowed minutely and that was all the warning you had before he lunged forwards, his flesh fist on a collision course with your face. You dropped your right knee to the ground, your left leg stretched out behind you and his swing went wide, leaving him temporarily off balance. You took advantage and putting your hands on either side of your right knee, used your upper body to twist yourself around, your outstretched left leg sweeping his legs out from under him. 

That left you with your back to him for a split second but that was all he needed use the momentum of his fall to roll to his feet and execute a textbook perfect roundhouse kick that caught you in the ribs as you spun to face him. You were propelled back several feet, landing on your back. You rolled over, getting your legs under yourself and landing in a crouch. 

You chuckled lowly, your anger slipping out through the sound. 

“Why’d you do it Soldat, wyh’d you come to my rescue?” 

You straightened up and you started circling each other, your bodys tense as you both searched for an opening to make an attack. 

“Do you really think I need your help?” You snarled

“I wasn’t saving you, I was saving them. Cornered animals tend to strike out, didn’t want to see those poor journalists slaughtered.” He snarled back. 

You grinned savagely and pushed yourself off the ground, leaping through the air like a jungle cat and colliding with Bucky, knocking him to the ground. 

“I’ll show you an animal.” You threatened. 

Any semblance of a fair fight went out of the window then as he headbutted you, knocking you off him. He didn’t waste a second to let you recover and the fight was on. You and Bucky slashed at each other, landing blow after blow, the upper hand switching between you. You worked out every ounce of anger on him and he treated you the same. You relished in every second, soaking up the violence and fury. It was cathartic, almost blissful. 

His metal fingers grabbed a fistful of your hair and yanked your head back exposing your neck and you laughed. 

“We should get physical more often.” You suggested. 

He faltered and frowned at your reaction and you planted your foot into his knee and pushed and he went down onto one knee his fist releasing your hair. You propelled yourself into the air, using his thigh as a springboard and spun, bringing your fist up to crack across his jaw as you landed. His lip split under your knuckles and his head snapped to the side, showering the gym floor with droplets of blood. Bucky groaned in pain and he looked at you with a rare expression of respect. 

You walked backwards, your chest heaving with exertion. 

“Thanks for the dance doll.” You said mockingly and turned and strutted out of the gym, leaving him bleeding on the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tony: I don't like to be handed things.  
> Bucky: *dumps reader in Tony's arms*  
> Tony: I'll allow it.
> 
> Sorry it took me all day to post a new chapter but I had to sleep for a while. It's a personal failing, I'll do my best to rectify it!


	8. An Introduction To Fatherhood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluffy angst, angsty fluff. This whole chapter is from Tony's POV btw.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are allusions to what could be construed at child abuse in this chapter, absolutely nothing graphic though.

EIGHTEEN MONTHS AGO

It was an indisputable fact that Tony Stark did not play by the rules. He wasn’t part of this mission with the X-Men really, he was here a favour. It was supposed to be a simple in and out, disable the security and let the mutants infiltrate the facility and get on with their rescue mission. Curiosity got the better of him though. He’d easily taken down the tech that was protecting the facility but while in the computer system his attention had been caught by something. An interestingly high amount of the power was being diverted to one particular room and he wanted to know why. 

The X-Men were inadvertently providing a good distraction with their attack and Tony made it to the mysterious room with relative ease, only encountering two small groups of soldiers that had been taken down quickly. Tony pushed the door open and stepped though, gauntlets poised and at the ready. What he saw was not what he expected. 

There was a metal 6×4 cage in the centre of the room, inside it a rubber mattress and a figure curled up on it. Tony approached apprehensively. 

“Boss, scans show 15,000 volts of electricity running through those bars at a current of 0.2 amp. I highly recommend you don’t touch them.” Friday warned. 

Tony whistled lowly, impressed. 

“Whoever you are, they’re going to a lot of effort to keep you in that cage.” Tony addressed the figure. 

It stirred, raising it’s head to look at him and Tony’s heart skipped a beat. It was a girl, barely a woman. Her face was gaunt and sunken, her expression was cold and empty. But her eyes, they were burning. 

“You think because I won’t fight your prisoners I’ll fight a robot?” She asked and pulled herself to her feet, and he could tell that it took a lot of effort. 

“I will never give you what you want.” She vowed. 

Despite her obvious trouble standing up she stood tall. She’d called him a robot and he realised she didn’t know who he was, which made him wonder just how long she had been here. 

“Friday we still in the system.” He asked

“Yes Boss.”

“Shut the cell down.”

“Done” 

Tony fired his repulsor at the cell door lock and yanked the door off the hinges. The girl was shaking but didn’t back away as Tony approached her, in fact she raised her chin defiantly. Her eyes widened and she gasped as the Iron Man suit folded away. 

“I’m not going to hurt you.” He promised. 

Now that he was closer he could see the bruised layered over fading bruises covering her skin.  
“How long have you been here?” He asked her. 

Her head cocked to the side and she looked him over curiously. 

“Who are you?” She asked. 

“You should know who I am, everybody in the world knows who I am. And for once that’s not my ego talking, I just really am that famous.”

She looked at him, her brow furrowed. 

“Alright lets start again. Tony Stark, Iron Man. And you are?” 

“Is this a trick?”

“No, it’s a rescue mission.”

She laughed, it wasn’t a happy laugh, there was no joy in it. It was a bitter, painful laugh. 

“So it is a trick. There is no escape from this place, no rescue. There is no saving me, I know that. I learned that lesson a long time ago.”

“It’s time to get re-educated sweetcheeks, we are shutting this place down. Every mutant being held here is currently being led out by a team of literal superheroes. The people who did this to you are going to pay, and they’re paying today.”

Her shoulders dropped and he saw her visibly deflate, the fire that had been in her eyes dimming. 

“Stop it. I won’t fall for this, you’re wasting your time.” 

She dismissed him and resumed her previous position, curled up on the mattress.

“Jesus Christ. What have they done to you?”

She ignored him. Tony crouched down next to her. 

“Listen to me kid, I know I’m asking a lot. I’m asking you to have hope and that can’t be easy. Maybe this is a trick, maybe I am lying. But if there’s even the slightest chance I’m telling the truth, that I am going to take you out of here, don’t you HAVE to take that chance?” 

He could see the sheen of unshed tears in her eyes. He held out his hand to her. 

“I will get you out of here, I will keep you safe. I promise. All you have to do is take my hand and I’ll do the rest.”

She stared at his outstretched hand and he saw her internal struggle. For a long moment she did nothing and he started to worry. He didn’t want to pick her up and drag her out, he doubted that would endear him to her but he would do whatever it took to get her out of this wretched place. Then slowly, hesitantly she reached out and tentatively placed her hand in his. 

“Atta girl. What’s your name?”

“I don’t have one, they never gave me one.”

“What was your name before?” He prodded. 

“Before?”

“Before you were here.”

She frowned and he felt a cold sense of dread in his gut. He knew what she was about to say but still prayed he was wrong. 

“There is no before. I was born here.”

If all the people who’d ever said that Tony Stark didn’t have a heart had seen him right then, they’d have known just how wrong they were because that was the moment Tony’s heart broke. 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The first few days were the hardest and Tony was out of his depth. When he’d taken you out of that place and refused to hand you over to Xaviers people he’d had the best of intentions. He’d arrogantly thought he could look after you better than a school filled with teachers with experience at this sort of thing. 

It had been three days and you hadn’t slept, every time he left the room you followed after him like a faithful little shadow. If he gave you food you would eat it but you wouldn’t tell him if you were hungry. If he moved too quickly you would flinch. He had Pepper researching therapists, she’d found a woman who specialised in children who’d been raised by religious cults but he knew it was too soon to suggest it to you. He hadn’t let Pepper or anyone near this floor of the tower. 

Then there was the fact that you were enhanced. Your bruises had healed up before they’d even made it back to the tower. He’d read over the files he’d extracted from the facility, though a large chunk of them were missing or corrupted. 

You were for all intents and purposes a Super Soldier. Not quite as strong as Steve, though quicker. Tony thought that was probably because you were physically smaller but there was no way of knowing for sure without further testing and scientific curiosity be damned, he would die before ever testing you that way. It wasn’t the super soldier serum that had made you Vernichtung though. He had faced the tablet screen away from you and watched the footage of that on silent. What he had seen still haunted him. 

What didn’t haunt him was the dozens of videos of you refusing to do that bastard doctors bidding. From childhood to now, Tony watched you grow up on the small glass screen. In the worst conditions, through unimaginable pain and loneliness you stood there year after year and said no you would not kill, you would not destroy. No matter what they did, you held your ground. Docherty had tried to create a monster and ended up with someone so very human. 

“You need a name. People have names and you’re a person.” He told you. 

And so he read out names from a list on a baby naming website until he saw your head lift up just a fraction and your eyes lit up. Now you had a name. It was a turning point for the two of you. Having a name made you feel safer, like maybe this was real, maybe you were actually free. 

It didn’t happen overnight and some days were harder than others. You met Pepper and while it had been nerve wracking for Tony she had taken to you straight away. Some days you wouldn’t leave Tony’s side but some days you would run through the tower excitedly to ask how to use a microwave. Some nights you would scream in your sleep and Tony would hold you as you sobbed. The therapist you had agreed to see said that was a good sign, it meant you felt safe enough to process your trauma. It didn’t stop it hurting when you cried into his chest. You put in a herculean effort to catching up on a lifetimes worth of movies and TV shows as soon as you worked out how to work a TV. 

One day there had been a very minor explosion in the lab while he was in there with you and Pepper and you had pushed Pepper behind you and assumed a protective stance without hesitating. Whenever he fell asleep in the lab he woke up with a pillow under his head and a blanket over his shoulders. You had insisted on learning to cook and were constantly shoving plates of food at him. They got more edible over time thankfully. 

The hardest day for Tony was the first day you left the tower, but you had been fine. Terrified yes, you hadn’t let go of his hand the entire time but you did it. 

The best day had been when you had casually and jokingly called him dad when he was fussing over you. He had froze as he realized that what he was, a dad. 

That was the day he had decided to give you the Stark name. 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

MODERN DAY 

Tony glanced over to you in the passenger seat as he drove you to the compound. After you had rushed out of the lab you had come back and hour later and apologised. He told you your apology was accepted and to get your ass in the car. You hadn’t argued. In fact you hadn’t said a word since. He sighed. Perhaps he had been harsh. You had been right when you said he was mollycoddling you. He had been so concerned with keeping his promises to keep you safe he had given you a false sense of security.

As furious as he was with the journalists who had swamped you he was also glad they had stopped you from leaving the tower. He just wish he knew what to say to right now. He needed to know you were ok. 

His internal struggle was rudely interrupted by Cap calling. Tony answered and put him on loud speaker. 

“We just got a call from Fury. His people just identified a Hydra operation in South Mexico. Fully operational facility, over 200 agents on site, enhanced allies suspected.” Steve said without preamble. 

“We’ve know they were operating out of somewhere in South Mexico for a while, glad we finally have a location.” 

“The informant escaped Tony. Hydra know we know.” 

“So we either go in without any recon, knowing they’re ready for us or let them scatter.” Tony summarised. 

“Those are the only two options, yeah.” Steve agreed. 

“Well then oh fearless leader. What’s our play?” Tony asked. 

“We hit them and hit them hard, we need everyone on this.”

“Everyone?” You asked. 

“Yes. We need you on this.” Steve confirmed. 

You didn’t have to look to know Tony wasn’t happy. You had only been on a handful of missions so far, usually you hung back unless you were needed. It had only happened three times so far, on two of those occasions you had been able to handle the situation as yourself. Only once had Vernichtung had to do the job. From the sounds of this mission… Well you were fairly certain Steve wasn’t asking you to be yourself. 

“You have me, all of me.” You said. 

“Hey now, slow down. You’ve only been on one date.” Tony joked, but it was weak and lacked his usual sass. 

“We’re en route, we don’t have time to stop. You have to come to us.” Steve told you both. 

“Aye Aye Captain.” Tony said. 

He swerved off the road and pulled up, cutting the engine. He watched as you squared your shoulders and mentally prepared yourself. You turned to him with a determined look. 

“Come on dad, time to suit up.” You said and got out of the car. 

Yeah, you were going to be fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry and I promise Bucky will return next chapter. Please don't hate me and boycott this fic :(


	9. Mission Control

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> VIOLENCE AND GORE WARNING

It was hard to feel like a bad ass when your father was carrying you in his arms through the air to the jet. As soon as Tony flew into the quinjet and put you down Sam was squeezing the life out of you.

 

“First of all, you don’t go on any more damn dates before I have the chance to size them up. Second of all you don’t go out on your own, ever. You understand me?”

 

“If I say yes will you let me breathe?”

 

“I’ll consider it.”

 

“Ok ok, I understand!” You yelped.

 

Sam Wilson had a hug on him that could fell a super soldier, which actually wasn’t that surprising.

 

Steve nodded in greeting to you and waved you over to the centre of the quinjet where the battle plans were being rushed. You and Sam walked over to join everybody, they all spared you a quick glance and smile or wave before turning their attention back to Steve. You eyes took in Bucky and his split lip. He was ignoring you, though you couldn’t tell if it purposely or he was just concentrating on Steve. Which is what you should be doing. You put aside everything else and carefully paid attention.

 

Hydra had a facility under an ancient Mayan temple deep in the Lacandon Jungle. Because their had been no opportunity to do re-con you knew very little about the layout of the facility or the temple above it.

 

“The informant let slip something about tunnels and Hill was able to find references to them in an essay based on an old text. The tunnels come out through the cliffs, 4’2 miles away.” Steve pointed to the spot on the map.

 

“We need someone to watch the tunnel entrance for any agents trying to escape. The tunnels are narrow so there shouldn’t be too many of them.” Steve continued, eyeing you.

 

“It’s an ideal distance away for me and if they’re low in numbers I should be able to take care of them without any… issues.” You agreed but he still looked nervous.

 

“We don’t know where the entrances are around the temple, we need eyes from above. We only have four members who can go airborne and we need them at the temple.” Steve explained and gestured at Thor, Tony, Sam and Vision.

 

There was good reason that Vernichtung was a last option, a break glass in case of emergency. It was volatile and savage, unable to differentiate between good and evil, friend and foe. It couldn’t be unleashed when there was anybody innocent close by. The only person who had personally witnessed it on the team was Tony, he was able to monitor you from the air at a safe distance. If necessary Sam and Vision were also permitted to provide eyes on Vernichtung.

 

You swallowed thickly. If they needed the fliers with them, you would have to go in alone. You wouldn’t have any back up.

 

“I’ll go with her.” Bucky spoke up and you weren’t the only one to do a double take.

 

He ignored you all and pointed to the map.

 

“There’s a smaller cliff, parallel to the one we’re supposed to watching. I can set up a vantage point from there and shoot any Agents trying to escape, if she needs to go in I can watch her back from far enough away.” Bucky explained.

 

It was admittedly a good plan. Steve clapped Bucky on the shoulder and even Tony didn’t look like he could find fault with it. It was decided you and Bucky would stealth drop from the quinjet as it passed over, so Hydra wouldn’t be alerted to your position. From there you would make it to the cliff top to watch the tunnel entrance where Bucky would take over and you would wait with him until you were needed on the ground.

 

Steve ran through everyone else’s orders but you tuned out, instead focusing on what was going to happen first. The stealth drop. You had flown with Sam and Tony, numerous times. You had never free fallen through the sky with nothing but a piece of tarp to save you. You made your way over to the door of the quinjet where the parachutes were stored. You really hoped you could figure out how to use one properly.

 

“Don’t worry, you won’t be making the jump alone. You’ll be strapped to Barnes.” Natasha said from behind you.

 

“I’ll be what now?” You hissed.

 

She smirked at you as you groaned and wandered back to the team to listen to what Steve was saying.

 

“Banners on the other side of the world, he’s coming but he’ll likely not get here until it’s over. And Tony is the only one who knows how to contact Spiderman seeing as none of us know his identity.” Steve was saying.

 

“Don’t feel too left out, Tony won’t tell me either.” You lied.

 

Well technically it wasn’t a lie, Tony hadn’t actually told you Peter Parker was Spiderman. Peter Parker had.

 

“Regardless, we’re it. It’s us going in alone and they are prepared for us. They’re probably thinking they have the upper hand and they’re right but we’ve got something they don’t.” Steve said.

 

“Morals.” Clint butted in.

 

“Humanity.” Sam added.

 

And suddenly everybody was chirping in.

 

“A stellar sense of style.”

 

“Lakers season tickets.”

 

“The warriors spirit!”

 

“Ten bucks says he was going to say ‘each other’.” You quickly input.

 

“You know what, you don’t get a rousing pre battle speech. You don’t deserve it.” Steve huffed good naturedly.

 

There were scattered jeers and apologies as you all laughed with a sense of camaraderie. Steve held up his hands in surrender and smirked.

 

“Alright, alright.” He placated.

 

Steve’s expression turned serious and the atmosphere changed, the time for joking was over.

 

“This isn’t an ideal mission but this is an important base for them. None of us want to walk into this ambush but we don’t have a choice, we need to do this. Cut off one head and another will grow in it’s place… It’s time we stop cutting off heads and start burning Hydra to the ground.”

 

That was a plan you could all get behind.

 

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

 

You and Bucky made it to the cliff top before your stomach settled. Jumping out of planes was not a hobby you would be taking up any time soon. Neither would being manhandled by Bucky Barnes and literally strapped to his chest be making it onto your list of enjoyable activities.

 

Bucky started quickly and efficiently unpacking his rifle, sparing you a quick glance.

 

“I’m impressed you didn’t scream on the way down.” He acquiesced.

 

“Oh Buck, you’ll never hear me scream.” You retorted

 

His fingers faltered on the zipper.

 

“Cause I’m brave...” You explained innocently and he glared at you.

 

You rolled your eyes at him.

 

“It’s called a stealth drop for a reason, I’m not an idiot. And Sam may have possibly warned me not to.” You admitted.

 

Bucky snorted and you regarded him with mild surprise. Surely he was laughing at you and not with you. Bucky set up in record time and lay down on his stomach. He found the tunnel entrance on the scope of his rifle and you paced behind him.

 

“Stop that. It’s distracting.” Bucky reprimanded

 

“You’re not even looking at me.” You protested.

 

“I can hear your footsteps.”

 

You huffed and crouched down beside him, looking at the entrance.

 

“Do you have to breathe so loudly, it’s putting me off.” He complained.

“You were a sniper in a war zone, how the fuck can my breathing be more distracting than that?” You snapped.

 

Bucky sighed in exasperation while you wondered if you could kill him and hide his body in the jungle and just blame the bad guys. Nah you didn’t want to hurt Steve. Barnes would have to live for now you decided.

 

“Hows your lip?” You asked.

 

“Do you care?” Bucky retorted.

 

“Hydra have abandoned the facility and holed up in the temple itself” Steve’s voice informed you both through the comms.

 

If Bucky noticed you jump at the sudden interruption he didn’t mention it.

 

“Why would they do that, they’re trapped.” You asked.

 

“Friday scanned the temple. We can’t get a read on what’s inside which means we can’t risk blowing it up. There’s only one entrance to the temple and it’s narrow enough they’ve bottlenecked it. They can hold us off for hours before we’ll make any headway.” Steve explained.

 

“Good tactic, if they called for back up.” Bucky said.

 

“That’s what we’re assuming.” Steve agreed.

 

“What do you want us to do?” You enquired.

 

“Hold tight, stay in position. We’re going WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!?”

 

You and Bucky exchanged a look of apprehension.

 

“Captain, what’s going on?” You asked.

 

“Enhanced in the field. Some kind of rock throwing mutant.” Tony’s voice came in and supplied.

 

We’ve got this, don’t worry.” He added.

 

Not worrying was easier said than done.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

Steve clung onto the edge of the massive hole that had appeared in the ground under his feet and swung himself back over the edge to survey the scene around him.

 

Above him Vision was blasting through a chunk of rock that had been propelled through the sky towards him, Sam was manoeuvring through the air to try and avoid the dozens of smaller boulders that had been aimed his way.

 

There was a woman stood at the edge of the jungle, her arms raised in Tony’s direction, Steve threw his shield towards her but she brought up her hand and the ground between them shot up, forming a dirt shield that stopped hi shield. The woman attempted to throw another large chunk of the ground at Tony again but it never got anywhere near him, stopped in mid air by a red mist.

 

“You may be able to move the earth, but I can move everything.” Wanda told the enemy mutant and sent the rock careening back towards her.

 

The woman shrieked in fury and held her hands in front of her, diverting the boulder to the side and sending it crashing into the temple.

 

“Made you look.” Wanda told her and the woman gasped as an arrow embedded itself in her chest.

 

“Hey, I found another way into the temple.” Sam exclaimed.

 

The mutants boulder had crashed through the temple wall, ripping a large hole in the side.

 

“Well lets go say hello.” Tony decided.

 

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

Bucky fired his rifle without warning and you raised an impressed eyebrow. The Hydra operative had barely poked their head through the entrance for a second and he hadn’t hesitated, sending a perfectly aimed bullet through their skull. You even opened your mouth to congratulate him when at least ten agents burst through the entrance and scattered in opposite directions. Bucky couldn’t get them all before they made it to the cover of the jungle, no matter how good he was. He swore loudly as a second group exited the tunnel and made for the trees.

 

You looked over the cliff edge, it was at least a 400ft drop. You rotated your shoulders and breathed out.

 

“I think that means I’m up.” You said.

 

“Be careful.” He told you.

 

You took one last look at his concerned expression before you breathed deeply and stepped off the side of the cliff.

 

As you hurtled downwards you remembered Bucky looking at you with respect after you sparred, him carrying you to safety when you were panicking, him saying you had a pretty face. In hindsight you realised it had all been progress into something other than hatred. That was about to come crashing to a halt. If Bucky ever said your name into the still of night again it would be in the throes of a nightmare, not the throes of passion.

 

All those times he had called you a monster, a freak, an abomination… He was right, and he was about to get proof. All your life you had fought this darkness trying to swallow you from the inside out. With the ground rushing towards you, you stopped fighting.

 

And everything went dark.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

From his vantage point Bucky had a perfect view as you fell and landed gracefully on the ground, as easily as if you’d stepped off a stair. You walked forwards into the jungle and he frowned, the way you were walking wasn’t familiar. You stalked forwards and it brought forwards images in his mind of the way a tiger moved, with confidence and power. He focused the scope on you and swallowed thickly. He could see your veins through your skin, they were jet black and rippling across your flesh like spider webs.

 

The air around you rippled and crackled and the darkness in your veins spread into the air around you, like black shocks of electricity. He remembered the words he’s read in your file before he’d ever met you. Electrically charged telekinetic field.

 

You dissapeared from his line of sight into the jungle and a few moment passed before he heard it. Screaming that was abruptly cut off, leaving an eerie silence. He waited and you came back out of the trees, moving towards the tunnel entrance. Your face was towards him and he physically recoiled from the image in the scope of his rifle. The veins on your face converged on your eyes which were pitch black. It was the animalistic sneer on your face that had shocked him though.

 

That wasn’t you he realized, whatever that thing was it wasn’t you. It was a monster, wearing your skin.

 

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

 

Natasha sped towards the opening in the side of the temple, not slowing at the sight of six Hydra agents. She was on them before they could raise a gun.

 

She didn’t break her stride as she caught the oncoming fist of one of the men, twisting in to him and using his own momentum to throw him face first into the floor. She dropped to the floor, one knee bent and the other leg swept under the feet of another attacker and knocking him off balance so he was going down as Natasha was standing up and his face met her fist with a sickening crack.

 

The other four rushed her and she lithely danced out of their reach, using one mans arm to hoist herself gracefully onto his back and using the height advantage to kick another in the throat. She dislocated the shoulder of the man she was perched on, bringing him to his knees and then sprung from his shoulders, colliding with the other two men in a mess of limbs and by the time they all hit the floor the two men were gasping in pain and Natasha had rolled easily to her feet.

 

She turned back to her final assailant who was still on his knees and gave him a sinful and dangerous smile that could have easily promised pain or pleasure. He didn’t have a chance to try and get up before Natasha had him by the back of the neck, bringing his skull down into her knee and he crumpled to the floor.

 

She picked up a discarded gun from one of her victims and entered to temple with Clint.

 

A seventh agent emerged and was met by Tony. The agent laughed and addressed him.

 

“I’m glad you got our invitation. You should know that Hydra has new allies now and Dr Docherty wants you to know he is coming to take his property back from you Mr Stark. HAIL HYDRA!” The Agent said.

 

Tony’s blood turned to ice and the agent grinned victoriously and turned his gun on his own head and pulled the trigger before anyone could stop him.

 

“Guys we have a bigger problem, we seem to be missing a couple hundred Hydra agents in here.” Natasha said.

 

Tony and Steve followed her and saw for themselves. The cavernous temple was devoid of life but was piled high with rocks.

 

“The earthmover made a second tunnel.” Clint deduced.

 

“So we lost them?” Wanda asked.

 

Steve and Tony shared a look, something was off. Tony swore suddenly.

 

“Barnes it’s a trap, Hydra are coming for Vernichtung. They’re lying in wait, they’re in the cliff.” Tony said over the comms.

 

Bucky went to respond but as soon as Tony spoke he saw the not you turn and look at the cliff curiously as if it had heard Tony. It raised it’s hands at it’s sides, the black electric around it crackling loudly and then there was chaos and Bucky was forced to duck.

 

“We have to go hel...” Tony was saying when the ground shook violently beneath their feet.

 

The Avengers were forced to run as the shaking started to decimate the temple above their heads.

 

“I thought the earthmover was dead?” Sam yelled.

 

“She definitely is, this is something else.” Natasha replied coolly as she dodged a piece of rock hurtling from the ceiling.

 

“So what, in the worlds worst case of ironic timing we just so happen to get hit by a natural earthquake?” Sam shot back

 

Wanda used her powers to stop a hunk of rock blocking Clint’s path and he nodded gratefully. The Avengers made it out of the temple moments before the entire structure collapsed

 

“It’s Vernichtung.” Bucky’s voice said over the comms.

 

“What about her?” Tony snapped worriedly

 

“It caused the earthquake. It… tore the cliff side off.” Bucky tried to explain.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

 

Your vision flickered in and out as your mind returned. You gasped for breath loudly like you had been underwater as your brain tried to piece together the perplexing scene in front of you. The entire side of the cliff was destroyed, lying in rubble all around you. Voices babbled in your ear, overlapping and loud. You clawed at your ears, unwittingly ripping out your comms and were relieved when the voices stopped.

 

You curiously moved around, going closer to the cliff. There was a pounding sound coming from somewhere as the air on the back of your neck prickled you realised too late it was footsteps as something collided with you. You were pushed into a rock and looked up at a familiar face. It was Bucky your brain helpfully supplied.

 

“Don’t move. Don’t look at the cliff.” He implored you desperately.

 

You frowned, your brow crinkling. What was going on?

 

“Why?” You croaked out, your voice hoarse.

 

He didn’t respond, just looked at you, his features contorted with desperation, worry, fear, pity. A sick feeling started clawing its way into your stomach and without warning you pushed him away from you and darted away. You ran towards the cliff, through the rocks. Fear was coursing through you, fear at what you had done. Had you hurt someone?

 

Nothing could have prepared you for what you saw. You came to a stop in the middle of the scene as you spun round trying to make sense of what you were seeing. You brain fought back, refusing to put the image together and then in an instant it all clicked together.

 

Carnage. There was no other word for it. Bodies were strewn all around you, none of them intact. Limbs were strewn across the space like litter, intestines spilling from mangled corpses.

 

You heard Bucky call your name as he chased after you. You wanted to ask what could have possibly done this, what terrible monster was responsible for this nightmarish chaos but you knew. A pained sob tore from your throat and you went to press your hands to your face to contain the noise but as you raised them you saw the blood staining them.

 

You had done this. After fighting all your life to deny the beast within your soul, here you stood, hundreds of mutilated bodies at your feet.

 

 

Bucky heard the wail before he saw you. You were stood in the dead centre of the slaughter. He had tried to shield you from this, he hadn’t wanted you to see it. Something moved between you and him and an agent who had somehow remained hidden deeper in the tunnels emerged, gun pointed at you. Bucky pulled his own gun and aimed, killing the lone agent quickly.

 

But not quickly enough.

 

 

Two loud bangs sounded from somewhere behind you but you didn’t care. You couldn’t care. All you could see, smell and think was blood. Everywhere you looked there was red.

 

Your chest felt awfully tight and breathing was suddenly much more difficult. Blood blossomed through your shirt, quickly spreading and soaking the cloth. You knew now what the sound had been. You had been shot.

 

Your breath tore itself out of your chest in ragged, painful gasps and you looked around you at the carnage. Your energy abandoned you and your knees buckled, hitting the mud with a lewd squelching sound. Tears burned your eyes as you realized that it hadn’t rained. The ground wasn’t saturated with water, it was saturated with blood. Your blood poured from your body and mingled with your victims.

 

The last thing you registered as you fell into blessed unconsciousness was the frantic eyes of Bucky Barnes looking down at you.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this took me longer than usual to post but in my defense I had to do research for this one! Plus it's Saturday night so the end of this chapter was actually drunk typed. Please forgive me?


	10. The Lies We Tell

A steady beeping pierced the air, rousing you from your sleep. You grumbled and reached out to find your phone without having to open your eyes so you could shut it up and go back to sleep but something grabbed your hand. Or rather someone. Everything came flooding back and your eyes shot open. 

You wrenched your hand from Tony’s grasp and started frantically patting your chest. 

“Whoa, whoa you’re alright. Calm down.” Tony assured you, grabbing your hands and making you look at him. 

“I, but… I was. What’s going on?” You spluttered, your voice hoarse and croaky. 

There were monitors and IV drips attached to you and you resisted the urge to claw at them, if Tony let them be put on you then you must need them. 

He let go of your hands and held out a cup with a straw to your lips and you blinked. Water. That was a wonderful idea. You gratefully sipped at it and it soothed your dry throat. You looked at him properly then. His skin was sallow, his eyes dark and tired. 

“You were hurt, you’re in the med bay.” He explained. 

“Then why do you look like the one who should be in this bed?”

“Well don’t tell anyone but I might have been slightly worried about you.” He joked. 

You let out a huff of laughter.

“What happened?” You asked. 

“What do you remember?” 

“The mission. South Mexico. That’s the last thing I remember.” You said. 

“That was three days ago. You got pretty banged up. you’ve been here since.” He explained. 

“I… jumped off a cliff. I went full Vernichtung.” 

“You did. There were Hydra agents scattered in the jungle, you stopped them from escaping. There was an earth controlling mutant on their side and she caused an earthquake that made the cliff collapse. You were hit by the rubble, just as you were coming back to yourself. It knocked you unconscious.”

“Ouch.” You muttered

“You should be fine now. You can’t suddenly speak French or anything though right?” 

“J'ai appris à parler plusieurs langues quand j'étais enfant. Tant mieux pour conquérir le monde avec.” You snarked. 

“Right you already spoke French. I knew that, I was testing you.” He covered. 

“Bucky? Oh God Bucky was on the other cliff.” You remembered, sitting up in a panic and trying to get out of the bed. 

Tony pushed you back down firmly but with care. 

“Barnes is fine, not a scratch on him.” He muttered, irritation dripping from his tone. 

You breathed a sigh of relief and looked him over again, noting how his eyes were rimmed red and he looked a little gaunt.

“You look like crap, I’m fine. You should get some rest.” You told him. 

“So should you. Unconscious isn’t the same as sleeping.”

He was right, you did feel quite tired and as soon as you realized that a yawn broke free from your mouth and he chuckled. 

“Get some sleep Kit Kat, you’ll need your energy for all your worried visitors in the morning.

You hummed gently in response and burrowed yourself deeper under the blanket, your eyes already closed. You felt a soft pressure on your forehead before Tony’s footsteps receded towards the door. 

“Was it just my head?” You mumbled and he paused. 

“What?” He said worriedly. 

“I didn’t hurt my chest did I?” You asked sleepily. 

“Why, does it hurt?” 

“Hmm, no. Just feels like it should. Dunno why.” You muttered into the pillow and if he responded you didn’t hear it, you were already fast asleep. 

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

 

The Avengers, minus Steve and Bucky were all congregating in on the couches in the common area, a film on the flat screen that none of them were paying attention too when Tony walked in tiredly. All heads snapped up to look at him as he made his way over to the bar, pouring himself a glass of scotch and draining it in one gulp. 

“She’s fine. Doesn’t remember a thing after being on the cliff with Barnes.” He told them. 

“Are you sure?” Wanda pressed. 

“If she remembered what happened we’d know about it.” Tony pointed out unhappily. 

“Are we sure this is the best thing to do?” Sam asked, yet again. 

“If I may Interject? Whether or not we think this is the best thing to do is irrelevant, it has already been done. Turning back now would only cause more problems.” Vision said. 

“He is right, what is done is done.” Wanda agreed. 

“We have much more pressing concerns right now. Hydra have made an alliance with Docherty, which considering his agenda is worrying.” Natasha reminded everybody. 

“I’ll add it to the list of secrets I’m keeping from my best friend.” Sam snapped. 

“If you want to be the one to tell her that she slaughtered nearly 200 Nazi’s because they made a deal with her tormentor to try and capture her then be my guest.” Natasha offered coolly, unphased. 

“Nobody tells her a damn thing.” Tony snapped and they all looked at him. 

“As far as she will ever know, she’s been unconscious for the last three days, Cap and his buddy are on a mission for Fury and she won’t hear the name Docherty again until I can deliver her his head in a basket.” He continued. 

“Man that’s dark.” Clint remarked and Tony slammed the glass down and stormed out. 

“Well I guess we have our orders. We lie to her and secretly hunt down the insane scientist without her knowing it.” Sam said bitterly and stormed out after Tony. 

“”Anyone else have anything they’d like to storm away over or can we watch the movie now?” Clint asked. 

Natasha cuffed him over the back off the head but nobody said anything and they went back to not watching the film. 

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

 

The next time you woke it was to the sound of footsteps approaching you in the medbay. You opened your eyes and blearily blinked up at the small unassuming man checking your vitals. 

“Bruce?” You asked. 

“Good morning, Miss Stark.” He smiled at you. 

You sat up and grinned at him. 

“You’re back!” You exclaimed, pointing out the obvious. 

“I’m sorry I missed your party but I was very happy for you when Tony told me.” Bruce said. 

“It’s alright Bruce, your work is really important. I know that.” You assured him. 

“About that, I would like to talk to you later, when you’re feeling up to it.”

You frowned at him, what could Bruce want to talk to you about concerning his work? You weren’t a scientist, you didn’t understand most of what he said. You didn’t see what you could contribute. 

“Ah, you want to run some tests don’t you? What do you need doc? Blood? Spinal fluid? Pound of flesh?” You joked. 

He smiled fondly and shook his head. 

“Nothing like that, the samples I took from you last time were more than sufficient. They were actually quite enlightening. I just want to talk about what I discovered.” He assured you. 

“It’s nothing to worry about, I promise.” He added upon seeing your nervous expression. 

You were going to press him for more information rather than wait until later but a familiar tread of footsteps was hurrying towards you. 

“We can talk about it later, after Sam fusses over me.” You told the good doctor just as Sam came trotting through the door. 

Sam wasted no time is clucking at you like a mother hen. 

“If it’s not Rogers it’s you. Can we go one mission without someone ending up in here?” He demanded. 

“A fucking cliff fell on me Sam, how is that my fault?” 

“Don’t try and play innocent with me missy, do you have any idea how worried I was about you? I’ve been going out of my mind for days.”

“I’m sorry, I’ll try to avoid rubble hurtling at me from the sky in future. I promise.” You apologised with your best puppy dog eyes.

He visibly softened and leant down to hug you. 

“You scared the hell out of me kiddo.” He whispered in your ear earnestly. 

You felt incredibly guilty then and hugged him back as best as you could in the awkward position. 

“I’m really sorry Sammy, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“Sorry to interrupt this touching reunion but I actually woke you up to tell you you’re completely healed. You can leave if you like.” Banner said, looking uncomfortable but it was betrayed by the amusement and fondness in his eyes. 

“Oh thank god, I’m starving.” You admitted. 

Previous trips had taught you that while the medbay food came from the same place as the rest of the food in the compound it somehow tasted much worse.

“I’d normally recommend having something light to start but your enhanced metabolism can probably handle a real meal. In fact I insist you get some protein. Doctors orders.” Banner told you before he left. 

“Did you hear him say you have to make me breakfast, cause that’s what I heard?” You asked Sam. 

“Yeah yeah, that’s what he said.” Sam said with an eyeroll. 

“Come on sleeping beauty, you shower, I’ll cook.” He said, picking you up and throwing you over his shoulder. 

“Sam I can walk!” You protested. 

And kept protesting until he dumped you on the floor outside your room and jogged away. 

“I hate you.” You grumbled. 

“No you don’t.” 

No, you really didn’t you thought with a fond grin.

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

 

The concussion hadn’t left any adverse effects, the pounding in your head was from Thor’s booming voice. As soon as he had spotted you in the kitchen he had roared with joy and picked you up, crushing you against his much larger body and yelled about his joy at your recovery. 

You massaged your temples and scowled. Stupid big blonde teddy bear. You had eventually extracted yourself from his grasp and escaped the kitchen and your chattering team mates. You loved them, you really did but they were acting like you had never had a concussion before. Yes you were unconscious for three days but that wasn’t a huge deal. They were acting like you had nearly died, what with all the shouting and hugging. 

You padded through the halls towards Tony’s lab, planning on hiding under his desk again. You saw him and Bruce through the glass and remembered Bruce saying he wanted to talk with you and your curiosity rekindled, pushing back your mild headache. The doors opened automatically for you, courtesy of Friday and you strolled in. 

Bruce looked up and waved at you as Dum-E whizzed over, spinning around in circles excitedly. 

“Hey little guy, guess you missed me as well.” You chuckled, leaning down to pat him on the head. 

Dum-E patted your knee in return and scooted away, returning a second later with a chair he was pushing along the floor towards you. 

“Hey, what did you want to talk about?” You asked Bruce, throwing yourself onto the empty chair and rolling it over to Tony’s desk who ruffled your hair in greeting and went back to his tinkering. 

Bruce looked at Tony who nodded. Bruce picked up a bunch of papers and came over and stood in front of the desk.

“The files on you we extracted from project Vernichtung weren’t complete, do you remember?”

You nodded. 

“Your father and I have been curious as to what Docherty had taken the time to remove from them before he made his escape that day. We think we might know now. I’ve been doing extensive research on your genetic make up, trying to understand it. Would you like to know what I have found out?” He asked. 

Bruce had asked you a while ago if he might study you. While you weren’t entirely comfortable with the idea you had acknowledged that Bruce wasn’t like any other doctor you had been subjected to. Tony trusted him and you trusted Tony implicitly so you had agreed. 

He had promised to be honest with you regarding whatever he might discover and assured you that you could say no or change your mind at any point. Knowing he was the hulk had gone a long way in getting you to trust him, he was the only person who could possibly understand how you felt about Vernichtung and was your best shot at finding out if there was a way to remove it. 

“I want to know. But keep it simple, I don’t understand any of the big words.” You joked.

“Your files said that you were created from a unique blend of several individuals DNA strands, all spliced together and implanted in a fertilized egg. Your embryo was then grown in an incubator and subjected to gamma radiation and injections of a knock off super soldier serum. Scientifically a lot of what was in those records was dubious at best, especially since there was nothing to back it up. No evidence or explanation.” Bruce said. 

You knew all this already, you were well aware you were grown in a lab. 

“You weren’t the first attempt. You were the first and only fetus to survive.” He told you. 

That wasn’t surprising but it was still made you feel ill. 

“Why me? What made me so special?” You whispered shakily. 

Bruce looked apologetic. 

“Because of the serum. It was passed down genetically to you, not injected directly. Your fetus wasn’t subjected to Gamma radiation directly either, your host was.”

“My host?”

“I’m sorry. Docherty lied to you, you weren’t artificially grown in the laboratory like his other attempts. You were born, like any other child. We, myself and a trusted associate of mine found two sets of genes in your autosomal chromosomes. Maternal and Paternal.”

He pulled off his glasses and wiped them nervously, looking to Tony. Tony took a deep breath and turned to look you in the eye.

“You have a mother and a father. You have biological parents.” Tony told you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The plot thickens! And I swear, I’m not doing some weird,gross plot twist where Bucky or Steve is her dad.


	11. Coffee Ransom

Tony was growing concerned. It had been hours and you hadn’t come back to the lab. Friday assured him you were still on the premises but wouldn’t tell him where. You weren’t capable of hacking the AI so either someone else had done it on your behalf or you were in the one room with Privacy Protocols that meant Friday couldn’t divulge anything. Either option led him back to one person.

 

Natasha was in the kitchen alone, making two cups of coffee.

 

“Are you sure telling her was the right choice?” Natasha asked without preamble.

 

“She had a right to know, no matter how painful the truth was.” Tony said flatly.

 

“And telling her this now just so happens to distract her from everything else.” Natasha noted, a bite in her voice.

 

“No, absolutely not. I wouldn’t break her heart like that just to distract her.” He snapped.

 

Because that’s what had happened. He had broken your heart. He’d handed you a file, one with a single slip of paper in it and what was inside had broken something inside you that he knew could never be fixed.

 

Subject 74 - B/F. A female class two mutant with a mild healing factor, one that had allowed her to survive the botched super soldier serum they had injected her with. Brought in eight months before you had been born and date of death, the day you had been born.

 

Your face had crumbled as you read it, as you realised you were holding the notes on your biological mother.

 

“Why would you show me this?” You had asked.

 

“Because she was likely pregnant when Project Vernichtung took her.” Bruce had explained.

 

“Your biological father wasn’t a subject. Which means he could still be out there. We could try and find him, if you want.” Tony had told you gently.

 

You had only wiped your cheeks, standing up and stiffly walking out of the lab, the file clutched tightly in your hands.

 

He hadn’t wanted to tell you at first. He knew it would utterly destroy you to learn you had a mother and she was dead. But he also knew how resilient you were, you would survive this. And as much as he loved you, as much as being your father had been the most unexpected and wonderful gift, he didn’t want to deprive you of the chance to find your real father if you wanted to look.

 

Telling you had not been an easy decision for him to make, but it had been a selfless one.

 

Natasha was satisfied he was telling the truth and had handed him one of the cups.

 

“I believe you had good intentions Tony but you just told her she had another dad out there and you were going to look for him.” Natasha said.

 

“Only if that’s what she wants.” He added.

 

“I think she’s more concerned with what you want right now Stark.”

 

“What does that mean?”

 

“It means for a genius you really are an idiot. You might want to go and tell your daughter that she’s still your daughter.”

 

Tony swore under his breath and moved as quickly as he could to Natasha’s room without spilling the boiling liquid he was carrying.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

You scratched your fingernails over the cover of the file while you waited for Natasha to come back with the coffee she’d insisted would make you feel better. You didn’t want to talk to anyone so you were hiding out in her room, curled up on her sofa and trying to pretend nothing was wrong. It was impossible with that file staring up at you.

 

You pulled the piece of paper from it, the only thing in the world you had of your mother and folded it up, tucking it into your pocket. One piece of paper, barely a full paragraph. Not even a name. Part of you was glad because seeing a name would have made it more real. This way you could shove it out of sight and mind.

 

Footsteps paused outside the door and you knew it was Tony.

 

“I know you’re in there. I come bearing coffee. And apologies.” He called.

 

You got up and nervously shuffled over to the door. You knew you had to talk to him but you were terrified of what he was going to say. You opened the door a crack and peered out at him. He looked as bad as you felt as he waved the coffee cup at you.

 

“Walk with me and I’ll give it to you.” He bargained.

 

You narrowed your eyes at him but he held his ground. As long as he was holding your coffee hostage he knew he could get you to talk to him. You huffed and opened the door, stepping out of Natasha’s room. He gestured with his head and you walked towards the elevator like he had intended. He got in after you, still holding the innocent coffee to ransom.

 

“The roof please Friday.” He said.

 

You glanced at him in surprise.

 

“No offence but you look like you could do with a little sunlight and fresh air.” He explained.

 

You didn’t respond verbally, just wrapped your arms around yourself. Was this the part where he told you he was giving you over to your biological father. Did Tony feel guilty for claiming you as his daughter and want to return you to some stranger with a silly genetic claim to you?

 

You exited onto the roof and he handed the coffee over to you. You wandered around while you sipped at your drink and Tony just leaned casually against the wall, watching you.

 

He had been right about you needing the sunshine and fresh air because even after a few minutes you feel a little better. Ever observant, he must have been able to tell you were ready to talk because he spoke first.

 

“If you want me to find him, I will. If you want me to forget he exists, I will. If you don’t want to make a decision yet, I’ll wait. You can wait ten minutes or ten years, I’ll wait. But you have got to talk to me.”

 

“I don’t know what to say to you.” You admitted.

 

“Tell me what you want, or don’t want. I’ll do anything for you and if you haven’t realised that by now you haven’t been paying attention.”

 

“What I don’t want? I don’t want some stranger who probably doesn’t even know I ever existed. You were the one who saved me, and took me in. You took care of me and taught me everything and let me make my own choices even when you didn’t agree with them. I had no idea what a father was or how it felt to actually have someone care about me until you.” You told him, tears threatening to break free.

 

“I know I’m impulsive but adopting you wasn’t a spur of the moment decision, it wasn’t done lightly. You are my kid ok? Mine, always. And I couldn’t be happier or prouder. No matter what happens I will always be your father. But Kit Kat you do have a biological dad as well. Maybe even a family. I can’t deny you the chance to look for them if that’s what you want.”

 

“I don’t care what’s in my stupid, corrupted DNA.” You yelled, snapping as the tears spilled over.

 

Tony pushed away from the wall and caught you as you started crumble. He wrapped his arms around you, pushing the cup onto the ledge of the rooftop so he could hold you.

 

“You’re my dad. You. I don’t want anyone else.” You sobbed into his shoulder.

 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. It’s ok. We won’t go looking for him, it’s alright.” He murmured soothingly and stroked your hair.

 

He kept softly giving assurances and holding you as you cried out all your frustrations. You cried for a mother you never knew you had and a father you didn’t want to find. You cried for ever thinking Tony would give you up. Most of all you cried for every nameless subject and every failed experiment of Project Vernichtung.

 

Eventually you pulled away from him, though not to far.

 

“We have to find him.” You stated.

 

“Whatever you want. We’ll check every DNA database there is for a match, I’ll hire the best private eyes in the world.” Tony promised.

 

“What? No, not my biological father. I don’t want to even discuss him.”

 

“Then who?”

 

“The Doctor. Jack Docherty.” You said.

 

You pulled the piece of paper from your pocket.

 

“I knew I wasn’t his only victim but I could never really let myself think about it. That was selfish of me. We have to find him for her and all of the others who suffered and died because of him.” You said.

 

Tony had gone pale.

 

“I am going to hunt him down and I am going to kill him.” You vowed.

 

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

“Romanov I don’t care that she killed nearly two hundred people, I care that she was _able_ to kill nearly two hundred people. It’s an important distinction.” Fury said through the phone.

 

“Thor could level most of the city with lightning, the Hulk could tear half the population apart. Even Stark could build a bomb that could decimate a continent if he wanted to. There’s no shortage of dangerous people on this team.” Natasha pointed out.

 

“And yet I’m not having to hide any of their killing sprees from the united nations.” He rebutted.

 

“Yet.”

 

“That a threat?” Fury asked.

 

“Not one aimed at you. Senator Stern on the other hand...” She said with a smirk Fury couldn’t see.

 

“Hill and I can’t keep covering for her. You’re lucky there was a dead mutant there to take the fall this time. And now we’re keeping her body count a secret from herself? This situations going to get real messy real fast.”

 

“Maybe, maybe not.” Natasha said coyly.

 

“You know something I don’t Miss Romanov?”

 

“Always.”

 

There was a knock on her door and she hung up on Fury without a warning or goodbye, fully aware and uncaring that she’d pay for it later.

 

“It’s open.

 

Clint poked his head in the door and held up his phone to Natasha.

 

“That was Rogers, he and Barnes are en route with your package.”

 

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

You woke the middle of the night, tossing and turning, shaken and clammy. You’d had the strangest nightmares but you couldn’t say what they were about. Fragmented images of corpses with no limbs taunting you and shattered mirrors dripping with blood were all you could recall.

 

You warily tried to shake it off as you untangled yourself from the blankets cocooning you and decided to steal some of Bruce’s calming herbal tea. It wasn’t to your usual tastes but it seemed to work on him since he was always so calm. When he wasn’t big and green that was. You left your room and stealthily crept down the hall so you didn’t disturb any of your slumbering neighbours.

You padded quietly into the kitchen, rubbing the sleep from your eyes. There was a light coming from the fridge and you blinked sleepily at the dark figure stood in front of it as he stiffened at your approach.

 

“You’re back.”

 

“We got back a few minutes ago.” Bucky said.

 

He turned slowly and looked at you, his eyes flickering over you in what looked like concern. You gasped lightly at the site of him. There was a large purple bruise covering the right side of his face and a small cut on his cheek.

 

“Trouble on your mission?” You asked worriedly and opened the freezer.

 

“Mission?”

 

“The others said you and Steve were on a mission for Fury.” You said as you rummaged in the freezer.

 

“Right. Didn’t think anyone would have said anything.” He stated.

 

You found what you were looking for and pulled out an Ice Pack. There were usually always a few of them in the freezer, a necessity when you were living with Superhero’s.

 

You moved to stand in front of him and pressed it gently to his cheek while your eyes checked him over for any other noticeable injuries. You were startled out of your visual examination by him gently grasping your wrist in his hand but he didn’t try to move you, just held your hand to his face.

 

“What are you doing?” He whispered.

 

Your actions only dawned on you then and you pulled your arm from his grasp.

 

“Sorry, I’m half asleep. Must be too tired to hate you properly.” You joked nervously.

 

Bucky looked at you curiously and you awkwardly backed up a step to put room between the two of you.

 

“So you actually have to put effort into hating me, it doesn’t just come naturally to you?” He clarified with a smirk.

 

“What? No, that’s not what I said.”

 

“That’s exactly what you said doll.”

 

“I got hit really hard on the head, I was in like a mini coma for three days. My concern for your stupid face is just a side affect. Temporary insanity. I still think you’re an insufferable asshole.” You assured him.

 

He just grinned at you and took a step forward, closing the gap again and slowly reached out and gripped your arm, pulling your hand back up to his face.

 

“What are you doing?” You parroted his earlier question back at him.

 

“It still hurts, the ice helps.” He explained.

 

“Oh, ok.”

 

It took you an embarrassingly long minute to realise he could have just taken the ice pack from you.

 

You could have pulled your hand away but for some inexplicable reason you didn’t. Instead you stood there in the near dark with him, gently holding the ice against his bruised cheek. It was calm and tranquil and completely out of character for the two of you and yet neither of you moved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing this chapter was like emotionally sucker punching myself.


	12. Blue Moon

You woke up naturally, no life monitors beeping at you, people coming to check on you, nightmares thrusting you from your rest or Russian Spy’s lounging on your bed. It was a nice change of pace and it was responsible for your great mood, solely responsible. The happiness you were experiencing had nothing to do with your late night rendezvous with Bucky in the kitchen.

 

“Friday, play something fun and loud for me please?” You asked with a grin.

 

The opening notes of Shoot To Thrill began to play loudly and you started shaking your hips, which was easier said than done when you were still lying under a duvet. You dramatically threw the covers off yourself and got up, letting the music feed your stellar mood as you rocked out and danced your way through a shower. You had successfully locked away all the bad feeling yesterday had brought, pushing away the sadness and anger over your birth parents into a box in your mind.

 

Friday kept the music coming, running through a playlist of rock songs you’d come to love through Tony as you dried your hair and dressed yourself.

 

“You’re the best Friday.” You told her as you left your room.

 

“I am well aware but thank you for noticing.” She replied.

 

You chuckled as you made your way to the kitchen, trying to identify who was making banging noises.

 

“Steve!”

 

He crossed the room in a few large strides and engulfed you in a hug. You wriggled your arms out of his tight grasp and wrapped them around his tiny waist. The hug went on a little longer than you expected and you awkwardly patted him on the back.

 

“You alright there Cap?” You asked in concern.

 

He pulled back and looked down at you, his expression fretful.

 

“Are _you_ alright? I’m sorry I had to leave before you woke up, I didn’t want to.”

 

“Hey, it’s ok. I understand. Besides, it was only a small knock to the head. Everyone is making a far bigger deal out of this than they need to.” You bemoaned.

 

The concern your team mates had for you was nice, you appreciated knowing they cared but it was getting a little over bearing. Steve picked up on your frustration and stepped back, dropping the subject.

 

“I don’t think anyone else is up. Want to join me for a run?” He asked.

 

“No, not really.”

 

“It will do you some good.” He offered.

 

“But cardio is evil and you’re really competitive.” You whined.

 

“What if we did our run out of the compound?” He offered.

 

You were enticed by the offer, which is why he had made it.

 

“Alright, I’ll go change.” You grumbled and stomped back to your room.

 

You quickly changed, throwing on your falcon shirt and a pair of sweats. You figured if Sam wasn’t there in person he could be there in spirit. You met Steve in the hallway and he threw his arm around your shoulders and led you out of the compound gleefully.

 

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

 

Natasha washed the blood of her hands with a stone cold expression. The “package” that the Captain and Barnes had picked up for her hadn’t taken very long at all to break.

 

What she had learned from the now whimpering mess of a man had been troubling and she wasn’t looking forward to telling Stark. She had however been given a new lead and didn’t plan on telling Stark anything until she had the full story.

 

It would have to wait though, she had other plans to put in motion today. Just because her Kotonok had other things going on it didn’t mean Natasha was going to give her a break.

 

Picking up her phone with now spotless hands Natasha sent off a text with a scheming smirk.

 

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

 

The run had been torture but it had been worth it to see Steve’s petulant expression when you overtook him. He had grown more and more irritated when he couldn’t take back the lead. He really was competitive. You had raced all the way back to the compound, reaching the doors a few seconds before the blonde super soldier with a jubilant victory cry and making a mental note to have Friday send the security footage the Sam.

 

You dragged yourself into the kitchen after your second shower, your muscles screaming in protest. Steve chuckled with vindictive amusement. You let him have it, you were faster but he had much higher stamina and was already recovered. You threw yourself onto a stool and whined in pain as Steve slid a plate over to you. You shook your head in wry amusement at the smiley face drawn onto the pancakes.

 

Taking a large bite you groaned.

 

“Even chewing hurts. How do you do that every day?” You asked.

 

“It gets easier the more you do it. I don’t normally run twelve miles though.” He admitted.

 

“Me either.”

 

“Clearly.” he noted.

 

Your phone pinged with a text message and you shovelled another mouthful of pancakes onto your fork with one hand while you checked the message.

 

Natasha: Meeting room three, now.

 

You groaned and swallowed as much food as you could while getting up.

 

“I gotta go. Thanks for the food, I hate you for the exorcize.” You told Steve.

 

“No you don’t.”

 

You winced as your calf muscles burned.

 

“Actually right now, I kinda do.” You whimpered.

 

Steve’s chuckling followed you all the way down the hall and into the elevator.

 

When you arrived Natasha was coming out of the meeting room with a man you didn’t recognise. He was clean cut and wearing what you could tell was an expensive suit, sophistication and elegance practically dripping from him.

 

“Kotonok, I wasn’t expecting to see you down here.” Natasha said once she spotted you.

 

“But..”

 

“This is Daniel Maddox, an associate of mine. He’s a lawyer, he was instrumental in obtaining your identification documents.” She continued, speaking over your confused objections.

 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you in person Miss Stark.” He said kindly, offering his hand to you.

 

Natasha smirked at you from behind him and made a pushing motion with her hands. You gave your best impression of one of her faux charming grins and took his hand.

 

“The pleasure is mine Mr Maddox, seeing as I owe you a thank you.” You said as you shook his hand.

 

“I have another important meeting to get to, which I’m already late for. Would you mind showing Daniel out for me?” Natasha asked you.

 

“Sure.” You agreed, trying to contain your bewilderment.

 

Natasha bade him goodbye and left, shooting you a conspiratorial wink over her shoulder. Maddox turned to you with an easy and charismatic smile.

 

“Shall we?” He asked.

 

You smiled unsurely and led him to the elevator.

 

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

 

Bucky leaned casually on the railing overlooking the ground floor reception of the compound as he waited for the Black Widow. She had asked him to meet her here regarding the man he and Steve had ~~kidnapped~~ picked up for her. His attention wandered as he waited, only being picked up when a man and woman exited the elevator.

 

He straightened slightly as he saw you walk across the lobby with a man he didn’t recognise. He wasn’t spying on you if he listened in on your conversation, he couldn’t help it if he had enhanced hearing. Besides, the way you were tapping your fingers against your thigh indicated that you were nervous.

 

“The Blue Moon is one of the best clubs in New York, they have the most divine music. I think you’ll like it.” The man said to you.

 

“It does sound interesting.” You conceded.

 

“Shall I pick you up at say, seven?”

 

“I can meet you there, no sense in you driving all the way here to pick me up just to drive me back into the city.” You laughed.

 

Bucky frowned, it sounded like you were agreeing to a date with the pretentious prick.

 

“If you’re sure. I look forward to seeing you then.” The man said, pulling your hand to his lips and kissing it.

 

Bucky felt like gagging at the swarmy bastards move but to his surprise and chagrin you blushed and smiled.

 

“Well isn’t that interesting” Natasha said, sidling up beside him and watching you.

 

“Who is that she’s talking to?” Bucky demanded.

 

“Daniel Maddox, a friend of mine. I had hoped they would hit it off but I didn’t expect him to move so quickly. I only introduced them five minutes ago.” Natasha said with an amused smirk.

 

Bucky clenched his jaw in annoyance.

 

“You think she should be prancing off on a date with some stranger in the middle of everything that’s going on?” Bucky snapped.

 

“I think a little romance and normality is exactly what she needs.” Natasha said calmly, smiling as you waved goodbye to Maddox.

 

“And you think he’s right for her?” Bucky asked dubiously.

 

He had gotten bad vibes off this Maddox person and couldn’t believe Natasha was encouraging you to date somebody like that.

 

“He’s charming, well educated, rich and polite. So unless you can think of anybody more suitable for our little kitten to date…?” Natasha teased.

 

Bucky glared at her.

 

“No suggestions? Good, I think her and Daniel would make a wonderful couple.” Natasha finished.

 

“You had better hope your matchmaking doesn’t backfire Nat.” He warned.

 

“You seem very invested in this, have you thawed towards her?”

 

“She’s a brat, my concern is for everyone else. The drama that unfolds around her is exhausting.” Bucky snapped defensively.

 

“If you say so. If you’re done spying and gossiping about someone you care so little about perhaps we can get to business?” Natasha said snarkily.

 

Bucky glowered at her and gestured for her to lead the way. She strutted off confidently and Bucky followed. Glancing back in time to see you get into the elevator with an excited smile.

 

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

 

You slipped on the navy blue dress that had been waiting for you in a garment back when you got to your room, courtesy of Natasha and pinning your hair back out of your face the way Wanda had taught you, you regretfully slipped on the matching heels and gave yourself a once over in the mirror.

 

Satisfied you were ready you grabbed the clutch purse with your phone in it and left your room. You hadn’t told anyone else you were going on a date but if Natasha had gone to all this effort to plan it then you assumed she had arranged for your mandatory superhero escort.

 

As you walked down the hallway you heard a strangled sort of groan from someone behind you and whirled round to see Bucky at the other end of the hall, glaring at you like you’d just slapped him. You froze like a deer caught in the headlights.

 

“Evening Bucky.” You stammered, ducking your head nervously.

 

Last night in the kitchen Bucky had been uncharacteristically civil. Gentle even. The way he was looking at you now was anything but. You never knew where you stood with him nowadays and it was confusing. Familiar anger flared up and you threw your shoulders back and straightened your spine. Bucky Barnes and his attitude weren’t going to ruin the good mood you had going today. You turned your back on him and strode away, his eyes burning holes into your back.

 

Natasha was waiting in the elevator for you when it opened and she looked you up and down approvingly.

 

“Are you sure you want to do this Kotonok?”

 

“Absolutely.”

 

 

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

Bucky paced like a caged animal around his room, his mind whirling at a thousand miles per minute. He had been on edge all day, since he saw you with that slimeball Maddox. He had tried to convince himself it was none of his business if you wanted to date someone so clearly creepy. He had told himself he was probably being paranoid, Natasha was a good judge of character.

 

The he had seen you in the hall in that ridiculously tight dress his immediate and visceral reaction had revealed the truth he had been doing his best to contain. You had turned around and looked at him with those big shocked eyes and all the blood in his head had rushed south. He tried to say something, anything but his brain had stalled and you had glared at him and walked away.

 

Now you were on a date with some hotshot lawyer in that sinful dress and Bucky was stuck here, pacing around and trying to argue with himself that he wasn’t being a fool. He didn’t trust Maddox and his instincts were screaming at him that something was wrong.

 

It had nothing to do with how badly he had wanted you when he saw you in that hallway. He wasn’t jealous. He was worried.

 

Alright, he was jealous AND worried he conceded to himself. It didn’t mean he was wrong. He was one of the most highly trained assassins the world had ever seen and his instincts were unparalleled. If they were telling him something was wrong, then he needed to listen.

 

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

 

As soon as you had entered the upscale jazz club you had the distinct impression that something was off about the place. A waiter led you over to Daniel Maddox who was sitting in the VIP area. He politely stood when you came over and kissed your cheek.

 

“I’m so glad you could make it.” He said.

 

“I couldn’t miss this opportunity.” You told him genuinely.

 

You looked around the club, noting the dark haired woman at the bar who looked nothing like Natasha Romanov. There was one other occupied table in the cordoned off VIP area, a large man surrounded by bodyguards who was smoking a cigar and watching the gorgeous singer on the stage.

 

“This place is everything I hoped it would be.” You said happily.

 

“Would you like a drink? Perhaps a martini, they make a wonderful one here.” Daniel asked you.

 

“Whatever you recommend.” You said.

 

He waved the waiter away with your order and you noticed the odd way the waiters jacket hung. This wasn’t your usual scene and you were a little out of your depth but you were fairly certain most waiters didn’t carry guns. The corner of Natasha’s lips quirked up at the bar and you knew she knew you’d picked up on it.

 

Her eyes passed over the man in the VIP section and you settled back in your seat, taking a casual appearance. So that was your mark, that was the man who was going to lead you to Jack Docherty.

 

When Natasha had told you that she was expecting Daniel to ask you out because he was a Hydra spy you had been shocked. When she had further explained that Hydra had made a deal with Docherty to try and deliver you, you had been furious. She had given you the chance to back out and let her and the Avengers take care of it but you refused.

 

Tony was going to be enraged, most of the team were but you didn’t care. Natasha knew what taking down Docherty meant to you, as did Wanda who was waiting patiently outside for your signal, and Clint who was sitting further down the bar from Natasha.

 

The waiter returned with your drink and you thanked him kindly. Raising your glass to Daniel you clinked it with his.

 

“To a wonderful date.” You cheered.

 

“The first I hope, of many.” He added.

 

You seriously doubted that. You took a fake sip of the Martini and smiled coyly at him. You remembered what Natasha had said and began a mental countdown. If they were using the poison you thought then in about two minutes he would expect you to start feeling woozy.

 

Right on schedule you rubbed your hand over your temple and sighed.

 

“It’s a little warm in here. Would you excuse me, I need to freshen up.” You muttered groggily.

 

 

You stood up and stumbled, subtly switching your glass with his.

“Of course my dear. Are you alright?” He said amicably.

 

“I’m fine, I’m fine.” You said, waving off his concern.

 

You picked up the Martini glass and he watched with a barely concealed look of satisfaction while you drained it.

 

“Would you mind ordering me another?” You asked as you shakily walked away.

 

You noted the two waiters subtly follow you across the room as you made your way to the bathrooms and dropped your clutch, your phone inside clanging against the marble with a satisfying clunk. The program Natasha had installed immediatley sent a signal to Wanda and you picked it up, hurrying towards the bathroom with your two would be kidnappers in tow.

 

Everything was going exactly to plan until you saw the club doors open and you internally let out a string of curses when you saw who was coming through them.

 

What the fuck was Bucky doing here?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think there may be trouble on the horizon...... 
> 
> Also, I should probably update the summary for this fic. I don't think it really does a good job of explaining what this story is about.


	13. The Best Laid Plans

Between Natasha and Clint, Maddox’s plan had been simple to figure out.

 

 

Step One: Lure you away from the Avengers protection to a controlled location.

 

Natasha had presented him with the perfect opportunity and like she suspected he hadn’t wasted it, inviting you to a Jazz Club that was a front for Hydra operatives. He was unaware you weren’t able to leave the compound without an escort and was expecting you to come alone, thinking it was a harmless date.

 

Step Two: Ensure your compliance and render you harmless.

 

They would try to put you down without arousing suspicion, denying you the chance to defend yourself. Since the club was definitely under Hydra control it was safe to assume the bartender was as well. There were a limited amount of drugs that could put down a super soldier and Natasha made an educated guess as to which one they would use. You were to pretend to drink it before proceeding to the bathroom.

 

Step Three: Transport your unconscious body to a secure location where his superiors would hand you over to Docherty.

 

In the bathroom you were to feign passing out before striking, taking out the operatives who were with you. Clint and Natasha were going to handle the agents in the club while Wanda provided cover for any civilians in the club. Fury and Hill were waiting to take the civilians in, keeping them from exposing the operation to the press and simultaneously weeding out any Hydra agents posing as innocents.

 

It was beautifully and flawlessly planned, as close to foolproof as a mission could be. Then The Winter Soldier, the most recognisable man on the planet besides Captain America to a Hydra Agent strode in the doors of the club like he owned the place and everything went to shit.

 

One of the fake waiters tailing you pressed his gun to the back of your head while the other aimed his gun at Bucky. There was screaming and crashing from behind you and you assumed Natasha and Clint had jumped into action, rolling with the change of events. You met Bucky’s gaze and narrowed your eyes at him.

 

“I am going to fucking kill you.” You hissed.

 

You and Bucky were held at a stalemate, unable to defend yourselves without endangering the other and the fake waiters knew it. You however knew something they did not. Right on schedule they were both sent careening backwards by a red mist.

 

“Never bring a gun to a witch fight boys.” You deadpanned.

 

Bucky didn’t waste a second and jumped into the fray, pulling a knife and hurtling it into the shoulder of an agent before slamming the agents head into a table with a sickening crack. You turned your sights to Maddox and were vindicated to see him swaying on his feet, he had done as you hoped and drunk the drugged Martini you had switched for his.

 

You were less happy to see the large man from the VIP section heading for the back door. That was the man you needed, the one who might know where Docherty was. You kicked your heels off and grabbed the bottom of your tight dress, ripping it up the seam to give you leg room and ran after him.

 

“Barnes with me.” You yelled.

 

You didn’t bother to check on Natasha and Clint, they were probably having the time of their lives and were more than capable of looking after themselves. Wanda was executing her part of the original plan perfectly, ushering the few civilians out of the club and protecting them from stray bullets. You didn’t check if Bucky was following you as you chased after your mark, picking up a discarded gun on your way.

 

 

You burst out of the back door of the club, crouching low which was wise as a bullet hit the door frame above your head. The bang was louder than you had expected and the noise sent a jolt of pain through your temple. You aimed your stolen gun in the direction the shot had come from and pulled the trigger. Your shot missed by a few inches and you swore and you quickly peered out from behind the door.

 

Your mark was being ushered into a car at the end of the alley, fourteen agents/bodyguards between you. You felt a heat at you back and someone fired a shot into the head of one of the agents.

 

“What are you doing here Barnes?” You snarled, firing at the agents between you and your target.

 

“I knew something was off about Maddox.” He snarled back.

 

“Well you were right, he’s Hydra. The only problem is WE ALREADY KNEW THAT!” You yelled in frustration.

 

“Don’t yell at me, I’m not the idiot who agreed to a date with a known Hydra agent.” He replied, swerving to avoid a shot that would have taken his head off.

 

“Well obviously I didn’t know he was when he first asked.” You reasoned.

 

“So you _wanted_ to go on a date with that obnoxious son of a bitch?”

 

Your mark was in the car and you weren’t about to let them drive him away.

 

“Oh fuck this.” You said.

 

You ducked out of your hiding place and ran straight into the line of fire but you did it so quickly and unexpectedly that your enemies didn’t have a chance to take advantage of the clear shot. They were also perplexed by you running straight past them. They weren’t perplexed for long before The Winter soldier was on them. You pushed off from the ground and onto the wall of the alley to give yourself the necessary propellation to leap onto the roof of the car.

 

“How did you even know where we were?” You yelled back at Bucky as you shot through the roof and leaned to the side to dodge the returning shot.

 

“Don’t change the subject doll, did you want to go out with him?” He asked calmly, snapping an agents neck with ease.

 

You were sweating and panting and he was just breezing through the agents, leaving bodies in his wake without a hair out of place. You hated him more than ever in that moment. You let that hate fuel your rage as you punched down through the sunroof, shattering the glass and grabbed the collar of the high ranking hydra officer you had been hunting. You yanked the much larger man up through the shattered sunroof with ease and used your free hand to smash his jaw.

 

“Knife.” You called to Bucky and held up you hand.

 

You caught the blade he hurled to you by the handle and released your marks collar, grabbing his jaw and prising it open. The man struggled as you twirled the borrowed knife in your hand.

 

“Can’t promise I’ll be gentle.” You told him with a bloodthirsty smirk.

You manoeuvred the blade into his mouth and carefully carved out the false tooth you knew he had. Blood dripped from his mouth as he wriggled in your grasp and you pulled the tooth and cyanide capsule from his jaw.

 

“Your creator is coming for you vernichtung.” He gurgled at you hatefully.

 

“Yeah? You can tell me all about it later.” You replied, grabbing him by the back of the head and slamming his head into the roof of the car.

 

You left him hanging half out of the sunroof, his unconscious upper half spread across the roof of the car and his legs dangling inside it. You casually stepped off the roof and spun the knife in your hand, holding it out to Bucky by the handle.

 

He was looking at you strangely as he took it back.

 

“What?” You asked.

 

“You didn’t answer my question.” He said.

 

“I don’t know. Yes? If Natasha hadn’t told me he was Hydra I would have still come on the date. Why does it matter, he’s dead by now. Drank the roofie meant for me and well… he’s no super soldier.” You said without a hint of remorse.

 

Bucky scoffed in derision and you rolled your eyes.

 

“What the fuck is your problem Barnes?”

 

“You’re my problem sweetheart. You’ve been nothing but trouble since you walked into the compound and I’m tired of it.” He spat at you, looming over you.

 

“Well excuse me if I withhold my sympathy for someone who actually deserves it.” You taunted.

 

“You know what, you insolent little...”

 

Natasha cleared her throat and you both whirled round to look at her.

 

“If you two are done with your foreplay you might want to take your informant and get the hell out of here.” She told you, grinning like the cat that ate the canary.

 

“Huh?” You asked.

 

“Police are about to arrive on the scene, where witnesses just saw you very efficiently kill people. There’s a very bloody high up Hydra official behind you who knows you’re Vernichtung. So unless you want to stick around and ask Senator Stern if he’ll let you sign the accords instead of occupying a cell on the raft then you need to leave.” She elaborated.

 

“It’s a good thing you showed up when you did Barnes, she needs someone to go with her.” She added.

 

“Absolfuckinglutley not!” You yelped.

 

Bucky glared at you and strode over to your victim, pulling him from the car and tying his arms up before shoving him the boot of the car.

 

“No. I can’t do it.” You told Nat.

 

“He knows where the safe houses are and you need someone with you. We don’t have time to wait for Sam or Steve to come and take you.”

 

There was a crunching sound as Bucky ripped what you assumed was a tracker from underneath the car and crunched it underneath his boot. You sighed heavily.

 

“We don’t have time to argue. You’ll be fine.” She assured you as the sound of sirens rapidly approached.

 

“You had better take care of her Barnes.” She called before she sauntered away.

 

“Get in the car.” Bucky growled at you.

 

Your shoulders drooped as you resigned yourself to the situation. You weren’t moving quickly enough for him apparently because he strutted over to you and got up in your personal space.

 

“Get in the car or I’ll put you in the car.” He threatened.

 

“Christ Barnes, you’re such a caveman.” You said, but you did as he told you and climbed into the passenger seat.

 

Thankfully, minus the broken sunroof and bullet holes on the roof the car wasn’t in bad condition externally. It would get you away from the scene so you could switch vehicles at least. He pulled the dead driver out of the seat and dumped him into the alleyway before the two of you drove away for the most uncomfortable, awkward road trip ever.

 

 

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

 

 

A frantic Tony ran into the common room where a worried looking cluster of Avengers was standing around.

 

“Have you seen Kit Kat?” Tony asked.

 

“Have you seen Bucky?” Steve asked simultaneously.

 

They frowned at each other.

 

“Wanda is also missing.” Vision helpfully interjected.

 

“Clint and Nat aren’t here either.” Sam noted.

 

“Friday said Kit Kat wasn’t on the premises.” Tony frowned.

 

“I have located Miss Stark’s cellphone Boss, it’s in the city. Multiple news reports are coming in from the same location.” Friday supplied.

 

The TV switched on and the remaining Avengers shared similar looks of dread and worry.

 

“Suit up.” Steve said, taking charge of the situation.

 

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

 

Two car changes, four hours later and not a single word said between you and Bucky and you were at the safe house. It was the middle of the night, it was pouring rain and you were in the worst mood. Bucky slipped from the car and went to check the safe house to ensure it was in fact safe and you leaned your head against the passenger window with a sigh and watched the raindrops roll down it.

 

You’d had to flee the city, flee from Tony and your friends, you were about to interrogate someone and you were stuck with Bucky Barnes. The same Bucky who over the last week alone had insulted you, belittled you, physically fought with you, rescued you, seen you become Vernichtung and followed you on a date to protect you.

 

You were wound up tightly like a coil waiting to snap. As angry as you were at Tony for not telling you Docherty was working with Hydra you felt bad for just disappearing. It had been an emotionally exhausting week and it was beginning to take it’s toll on you.

 

Bucky returned, pulling your kidnappee from the boot and carrying him into the house. You unbuckled your seatbelt slowly and noted that your body was aching now that the adrenaline had worn off. You opened the car door and flinched when Bucky’s form suddenly appeared in front of you. He reached in to grab you and you leaned back with an alarmed expression.

 

“What are you doing?” You asked.

 

“You kicked your shoes off in the club. You’re barefoot and it’s a gravel driveway.” He said.

 

“So your going to what, carry me inside? I can handle a bit of gravel Bucky, just move.” You muttered tiredly, pushing him out of the way.

 

“Why do you have to be so fucking stubborn.” He snapped.

 

“Why do you have to be so bipolar?” You snapped back.

 

“What the hell does that mean?” He asked, slamming the car door shut.

 

“It means that last night you were getting cosy with me in the kitchen and today you’re back to snapping at me like I’m your worst enemy.” You said, throwing your hands in the air in exasperation.

 

“Maybe I’m angry with you right now because you put yourself in danger to settle a vendetta.”

 

“Really? That’s what you’re going with? Let me ask you something _Soldat_. If Zola was still alive, what would you do?” You demanded.

 

“I’d do my best to remember the difference between Justice and Revenge.” He warned.

 

You bit your lip as you mulled that over.

 

“There isn’t any justice for the things Docherty has done. If I wanted revenge I would kill him slowly. But I can kill him and put an end to his reign of misery.” You said.

 

“What you are, what he made you, It isn’t your fault. Killing him would just make you into what he wanted you to be and it would be your own fault, not his. It won’t change what he did to you, it won’t take away the monster inside of you.”

 

You recoiled from him, anger and shock clouding your features.

 

“I’m well aware of what I am, that I’m a monster. I don’t need you to remind me.”

 

“Don’t twist my words.” He snapped bitterly.

 

“You’ve told me what you think I am so many times so I’m hardly twisting anything.”

 

He looked torn and angry as he stood there, rain soaking through his hair and running down his face.

 

“I was wrong. You’re not a monster, not even close to one doll.”

 

“What?” You whispered.

 

“You want to know what I would do if Zola was alive? I would hunt him down and kill him. But I AM a monster. I can’t let you become one, not after you fought so fucking hard your whole life against it. I won’t let you be like me.”

 

“Be like you?”

 

He ran his fingers through his hair and looked up at the sky like he was looking to the heavens for strength. His eyes were wild and desperate as he yelled at you.

 

“You didn’t give in. You didn’t let them turn you into a killer. You’re better than me!”

 

“You utter fucking idiot. How dare you! I didn’t give in because I knew what they were! I knew what they wanted me to be! They never fed me lies like they did to you, they never told me ‘My work was a gift to mankind’. You screamed at him.

 

He froze up, shock overtaking him.

 

“Yeah i read your file. You wanna know the fucked up truth? You were the reason I wanted to join The Avengers, because I wanted to be like you. I wanted to take all the bad things they put in me and use it for good, like you were doing.”

 

“Doll, I...” He didn’t know what to say.

 

“Then I met you, and you were such an asshole. I guess that’s why they say you should never meet your idols.”

 

You stormed past him and into the house, leaving him shocked to his core as the rain beat down on him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that happened. 
> 
> I also post this story on Tumblr if you're on that. You can find it at https://the--sad--hatter.tumblr.com/


	14. Safe as Houses

By the time the rest of The Avengers arrived at the Blue Moon the fight was over. Tony landed on the sidewalk outside the club, amongst the police cars and officers and ignored them all, heading straight over to Natasha and Clint. 

“Where is my daughter?” Tony demanded. 

“Safe.” Natasha said with a placating tone. 

“Good but not what I asked.” 

“She’s not here, she left.” Clint said. 

“Don’t fuck with me Barton, where the hell is my daughter.” 

“We’re telling you all we can tell you Stark. she’s safe and she’s not here.”

Tony was rightfully agitated. 

“She was here on a date, he turned out to be Hydra. We were forced to fight back and we got her out, she’s gone dark for her own safety. That’s all you can know Tony.” Natasha explained. 

“Why is that all I can know, this is MY kid we’re talking about.” He protested furiously.

“Because of the accords.” Wanda cut in. 

Tony looked between the three of them scornfully. 

“What is really going on here?” He asked. 

“She knows Docherty is working with Hydra Tony.” Natasha revealed. 

“And how does she know that?” 

“I told her.” Natasha said simply. 

“What the hell gave you the right to tell her that?” He snarled. 

“What gave you the right to keep it from her?” Natasha rebutted. 

“You know there are things she can’t know about!” 

“This isn’t one of them. This is something she had to know about, she was going to go after him with or without our help and if I didn’t tell her then she would have walked into a trap.” Natasha said carefully. 

“So you told her the man she hates most is hunting her and you did what, helped her honey trap a Hydra agent? Great plan Romanov.” He barked furiously. 

“You, Docherty and Hydra all have something in common Stark. You all underestimate her. Vernichtung is not the only part of her that makes her dangerous. She is capable of saving herself and if you don’t allow her to do just that you’ll only push her away.” Wanda snapped. 

“You two need to stop projecting your own issues onto her.” Tony yelled, gesturing between Wanda and Natasha. 

“I think perhaps you need to accept that while you may love her more than anyone else could you do not understand her the best.” Wanda returned. 

“What I do understand is you three orchestrated a mission that was unsanctioned by The UN without clearing it with me or Cap and now my daughter is out there, alone.” 

Natasha, Wanda and Clint shared innocent looks. 

“Like Nat said, She was here on a date, he turned out to be Hydra. We were forced to fight back and we got her out, she’s gone dark for her own safety.” Clint said. 

“And she’s not alone, Barnes is with her.” Natasha added. 

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

 

The safehouse was actually a converted warehouse. It had a large kitchen/living area and a locked off basement where you assumed Bucky had stashed your prisoner. You wandered upstairs and found the bedrooms. Halfway down the hallway you realised you’d been leaving little pink footprints behind you. 

Your feet were scratched to hell and you grumbled as you searched the en-suite of the biggest bedroom for a first aid kit. You rinsed your feet off and thankfully there were no deep cuts so you decided against bandaging them. So long as you didn’t go outside barefoot again they wouldn’t start bleeding again. 

Once that was taken care of you started hunting for clothes. You hadn’t exactly prepared for this impromptu trip but to your surprise and suspicion there was a black gym back with your name on it in the bottom of the closet. There was also one with Natasha’s name on it. She must have prepared this place in case of emergencies. 

You dug through the bag and found a bunch of plain back clothing in your general size, as well as a pair of combat boots and some toiletries. Natasha didn’t generally do things by half, and you were fairly certain she wouldn’t have packed you a bag without putting in your exact shampoo brands. You suspected that there was a to go bag for all the Avengers in the various rooms. So who would go to all this trouble and make sure everyone had supplies? 

 

Bucky stormed into the room behind you without knocking. 

“You can’t just throw out something like that and then walk off.” He protested.

“I’m not in the mood to talk out our issues, I want to torture that man downstairs for information. First, I’m going to get this stupid dress off.” 

“That’s not going to happen. I’ll be doing that.” 

“I beg your pardon?”

Bucky had the good grace to blush. 

“The torturing, I’ll be doing the torturing.” He quickly amended. 

“I caught him, he’s after me.” 

“Have you ever actually tortured anyone?” 

“Well no, but everyone’s got to start somewhere.” 

“No, actually they don’t. Not everybody and certainly not you.” He said firmly. 

“Because I’m a paragon of innocence...” You said bitterly. 

“Even as Vernichtung you have only ever killed Hydra agents. You’ve never spilt innocent blood.”

“That man down there is not innocent Bucky, he’s a Nazi overlord wannabe.” You pointed out. 

“There’s a difference between taking somebody out and purposely inflicting pain on them.” 

“So you don’t think I can handle it, that’s it?” 

“I think you don’t have to. You admire me for using the bad in past to do good, don’t start trying to take away my opportunities to do just that.” He said cockily. 

You narrowed your eyes in annoyance. It hadn’t taken him more than half an hour to throw your little confession back in your face. 

“Get the fuck out and go do your little Soviet Assassin act. See if I care.” You snapped at him. 

“I will, but we are going to finish this conversation later.” he warned you before he left. 

You cocked your head and listened to him go into another room and start rummaging. You quickly pulled the soaking wet, ruined dress of and slipped into a pair of jeans and a shirt. You had to move quickly. Slipping out of the room you ran to the stairs when Bucky opened his door and poked his head out. 

“What are you doing?” He said suspiciously. 

You looked back at him smugly and grabbed the bannister, vaulting over it and landing softly on the main floor. You heard bucky swear and call your name as you ran over to the basement door. At the bottom of the stairs there was, as you had suspected, a large metal door. You rushed towards it, sliding it open and you saw Bucky’s furious expression only a few feet behind you as you slammed it shut on him. You quickly barred it shut as his metal fist slammed into it. 

“Open this fucking door right now!” He yelled. 

You ignored him and sauntered over to your prisoner who had been dumped in a metal chair and handcuffed to it and gagged. He was awake and glaring at you hatefully. You slipped your finger under the gag and pulled it down. Placing yourself behind him you leaned down and whispered in his ear.   
“I have some questions for you before my acquaintance breaks down that door, and neither of us want him to hear what you have to say do we?”

“And why is that?” He spat. 

“Because when you tell me where Docherty is, and you will… We don’t want the Avengers accompanying me to the reunion do we?” 

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Steve caught Natasha’s arm and dragged her away from the centre of the room where Tony was yelling. 

“You have ten seconds to explain to me why I shouldn’t tell Tony I just got an alert that someone just used the security code to enter my safehouse.” He told her. 

“Barnes will call if he needs you, until then you should let them figure things out alone. And if you were going to tell Tony, you already would have.” She smirked. 

“What game are you playing at Natasha? Unsanctioned missions, going behind my back, sending her away? What’s your end goal?”

“I want to give the Kotonok what she wants. She wants the same thing you always did. To put an end to the bullies. Docherty is the biggest bully there is and she needs to be able to face him.”

“I’m smart enough to know you’re manipulating me Natasha.” He warned. 

“Of course I am, but that doesn’t change the fact it’s also true. You trust Barnes more than anybody, trust him to help her. She needs him with her on this but she doesn’t need us. We’ll only get in the way.” 

“If this blows up on us...”

“It probably will. Things aren’t going to be simple but the end result is all that matters.” 

“They have twelve hours and then I’m telling Stark.” 

“That should be more than enough.” She conceded. 

He clenched his jaw and nodded, walking away. 

“Hey Cap?” She called. 

He turned back and looked at her expectantly. 

“Thank you for trusting me with this.” 

“Consider it payback for all the times you’ve had my back.” he told her with a fond smile. 

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

 

When he kicked the door down the first thing he saw was you standing at the side of the room. There was a table covered in sharp objects and medical supplies in front of you. Torture supplies, drugs to make them weaker or more compliant, bladed and scalpels to make them bleed. Thankfully the prisoner was where he had left him, unharmed. 

“I can’t. I don’t want to. You were right.” You told him as you rushed past him and up the stairs. 

He followed, propping the broken door back into place and found you stood in the middle of the space, looking lost.

“It’s not a sin to have compassion. Not being able to torture somebody doesn’t make you weak.” He said softly. 

“You were wrong. When you said I’d never spilled innocent blood.” You whispered. 

Bucky didn’t say anything, he had a feeling silence and listening would serve him better in this situation. 

“I think I killed my mother. She died the day I was born so...” You wiped away a traitorous tear. 

He was surprised to learn you had a mother, but it made a certain amount of sense. Docherty wanted you to be a weapon, not a person. 

“It doesn’t mean she died giving birth, for all you know Docherty had her terminated once he had what he wanted from her.” As soon as he said it he winced. 

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” You snapped. 

“It was but I’m not great at comforting people anymore.” He admitted.

Maybe once he would have known how to handle this situation. Then again how was he supposed to make the woman he could barely admit to himself he didn’t actually hate feel better about something like this?

“How do you think I learned how to fight? By practising. I never killed anybody but I still fought them, because he made me. That’s what I told myself. But I stood up to him when he tried to make me a killer, no matter what he did I said no. I was capable of saying no. But I still hurt them, to save myself a bit of pain.” You hung your head in shame. 

“You’re right, you could have said no. Then he would have probably killed them himself anyway, or worse. There wasn’t a right decision to be made, you did the best you could with what you had and you did better than most people could have done.” He told you honestly. 

“Stop trying to justify it. You can’t.” 

“I’m not. You’ve done horrible things and had horrible things done to you. You’re capable of much worse and unless you hold yourself back you could create untold chaos. You aren’t a monster but you easily could be. Those are just the facts.” He said plainly. 

You looked up at him then, confusion and hurt flickering across your face. 

“I’m not going to walk on eggshells around you or treat you like some perfect little princess like everybody else does. But don’t expect me to see you as a monster just because that’s how you see yourself.” He decreed. 

“That monster is real, It’s inside me all the time. My mind is like quicksand and unless I fight it I’ll get pulled under and lost while it runs free. Hundreds of people died screaming, alone and in pain so he could create that monster and he’ll do anything to set it loose on the world. If killing him turns me into a monster, at least it’s not the one he created.” You told him.

“You’re really willing to become that person, one consumed with vengeance, to kill him?”

“I have too. It’s justice.” 

“Doesn’t make it right.”

“You are aware that you sound like a hypocrite right? You’re treating me the same way the rest of them do, just in your own harsh, mean way. You’re trying to protect me.” You pointed out. 

“Yes, I am, because I’m afraid for you. If you find him, if you manage to survive it and you get to him then killing him won’t fill that void inside you. It won’t take away that pain. No amount of killing will.” 

“So what do I do?” 

“You work with us, you let us help you find him. We bring him to justice, throw him in a cell and leave him to rot. And you keep going, keep living.” He said. 

“You’re not going to let me kill him are you?” You asked sadly. 

“You’ll thank me one day doll.” 

“No, I won’t.” Your voice was hard and your stance changed, you back straightening. 

Realisation dawned on him. 

“You know where Docherty is don’t you?” He asked. 

“I do.” You confirmed. 

 

Bucky sighed. He wasn’t going to let you walk out of that door and you knew it. 

“Don’t do this.” He pleaded. 

“Don’t make me.” You rebutted. 

You carefully edged away from him, towards the front door and he followed. You threw yourself to the side and made a run for it and he leapt after you, grabbing your arm and pulling you back. You tried to throw your elbow back and into his face but he ducked, wrapping his metal arm around your waist and holding you against his chest. 

“We can fight if you want sweetheart but I won’t be holding back and you’ll lose. I have 70 years of training on you.” 

“You spent most of that in a freezer.” You sputtered, digging your heel into his shin and throwing yourself forwards with all your bodyweight. 

Bucky’s metal arm didn’t let up and all you succeeded in was wriggling a few inches away. He chuckled at your attempts and he started dragging you backwards, towards the basement. 

“Stop struggling. I’m not letting you go.” 

“You don’t have a choice.” 

Your hands fumbled at his belt for a brief second and you shoved a stolen knife into his shoulder blade, just past the metal. He grunted in pain and released you. He looked at the knife in shock and back to your semi guilty expression. You hadn’t stabbed him deeply, just enough to make him release you and it would probably heal quite quickly but you had still stabbed him. 

“You are going to pay for that.” He warned and slammed into you. 

Your body crashed into the wall cracking the plaster and he wrapped his flesh hand around your throat, holding you there. Your feet were dangling off the ground as you struggled for air. You got one of your legs between your bodies and pushed, forcing him to stumble back. You landed lightly on your feet and punched where you had shoved him away with your foot, right in the solar plexus. 

Now both of you were struggling for breath. 

“Are you really going to beat the hell out of me just to stop me leaving?” You asked. 

“Only if you’re going to beat the hell out of me to get away.” He returned. 

You growled and struck out, aiming for his face and he ducked under your arm and grabbed it and twisted. You’re back was against his chest again and you threw your head back, the back of your skull connecting with the stab wound in his shoulder. He winced but didn’t let you go. He grabbed your other arm and held it still lest you try and steal another weapon from him. 

You wriggled and struggled against him, further twisting your own arm dangerously. He would either have to let you go or he was going to snap your arm. 

“Stop it, you’re going to hurt yourself.” He admonished. 

“I’m willing to bet you’ll back down before I do.” You taunted. 

You purposely twisted your arm in his grasp, pushing it round behind your back at an obscene angle and he could feel the bones creak. He released you and you spun round, your fist cracking into his face. He could feel the bruise start to form straight away and knew that he would have a hell of a black eye. He grabbed your wrists in his hands and strode forward, bodily pushing you against the wall. He trapped your legs by pushing his hips against you. 

“ENOUGH.” He roared. 

Hurting him was one thing but you were willing to hurt yourself to get away. He ground his teeth as he glared down at you. Your breath was laboured and your chest was heaving as you glared back at him. 

“That’s enough.” He repeated, quieter this time but just as furiously. 

His blood was boiling as he saw you narrow your eyes at him and open your mouth to respond and something came over him, something that consumed him and all his inhibitions. He leaned his head down and fiercely pushed his lips against yours. 

There was nothing tender or affectionate about it as he pressed his body into yours further, his grip on your wrists tightening almost painfully. He poured every ounce of rage and hatred into the kiss and took every bit you poured back. Your lips were sinfully soft as he took the bottom one between his teeth and nipped, sucking the sharp pain away when you gasped. He could feel the heat of your skin against his own burning flesh and it was a wonder the two of you didn’t combust as he released your wrists so he could tangle his fingers in your hair, pulling your head back and giving him better access. 

He felt your fingertips brush across his chest as it travelled up and you wrapped one arm around the back of his neck and he groaned into your mouth at the sensation of you holding him tightly. Every one of his senses was overwhelmed by you, the smell of your hair, the feel of your flesh and the taste of your mouth against his. He should have been wondering where your other arm was. There was a sharp pinching sensation in his thigh he ignored until he stumbled backwards, his head spinning and his vision flickering. He looked down blearily to see you holding a syringe. 

You’d slipped one into your pocket in the basement and waited for the opportunity to use it on him so you could make your escape he realised. The last thing he saw as he fell to the ground was your tears as you caught him, lowering him gently. His eyes closed and he heard your voice echoing through the darkness swiftly over taking him. 

“I’m so sorry James.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know you probably want to kill me after this chapter but you don't know where I am. HA! 
> 
> Just to be safe though, I am going into hiding now.


	15. Free as a Bird

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is super long and not for the faint of heart.

Bucky woke up groggily, unsure of what was going on. It came back to him in flashes, her fighting him, driving a knife into his shoulder, his hand around her throat and then… His lips pressed against hers, her warm soft body pushed against him. She had drugged him. He had kissed her and she had drugged him.

  


So she could go after Docherty alone.

  


He frantically pulled himself to his feet and strode down into the basement. The prisoner was still there, still alive. Why hadn’t she taken him or at least killed him? He ripped the mans gag off and snarled at him.

  


“Where is she?”

  


“Where is who Soldat?”

  


“If you know who I am then you know what I am capable of. You know you will tell me what I need to know.” Bucky said, feeling his expression go cold and blank.

  


“I can not tell you what I don’t know. Docherty was very careful not to tell anyone exactly where he was.”

  


“Tell me what you told her.” Bucky demanded flatly.

  


“I told her what I was instructed to tell her should she ever ask. He knows her well, better than you ever could. He knew she would not risk bringing any of you to him.”

  


“Tell. Me. What. You. Told. Her.”

  


“She will find Docherty where he found her.”

  


  


\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

  


  


As soon as Steve answered the phone Bucky spoke.

  


“She’s gone Steve, she got the drop on me, knocked me out and went after Docherty alone.”

  


“Shit.”

  


Steve put the phone on loudspeaker with an apologetic look at Tony.

  


“Where is she going?” Steve asked.

  


“I don’t know.”

  
“Wait where is who going?” Tony asked with an expression that said he clearly knew exactly what they were talking about but was desperately hoping he was wrong.

  


“She spoke to the prisoner alone, can’t have been for more than a few minutes but it was enough for her to find out where Docherty was. I tried to stop her leaving but she drugged me, when I woke up she was gone.” Bucky admitted.

  


“What prisoner?” Sam demanded.

  


“Forgot to mention that part, sorry.” Natasha said.

  


“Not important. Did he tell you where she’s heading?” Tony demanded frantically.

  


“No, he...”

  


“Then make him tell you Barnes, all those years as a Hydra assassin should count for something.” Tony snapped.

  


“He doesn’t know where she is. He told her she would find Docherty where Docherty found her.”

  


“What? He didn’t find her, he made her.” Sam remarked quizzicaly.

  


“When she escaped the first time, he found her. That’s where he is.” Tony said and shot to his feet.

  


“What?”

  


“Beg your pardon?”

  


“The first time?”

  


“I’m afraid I do not understand.”

  


“It’s a long, frankly tragic story. Friday do a search for all the churches in a four hundred mile radius of the facility we found her. Look for fires in the church, 12 years ago.” Tony instructed.

  


“She has a head start on us but she doesn’t know exactly where she’s going, just the general direction.” Tony informed them.

  


“There’s something else, something the prisoner said to taunt me.” Bucky interjected.

  


“I know why Docherty went to Hydra, if not why they agreed. He wants to put her in the chair. If they wipe her memories, she’ll be gone. And Vernichtung will be all that’s left.”

  


  


  


\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

  


You trecked through the woods as quickly as you were able, which wasn’t that quickly seeing as you didn’t know exactly where you were going. It was somewhere in this vicinity, you were sure of that. You had to get to the Church, to Docherty before anyone discovered where you were.

  


They didn’t know Docherty the way you did. Reading reports on him couldn’t make them see the true depths of his depravity and if you could help it, they would never find out just how monstrous he really was.

  


Going after him alone was a risk and one that could backfire but it was necessary. You couldn’t take them with you into this fight, Bucky especially. Not when Hydra was also involved, not after that kiss. Your fingertips brushed your lips as you remembered it.

  


It had been your first kiss but you knew deep in your soul that a kiss wasn’t always so passionate, that it had been special. There was always anger and hatred between the two of you, even when he pressed his lips to yours but what you hadn’t ever realised was there was desire running just under the surface of that hatred, fuelling it.

  


Now you would be lucky if there was even space in Bucky’s heart to hate you. When you had taken that syringe you hadn’t wanted to use it. When you were fighting you had held back, hoping he would let you go or you could break free but then you knew it was your last resort. It had been one of the hardest things you had ever done, jabbing the needle into his thigh. He would never forgive you and you didn’t blame him, but at least he was safe and you were free to do what needed to be done.

  


The tree’s around you grew more and more familiar and you stopped, looking around. This place was burned into your memory, even the smell of the woods was triggering. It had been over a decade but the things that had happened in these woods had left a mark on your soul. You turned and walked in the right direction as your mind wandered back to the journey that had led you here.

  


  


  


_The buzzing from the electricity running through the bars of your cell had been your companion in this lonely room for as long as you could remember so the absence of the sound was immediately noticeable. Your ears prickled as you listened intently for the curiously missing noise. The guards in the corridors were talking about something called ‘The Big Game’ and seemed unaware something was wrong._

  


_Carefully so as not to alert the camera’s you stretched your leg out and hesitantly let your toe brush against to bars. Nothing. Adrenaline flooded through you. No electricity meant you could possibly try and break the door and make an escape. But you would have to be fast. If you were fast you could make it out before the guards had time to gather and stop you._

  


_You counted to three under your breath and leapt into action. You grabbed the bars on the door and pulled with every ounce of strength you possessed. You felt like you were going to tear your arms from your sockets but you didn’t relent and your efforts paid off when the door gave way. You didn’t waste a second and ran, and kept running. You made your way through the facility without any hindrance until the main door._

  


_There were six people there, all armed. They fired on sight, aiming for your limbs to incapacitate you but freedom was so close and you couldn’t stop now. You ignored the sharp sting of the bullets and ran, not for the door but the window. You didn’t slow down as you hurtled towards it and you ran through it with an almighty crash, landing on the broken glass outside._

  


_There was air here, cool air. It was fresh and moving and blissful. A bubble of disbelieving laughter broke from your lips as a deafening klaxon sounded. You kept moving, heading for the trees. You didn’t take the time to marvel at them and pushed yourself forwards, away from that hell._

  


_You ran, and ran, and ran. You pushed yourself harder than you thought possible, until the sounds of the pursuing guards was too far behind you to hear and then you kept running. You ran all through the day and through the night, even as you were awed by the sight of the moon that for the first time wasn’t hindered by a dirty pane of glass. It was well into the next day, when you had been slowed to a crawl that you finally stopped. Well, you collapsed._

  


_You lay on the floor of the forest surrounding you, broken, bleeding, shot and exhausted but you had never been happier. You were free._

  


  


  


\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

  


  


Friday had located the church and they all piled onto the jet. As soon as they were in the air Steve turned to Tony.

  


“Why didn’t you tell us she’d escaped once before?” Steve asked him.

  


“It wasn’t pertinent information.”

  


“It’s pertinent now, what else is in her files that you ‘redacted’?” Steve pressed.

  


“Do I know your whole life story? Or Nat’s? Hell for years we didn’t know Barton had a secret family and a farm.”

  


“That’s the point of a ‘secret’ family Stark, nobody was supposed to know.” Clint pointed out.

  


“Her whole life is documented in those files. I figured she deserved some privacy. If she wanted anyone to know then it should have been her choice.” Tony said.

  


“I believe it was a noble idea, however Miss Stark is not a normal young woman.” Vision said diplomatically.

  


“She deserves the chance to try and be one though Vis.” Wanda argued.

  


“Yes, exactly, thank you.” Tony said.

  


“Nobody is arguing that she doesn’t deserve privacy or normalcy, we’re asking if there’s anything else you haven’t told us that might be important.” Steve cut in.

  


“Captain, I have the UN on the line. You might want to take this.” Friday informed them.

  


Steve took the call with a stony expression. He hung up after a few short minutes.

  


“Hydra agents just took over a small town in Canada. They’re holding the townspeople hostage but haven’t made any demands.” He said.

  


“They are trying to divide and conquer us, split our focus.” Thor summarised.

  


“I’m going to get my kid.” Tony said without hesitation.

  


“Tony, maybe you shouldn’t. They’ll be expecting you to go to her.” Steve pointed out.

  


Tony rounded on him with a furious expression.

  


“Capsicle if you think I’m going to abandon her...”

  


“Of course not, but think about it logically. They’ll know we have to split up. Docherty will be expecting you to go to him, he won’t expect you to go to Canada.” Natasha reasoned.

  


“Good, because I’m not going to Canada. I’m going to go and annihilate him for everything he did to her. Besides, you’ll need the jet now. I can fly from here.”

  


“As can I my friend, allow me to go in your stead. You have my word I will keep your kin safe and deliver the villain to you so you may extract your revenge.” Thor offered.

  


“They won’t be expecting Thor, and Bucky is already en route. He’s not that far behind her.” Steve tried to convince Tony.

  


Tony had never had to make such a difficult decision.

  


“If Docherty is expecting you then he must be prepared for you. Perhaps your daughters best chance to win this fight isn’t with you by her side.” Vision reasoned.

  


Tony had an ego, that was common knowledge. What the team understood though, was that Tony would easily set it aside for someone he cared about.

  


“Fine, Thunderbuddy go get my kid. And tell her she’s grounded.” He conceded.

  


\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The Church was close by, you could feel it. You slowed down as you drew nearer, you knew there would be some kind of trap and you couldn’t go rushing into it. You looked around carefully and despite all the pain that lay here for you, in the past and in the future you smiled. There was a bird in the tree above you and you watched as it spread it’s wings and flew away. Free.

  


“ _Eat your oatmeal child.” Sister Berta scolded you._

_You ducked your head and did as she asked. The nuns had found you in the woods three months ago, bleeding out and carried you back to the small church deep in the heart of the forest. You had been frantic when you awoke, terrified you had been found but they had been calm and kind. They told you to leave if you wanted but urged you to stay until you were better._

  


_You didn’t speak to them, you didn’t know what to say. They didn’t seem to mind, just went about their business and occasionally checked on you. You would pounce from rafter to rafter on the ceiling and watch as they knelt at the large wooden cross and talked to the man on it. They said it was called praying, that he was their lord and saviour. They asked you to join them sometimes and you did, even if you didn’t understand. They gave you The Bible and you dutifully read through it, not sure what it all meant._

  


_They were nothing like the people where you had come from, they didn’t want to hurt you or make you hurt anyone else. They seemed perfectly content to let you be, sometimes looking at you in wonder when you leapt a tall tree or carried something heavy for them. You tried to repay their kindness as best you could, taking over as many chores as you were able._

  


_There was one man there, only a few years older than you. He stayed out of your way most of the time, only smiling when he saw you and ‘blessing you’ whenever he could with an amused grin. He always wore a white collar and all the sisters called him Father, even the ones older than him. You didn’t think it so strange, you figured it was what normal must be like._

  


_It was after you ate your oatmeal like Sister Berta had told you that you went outside into the woods, still marvelling that you could do that. A rustling in the brush caught your attention and you carefully crept over to it. There was a bird, tangled up in a vine. You felt The Father watching you from a distance as you carefully reached for it. He was harmless and you let him observe as you made soothing shushing noises to the frantic creature, untangling it from the vine. As soon as it was free it spread it’s wings and shook them, flying away._

  


_You watched it go with a sense of pride, and hopefulness. A few seconds later you learned that freedom was just an illusion. A high pitched ringing noise assaulted your senses and you fell to you knees with a cry. When it finally eased you were surrounded._

  


_Guards all around you were aiming their guns at you. And the sisters. They were standing there, cold impassioned looks on their faces, their own weapons aimed at you._

  


“ _Bring her to him.” The Father demanded._

  


_When they grabbed you and dragged you to your feet you didn’t fight back. There was no point._

  


\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

  


The church, once a shining beacon of hope and freedom loomed before you now, a temple of despair. Had Tony found you before you had been to this place perhaps you would have trusted him sooner, instead of being so skittish and making it difficult for him. But that was what Docherty did, he took anything good in the world and broke it. People were playthings to him and humanity meant nothing if they weren’t suffering.

  


_They threw you to the ground behind him, your tormentor, your keeper, your master. He gazed out at the scenic views of the woods with a serene expression._

  


“ _I have missed you Vernichtung, the facility has been empty without your screams.”_

  


“ _Why did you do this?” You whispered brokenly._

  


“ _To teach you. Hope is not real, it is only a weapon you can use to destroy someone.”_

  


“ _Why do you want to break me? Why are you doing this?”_

  


“ _Because humanity is the greatest mistake ever made. People are vile creatures, a blight upon the earth. The only thing they can do without messing it up is hurt each other. Hurting them is my only goal and you are the weapon I choose. I could use a virus or a plague but that would be easy and not very poetic. You are a fitting choice, a monster with a human face. Just like they are. Only you are so much more destructive.”_

  


“ _I won’t do it. You can’t make me.”_

  


“ _Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow. But I will hurt you in worse ways than this Vernichtung. There is much pain in your future and you will break eventually. Between you and me though, I hope you last a while. I have so many ideas for how to make you suffer.”_

 

_And make you suffer he did, and until Tony you never dared to have hope again._

  


And now the time had come for you to make him suffer, to make him pay. The area was suspiciously devoid of life, silent as a tomb but he had to be here. He had to be.

  


“Perimeters clear.” Bucky called to you and you whirled around, pulling one of the guns you had taken from the safehouse from it’s holster.

  


He was standing quite a distance away from you and your breath caught in your chest at the sight of him.

  


“Seeing as you didn’t even bother to check.” He added as he strode towards you,

  


His face was devoid of any kind of emotion as he glanced around, his stance alert and prepared.

  


“Why, How are you here?” You demanded.

  


“Well after I woke up I phoned Tony. He figured out where you were.”

  


“Please tell me Tony isn’t here.” You begged.

  


“Tony isn’t here.”

  


“Bucky, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

  


“I don’t care.”

  


There was a thud behind you and you turned, gun raised to see Thor.

  


“The temple and surrounding area appears to be empty.” He told Bucky.

  


“I am to inform you that you are grounded.” He said turning to you.

  


You sighed. This wasn’t going well at all.

  


“So he isn’t here?” Bucky asked.

  


“Someone is here.” You said.

  


You could hear them shuffling behind the alter in the Church. Carefully you crept over, rounding the pew with your gun aimed carefully and you frowned. There was a woman curled up on the floor, her head pressed to her knees. She was shaking.

  


“Who are you?” You asked harshly.

  


Her head jerked up at the sound of your voice and you gasped. Her eyes were running with blood, her face gaunt and sickly. She looked familiar, eerily so. Her eyes frantically darted around, blood streaming from them.

  


“He said she’d be here.” She rasped out, her voice sounding wet and you quickly garnered why as she coughed, blood spraying from her lips.

  


“He said who would be here?” You demanded.

  


“You need to leave, now.” Bucky said from behind you.

  


“She can’t, look at her. She’s dying.” You pointed out.

  


“No. YOU need to leave. I’m sorry but you do.” He said.

  


“No, it is best she stays for this.” Thor argued softly and you chanced a look behind you to them.

  


They both looked wrecked as they looked at the woman. Thor tried to approach her but she freaked, shuffling backwards.

  


“Do you know her?” You asked them.

  


“Look at her, little one. Really look at her.” Thor urged you.

  


You did. She was terrified so you took a risk and holstered the gun. You put your hands up and crouched down, slowly inching towards her.

  


“She’s supposed to be here, he said she was here” The woman frantically muttered.

  


“Who’s supposed to be here?” you pressed.

  


Her blood rimmed eyes shot towards yours and it finally clicked. Why she looked so familiar. Her face was the same one you saw in the mirror every day, only older.

  


“You’re supposed to be dead.” You breathed out in shock.

  


“He took my baby but he said I’d find her here.!”

  


“Oh my God. But you’re dead!”

  


Your mother wasn’t dead, she was in front of you, dying now. You fell forwards, grabbing her. The blood was running from her nose and eyes and you could hear it gathering in her lungs. She had been poisoned and you knew that if there was a cure you would never find it in time but logic had flown out the window the second you realised who she was.

  


“Help her.” You shakily begged the two men behind you.

  


Bucky was on his phone, shouting at someone and Thor was looking down at you sadly.

  


“Your eyes..” She whispered as the last of her strength left her and she fell forward against you.

  


You gathered her in your arms as you tried to think of something, anything that could save her.

  


“You have my eyes.” She muttered as her own began to flutter shut.

  


“No, no stay awake. Mom, it’s me I’m here. I’m here ok. It’s me. Stay. Please. Stay.” You begged.

  


“Please find my baby.” She asked weakly.

  


“Your name. What’s your name?” You asked desperately.

  


“Subject 74 – B/F.” She whispered.

  


And then she was gone. You heard the absence of her heartbeat as the life left her eyes and a cold numbness spread through you as you held your mother in your arms.

 

Docherty had lied in her records, he had kept her alive all these years so he could kill her now in the cruelest way possible. The message was clear, he still had ways to make you suffer. 

 

You felt cool metal brush against your back and looked up at Bucky. 

 

"She was my mother." 

 

"I know."

 

"She's dead." 

 

He sunk to his knees and tenderly brushed a tear from your face. You hadn't noticed you were crying. 

 

"I'm so sorry." He said softly. 

 

A sob ripped itself from your chest and you tried to contain it but it was too late. You broke apart as Bucky's arms circled around you. 

 

And so in that little church that had once meant hope and now meant death you wept as Bucky held you. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have I lost you yet? Be honest, I can take it.


	16. The Circle Of Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As an apology for the emotional turmoil I've put you through so far, here is a super long chapter of fluffy, cheesy goodness. I hope this buys your forgivness.

The next few days passed by in a blur for you. You hadn’t cried once since Thor had gently pried your mother away from you and carefully placed her in the back of a car, as soon as she was out of sight you had felt a numbness in the centre of your heart spread through you and it had yet to go away. Thor had made a convoluted and intense vow to watch over your mother for you until she was laid to rest and you distinctly remembered thinking that you should be grateful but you had only nodded.

  


The whole drive away from the church you were dimly aware of Bucky reaching over from the drivers seat between gear changes to take your hand and utter soothing platitudes to you. When he had pulled over and you saw the quinjet you didn’t react in any way until Tony opened your car door and pulled you into his arms. You saw Thor, carefully move your mothers body that was wrapped in his cape and turned your head away, burying it in Tony’s chest and closing your eyes. Wanda’s voice said something you didn’t quite hear and there was a flash of red behind your eyelids then there was nothing, only blessed unconsciousness.

  


  


\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

  


  


Tony had insisted on a funeral and you had silently given consent. He had pulled out every stop to try and find your mothers name for the Tombstone, ran her through every facial recognition database, personally checked missing persons from the year before your birth, he had even reached out to Xavier, hoping that since she was a mutant someone at that school would recognise her. Nobody had. It was with guilt that he told you he had failed to find out who she was and asked what you would like to have carved on her tombstone when Thor had suggested cremation.

  


Thor told you how they said farewell to their dead on Asgard and you had agreed to it, thinking it was probably a nice tribute. You didn’t remember much of the ceremony itself, didn’t remember Tony’s speech or the many condolences of the team who’d come to support you. You only remembered the flickering of the flames from a distance as a cold metal hand encased yours.

  


  


\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

  


  


“I don’t know how to help her.” Tony lamented to Pepper.

  


It had been three weeks since you had found your mother in that Church. Nobody begrudged you your solitude or silence but you were acting like you were the one who was dead. You wouldn’t come out of your room unless somebody suggested it and you did whatever was asked of you robotically. You wouldn’t speak unless spoken to and answered in short, forwards sentences.

  


Even when he had first taken you in, there was life in you. It was in the way you skittishly followed him around or suspiciously prodded at everyday household items. Now there was nothing behind your eyes, just a terrifying blankness.

  


“I don’t know that you can Tony, maybe the only thing that can make her feel better is time.” Pepper had suggested.

  


But that wasn’t true. Finding the person who had done this to you would make you feel better. Tony had amped up the search for Docherty, determined to make him pay for what he had done. Steve and Bucky were constantly out, kicking down doors of suspected Hydra supporters and chasing down leads. Natasha was pressing every contact she had for even a speck of information. So far they had nothing.

  


The anniversary of when Tony had found you was fast approaching and an idea was beginning to form in his mind. Maybe a funeral hadn’t helped you move on but a celebration could. You needed to rediscover the joy in life and be with the people who loved you.

  


“I’m going to throw her the best birthday party she has ever had.” Tony announced to Sam the next morning.

  


“Has she ever had a birthday party?” Sam asked with a frown.

  


“Well she doesn’t want to celebrate the actual day she was born so last year we celebrated the anniversary of day she came to live with me.” Tony explained.

  


“Uh huh, and how exactly did you celebrate?” Sam prodded.

  


“A family dinner, in the lab. On the floor.” Tony admitted.

  


“So an indoor picnic?”

  


“Technically yes, you could call it that. Where is this going?”

  


“She’s never had a party party, don’t you think it could be overwhelming for her? I mean it would be overwhelming anyway but with the way she is right now Tony...”

  


“Nope, it’s a brilliant idea. It’s her first official birthday as a Stark, she needs to learn how to party like a Stark!” Tony crowed, backing away excitedly, plans already forming in his head.

  


Nobody was going to talk him out of this. Sam just decided to stick close to you on the day and hope Tony knew what he was doing. Stark did know you better than anybody he begrudgingly conceded, maybe this would be just the thing to get you back to the land of the living.

  


  


\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

  


  


The next week was a flurry of activity as Tony rushed to get everything prepared. Or more accurately, Pepper did. Thoroughly vetted decorators and caterers were bustling in and out of the compound and Tony sent invites to everyone he could think of that you might want there. Throughout it all you stayed in your little bubble of empty sadness, unaware of the preparations being made around you.

  


The morning of your birthday you woke up to Natasha letting herself into your room but you couldn’t bring yourself to open your eyes and sit up. She sat on the side of your bed and you felt her brush a strand of hair back from your face.

  


“Look at me Kotonok.” She instructed softly.

  


Your eyes flickered open to look at her and she smiled softly at you.

  


“I know you’re struggling and I don’t blame you. What happened was something nobody should ever have to go through. I know what she said, before she died. All those years, she never forgot you and that is tragic, yes but it also means she loved you. More than anything. So she wouldn’t want you to feel this way. You can’t change how she lived or how she died but you can do right by the love she had for you and her memory by changing how _you_ live.”

  


“Sure. I’ll try.” You said despondently.

  


Natasha stood up and whipped the covers off of you.

  


“Try harder. Breakfast is ready in the kitchen.” She instructed firmly.

  


You blinked up at her in surprise as she sashayed away. She paused at the door and looked over her shoulder at you.

  


“Oh and Kotonok? Happy Birthday.”

  


  


\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

  


  


By the time you pulled yourself out of bed and padded out of your room, Tony was waiting in the hallway for you impatiently.

  


“There’s the birthday girl!” He whooped excitedly.

  


You tried to smile for him, though it probably came out as more of a grimace. He very kindly pretended not to notice and opened his arms for you. You tucked yourself into his chest and wrapped your arms around him obligingly.

  


“I didn’t know my birthday was today.” You muttered.

  


“Well thankfully I am well aware of how long I’ve been lucky enough to have you in my life and no matter what else is going on, it’s something I need to celebrate. Think you can help me with that Kiddo?” He asked you.

  


You nodded, determined to try and shove your complicated emotions aside for the day and give Tony what he asked for. He pulled you off him and held onto your shoulders, looking down at you seriously.

  


“The team is gathered in the kitchen, they’re excited to spend the day with you but they will also understand if it’s too much for you. So I have a quinjet on standby to take us to Malibu, just me you and Pepper. Either way, whatever we do is fine by me and everybody else. All you have to do is pick a direction.” He said seriously.

  


You were touched by the thoughtfulness of the gesture and considered your options. You wanted to spend the day with your friends, you really did. You had missed them, even though they had been there. The problem is you weren’t, you were a million miles away. Could you bring yourself back to them to enjoy this day or would you just end up hurting their feelings when you failed to be anything other than miserable?

  


Natasha had already given you your answer. You owed this to your mother and to yourself, to live the best life you could. You were lucky enough to have a lot of people who wanted to see you happy and were patient enough to wait for you to find your own way to it.

  


“You know what? I’m kinda starving.” You told Tony.

  


“Kitchen it is!” He decreed and threw his arm around your shoulders, leading you away.

  


“I’m proud of you Kit Kat.” He whispered in your ear and for the first time in weeks you felt something other than that suffocating numbness. You felt warm.

  


When Tony had said the whole Team was in the kitchen, you hadn’t pictured this. Everyone was making breakfast as a group effort. It was almost funny to watch.

  


Natasha was sat cross legged on the counter and shouting instructions to everybody. Steve was at the hob, flipping pancakes, Clint beside him grilling bacon. Sam was whisking something in a bowl next to Thor who was studiously dipping strawberries in a pot of melted chocolate and setting them down on grease paper. Vision was arranging pastries while Wanda was making what looked like hot chocolate. Even Bucky was setting the table.

  


You had two seconds to take in the perplexing, chaotic scene before Pepper swept you into her arms and everybody noticed you were there. The next few minutes was a flurry of hugs and well wishes before you were ushered into a seat at the head of the table. A veritable feast of goodies was plated and set on the table under Natasha’s watchful eye and everyone piled into their chairs around you.

  


Tony thrust a mimosa into your hand that was immediatley snatched away by Wanda and replaced by a mug of steaming hot chocolate. Everyone started passing around plates, shovelling food onto their own and passing the platters around. Every few seconds, somebody would dump something else onto your plate.

  


The corners of your lips began to twitch upwards.

  


“Thank you.” You quiet statement of gratitude cut through the chattering and everybody fell silent, one by one as they turned to look at you.

  


“Just. Thank you.” You repeated, with as much conviction as you could muster.

  


Everybody grinned happily at you for about three seconds before Sam loudly complained that Bucky had snatched the last of the bacon and the chattering rose up again in full force.

  


  


\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

  


  


After breakfast you were positive you had taken a wrong turn on your way back to your room because you appeared to have stepped into a chick-flic movie. You were currently naked save for a towel draped over you, lying on your stomach while a stranger pressed their fingers into your back muscles. If you turned your head slightly to the left you could see Natasha having her nails painted and to your right, Pepper was having her hair saturated with some kind of oil. Wanda and Darcy who had arrived after breakfast were somewhere behind you. There was champagne, there was music, there were make overs happening. It was definitely Tony’s fault.

  


“So what’s Cap like on a date? Totally old fashioned or did he put out?” Darcy called out to you.

  


“I would love to hear you ask him if he “puts out”.” You told Darcy, knowing full well she would do it.

  


“I don’t think the Captain is the super soldier you’re hoping will put out.” Natasha said softly from beside you.

  


You froze up, causing your masseuse to tut at you before you relaxed again. Natasha had whispered it so only you could hear her.

  


“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” You muttered.

  


“So nothing happened between you two at the safehouse? You looked pretty heated in the alleyway that night.” She teased.

  


Disadvantages of being half naked included the blush rapidly covering your skin being visible to her.

  


“Nope, just a little stabbing and drugging. Some choking.” You stammered.

  


“Sounds fun.” She purred.

  


You needed out of this conversation and fast.

  


“Hey Wanda, does Vis put out? _Can_ Vis put out?” You asked, throwing her under the bus to save your own skin.

  


The diversion worked as Wanda giggled, unfortunately you were then treated to more information about Visions anatomy than you’d ever wanted to hear as Darcy cackled loudly.

  


  


\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

  


  


One very thorough afternoon of pampering later you decided you understood the hype about it. You really did feel like a new woman, as cliché as it may be. Every knot of tension had been rubbed from your body and every inch of you from bottom to top was scrubbed, waxed, moisturised, oiled and buffed to absolute perfection.

  


There had been several bottles of Champagne and while you still weren’t even close to tipsy, you were calm and starting to remember what happiness felt like. Though that probably had more to do with the company. Pepper had ushered all the women back to your room to get ready for the fancy dinner that had been arranged as the finale of your birthday.

  


Natasha was currently zipping you into the gorgeous dress Wanda had gifted you. It was low cut but classy, tight around the bodice and flaring out into a knee length skirt that whooshed around your knees every time you moved. It was made of the softest material you had ever felt and was the richest shade of your favourite colour you had ever seen.

  


“It’s beautiful Wanda, I love it! Thank you so much.” You told her earnestly.

  


“I’m glad you like it sestra, it looks wonderful on you.” She grinned back.

  


“Me next!” Darcy shrieked and bounced forwards, thrusting a brightly wrapped box at you.

  


You carefully started peeling the paper away and Darcy tutted, taking your hands and making you rip at it. You rolled your eyes and messily snatched the paper off the shoebox. Inside was a pair of the highest, most dangerous looking black heels you had ever seen.

  


“I know you don’t know how to walk in them all that well buuuuut, you should use that super balance for something. Besides they’ll make your ass look amazing and look, the heels are pointy. You could totally kill somebody with them.” She explained, making stabby motions with one of the shoes to illustrate her point.

  


“They are pretty bad ass. And stunning.” You admitted.

  


You pulled them on and did use your enhanced balance and reflexes to make sure you stayed upright as you walked around the room.

  


“Push your shoulders back and your chest out, swing your hips a little,” Natasha instructed.

  


You dutifully obeyed and while you felt ridiculous, the hollers and cheers from the women made you feel better.

  


“Alright, they are an awesome gift.” You conceded happily.

  


“Damn straight.” Darcy said smugly.

  


Pepper came up behind you and gently lowered something around your neck. You glanced down at the locket as she clasped it shut and gasped lightly. The dainty heart shaped locket had the Avengers symbol carefully carved into it.

  


“Pepper I...” You began but she shushed you.

  


“Open it.” She instructed.

  


You did and nearly teared up. On one side of the locket was a small picture of you, her and Tony. You were all smiling at the camera and you remembered the day, exactly a year ago when it had been taken. The three of you had been sat on the floor of Tony’s lab in the tower when Dum-E had come along with a camera. It was a good memory.

  


On the other side of the locket was a small drawing of your mother, smiling and healthier than you’d ever seen her in life.

  


“I had help from a certain artistically inclined Captain for that.” Pepper informed you.

  


You were speechless. You turned and threw your arms around her neck, hugging her tightly.

  


“Happy Birthday sweetheart.” She muttered into your hair as she pressed a kiss to your temple.

  


“Well who’s ready to…. Eat. Who’s ready to eat? I’m starving!” Darcy cried, tapering off at the end and you turned round to see Natasha and Wanda glaring at her.

  


“She’s right, we should head to dinner.” Wanda said.

  


The five of you excitedly piled out of your room in your beautiful dresses and headed for your Birthday dinner. You realised with shock you were actually looking forward to it. The elevator took you to the floor Tony had cleared out for the extended family meal and the girls pushed out out of it first. You nearly jamp back into it in fright.

  


“SURPRISE”

  


You gaped like a fish out of water at the room before you. It was full of people, most of whom you knew. In fact it looked like everybody you knew was here, Tony stood in front of the crowd with his arms spread proudly.

  


“Um hello?” You squeaked.

  


Darcy and Wanda sniggered behind you and pushed you forwards. You teetered nervously over to Tony who grabbed you and pulled you into the air, swinging you around.

  


“Happy Birthday Kit Kat!” He yelled in your ear and there were cheers from the crowd.

  


“What’s happening?” You asked with wide eyes.

  


Same came to your rescue and plucked you from Tony’s arms.

  


“Surprise Birthday Party.” He explained.

  


“So what do you think?” Tony asked proudly, preening.

  


“Well it was definitely a surprise.” You chuckled.

  


“Come on, let me show you the main attractions.” Tony said, pulling you along.

  


You shot a helpless look back at Sam who was already following you.

  


Tony had really gone way overboard, he had packed every kind of Birthday attraction he could think of into the large room. There was obviously a fully stocked bar, a catered buffet and a DJ but there was also a bouncy castle, complete with attached ball pit, an arcade station with platforms for something called “Dance Party” and a gigantic Twister mat.

  


“It was actually Sam’s idea.” Tony explained.

  


“What? Why am I getting the credit for this?” Sam asked with a comical look of confusion.

  


“Well like you said, she’s never had a birthday party. So I have years to make up for.” Tony said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

  


You looked around in utter shock and tears began to gather in your eyes.

  


“Oh shit. No don’t cry. I can make everyone leave, I’ll fix it.” Tony said in a panic, poking you in the eye with a napkin.

  


You launched yourself into his arms and held on to him for dear life.

“I love it!” You exclaimed, and you really did.

  


Already you could see people getting into the various activities and laughter was ringing all around you.

  


“You do?” Tony questioned nervously.

  


“I really do. Thank you dad.” You said with a wide grin.

  


Tony visibly melted at the praise and hugged you tightly again.

  


“Anything for you kid.”

  


“I love you.” You declared from where you were smooshed into his shoulder.

  


You felt him tremble slightly and wriggled free to look at his suspiciously glassy eyes.

  


“Of course you do, I’m Tony Stark. Everybody loves me.” He joked.

  


You laughed at him and excitedly looked towards the dance game where Darcy was currently challenging Peter Parker.

  


“Go on, go.” Tony permitted.

  


You happily ran off and paused and turned back when Tony called your name.

  


“I love you too.”

  


  


\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

  


Darcy cheered loudly when the system declared her the winner of the dance off and Parker vaulted off the platform to run over to you.

  


“Hey! Happy Birthday!” He said.

  


Two figures broke from the crowd and came over.

  


“Oh these are my friends, MJ and Ned. Mr Stark said I could invite them.” Peter introduced you.

  


“It’s nice to meet you I’m...”

  


“I know who you are, you’re Tony Starks daughter, you’re famous.!” The one called Ned babbled excitedly.

  


“I guess I am famous by proxy.” You said nervously.

  


“So how do you know Peter?” The girl, MJ asked you, crossing her arms.

  


“He’s an intern at my dad’s company, I’ve seen him around the Tower a few times.” You said smoothly, without missing a beat.

  


“Are you like friends?” Ned asked with a huge friendly grin.

  


“Ned, stop. You don’t have to answer that.” Peter told you, blushing adorably.

  


“Peter was one of the first people to befriend me when I arrived. I absolutely consider him a friend.” You confidently told Ned.

  


Peter preened proud and shy at the same time.

  


“Oh hey can we, I want to give you your gift.” he said, pulling you to the side.

  


“Bye Miss Stark.” Ned called

  


“Yeah, bye baby Stark.” Mj added.

  


You waved to them and turned back to Peter.

  


“You didn’t have to get me anything you know.” You said as he pulled something out of his pocket and handed it to you.

  


It was a tiny drawstring bag and you pulled it open and tipped the contents onto your palm. It was a Spiderman keyring. You grinned happily and looked up to thank him when he spoke quickly.

  


“It’s a tracking device. Well not all the time, that would be creepy. I mean if you activate it, just press your thumb to it for 3 seconds it’ll send me a signal and I’ll be able to find you wherever you are. I know you probably won’t need to use it, you’re really strong and don’t need rescued but I just thought, maybe, in case.” He rambled nervously.

  


You’d lost count of how many times that day you’d been rendered speechless. The sheer thoughtfulness and care that had gone into this gift shocked you in the best way. Peter had gone bright red and was rubbing the back of his neck nervously. You reached up and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

  


“Thank you Peter. I won’t go anywhere without it. Just in case.” You promised.

  


“Cool. Ok. I’m glad. Um, I should get back to MJ and Ned. Happy Birthday.” He stammered and scampered away before you could wipe the lipstick stain of his cheek.

  


“YO, BIRTHDAY GIRL! COME LET ME KICK YOUR ASS!” Darcy hollered from the dance game.

  


You raised a challenging brow at her and strode over. Yeah, she was gonna beat you but you pretended you didn’t know that.

  


  


\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

  


After Darcy humiliated you on the dancing game, Natasha had dragged you onto the bouncy castle where she had wowed everyone there with a series of graceful flips. Clint appeared from nowhere and suddenly the two of them were in an intense competition. You dutifully judged, declaring Natasha the winner. Clint flipped you off. You laughed and bounced away, climbing off the bouncy castle and running over to Steve whom you spotted across the room.

  


You hug tackled him and he laughed and caught you.

  


“Thank you for what you did. For giving me the chance to see her smiling.” You said, touching your locket.

  


He kissed the top of your head and squeezed you.

  


“You’re welcome babydoll.” He said.

  


“Steve, are you drunk?” You giggled.

  


He laughed loudly and clasped his pec as he threw his head back. You took that as a yes.

  


Dum-E had came whizzing over and proudly presented you with a box. You opened it to find a hair tie, one you were fairly certain you had lost weeks ago. That was your favourite gift of the evening. It wasn’t the last of the gifts given to you, not by a longshot. Tony had bought you.. well everything. Including a sleek sports car he’d dragged you down to the garage to show you. Sam had tagged along and you had assured him he could take her out for a spin whenever he wanted.

  


“You’re the best wingman ever.” Sam told you, squeezing you affectionately.

  


Sam had the presented you with his own present, which was a leather bound journal. You had cooed over it but shrieked when two tickets to see AC/DC fell out.

  


“Got you box seats so you don’t have to get in the crowd.” He told you.

  


“You mean us right? You’re so coming with me!” You insisted.

  


“Obviously, as your best friend it is my scared duty to take you to your first concert.” He agreed, fist bumping you.

  


When they had led you back upstairs there was quite the largest cake you had ever seen waiting for you. It was lit with flickering candles and as soon as you stepped into the room everyone broke into song. Tony linked his arm with yours as the guests serenaded you with a joyus rendition of ‘Happy Birthday To You’ and led you over.

  


“Make A Wish Kit Kat.” He prompted you as the singing drew to a close.

  


You closed your eyes and leaned over and blew out all of the candles as everyone cheered. You grinned and opened your eyes and like fate, met Bucky’s gaze. He was clapping along with everyone else but he wasn’t smiling. He was staring at you with an unplaceable expression on his face. You got lost in his eyes for a moment and the sounds of the party faded away as you stared at one another. The moment was abruptly broken as Tony shoved a gigantic slice of the cake into your hands and when you next looked up Bucky was gone. You pushed it from your mind as you dug into the delicious sponge.

  


The party was showing no signs of slowing down as the evening wore on and already it was without a doubt, the best night of your life. And that was before you saw a drunk Tony challenge an equally drunk Steve (Thank you Asgardian liquor) to a game of Twister. The whole crowd gathered to watch that particular match, shouting lewd insults at the two of them to try and put them off. In the end, Tony had toppled over first, landing on top of Steve and tears had run down your face as you tried to hold yourself up.

  


“Would you care to try some mead Being inebriated on ones nameday is a right of passage is it not?” Thor offered you his flask with a smirk.

  


You saw the expectant looks from the people around you.

  


“Yes, yes I would.” You boldly declared and Thor cheered loudly, handing you the flask.

  


“I’m just going to go to the bathroom first. I’ll be right back, I promise.” You assured him, quickly making an escape.

  


You had every intention of trying the Asgardian drink, you were curious about it but first you needed a breather. You were overwhelmed, in a good way but still overwhelmed. You snuck along the wall and ducked out of a set of doors leading onto a balcony. The cool air was bliss on your skin, and you exhaled loudly.

  


You heard somebody step onto the balcony behind you and glanced over your shoulder to see Bucky. Bucky whom had comforted you when your mother died and held your hand at her funeral, even after all you had done to him.

  


“I thought I saw you sneak out here.” Bucky said.

  


“I needed a moment. Just a moment. I’m alright.” You informed him, expecting him to leave after being assured you were ok.

  


Instead he stepped out onto the balcony with you, leaning on the railing casually and looking up at the stars.

  


“I’ll stay with you until you’re ready to go back in. Nobody will bother you if they think we’re talking.” He offered.

  


He was being so nice, far nicer than you deserved.

  


“We haven’t talked about what happened.” You stated.

  


“We don’t have to.” He told you.

  


“You kissed me.”

  


“I did.”

  


“I tranquilized you.”

  


“You did.”

  


“You must hate me.”

  


“I don’t.”

  


You paused for a second and looked at him. He was gazing out at the sky.

  


“I know you’re angry, you have every right to be. You’re just pretending you aren’t because you feel sorry for me.” You told him.

  


“I was. I was furious. It’s not pity that made me stop being angry though doll, I understand now. Docherty is far more sadistic than any of us realised. If the tables were turned, I wouldn’t have wanted you near him either. I don’t like it, what you did or the choices you made but I understand.” He admitted.

  


“I was wrong though. I was foolish and stupid to think I could take him on. I hurt you and in the end it was for nothing.” You told him ashamedly.

  


“You can take him on and when you do you will win. But you won’t be alone and you have to trust us, even if you’re afraid for us. That’s how you win. Next time, don’t push me away. I’ll forgive you for drugging me but you only get one free pass.” he joked.

  


You laughed softly and his eyes met yours. The soft notes of a retro song drifted out of the doors and Bucky held out his hand to you. You hesitated for only a split second before you took it. His other arm snaked around your waist and he began to gently sway with you.

  


“Every kiss, every hug, Seems to act just like a drug.” The singer crooned and you lost it.

  


You buried your face in Bucky’s chest as the giggles overtook you. You chanced a look up at his face and he was looking down at you with a smug grin.

  


“You did that on purpose!” You accused.

  


He chuckled and smoothly spun you around.

  


“You’re getting To Be A Habit With Me by Bing Crosby, from when I was younger. It seemed fitting.” He admitted.

  


Your laughter died as you saw the way he was looking at you. All the heat and passion he usually looked at you with remained but just like that night in the kitchen, there was no anger. This time it was far from peaceful as Bucky gracefully spun you around, bringing you in close to the heat of his body. Your heart was hammering in your chest and you knew he must have been able to tell. His hand on your waist slipped to the small of your back and he pressed you towards him lowering his head so he was a breath away from you. You felt his other hand let go of yours and gently cradle the back of your head and your eyes fluttered shut as he captured your lips in a burning kiss.

  


It seared your soul and you swear your heart went from beating a million miles an hour to stopping completely. His lips moved so sweetly against yours it stole the breath from your lungs. The whole world stood still but for the two of you as Bucky kissed you under the stars.


	17. Puzzle Pieces

There was a steady drumbeat that woke you, you tried to open your eyes to tell whoever it was to knock it off but it was too bright and you quickly squeezed your eyes closed, hissing in annoyance at the stupid sun. The drumbeat carried on and you belatedly realized it was inside your head, sending a fresh wave of throbbing pain through your skull every few seconds.

 

You moaned lowly and shifted slowly, trying to maneuver your head under the pillow but you were trapped. You gradually became aware of an arm slung over your waist, trapping you in place and your eyes shot open in alarm. Wincing at the brightness you waited for your eyes to adjust. When they did you looked around, this wasn’t your bed, this wasn’t your room. Where the hell were you?

 

You twisted your head around to look behind you at the person who was holding you tightly and blinked in surprise. Darcy was spooning you, her eyes screwed tightly shut and soft rhythmic snores falling from her open mouth. You grimaced and tried to sit up, accidentally knocking Wanda’s head off your lap. Wait, Wanda was in the bed?

 

You nervously peered around, thankfully there was nobody else on the bed but Natasha was curled up on an armchair in the corner of the room, fast asleep. It took you a few minutes but you managed to piece together the scene. This was Wanda’s room, Natasha and Darcy were still wearing their party dresses from last night, Wanda was wearing red pajamas and you were wearing…. A tuxedo?

 

You crawled off the bed, stopping in fright when you accidental kicked Wanda in the face but she only rolled over and carried on sleeping and you breathed a sigh of relief and continued to make your escape. As soon as you were standing upright you seriously considered just getting back into the bed. You felt weak, like you hadn’t had food or water in days and yet as soon as the thought of food crossed your mind your stomach started turning and nausea had you running/stumbling for the bathroom.

 

Ten minutes later and after sticking your head under the tap you tiptoed out of Wanda’s bedroom, leaning on the walls for support as you very very slowly made your way towards the kitchen. You needed to find someone who knew what had happened because you had absolutely no idea whatsoever. The last clear memory you had was of kissing Bucky.

 

You stopped in the hall and nearly toppled over. Bucky. Kissing. You and Bucky had kissed. Resisting the urge to slap some sense into yourself you tried to remember what had happened after that. You had flashes of Blonde hair and muscles and the taste of something sweet and honeyed. Oh God. God of Thunder to be precise. You must have gotten to try Thor’s mead.

 

You were hungover. You had gotten blackout drunk.

 

You desperately resumed your quest for the kitchen, needing more than ever to find somebody who could tell you what had happened. Your alcohol soaked brain finally remembered the way and after only one wrong turn and a detour past the gym you made it into the kitchen. Sam was sat at the counter, nursing a cup of coffee.

 

“Sam! Oh thank god, you have to help me.” You whisper shouted and threw yourself dramatically into his arms.

 

“Whoa, what’s wrong?”

“I’m hungover.” You lamented, a little teary eyed.

 

The heartless bastard snorted in amusement.

 

“It’s not funny, I think somethings really wrong with me. Maybe my Super Soldier Serum reacts badly with alcohol, I think I’m dying.” You sniffled.

 

“Oh baby, you’re not dying. It just feels like you are. The first hangover is always the worst.” He assured you, trying and failing to hide the smirk on his face.

 

“But I can’t remember anything about what happened, it’s all blank. My head feels like somebody is scooping my brain out with a blunt knife and my stomach feels all wrong. I can’t stop shaking.” You told him, holding out your trembling hand to illustrate.

 

“Trust me, that’s normal. I don’t feel so hot myself. Of course I’m a little more used to it and I didn’t get one taste of Thor’s mead and drink the entire flask.” He snorted.

 

“I did what?”

 

“Don’t worry, Thor thought it was hilarious.”

 

“Least of my worries Sam, least of my worries. What else did I do?” You asked with trepidation.

 

“I’m not sure, check your twitter account. Most of the highlights are on that.” He said with a shrug.

 

“My… My what?”

 

“You don’t remember that either? Darcy and that Parker kid convinced you to sign up for social media.” Sam explained, patting your pockets and pulling out your phone.

 

He unlocked it and after a few clicks turned the screen round to show you. Sure enough you were logged into ‘Twitter’ as…

 

“Baby-Stark-Do-Do-Do-Do-Do-Do?” You questioned.

 

“That was Parkers idea. Don’t ask, you don’t want to know the answer.”

 

You scrolled down the posts with a growing sense of shame. There were pictures and videos galore. You pressed play on one of the videos to see yourself being dancing to Mr Roboto with Iron Man. That video was especially popular. There was a picture of you mid arm wrestling match with Steve, thankfully there wasn’t a video of that, you’d be fucked if you’d revealed to the world you could hold your own with Captain America in strength.

 

“The Falcon is my favorite Avenger for anyone who was wondering, he’s the best looking and coolest!” You read out loud.

 

“They do say drunk people are honest.” Sam shrugged and tried to look innocent.

 

“Sam this is so bad, my dad is probably going to kill me.” You whined.

 

“I wouldn’t worry about that.” Sam said, taking your phone and clicking on Tony’s twitter profile.

 

Tony had retweeted a photo of you Dj’ing with an Iron Man helmet on your head with the caption ‘She parties like a Stark! So proud!’.

 

“None of this explains why I’m wearing a tuxedo or why I woke up in bed with Wanda and Darcy.” You pointed out, stealing Sam’s coffee.

 

“Can’t help you there but I have so many questions.” Sam said.

 

You didn’t answer, as soon as you’d tasted the coffee you moaned loudly and drained it like a vampire tasting blood for the first time. Maybe Clint was on to something when he drank it straight from the pot. Sam rolled his eyes and got up to make more.

 

“Where is everyone else?” You questioned, really wondering if he knew where Bucky was.

 

“Still sleeping probably. Steve and Buckinator are gone.” He said casually.

 

“Gone? What do you mean gone? Gone where, gone why?” You yelped.

 

“They left in the middle of the night. Steve said something about supporting Bucky.”

 

“Why?”

 

“I don’t know, I wasn’t exactly sober myself.”

 

“Did Bucky say anything?” You pressed.

 

“No, last time I saw Bucky you two were screaming at each other in the corridor.” He told you.

 

Oh no. This was bad. This was very very very bad. What had you done?

 

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

 

After sneaking back into Wanda’s room to leave bottles of water and painkillers on the bedside unit for them and lamenting that aspirin couldn’t do a damn thing for you, you decided you needed to retrace your steps from last night to try and figure out what had happened. Bucky’s phone was switched off, as was Steve’s and you were growing more frightened by the second.

 

Still clad in the ill fitting tux you made the arduous trek downstairs to the floor where the party had been held, hoping to trigger some memories. There were cleaners milling about, bagging up all the evidence and you smiled politely at them as you made your way through the large room.

 

Nothing in your memories was shaking loose as you teetered around the room shakily and you sighed heavily, ready to give up and try something else when you spotted somebody on the bouncy castle. There was a dark haired man lying on it with his back to you. You crept over and leaned in curiously.

 

“Hello?” You called.

 

He sat up rapidly and groaned, holding his head in his hands. He glanced over his shoulder at you and did a double take.

“Oh hey! It’s you!” He exclaimed.

 

“Scott? What are you doing?” You enquired.

 

“I was at your party, I’m Scott Lang. You know, Ant Man?”

 

“Scott we’ve met like twice before.” You reminded him, holding out your hand to help him climb off the bouncy castle.

 

“Yeah but I wasn’t sure if you remembered me, you were really busy.” He said, accepting your hand and clambering down to stand beside you.

 

“Trust me, you make an impression.” You laughed.

 

“Sorry.”

 

“No, a good one.” You assured him.

 

“You look as bad as I feel, only with more shame and regret.” He noted.

 

You sighed heavily and sat down on the edge of the castle and he perched next to you with a patient and open expression.

 

“I think I fucked up, badly.” You admitted.

 

“Wanna talk about it? I know a _lot_ about shame and regret.” He offered.

 

“I don’t know if I can explain it. Ok, there’s somebody here, on the team. We don’t get along and I kind of betrayed them a teeny bit but last night we made progress, really good progress. Great progress actually. But I think I got drunk and messed it up and now he’s gone and I don’t know if I can fix it because I don’t know what I did.” You rambled.

 

Scott looked a little overwhelmed.

 

“Wow. Ok, that is a lot more information that I was expecting.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Well if we can figure out what you did, you think you can try and fix things? That doesn’t sound too complicated. I bet we can do this, you just need to try and remember what happened.”

 

“I’ve been trying. That’s why I’m down here.” You explained.

 

“What’s the last thing you remember?” He asked.

 

“Um, Thor I think? Sam said I drank all the Asgardian mead.” You admitted ruefully.

 

Scott blinked at you in awe.

 

“Well that’s a start. Hey lets ask around, the more you can piece together about what happened the better your chances of remembering.” He suggested.

 

“We? You wanna help?” You asked.

 

“Sure, it’ll be fun. Probably.” He smiled goofily.

 

“Besides, every great detective needs a sidekick. Sherlock and Watson, Inspector Gadget and penny… That’s all the examples I have. Come on.” He said, walking off with a spring in his step.

 

You sighed and shrugged. You didn’t have any better ideas so you got up and followed him.

 

“Wait, which one of us is the sidekick in this scenario?” You asked.

 

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

 

“Well that doesn’t look good...” You remarked.

 

There was a fist sized hole in the corridor wall. You placed your fist into it but it was clearly made by someone with much bigger hands. Sam had said you and Bucky were arguing in the corridor last night and whatever you had said to him, it looked like it was bad enough he’d punched the wall.

 

“Hey, there’s another one over here.” Scott called to you from further down the corridor.

 

You went over to him and saw what he was pointing at. There was a large crack in the plaster, much much bigger than a fist. In fact, it was similar in size to you. You looked behind you and saw that the hole was parallel to the stairs. A fuzzy memory began to play in your head and you pulled your shirt up. Sure enough there were fading bruises along your side.

 

“Uh, I think I may have tried to use Caps shield as a sledge to go down the stairs.” You admitted with a blush.

 

“Cool!” Scott exclaimed and then looked at the hole in the wall again.

 

“Or maybe not so cool.” He decided.

 

“Very not cool.” You agreed with a wince as you remembered hurtling down the steps and into the wall.

 

“But hey, at least you remembered something. This is working! Let’s keep going!”

 

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

 

The next piece of the puzzle to be solved was in the lab where Banner was working. As soon as he saw you he backed away.

 

“Are you sober?” The doctor asked you nervously.

 

“Yes? Why?” You asked.

 

“Because last night you asked me if you could fight the Hulk and film it. You said Vernichtung Vs The Incredible Hulk would be the greatest death match in history.” Bruce explained.

 

“I mean, it kind of would.” Scott said while the colour drained from your face.

 

“I am so sorry Bruce! I would never do that, I swear.” You protested.

 

“It’s ok, I think you were joking. Besides, I’m pretty sure Darcy put the idea in your head.” He said placatingly.

 

You were still horrified as you remembered asking Thor if he wanted to referee the fight. You hurriedly apologised to Bruce and fled the lab, your face burning. Scott waved bye to Banner cheerily and ran after you.

 

“Where to next?” He asked.

 

“Far away from Bruce.” You said as your feet led you back to the kitchen.

 

Sam had left and now Clint was perched on the counter drinking coffee. You snatched to pot from his hands and started chugging it.

 

“Whoa, rude.” Clint snapped.

 

“Did I do anything last night you wanna tell me about? Steal your bow and pretend I was Merida or something equally stupid?” You groaned.

 

“No, nothing like that. Well you did ask if I kept animals on the farm and cried for ten minutes when I said I had chickens and phoned my wife to ask her to let you say hi to them.” Clint told you with a snort.

 

Now that he mentioned it you did sort of remember Laura Barton inviting you to come and see the chickens for yourself and meet the children.

 

“Oh yeah. Wanda and I are coming to your farm for the weekend.” You admitted.

 

“I know, the kids are excited.”

 

“Well, that’s not so bad.” Scott remarked.

 

“Yeah, at least I didn’t bodily injure myself or challenge him to a fight.” You agreed.

 

“I don’t want to know, yet I kind of do.” Clint said and Scott hurriedly filled him in while you smooshed your head into your arms on the counter.

 

“WANDA!” You shrieked, startling both the men.

 

You wish you had thought of this sooner, you could have saved yourself some time. You rushed away at a faster pace than your body could handle and had to stop in the hall to lean against the wall and rest.

 

“Wanda I want my memories back.” You yelled, storming into her room.

 

She was sat on the edge of the bed and you noticed Darcy and Natasha were gone as the witch looked up at you in fear and alarm.

 

“Your memories? You can’t!” She protested.

 

“What? Why? I need to figure out what happened last night. Can’t you just… you know?” You asked, imitating the hand gestures she used.

 

“Last night? Oh, uh I can’t do that. It doesn’t work like that I am afraid.” She informed you, colour returning to her face.

 

“Ugh. Can you at least remember anything that happened? Any arguments I may have gotten into or something I might have to apologise for?” You asked hopefully.

 

“I remember very little after karaoke I’m afraid Sestra.” She told you apologetically.

 

“After what now?”

 

“You mean you don’t have any recollection of singing?” She said with an evil smirk.

 

“Oh no. Just tell me.” You whined, throwing yourself onto the bed face down.

 

“You gave a very emotional performance of Bad Romance.” She sniggered.

 

“Please just kill me.” You begged.

 

“If it makes you feel any better, Darcy sang ‘I Touch Myself’ to The captain.”

 

“You know what, that does make me feel better.”

 

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

 

You tracked down Scott who was still in the kitchen, his head in the fridge.

 

“Wanda can’t help, though she did give me the rundown of my short lived pop career.” You informed him with a sigh.

 

“Don’t look so down, we’re making great progress.” He told you through a mouthful of cold take out.

 

“No, we’re finding out all the embarrassing things I did. I’m no closer to finding out what I did to Bucky.” You said mournfully.

 

“So that’s what this is about? You and The Winter Soldier? You know what, I can kind of see it.” Scott said, squinting at you.

 

“See what?”

 

“You and Barnes. You’d make a good couple.”

 

“What? That’s not what… I didn’t… No.” You spluttered.

 

Scott grinned at you and you knew you’d given yourself away.

 

“If you tell anyone I will hunt you down and introduce you to my bloodthirsty alter ego.” You vowed and he went pale.

 

“No, I wouldn’t. I was just saying, I’m on your side.” He hurriedly assured you.

 

“I know. Thanks Scott, I appreciate you trying to help but I don’t think this is working.”

 

You dragged yourself to the couch, accepting that you had messed things up with Bucky again and you didn’t know how.

 

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

 

It wasn’t until you got back to your own room that everything fell into place. In hindsight, you really should have gone there first. Especially since you were still wandering around in Tony’s Tuxedo. Yeah, Darcy had finally relented and informed you that she had dared you to steal one of Tony’s suits and wear it back down to the party. She hadn’t specified she had meant the Iron Suits and you had raided your dads closet for the expensive Italian tux.

 

You had pulled it off and taken a shower, padding over to your bed in a funk you tried once again to call Bucky and yet again it went straight to voicemail. You didn’t bother leaving a message, you wouldn’t know what to say. You sighed heavily and threw yourself onto the mattress, landing on something hard and pointy. You grumbled and pulled it out from under your stomach. It was a book, Frankenstein by Mary Shelley. You frowned and flipped the front cover open. There was a note on the inside.

 

_My dear Vernichtung,_

 

_I was sorry to hear about your mothers untimely demise, such a tragedy. Still, I am heartened to hear you are able to celebrate and decided to send you this gift. I believe you will find this book to your liking._

 

_I will see you very soon._

 

_Your Creator._

 

Your chest tightened and everything snapped back into place, all your memories of last night. Finding the book in a pile of gifts and running out of the party. Bucky had followed you into the corridor, worried about you. Through shaky breaths you had tried to explain, showing the book to him. He had been incandescent with rage, putting his fist through the wall. Your own fury had ignited and you had screamed until your throat was raw, wanting to know how he got the book into the compound, wanting to kill him.

 

You knew you should feel afraid right now but you were too relieved. You hadn’t fucked things up with Bucky. He had tracked down the caterer who had slipped the book into your pile of gifts. A young woman who had been paid an obscene amount of money to sneak the book into the compound, she had thought it was harmless since it was only a book and she needed the money to pay her college fee’s. She had told Bucky everything, about how a man had approached her during one of her breaks at the Catering Company in LA. Bucky had dragged Steve out of the party after begging you to try and put it out of your mind and go back to the celebrations and promised he would call you when he tracked down the mysterious man who had given the girl the book.

 

Docherty was doing all he could to torment you and proving he could get to you anywhere. Bucky was doing everything he could to help you feel safer, leaving your party and flying to LA for you. You really hadn’t fucked this up at all Docherty be damned, you were happy.

 

You threw your head back onto the pillow and laughed, jumping up when your phone rang. The screen was completley blank, no caller registered at all. With apprehensiveness you picked up.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Miss Stark, this Is Nicholas J Fury. I need your assistance with something. In precisely ten minutes the security systems in the compound will be down for exactly sixty seconds. If you agree to help us you will need to use that time to get out of the compound unnoticed.”

 

“Why the hell would I do that?”

 

“Because there is a very rich and powerful man who has managed to create a deadly virus he plans to unleash on an unsuspecting population in a war torn country. We can’t call The Avengers, they are too public and this man is to powerful. We need somebody unknown, somebody highly skilled. I am asking you to climb out of your ivory tower to save lives, a lot of lives.”

 

“And I can’t tell anybody, why?” You demanded suspiciously.

 

“Plausible deniability. The man in possession of this virus has contacts within the UN. This mission is not sanctioned by the accords and neither are you. Millions of lives are at stake and you have eight minutes and sixteen seconds left. Are you in or do I need to find myself another hero, one who cares more about doing the right thing than getting their daddy’s permission?”

 

Your mind whirled as you tried to decide what to do. What was the right answer here? Did you betray Tony _again_ and sneak away _again_ or did you hang up the phone and let somebody else take care of this? Millions of innocent lives VS Tony’s trust, what were you supposed to do? Did you even trust Fury? Would Tony forgive you if you did it? Would somebody else stand as high a chance as you of doing this?

 

You took a deep breath and gave your answer.

 

“I’ll do it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm honestly surprised anyone read this to begin with, let alone has stuck with it! I don't think I can explain how all the comments are helping. I was never going to post a chapter every day but every time I read a comment I get all fuzzy inside and need to write more. You guys are the best and the last two weeks have been wonderful, even my friends and family have remarked how much more happy I have been which is a huge deal. So thank you, genuinley and truly, thank you.


	18. The Way She Makes Me Feel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special bonus mini chapter.

Bucky was trembling with rage. The catering company lead had been a bust. The security camera’s had picked up a hooded figure handing the book to the caterer but between the camera’s and the witness there were no identifying features other than it was a white male, early to late 30’s, 5’10 to 6ft tall.

  


“Docherty probably hired somebody to give the book to the caterer. Even if we found him, we’d probably just be chasing down a line of unaware people. He’s not going to make this easy for us.” Steve told him despondently.

  


Bucky sighed, he knew Steve was right but he had hoped he would have something a little more concrete to tell her. As they trudged back to the quinjet in defeat he allowed his mind to go where it had been desperate to go all day.

  


That kiss.

  


He hadn’t planned on it, he had only intended to assure her he wasn’t mad at her but it had just happened. He had looked down at her laughing face, eyes bright and shining with relief and amusement and he had realised that he desperately wanted to kiss her again. He knew it was a risk, she might push him away and hit him. She could have laughed in his face. But she didn’t, she kissed him back with fervour. She’d run her hands up his chest and felt his heart thundering under her palm, she’d pushed her hands into his hair and gently tugged at the strands when he nipped at her lip. She’d opened her mouth and let him entwine his tongue with hers. She had taken everything he offered and given it back with equal desire.

  


It had taken every ounce of self control he had to pull back and let her breathe. He wanted to keep her out there on the balcony, safely ensconced in his arms all night but had reluctantly escorted her back inside to her party. She had been snatched away from him almost straight away by Thor who had shoved a flask into her hands while Sam, Darcy and Steve had chanted at her to drink. He wanted to whisk her away and have her, all of her to himself but the more he watched her laugh and dance the more calm he felt. Seeing her joyous like that had made him happy.

  


For months he had told himself he hated her and it hadn’t been a lie but the more time he spent with her the more she got under his skin.

  


When the journalists had assailed her outside the tower and he had seen her shrink in on herself, terrified he had seen a softness in her he hadn’t known was there. And when she had come to him after, filled with rage and demanding he sparred with her it had lit a fire in his blood. She had beaten him, executing a flawless move that had taken his breath away in it’s efficiency and brutality.

  


When he had seen Vernichtung he had realised how wrong about her he was because one look at that monster was enough to make him see how different she was from the beast inside her. The pain she had felt at what that monster had done had broken his heart and when that bullet pierced her chest he felt like it had also pierced his.

  


That night in the kitchen when she had tenderly pressed the ice pack to his cheek his heart had fluttered in his chest and he’d felt hopeful that maybe she didn’t hate him. The calm and serenity of that moment had stayed with him all night and for the first time in a long time he had slept long and deep, unplagued by nightmares.

  


The moment she had agreed to go on a date with somebody else bile had risen in his throat and he had been bitterly reminded that he couldn’t have her. When he had seen her in her dress in the hallway it was like someone had dumped ice cold water over him such was the shock when he had realised then just how badly he actually wanted her. When she had ripped a man twice her size through the sunroof of a car and carved his tooth out with a knife he knew he shouldn’t have found it quite so attractive but the ferocity she had shown had ignited something carnal in him.

  


And the she had fought him, desperate to escape. Even shoving his own knife into his shoulder and his anger and lust had boiled over, mingling together and clouding his mind. He had kissed her before even considering what he was doing. For a few glorious moments she had kissed him back and then came the betrayal. He had wanted to hate her for it and for a few hours he had, until he saw the depths of depravity in the soul of the man she was trying to keep him away from. When he had seen her mother dying in that church it had hit him, the real monster wasn’t Vernichtung, it was Docherty. And she had known that from the beginning. She had drugged him, betrayed him and left him behind because she was protecting him.

  


She was brave to a fault, unwavering in the face of danger. She would do anything she had to do without flinching to protect the people around her. She was soft and sweet and ferocious and violent all at the same time. He had spent so long fuming at her getting under his skin that he hadn’t realised she had found her way into his heart.

  


“Earth to Bucky...” Steve called, waving a hand in front of his face.

  


Bucky was surprised to see they were already back at the quinjet.

  


“You ok Buck?” Steve asked him.

  


“Yeah pal, I’m fine.”

  


“You sure? I know you were hoping we’d catch a lead out here.”

  


“We’ll get him, he’s going to slip up eventually and then we’ll have him.” Bucky vowed.

  


“You’re pretty invested in this. I knew you’d do what you could to help, you’re a good man but you’re really going above and beyond the call of duty for someone you hate.”

  


“I don’t hate her.” Bucky said with a weary sigh.

  


He’d wasted so long thinking he did and he was done. She was still the most infuriating person he had ever met and she made his temper flare like nobody else but he did not hate her.

  


“That’s great Buck, I’m so relieved. Because I was thinking..”

  


“A dangerous pastime.”

  


“Shut up jerk. That date I took her on, it was nice. Really nice. I hadn’t really thought of her in that way before then but now I am. Do you think I should take her out again?”

  


Bucky’s head snapped up as he felt his heart sink to his stomach. He wanted her but this was Steve. His best friend and the best person he knew. How could he compete with Captain America, even if he could bring himself to try?

  


“Oh. You and her? You like her?” He asked through the lump in his throat.

  


“Yeah. She’s pretty amazing don’t you think?” Steve replied.

“Yeah, yeah she is.” Bucky said wistfully.

  


She really was amazing, the most amazing woman he’d met. And she deserved someone like Steve, the only person with a heart as big as hers. He was broken out of his musings by Steve’s sniggering.

  


“You’ve really got it bad for her don’t ya pal? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this doll dizzy.” Steve laughed.

  


“Me? I thought you said you wanted to ask her out?” Bucky was lost.

  


“Wanted to see if you’d finally figured out how you felt about her. Glad to see you’ve cottoned on at last.” Steve grinned.

  


“You knew?”

  


“You’ve been my best friend for decades. Of course I knew.” Steve said with a shrug.

  


“Is that why you went on a date with her?”

  


“No. I did that for her. The fact it made you jealous was just a bonus. Your face in the elevator when she called you out for being jealous though, that was priceless.”

  


“I can’t believe everybody thinks you’re some kind of paragon of virtue and justice. You’re a little shit.” Bucky snapped.

  


“Don’t get mad at me because you were blind to your own feelings. It’s been exhausting watching you two tear each other to shreds, waiting for the other shoe to drop.” Steve said in exasperation.

  


Bucky couldn’t even be mad. Steve was right, he had been a blind idiot.

  


“I kissed her.” Bucky admitted.

  


“How’d she respond?”

  


“Which time?”

  


“How many times have you kissed her?” Steve asked indignantly.

  


“See, you don’t know everything Rogers.” Bucky smirked.

  


“Bucky.” Steve whined petulantly.

  


“Twice. I kissed her twice. First time was after she stabbed me. She tranquilized me mid kiss.”

  


Steve looked scandalized.

  


“Don’t give me that look, I remember when Peggy shot at you.” Bucky pointed out.

Steve smiled wistfully at the memory.

  


“She makes me feel alive Stevie, even when she’s shouting at me. Especially when she’s shouting at me. Everything’s a little brighter, more intense when I’m around her. The whole world just seems like more than it was the day before you know? She’s there and suddenly my heart beats faster, my blood runs quicker and I just feel so alive.” Bucky told him, frustrated he couldn’t find the words to express it properly.

 

“You’re in love with her.” Steve said with wonder, clapping him on the shoulder.

  


“Yeah, I think I am. I really think I am.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want someone to feel about me the way Bucky feels about reader.
> 
> Steve and Bucky, finding overly aggressive women attractive since the 40's.


	19. Fury's Shadow

“Shadow come in, are you in position?”

  


“You really couldn’t come up with a better codename?” You whispered through gritted teeth.

  


“It’s better than some of the other options Fury originally suggested.” Maria Hill told you through the comms unit.

  


“Oh when this is finished you and I are going to get a drink and you are going to tell me all about it.” You insisted.

  


“Finish this successfully Shadow and I will buy you a drink my damn self and tell you what you want to know.” Fury barked.

  


“You know, you’re not really my type.” You sassed.

  


You heards Fury’s deep sigh over the line and smirked. You slowly and carefully crept along the branch you were perched on to get a better view of the lavish mansion you were watching. It was gaudy and modern and tasteless. You silently remarked the irony of you being in a position to judge mansions but no matter where you had come from, you were Tony Starks daughter now. You knew the difference between sophisticated and tacky.

  


The grandiose building was the home of one Benjamin Newlands who had a biological uncle and father in law on the UN council. He had fingers in lots of pies apparently, everything from weapons dealing to property development. There was a third world country that was being attacked by it’s neighbours. Newlands wasn’t the one supplying weapons to the enemy but he did have documents ready to go that would allow him to buy up the land.

  


If a large portion of the population were to tragically die from a terrible airborne virus, the war would be over. His competition in the arms dealing trade would lose business and he would swoop in and buy up the land, making him appear as a charitable philanthropist who would vow to revitalise the country.

  


And if anyone ever identified the virus as man made, nobody would trace it back to him. He had kept it incredibly close to home. In his home actually. This ridiculously large mansion had several floors dedicated to a laboratory. The handful of scientists working on it rarely left the building and they and Newlands were the only people who knew what was going on. All that secrecy would protect him when the virus was released but it was also his undoing.

  


With a few well placed explosives you would literally blow the whole operation sky high. All information about the research that had gone into the virus was stored in the mansion and nowhere else. The scientists who knew about it were all in the building, minus the single scientist who had developed a conscience and blown the whistle. All you had to do was sneak in, steal the virus and destroy the mansion. It was neat, efficient and brutal.

  


The only reason you even had to go inside at all was they needed a sample of the virus on the off chance Newlands had more in another location. Fury and Hill wanted to pre-emptively reverse engineer a cure.

  


  


Right on schedule, two armed guards walked in your direction. There was no security camera’s in this spot but here were heat signature readers all over the property at ground level. You would have to time this perfectly. As they walked under your branch for the fourth time since you’d started watching you made your move.

  


Stepping off the branch you landed lithely on one of the guards shoulders, wrapping your thighs around his throat and twisted your body round, landing upright on the ground a split second after his neck snapped. All the security guard watching the monitors would see is a slight fluctuation in the readings as your living body replaced his dead one. As soon as you landed you struck out, your fist connecting with the second guards throat and stopping him calling out to alert anybody. As he immediately clawed at his throat you grabbed him by the front of his uniform and threw him bodily into the trunk of the tree you had been perched in. His head connected with the bark and his eyes rolled back in his head as he slithered down to the ground. You quickly tied him up, leaving his heat signature intact.

  


“This is Shadow, I’m in. Going dark” You announced quietly into the comms.

  


You were met by silence. Good. Fury and Hill wouldn’t speak to you again unless it was absolutely necessary, letting you complete your mission without any distractions. You walked slowly and at a steady pace, mirroring the speed the guards had walked at but you kept to the shadows as you walked towards the mansion.

  


The jet black tactical suit you were wearing with it’s wide hood completely covered your body, making it easy to blend into the darkness. The black breathable cloth piece of materiel wrapped around the lower half of your face made it so the only part of you uncovered was your eyes. Between the hood covering your hair and the scarf over your mouth, you were unidentifiable. You were as you had aptly been dubbed by Fury, a shadow.

  


You made it to one of the side doors to the main building and after listening through it to make sure nobody was on the other side you swiped the key card you’d swiped from the dead guard and stepped through. It was just as gaudy looking on the inside and this was just the corridor. You mentally brought up the floorplans you had studied and started counting doors along the corridor. Sixth door on the left, sounds of one person breathing inside. Pulling a wicked sharp blade that was part of a set Natasha had gifted you from your belt you swung the door open and flung the knife straight into the back of the guards head.

  


Now you had the freedom to move around the mansion as you desired. You quickly stuffed the body under a desk and wiped the blood away. With a quick glance at the monitor you noted the positions of the remaining six external guards. You had to take the ones outside the building down first lest they escape when you detonated the disc bombs you had strapped to your belt. You rapidly ran through various mental scenarios and decided the quickest course of action would be to take them out at the same time. Which meant you needed a vantage point from which you could see them all simultaneously. The roof would give you the scope you needed but Hawkeye you were not. You were good with a gun but not perfect.

  


You needed to move fast before someone noticed the missing guards and sounded the alarm but if you missed even a single shot you’d give away your presence. Either option had risks. You had to make sure you didn’t miss, it was the only way forward.

  


Climbing out of the window you quickly devised a route up the side of the building. You climbed onto the top ledge of the ground floor window and bending your knees, you jumped. You fingers grabbed the ledge of the window above and you climbed up, repeating yourself. You made it up every floor of the building and onto the roof in under a minute.

  


Scaling the roof tiles you kept your body low, letting the darkness provide cover so nobody looking up would see your figure moving around. In the centre of the roof your enhanced eyes picked up the six guards, moving in pairs. You pulled the Smith & Wesson’s M&P22 Compact Suppressor Pistol Clint had given you from it’s shoulder holster.

  


Two guards, back to back on the left side of the perimeter were your first targets. You had maybe three seconds maximum between shots before one noticed the other had been shot. You knelt on one knee, giving you a better centre of gravity and keeping your body steady, and with both hands on the pistol you carefully aimed. You breathed in deeply and on the exhale fired. There was a soft inaudible pop and you saw your targets head snap to the side as the bullet hit it’s mark. You moved the barrel a few centimetres to the side and pulled the trigger again. Both bodies crumbled to the ground with holes in their skulls. Two down, four to go.

  


The next two you aimed for were walking around the back garden, if you could call it a garden. It was more like a park. This set would be trickier because they were moving and they were both in each others eyeline. Before doubt could settle in you forced yourself to keep going and aimed. The first shot landed perfectly, between the eyes of the guard. The second shot, half a second later into her partner went too low, hitting him in the throat. Shit. You quickly fired again and thankfully managed to hit him in the head and he went down on the ground next to the woman. Four down, two to go.

  


The last two were the most difficult yet. Two men, sat inside a small hut near the front gate. You had clear line of sight on one of them through the window but all you could see of the other was the back of his shoulder. You didn’t have time to wait for him to move. You took a massive gamble and fired at the ground beside the hut. Just as you’d hoped, the sound of the bullet hitting the ground outside caused your illusive target to lean his head out of the door and you didn’t hesitate to fire at the now exposed target. His body slumped through the open door and you swung the gun back round to shot his partner who was reaching for his radio. Your bullet smashed through the window and into the snitch’s temple, taking him down before he had even unclipped the radio. All targets eliminated.

  


You breathed a sigh of relief, now all you had to do was sneak around the heavily protected mansion, past all the guards inside, plant several small explosives at the weak points in the structure, break into the lab, steal a highly dangerous virus, sneak back out and detonate the explosives. Easy.

  


  


\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

  


  


There was a rare spring In Bucky’s step as he and Steve walked down the ramp of the quinjet and back into the compound. He felt like he’d achieved something monumental, sorting through his mess of emotions. He needed to see her, to kiss her again. He wouldn’t tell her how he felt, not yet. It was too soon, she needed a chance to catch up to him. He needed to _show_ her how he felt. Bucky needed to woo her, like he would have done back in the day. Only this wasn’t passing fancy, some pretty dame who had turned his head. This was a beautiful woman who had stolen his heart.

  


“Thank God you two are back.” Sam exclaimed, striding down the hall to meet them.

  


“What’s going on?” Steve asked, already snapping back into Captain mode.

  


“Seven hours ago all the systems in the compound dropped for sixty seconds. When they came back online, well guess who’d snuck out?” Sam asked.

  


“Tell me you’re kidding Wilson.” Bucky snarled.

  


“Nope, she really did just up and leave again. Tony and Bruce went straight after her. Romanov and Barton are trying to get Fury to help with the search. We have no leads. She didn’t leave a note or clue. She just disappeared.” Sam said, disgruntlement and worry in his tone.

  


“If the systems were down how do you know she left of her own free will, how do we know she wasn’t taken.” Steve said, asking the question Bucky was afraid to.

  


“Just as the systems came back online one of the camera’s on the very edge of the perimeter caught a second of footage of her. She waved at the camera. Waved. At. The. Camera.” Sam explained.

  


Bucky turned to Steve.

  


“I’m going to murder her. I’m going to hunt her down and murder her then drag her back here and lock her in one of the cells.” Bucky told him.

  


“Oh I’m going to help you.” Sam offered helpfully.

  


“Calm down, we don’t know that anything bad has happened. She could have just gone for a walk.” Steve supplied reasonably.

  


“For seven hours?” Sam shrieked.

  


“Maybe she needed space. It can’t be easy being under lock and key, constantly under supervision. We can’t automatically assume something is wrong.” Steve argued.

  


“Yeah, it’s not like she has at least two evil organizations hunting her down.” Bucky snapped.

  


“Well what did Tony say?” Steve asked Sam.

  


“Nothing, he and Bruce went flying away as soon as they realised she was gone. Tony will be going out of his mind with worry. Romanov is saying everything is under control and calling Fury every ten seconds.” Sam said.

  


“Alright, keep an eye on the internet. She’s pretty well known now so if anyone sees her they will most likely post about it online. Tony and Bruce are already out there so there’s not much we can do except hold down the fort and be ready to go if and when we are needed.” Steve instructed.

  


Bucky stormed away, unable to stand there any longer. He was furious, with her and himself. He’d got so caught up in his happy feelings he’d managed to forget just how utterly infuriating she could be. He needed nothing bad to be going on but at the same time, if he found out she had snuck away and sent them all into a panic just because she’d gone to get doughnuts or something ridiculous he really was going to kill her. Whatever reason she had for doing this, it had better be a good one.

  


  


\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

  


  


As you strangled a guard with a wire you reminded yourself you were doing this for a good reason. The lives of so many people who were already suffering were on the line. You’d seen the photo’s of the corpses of the test subjects of the virus. You were the only thing standing between those innocent people and an excruciating death.

  


The guard finally slumped over and you waited a few seconds to be sure he wasn’t faking before you released him. He thumped to the ground and you wiped the sweat off your brow. You had placed most of the explosives in the right places and made your way towards the labs where the security was tighter. You were currently in a large garage, filled with more expensive sports cars than even Tony owned. It was basically a hanger. You slipped one of the last two explosives under a shiny green Dodge Viper and stealthily made your way out of the garage and into the hall that led to the labs.

  


As you peeked around the corridor you realised there were several problems. There was a clear glass wall along the wall of the adjoining corridor that had glass doors along it leading to the labs. The corridor was guarded by two men on either side and a female guard in the middle. The walls separating the various labs were made of glass, leaving clear line of sight for all the scientists, technicians and assistants milling about. There was no possible way to sneak in undetected.

  


If you were willing to ditch your tac suit maybe you could find a lab coat and impersonate a lab assistant but that was risky for two reasons. One, the guards would likely know everyone who worked there by sight and you would stick out and two, you were Tony freaking Starks daughter…

  


Natasha would have gotten into the lab by now, easily. Stealth was her forte but it was not yours. You weren’t created to be subtle, you were created to be explosive. Where Natasha was a scalpel, you were a chainsaw. Both deadly, both lethally sharp but very different.

  


Natasha was an excellent role model to have but you weren’t her. You needed to stop thinking how she would do this mission and think how _you_ could do it. It was time to be a chainsaw.

  


With your gun raised you stepped around the corridor and shot the first guard before he knew what was happening. You shot the woman next, knowing at least one of the two remaining guards was going to get a shot off at you and she the man was further away, his aim wouldn’t be as good. The woman fell to the ground and you leaned to the side, the bullet whizzing towards you hitting you in the shoulder rather than the chest. You didn’t even flinch at the pain, shooting the final guard in the heart like he’d tried to do to you.

  


The people inside the labs had definitely noticed the commotion if their screaming was any indication but just to be sure you shot out the glass wall of the middle lab, where the virus was. You kept your gun trained on the people inside as you stepped onto the shattered glass. With a careful eye on them you made your way over to the storage fridge where the various vials were stored. Out of the corner of your eye you quickly scanned the labels until you saw the one you needed. You slammed your elbow into the glass, smashing it and grabbed the vial carefully.

  


You saluted the terrified scientists and quickly hurried back out of the lab, stepping over the guards bodies in the hall. Someone finally sprang into action and an alarm sounded, the lights flashing red as the klaxon blared throughout the whole property.

  


Slipping the vial safely under your shirt you grimaced and did what you had known you would have to do the second you stepped around the corner and detonated the building while you were still inside it as you sprinted back down the corridor.

  


As the explosions simultaneously occurred in various rooms around the mansion the windows at the side of the garage shattered outwards as you drove through them, your thighs straddling the powerful motorbike you had just stolen/rescued. As you sped away you looked over your shoulder to see the gaudy, awful, over compensating monstrosity of a mansion crumble as the flames shot towards the heavens. In the movies the hero never looked back at the explosion but you did, you looked back and an exhilarated laugh burst from you as you sped away.

  


Three miles away there was a clearing and as you approached the cloaked quinjet shimmered and became visible. Without missing a beat you drove up the ramp and braked, screeching to a halt.

  


“Well Fury, you owe me a drink. Mission successfully executed.” You said with a grin.

  


“Missions not done until you’re back here. Where are you?” Fury asked.

  


“I’m in the quinjet.”

  


“Then care to explain why the tracking device in your comms says your six miles away?”

  


“Oh, sorry for the confusion. I’m in the Avengers quinjet.” You told him.

  


Tony grinned at you and ruffled your hair.

  


“Consider this payback for you hacking my security and trying to lead my daughter astray.” Tony called out to Fury through you comms.

  


Explaining the situation to Tony in less than five minutes before you ‘snuck’ out of the compound hadn’t been easy but you had managed. What Fury had been unaware of was the second comm unit you had on you that Tony, Bruce, Natasha and Clint had been using to listen to everything that had happened.

  


“Stark, younger Stark. You played me.” Fury said, he sounded tired and you almost felt sorry for him.

  


“Not exactly, I did what you asked. I completed the mission. But you want to reverse engineer a cure for this virus and I happen to know one of the smartest scientists in the world. Call this me taking initiative.” You told him while you carefully handed the deadly vial over to Bruce.

  


“What part of ‘secret’ mission was too difficult for you to understand Miss Stark?” Fury demanded.

  


“The part where I had to trust you. Because I don’t. Not with something as dangerous as you say this virus is. You were wrong about me, I don’t need my daddy’s permission but my dad is one of the greatest heroes on the planet and I do want him watching my back. So next time you think about trying to manipulate me remember this Mr Furious... I am not a pawn and I’ve spent too long being manipulated and controlled. I’m a Stark, I do whatever the hell I want.” You announced, pulling comm from your ear and flinging out the back of the quinjet.

  


“Let’s go home.” You told a proud Tony.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bucky: *listening to 'Ain't No Sunshine' and gazing out the window.  
> Bucky: *Sighs*  
> Bucky: When will my girlfriend return from war?  
> Steve: Should we do something?  
> Sam: We should just kill him and put him out of our misery.
> 
> Natasha: Oh did I forget to mention she was fine? Oops.


	20. Obstacles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> VERY VERY NSFW! Proceed with caution for here be smut. And this is the last official smut warning, from here on out it may or may not be anywhere. Like a kinky easter egg hunt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In honor of chapter 20 and the two-week anniversary of me starting this fic, have le smut!

When you got back to the compound all you wanted to do was throw your exhausted self into bed. But first you had to make your way past the various obstacles.

  


Obstacle number one came in the form of a former Soviet spy. Natasha had emotionally congratulated you with pride. By which you mean she had wordlessly handed you a bottle of expensive Russian vodka and gave you a nod of approval.

  


Obstacle number two was being dragged down to medical to have a bullet dug out of your shoulder by Bruce. The bullet wasn’t deep but it still stung when he pulled it out. Natasha’s vodka had helped distract you, even through Bruce’s disapproving glare. He carefully wrapped it and gave you the all clear.

  


Obstacle number three was Clint, who high fived you then fussed when you winced because you’d idiotically used your injured arm to return the high five. Clint only left you alone after extracting a solemn promise from you to eat something before you rested.

  


Obstacle number four was Steve who insisted on a post-mission briefing, which Clint and Natasha sat in on. When you got to the part about choosing to take a bullet in the shoulder to complete your objective Clint cuffed you over the back of the head. Steve opened his mouth to lecture you but you cut him off.

  


“Don’t even bother, Mr 'I’m going to crash this plane into the Atlantic'.” You snapped.

  


Natasha and Clint sniggered and Steve had the good sense to look bashful and let you carry on with your report. When he finally, finally let you go you ran into the next obstacle.

  


Obstacle number four was the worst one. Sam ‘I’m your best friend but I act like your mother’ Wilson. Turns out Natasha and Clint had opted not to tell anyone else where you were, apparently deciding it was safer. Personally you just thought they had derived amusement from the situation. Sam had been frantic with worry and had squeezed you like you were a tube of toothpaste he was trying to get the last smidge out of. He then spent ten minutes checking your shoulder, even calling Banner in the lab to get his assurance you were ok before you were finally set free. Even then there were more promises extracted about eating and resting.

  


Obstacle number five was convincing your dad that he did not need to throw you a “Baby’s first solo mission” party. You’d literally had a party the day before you protested. Eventually, you gave up and sicced Pepper on him, trusting her to take care of it.

  


Obstacle number six was a bust. You’d knocked on Bucky’s door but there was no answer. You sighed heavily and gave up, trudging back to your own room where a bath awaited you before you slept for hopefully at least three days.

  


The second you stepped into your room the skin on the back of your neck prickled. Someone was in there. The light flicked on to reveal Bucky, leaning against the wall and glaring at you. You swallowed nervously and pulled something out of your pocket.

  


“I brought you back a motorbike?” You said, dangling the keys from your hand with a hopeful look.

  


He stalked towards you, his eyes never leaving your face. He stood in front of you and you nervously looked up at him.

  


“Is this going to be a pattern, I kiss you and you run away, straight into danger?” He said lowly and you knew you had to be careful what you said next.

  


“To be fair, you left first this time. And I wasn’t in danger. Much danger. Well ok, a bit of danger but I only got shot once. It was fine.” You insisted.

  


“You were shot?” He growled.

  


Your eyes darted down to your shoulder and he furiously yanked down the zipper of your tact suit and pushed it off your shoulder so he could see the bandages. Your breathing stuttered as he brushed his metal fingers over the bandages so lightly you couldn’t feel the touch. You could see the anger in his eyes and the taut way he was holding himself. He was desperately trying to contain his ire and you could see the effort he was putting into it. His fingers reached the edge of the bandages and continued over your skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake as he closed hand over your throat.

  


He didn’t squeeze, he wasn’t hurting you, he was simply holding you in place.

  


“What were you thinking?” He demanded.

  


“That I had a job to do. So I did it.”

  


His hand squeezed ever so softly, putting a minute amount of pressure on you and your heart started thundering in your chest. His reaction was starting to piss you off and you felt the familiar burn of anger in your blood.

  


“Who do you think you are, reprimanding me for doing the right thing?” You snapped.

  


“Someone who doesn’t want to see you hurt.” He snapped back.

  


“We kiss twice and you suddenly think you have the right to tell me what to do? Fuck you James.” You spat.

  


“Fuck me?” He repeated and yanked your zipper all the way down, exposing your stomach and bra, allowing the cool air to hit your exposed flesh.

  


“If you insist.” He growled and his mouth was on yours, his kiss possessive and demanding.

  


His flesh hand slipped under the tactical suit to squeeze your bare hip and pull you against him. You moaned softly into his mouth and he drank up the small sound, his tongue darting past your lips to battle for dominance with yours. It was a battle you happily lost as he took control of the kiss once again. He rapidly pulled away and his hands left you, slamming into the wall on either side of your head as he leaned down to look at you, his eyes wild and his chest heaving.

  


“Tell me to stop.” He stated.

  


Your own chest was rising and falling at a rapid pace and your skin was burning hot all over your body. You shifted lightly on your feet and felt the slick wetness that had gathered between your legs.

  


“No.” You decreed.

  


That was all he needed to hear. He pushed the tactical suit from your shoulders, leaving your upper body exposed but for your underwear and with a hungry growl he dipped his head down to bury his face in your cleavage, his hands gripping your hips. The tip of his tongue licked a stripe down the space between your breasts as his hands slipped around to your back and down so he could squeeze your ass.

  


“Up.” He commanded.

  


You happily obliged, jumping up and wrapping your legs around him and pulling his head down so you could kiss him again. Your fingers tangled in his hair as his hands gripped your ass tightly, bordering on painful and he pulled you tightly into his body and thrust his hips against you. You gasped loudly and threw your head back at the delightful, unexpected friction.

  


He placed gentle kisses along your jaw and exposed throat as he started walking towards the bed. One hand slid up your bare back, caressing your skin until his hand found your bra strap and he deftly unhooked it. You pulled your fingers from his hair and slipped the straps down your arms, mindful of your shoulder and pulled the garment off, flinging it somewhere in the room.

  


There was no hesitation on your part, no fear at being so exposed. Your brain was far too fuzzy for such thoughts. All you could think about was Bucky, the feel of him against you. You didn’t know what exactly you needed but you knew only he could give it to you.

  


He pushed your back down onto the bed as he knelt on the mattress, leaving your naked breasts exposed to his gaze. The groan of desire that slipped out of his throat went straight to your core and you arched your back, squeezing your thighs around him tightly.

  


“Doll, you’re so fucking beautiful.” He whispered, his voice heavy with desire.

  


He ran his hands up your stomach to rest them a hairsbreadth under your cleavage. Your head tilted back and your eyes fluttered shut at the sensation. His breath ghosted over your skin and you looked down to see him leaning over your torso, his eyes locked on yours as he lowered his lips to your right nipple and ever so gently kissed it. The smallest of whimpers escaped you and he smirked and repeated the motion on your left.

  


“Please.” You begged.

  


His lips parted and you felt his breath before the mouth closed around your nipple and his tongue swirled around the delicate nub as simultaneously his metal hand moved north, his fingers gently but expertly rubbing at your other breast. The sensation of his warm mouth on one nipple and his cold fingers on the other was divine and intense.

  


You gripped his shoulders tightly as he teased you with his mouth and his fingers, sometimes licking or sucking at your peaks, sometimes pressing heavy kisses to the flesh around them. Small moans and whimpers were falling unbidden from you and your nails dug into his shirt as he shifted up your body to kiss your lips once again before he leaned back, leaving you cold and untouched.

  


You winced in displeasure and tried to follow him but he kept you pinned to the bed with one large hand pressed against your stomach. His other hand crept along your thigh and he prised it from his waist so he could step back. He made quick work of your combat boots and removed them and rested his hands on your ankles where they slowly, teasingly made the journey back up your legs.

  


Your eyes followed the path his hands were taking, transfixed as he gripped the edge of your suit and peeled it down your legs. Now you were lying before him in with nothing but a flimsy pair of panties to cover you.

  


He put one hand behind his head and gripped the neck of his shirt, pulling it off one-handed. His chest was contoured and smooth, his abs ridged and perfect and your eyes were drawn to the sharp v of his hips and the thin trail of hair that led below his waistband. Like you were in a trance you sat up and crawled to the edge of the bed, reaching out to touch the perfection before you. Bucky’s sharp intake of breath when you touched him had you looking up at him in alarm but he was looking back at you with sheer adoration and lust.

  


You traced every single contour and ridge as your hands traveled up his body, marveling at how good he felt under your hands. When you reached the scar tissue your fingers traced it with the same reverence and affection you had shown to his chest. You slipped your arm around the back of his neck and pulled him to you, kissing him gently on the lips, You pulled away before he could deepen the kiss and pressed your lips to his jaw. You followed the sharp edge of it and kissed the tender spot where his jaw met his neck, just under his ear as his fingers ran lightly along your spine.

  


As you kissed down his neck you felt his pulse thundering under your lips and instinctively your tongue darted out to taste his skin. His chest vibrated against yours as he growled and you smirked against his skin as you gently sucked at his pulse point. His hands kneaded into your back and spurred you on and bravely you gently bit down on the tender spot.

  


You felt him throw his head back in ecstasy and with a sense of pride you continued your oral exploration of him, letting your lips and tongue travel down the path your hands had taken. You kissed, licked and nibbled every single contour of his chest, your teeth lightly grazing his nipples as your tongue flicked over them. With every groan and hiss your confidence grew as you got further down his body until your mouth met the rough denim of his waistband.

  


You looked up at him as you kissed the spot right above the button on his jeans, his eyes were dark and his pupils blown. All the breath in his lungs was pushed out in a powerful exhale when you pushed your tongue under the coarse material, tasting the skin hidden just under the waistband.

  


His fingers seized your hips and you were suddenly thrown backwards, your back hitting the mattress, your breasts bouncing with the impact. He crawled towards you like a predator, graceful, mesmerizing and dangerous. His hands shot out and gripped your calves, prizing them wide apart as he knelt between them.

  


“You’re a tease.” He accused you.

  


You were too consumed by lust to reply as he leaned forward and kissed the inside of your thigh.

  


“Vengeance tastes so fucking sweet though darlin.” He told you as he continued his torturous kisses up your inner thigh.

  


When he reached the apex of your thighs, the place you wanted him most he skipped over it, kissing his way back down your opposite thigh.

  


“Tell you what, keep these pretty legs wide open for me and I might give you what you need.” He instructed and you nodded hastily, spreading your legs as wide as you could for him.

  


“Good girl.” He praised and dipped his face down to hover over your core.

  


He trapped your gaze in his and without breaking eye contact he pressed a firm but fleeting kiss to your soaked panties, right over your throbbing clit.

The moan you gave in response was downright pornographic and he smirked wickedly at you, his fingers slipping under the material at your hips and ripping it without hesitation. The cool air washed over your exposed, wet cunt.

  


His eyes took in every inch of you, traveling hungrily up your heaving chest to your desperate eyes.

  


“You’re so perfect.” He said reverently, in awe.

  


The honesty in his tone startled you and you realized he truly believed it. You opened your mouth to respond but all thoughts were chased out of your mind when you felt him settle between your legs. He lightly brushed his lips over your outer lips and you gasped softly at the unfamiliar but incredible sensation.

  


“Bucky,” You whimpered.

  


He teased you without a shred of mercy, his mouth moving over you but never making contact with your soaking wet pussy. His metal arm settled over your stomach, holding you down as he ran his tongue right over the centre of your core, along your slit, a millimeter away from actually touching you.

  


You had never felt so desperate before, your every nerve ending was alight and you were quite literally trembling with desire.

  


“Bucky please.” You pleaded.

  


“What do you want babydoll? Tell me.”

  


“Anything. Everything. Please, please just OHHH”

  


Bucky’s pressed the tip of his tongue against you, circling around your clit before his lips closed around it. Moans loudly fell from you as one hand flew down to grip his hair, the other going behind you to grab at the edge of the headboard as tongue lavished attention on your clit for a few seconds before withdrawing so he could suck at it, he repeated the pattern until you were writing underneath him, your hips thrusting upwards. You were tugging roughly on his hair and he groaned, his mouth vibrating against you.

  


As the pressure built inside you he abandoned your clit in favor of exploring your hole with his tongue, tentatively pushing his tongue inside you, when you responded with a cry of pleasure he pushed further in, exploring you in a way you’d never experienced as he lapped at every drop of your juices.

  


His name fell from your lips repeatedly as his ministrations drove you wild. Before you fell screaming over the edge he withdrew and you whimpered at the loss. You watched as he sat back on his heels and unbuttoned his jeans. His hair was tousled and his lips were swollen and wet, a thin sheen of sweat covering his chest and you nearly came at the sight of him looking so sinful. He pushed his jeans down and pulled them off, throwing them behind him as his eyes devoured you as greedily as yours devoured him.

  


He rose to his knees and towered over you and your eyes immediately flicked down to the extremely prominent bulge in his boxers. You could see the outline of his hard cock straining against the material. He was long and thick and your heart skipped a beat at the sight. Whether from fear or lust you couldn’t quite say.

  


“Are you sure you wanna do this doll?” He asked you seriously, edges of concern leaking through the sheer desire in his voice.

  


You didn’t answer, just shifted until you could sit up in front of his kneeling form. Looking up at him with wide eyes you slid your hands up the back of his thighs and over his firm, perfect ass and squeezed it at the same second you leaned in and kissed the solid outline of his shaft through the material. He groaned and cradled the back of your head, twisting his fingers into your hair and yanking, pulling your head back so you were looking up at him.

  


“I need an answer. A verbal one.” He commanded.

  


“I want you.” You told him.

  


His expression was ferocious and carnal as he nodded his assent and you slipped your fingers under the elastic of his boxers and tugged them down. An eager moan fell from your lips, seeing the outline of him through the material had not prepared you for seeing him in all his glory.

  


His cock was indeed thick and large, curving slightly towards his body. There was a throbbing vein running along the underside of him from base to tip and his head was wet with pre-cum making it shine. You ran your tongue along that enticing vein slowly, basking the act. His fingers in your hair tightened painfully but you barely registered it as you wrapped your hand around him and kissed his tip. His stomach muscles contracted and he yanked on your hair, pulling you up his body so his lips could violently collide with yours.

  


His kiss was brutal and demanding as he swiftly lowered the two of you to the bed so you were lying beneath him, his lips never once leaving yours. His hand found it’s way between your bodies as his cock pressed against your inner thigh and his fingers slipped between your legs, quickly and lightly dipping inside you. He didn’t push far inside you, just used the tips of two of his fingers to lightly thrust into you.

  


Somewhere in your clouded mind you registered the cool metal feeling of them as he moved them to your swollen clit, using your bodies natural lubrication that was coating the vibranium digits to rub smooth circles over your sensitive nub.

  


He swallowed every moan as his lips moved against yours, his tongue dancing against yours as his fingers worked you over. The pleasure quickly became too intense and he moved his mouth to your throat as you writhed under the hard body pressed against you. His name slipped from your mouth over and over again as the pressure inside you built to uncontainable levels and with a final shuddering cry of his name your body arched off the bed and you came.

 

The orgasm rushed through you, covering every inch of your skin in goosebumps and pleasure took over your already hazy brain. Incoherent noises sprang forth from your lips and somewhere in the midst of the all-consuming pleasure you registered the sharp sting of pain and unbearable fullness as Bucky worked his cock inside your pulsating pussy. Rather than detract from your orgasm or stop it the pain and distant knowledge he was inside you fed it, and for a few long moments the sheer unadulterated bliss was the only thing you knew.

  


Slowly you came back down to earth, Bucky’s voice whispering soothing platitudes in your ear guiding you. He was fully sheathed inside you, carefully staying still as his cock stretched the walls of your cunt. It burned painfully and even though the last drops of pleasure were still trickling through you, tears formed in the corners of your eyes.

  


“I’ve got you sweetheart, I’ve got you.” He assured you softly as he kissed you sweetly.

  


He stayed there patiently, holding himself completely still until your body adjusted to him properly. The burn was still there but it was fainter and you could feel the pleasure replacing it. You rolled your hips once, gently and gasped at the divine sensation it wrought. Bucky hissed and clenched his jaw when you moved and his eyes met yours.

  


He saw only desire there and he cupped your cheek, keeping you looking into his eyes as he carefully withdrew from you slightly, gently rocking back in. Your noises of pleasure spurred him on and he repeated the motion, withdrawing a little bit more every time he pulled his hips back. When you started rolling your hips to meet him he thrusted into you a little faster. The more he moved the better it felt and with every withdraw and thrust he picked up speed, the wetness from your pussy allowing him to glide in and out of you with ease.

  


Your eyes rolled back in your head at the sensation of his cock dragging in and out of you, at the friction it was causing inside you. Your hips tilted and you met him thrust for thrust, urging him on as you moaned loudly. One of his hands wrapped around your knee, pushing it back and spreading you open for him further as he snapped his hips forward, slamming into you. Your hands gripped his back tightly, your nails running along his flesh as you screamed his name.

  


The new angle let him hit a spot deep inside you that had you saying his name like a prayer and to your surprise you felt the pressure growing inside you again. He repeatedly slammed his cock into you, grinding against you at the end of every thrust and you felt his back muscles contract under your fingers as the pleasure began to cloud your mind again.

  


“James, oh god James.” You uttered.

  


He growled like a man possessed at the sound of his real name and drove into you with wild abandon, your own name falling from his lips among small grunts of bliss.

  


Your spine bowed dramatically, pushing your breasts into his chest and he attached his lips to your neck.

  


“Come for me doll.” he ordered and you obeyed.

  


Your body snapped like a violin string and intense waves of white hot ecstasy crashed into you and over you as Bucky’s hips stuttered and his own orgasm collided with yours as your pussy convulsed around his cock and pulled every last drop of cum from him. You felt the warm spurts coat your insides and the bliss became too much, too intense but somehow still perfectly right.

  


A shuddering breath ripped itself from your lungs as Bucky panted above you and you looked into his eyes as the powerful orgasm cooled.

  


The gravity of the situation hit you. You had just lost your virginity to James Buchanan Barnes. And as he yet again captured your lips in a kiss you realised that now you’d had a taste of him, you didn’t think you’d ever stop wanting another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Annabellelee13194 ------  
> Reader: I'm sorry I ran away, will you forgive me if I give you a motorbike?  
> Bucky: Absolutely not.  
> Reader: How about my virginity?  
> Bucky: Deal. 
> 
> For Everyone Else -------  
> Please don't have unprotected sex unless it's been agreed between you and a partner and you've taken the necessary tests and precautions. This PSA has been brought to you by my parents who were not prepared for my existence.


	21. A Kitten In A Birds Nest

It was kind of a relief to realize that the more things changed, the more they stayed the same. You may have handed your virginity over on a sliver platter to him and enjoyed every second but make no mistake, You absolutely _hated_ Bucky Barnes.

  


“Bucky, get up!” You hissed at him.

  


Yes, waking up in his arms had been the most transcendent experience of your life. His warmth had surrounded you all night so even deep in sleep you knew you were safe and protected. His arms, one metal, one flesh had cocooned you perfectly, never too tight. Seeing his sleeping face, his expression peaceful and his hair spread over your pillow when you opened your eyes had made a warm fuzzy feeling blossom in your chest.

  


Then you had looked at the time. It was past dawn and since most days you were woken up by someone walking into your room, he could not be here. He was awake, there was no way he wasn’t. You’d been whisper shouting at him for the last few minutes as you raced around the room, picking up his clothes.

  


“I swear to god Barnes!”

  


Still nothing. He was defiantly ignoring you and you’d had enough. Standing over him you attempted to shove at his shoulder but suddenly there was a sensation of falling and the whole room was spinning. You blinked at at Bucky in surprise. You were flat on your back on the bed, his forearms resting on either side of your head while his body hovered over yours.

  


“What the fuck Bucky?”

  


He didn’t answer, just lazily nuzzled into your neck. You realized with a start that Bucky Barnes was adorably sleepy and was trying to buy your silence with affection.

  


“You have to go to your own room.” You whined half heartedly.

  


“You got shot doll, nobody is going to want to wake you up this early.” He groused, his voice thick with sleep.

  


“But if they do...” You stuttered, his stubble was rubbing against the skin of your neck and it was distracting.

  


“If they do, what?” He asked.

  


“They’ll see you.”

  


“And?”

  


“That would be bad, very very bad.” You sighed.

  


He lifted his head to look at you. There was a flash of hurt in his eyes.

  


“James...”

  


“I get it, can’t have people thinking you don’t hate me.” He said and rolled off at you.

  


You were suddenly very cold and it wasn’t just because of the loss of his body heat.

  


“Nobody can know this happened, because of Tony’s parents.” You stated and he stilled.

  


It was something you had never discussed or brought up with him before.

  


“Because I killed them.” He said sadly, resignedly.

  


“Because Hydra killed them and they used you to do it.” You corrected.

  


“It was still me. And Tony Starks daughter could never be with the man who murdered his parents.”

  


“He knows it wasn’t you, he does. He’s not angry, he doesn’t hate you. But the last the last thing his parents saw was your face and thats something he can’t forget. Every time he look at you he remembers it and it hurts him. I can’t risk him feeling that way when he looks at me Bucky, I can’t.” Your eyes were wet as you pleaded with him to understand.

  


“Don’t worry doll, Tony will never know you’ve been tainted by me. I’ll just be your dirty little secret.” He snapped, pulling his jeans on.

  


The tears spilled down your cheeks when you heard the way he said those words. Such anger and loathing but it wasn’t aimed at you, it was all for himself.

  


“Buck wait that’s not what I, Bucky stop!” You yelled the last part when he headed for the door.

  


You didn’t know what to say, you had just wanted to stop him leaving like this. So you tried honesty, you let your feeling pour out, unfiltered.

  


“Tony didn’t have to rescue me, he could have let the X-Men do it. He didn’t have to keep me or give me a home, he didn’t have to be so fucking patient with me. He never once snapped at me when I was asking him benign questions every five seconds or when I followed him everywhere, he didn’t make me feel weird when I crawled under his desk or wouldn’t go into a room without listening at the door first. I was freak, a broken thing and he took me in and he didn’t fix me, he stood by me and helped me fix myself. I can’t hurt him Bucky, I just can’t. But I never meant to hurt you either.”

  


He looked back at you and his eyes were so full of pain it knocked the breath from your lungs.

  


“You deserve better than me anyway sweetheart. No hard feelings.”

  


And then he was gone. You wanted to chase after him, to scream at him for saying such things about himself, to kiss him and show him how much you cared. But you just sat on the bed and cried because sometimes, when you hurt someone, you can’t fix it.

  


  


\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

  


  


Eventually hunger drove you from the sanctity of your room. Your heart was aching and you felt heavy with regret and grief. You dragged yourself to the kitchen with a blanket round your shoulders, the soft cotton acting like a shield between you and the world. You raided the cupboards for some protein bars and grabbed a bottle of water before trudging back to your room.

  


You were so distracted by your grief you didn’t even notice Natasha watched you from the sofa, noting your dejected body language. Her eyes narrowed in suspicion as you waddled away. Something was wrong with you and she was going to figure out what.

  


“Post mission blues?” She called out.

  


You paused before poking you head back through the door, you eyes red and puffy.

  


“I’m fine. Just tired.” You croaked and scurried away before she could call you out on your lie.

  


You heard her get up knew she was following you so. Natasha could read someone with a single look, she was like a ninja Sherlock Holmes. You couldn’t face her right now so like the brave super soldier mutant you were you ran away, your blanket flapping behind you like a cape.

  


You raced along the corridors searching for somewhere to hide, you obviously couldn’t go back to your room now. You couldn’t go to the lab, your dad would want to know what was wrong. In fact you couldn’t hide out in someone else’s room for the same reason.

  


“Psst.” Someone said.

  


You craned your neck back to see Clint leaning out of the vent in the ceiling.

  


“Hiding from Nat?”

  


“How did you know?”

  


“Nat’s the only one who could put such a fearful look on someone’s face.” he explained, offering you a hand.

  


You only had a few seconds max before Natasha caught up but if you accepted you’d be stuck in the vents with Clint. Who was much more gullible and easier to lie to. Or threaten into silence. You shoved your water and protein bars into your pockets and jumped up to grab his hand, letting him pull you into the vents. He replaced the grate and held a finger to his lips to silence you. You peered out of the grate to see a silent red head walk underneath it and internally breathed a sigh of relief.

  


Clint grinned and gave you a thumbs up, pointing behind himself and motioning you to follow. He crawled away and since you didn’t have many other options you followed him. When had your life become this strange? You were following a killer archer through a ventilation system to hide from a deadly former assassin because you didn’t want her to know you’d slept with another deadly former assassin. You couldn’t make this stuff up,It was like some lonely, depressed maniac with an overactive imagination and too much time on her hands was in charge of your decisions……

  


You followed him for a few minutes before he led you a corner that he’d made a nest in and you snorted. He looked back over his shoulder at you with a raised brow.

  


“Sorry, it’s just you have an actual nest.” You chuckled.

  


It’s my man cave, where I come to hide from Natasha. And keep my stuff where Wilson can’t mess with it.” He told you.

  


Sure enough, there were arrows scattered around and piles of magazines and books.

  


He settled down and waved around.

  


“Make yourself at home, me nest su nest.”

  


“Thanks.” You replied, sitting cross legged and pulling your blanket cape around yourself tightly.

  


You dug your protein bars out of your pocket and ripped one open with your teeth but before you could take a bite Clint snatched it out of your hands with a look of disgust.

  


“No. Bad Kitty.” He admonished, bopping you on the nose.

  


You were close to biting his finger off if he tried that again when he shoved a bag of M&M’s into your hands. You cooed happily and tore them open, digging in. Clint grabbed a handful and settled with his back against the wall, watching you thoughtfully.

  


“So what’s got your panties in a bunch?” He asked.

  


You almost flinched at his phrasing but caught yourself. You couldn’t tell him everything but you had to tell him something so you opted for a watered down version of the truth.

  


“I think I might want something I can’t have and I went after it. Now I’ve hurt other people and I don’t know how I could have been so selfish or stupid.” You admitted.

  


“Is this about you going after Docherty alone?” he wondered, perplexed by your vague problem.

  


“Yes…..” You lied.

  


“Well, it was stupid. You messed up but you know you did and you can’t take it back but you can try to do better next time. But it’s a complicated situation and you did what your heart was telling you to do. That doesn’t make you a bad person, even if people got hurt in the process. Those people you’re worried about love you and would do anything for you, they’ll forgive you.” He said.

  


You were both talking about very different problems but someone what he said applied to your situation with Bucky. At least you hoped it did.

  


“If one of your kids did something they knew would hurt you but they didn’t do it _because_ it would hurt you, could you forgive them?” You asked.

  


“It depends on what it was and whether it hurt _them_ I think. I just want my kids to be happy and safe, that’s all that really matters.”

  


“So if it made them happy, really really happy and it would hurt them not to do it… You’d forgive them, even if it hurt you.” You clarified.

  


“As a parent there’s very little your kids could do that you wouldn’t forgive. Even if it breaks your heart, it’s very hard to stay angry at them.”

  


“That’s what I’m afraid of. I’m scared of Tony hating me, being mad at me but I’m more afraid he’d just keep loving me, even when I was causing him pain.” You admitted.

  


“Ok I’m lost. What are we talking about again?”

  


“Nothing Clint, it’s fine.” You sniffled.

  


“Whatever it is, you’ll figure it out. I have faith in you, after everything I’ve seen you achieve.”

  


“Thanks Clint.”

  


“Maybe, if you need advice ask Laura. She’s better at this sort of thing. You and Wanda are still coming for the weekend right? I’m flying us to the farm tomorrow morning.”

  


“You know what? I don’t think this trip could have come at a better time.” You admitted, shoving a handful of M&M’s into your mouth.

  


  


\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

  


After spending a couple of hours in the vents with Clint, throwing M&M’s into each other mouths and seeing who had better aim (him, obviously) you had finally emerged only to land directly in front of a waiting Natasha. You sighed heavily.

  


“Please don’t. Not yet. I promise I’ll tell you what’s wrong, but I can’t yet.” You admitted.

  


“Alright Kotonok, you can tell me at the farm, away from here.” She allowed, offering your hand for you to shake on it.

  


You shook her hand, sealing the pact and knew you would have to admit everything to her soon but at least you had a little bit of time to process it first.

  


You waved at her and headed off to your room, changing into your sweats and a tank top. You weren’t allowed to spar or work out for at least a week, until your shoulder healed up but you figured that you could at least use the treadmill. Even if you weren’t supposed to, what Bruce didn’t know couldn’t hurt you. Besides, you really needed a way to release all the pent up energy inside you, you needed an outlet.

  


The problem was, you weren’t the only one. As soon as you walked into the gym you saw him. He was going to town on a punching bag, like it had personally offended him. Probably imagining your face on it. He stilled as he heard you come in, the muscles on his back tensing. He stood like that for a second before continuing like nothing was wrong.

  


You couldn’t do this, you couldn’t be in the same room as him. Every single cell in your body was begging you to run to him. It was like there a string tied around your heart and he was tugging on it. You turned on your heel and walked back out but you couldn’t bring yourself to just leave without saying anything, there was something he needed to know.

  


“You said I deserved better than you. That’s not true. Even when we were fighting, when I was being cruel to you, you dragged me away from those journalists. You could have just got me away from them and called it your good deed for the day but you took me to the one person who could help me. You had my back in the field, leaving the main fight so I wouldn’t be alone. You have never once mentioned what you must have seen that day, when you saw Vernichtung. You came after me on a date because you were worried about me. You forgave me for hurting you and held my hand at my mothers funeral. I don’t deserve better than you, I don’t even deserve you at all. But Bucky, I want you. I _need_ you.” You told him, sighing and walking away.

  


“You have me.” He whispered, but you were already gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a bitch to write, my confidence took a massive blow today due to some anon prick on Tumblr. I generally can deal with it but I wasn't expecting it and it got to me a lot more than I would have liked but I pushed through and wrote this thing anyway. Because of you guys, because I don't want to let you down. I'm sorry it took me so long to get this up and I won't let it happen again.
> 
> Next Time On Name Calling - Reader and the girls go to the farm and reader finally meets a chicken.   
> P.S I write Clint as a weird blend of MCU Clint and comic Clint, I don’t really know why.


	22. First Day On The Farm

The Barton farm was everything you had expected. It was homely, lived in, comfortable and full of love. Chickens on the other hand were nothing like you had expected, they were loud, smelly, chaotic and strangely violent.

  


“I thought they’d be cuddlier.” You whined petulantly while Laura Barton laughed at your attempts to pick one up.

  


After the third chicken had waddled away squawking indignantly you huffed in annoyance and gave up. Laura took pity on you and softly clicked at one of the blasted birds, enticing it over and firmly picking it up, keeping it’s wings tucked in at it’s sides.

  


“Come and meet your namesake.” She told it, holding it out to you.

  


“Huh?” You asked, tentatively reaching out to stroke the chicken’s feathers.

  


“All of Clint’s friends have a chicken named after them. The rooster is called Fury.” She explained.

  


“You… You named a chicken after me?”

  


“Of course, it was like fate actually. Tony, that’s the one sitting on top of the coop over there, was named when he was just a little chick. Turned out he was actually a she. The day you arrived at the compound Tony hatched an egg, it was the only one of that flock we kept. She’s named after you.”

  


“That is the weirdest and sweetest thing I have ever heard.” You said, studying the chicken that shared your name.

  


“The day you arrived Clint and Natasha knew straight away you were going to be a part of the family.” Laura told you.

  


“They did?”

  


“And they were right. They usually are about these things, don’t tell them I said that.”

  


“Your secret is safe with me.” You assured her.

  


“Clint said you were going through some personal issues. You can just use this place as a bit of escape if that’s what you need, I won’t push. I’m here if you want to talk though.” Laura offered.

  


You liked Laura Barton, she was kind and maternal but gave the distinct impression she was not somebody to be messed with. She actually reminded you a lot of Pepper.

  


“I’m just having parental issues, I’m afraid of messing things up with Tony.” You hesitantly told her.

  


“Tony Stark, who the second he lay eyes on you decided ‘that one, that’s my girl’? I don’t think there’s a thing in the world you could do to mess that up. Trust me, I say this as a mother, Tony couldn’t love you more if he was your biological father. You are his daughter in his heart, where it matters.” She assured you.

  


Like her husband, Laura assumed you were worried about pushing him away.

  


“What if that’s the problem?” You asked.

  


“I don’t follow. The issue is he loves you too much?”

  


“The issue is he would forgive anything I do, when he maybe he shouldn’t. If I do something that causes him pain, he shouldn’t just let me do it. I don’t want to hurt him and I’m scared he’ll let me, just so I’ll be happy.” You admitted.

  


“Sweetheart, that’s not your decision to make. He’s responsible for his own happiness, you can only contribute to it. If Tony decides to pain is worth it to see you happy then that is his choice, and as your father the joy at seeing you happy will be worth the price he has to pay for it. Whatever pain it may cause him he can heal from, but seeing your child in pain is something that cuts a parent to the core.” She told you wisely.

  


“So I should just do what makes me happy and not care about the consequences?” You asked in disbelief.

  


“You should do what is right and trust your dad to take care of himself. Whatever it is, you’re not doing it to deliberately hurt him and you _are_ thinking of the consequences. I’m not giving you the go ahead or saying no to do it, that’s your decision to make.”

  


She’d given you a lot to think about and knew it so she took pity on you and offered you a happy distraction.

  


“Come on, I’ll point out who’s who.” She suggested and began pointing out the different Chicken Doppelgängers of various Avengers.

  


Watching chicken Sam run around after chicken Natasha went a long way to improving your mood. You’d only been here an hour and already the Barton farm was working it’s magic.

  


\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

  


You had never in your life held a baby before today but when Clint had plopped Nathaniel onto your lap you had reacted instinctively, gently putting your arms around the curious one year old who was looking at you with wide eyes, his fist stuffed into his mouth.

  


“Hello, It’s nice to meet you.” You told him seriously.

  


He laughed and pulled his fist out of his mouth, shoving it at your lips.

  


“How kind of you to share.” You snorted.

  


Wanda awed softly at you and you rolled her, turning to glare at Clint as the distinctive shutter sound of a camera clicked. Clint smirked at you and you shook your head fondly at him.

  


“Your daddy is going to get hit isn’t he, would you like to see that hmm?” You mused thoughtfully to the small child.

  


“Yeah!” he exclaimed, unaware of what he was agreeing to and Clint grumbled as Wanda, Natasha and Laura burst out laughing, Nathaniel's amused giggles joining in. You sniggered and handed Laura her son back, squaring up.

  


“Sorry Clint, baby’s orders.” You apologised and he looked alarmed as you slowly stalked towards him.

  


He plastered on an expression of false bravado as you advanced but when you were a foot away his resolve broke and he darted away, making a break for the back door. Everyone promptly broke into another round of laughter as you shot after him and Clint’s yells could be heard all across the farm as you chased him around the fields, slowing your pace so he remained ahead of you.

  


You kept the game up for at least half an hour before ‘giving up’ and letting Clint jog back to the house. You leisurely followed, basking in the sunshine. One of the chicken’s, you thought it might be Steve wandered over and started following you.

  


“Where were you when I was trying to make friends earlier?” You asked him disgruntledly.

  


You and your feathery escort decided to take a break and you perched on a fencepost, tilting your head back and letting the warm sun shine on you. Your chicken buddy curiously pecked the ground at your feet as you just enjoyed the moment.

  


You heard Natasha’s approach before you saw her, ducking your head back down to squint at her.

  


“What’s up?” You greeted her.

  


“Bucky has quite the crush on you.” She informed you and you somehow managed to choke on air.

  


She raised an eyebrow at you in amusement.

  


“Or at least I think it’s Bucky, might be Steve. I can never tell them apart.” She said, nodding towards the chicken at your feet who was currently pecking at the material of your jeans.

  


“Oh you bitch.” You accused her.

  


“Don’t hate me just because you’re an open book.” She teased, coming to lean next to you on the fence.

  


“You ready to have that talk now?” She said, wording it like a question even though you both knew it wasn’t.

  


No you weren’t ready but at the same time you were dying to talk about it. Your own mind wasn’t providing much assistance on the complicated issue and you really needed another opinion.

  


“BuckyandIslepttogether.” You blurted.

  


For probably the first and last time Natasha looked shocked.

  


“What? Already? You’re way ahead of schedule.” She said and you turned you head slowly to glare at her.

  


“You scheduled me losing my virginity?”

  


“Of course. You were supposed to realise how you felt in the safe house and then become even more unbearably violent towards each other for a few weeks while you both denied your feelings before you got it on when the elevator broke down, trapping you together for a few hours.” She informed you.

  


“You’re a psychopath.” You muttered, horrified.

  


“No, I just knew how useless the two of you were at confronting your own emotions. He was brainwashed for 70 years to kill on command and you were raised to start and finish the apocalypse. Neither of you was equipped to fall in love so it was inevitable you were going to fall for each other.” She explained.

  


“You were going to lock us in an elevator?”

  


“For your own good, now I don’t have to. So who made the first move, how was it and why are you moping?”

  


“I’m not telling you anything you creep.” You told her.

  


Natasha punched you on the arm and you yelped.

  


“He made the first move, It was life-changing and incredible and it can never happen again because he was the weapon used to murder my grandparents.” You spouted.

  


“Start from the beginning, don’t leave out any details.” She sighed.

  


So you did, you told her everything, starting from the cruel jibe you’d overheard him saying to Steve. You told her the whole story.

  


Most of it she already knew but there were a few surprises for her, her eyebrows shot up when you told her about the encounter in the elevator where you’d discovered Bucky had been said your name in the heat of the moment but she said nothing while you spoke.

  


It felt good to say it all out loud, you hadn’t realised how much you were keeping locked up inside. When you were finished you felt lighter.

  


“You drugged him, in the middle of a make out session. Oh Kotonok, I’m so proud.”

  


You snorted.

  


“Tony will forgive you, maybe not straight away but he’ll come around once he see’s how much you love Barnes.” She said.

  


“I don’t _love_ him Nat, I just… I care about him yes, I want him, I want to be around him. But love is too strong a word.” You protested.

  


Natasha gave you a look that said she didn’t quite believe you.

  


“Maybe you could, but you’ll never know if you don’t try. And if being with him makes you happy then you should be with him. Maybe you’ll find love and it will be worth telling Tony or maybe you’ll realise you don’t love him and there will be no reason to tell Tony.” She reasoned.

  


“I can’t sneak around behind Tony’s back like that.” You said, aghast.

  


“Why not? It’s a right of passage, all children date someone their parents don’t approve of. And if Barnes makes you happy but would upset Tony, then keeping it a secret is the right thing to do.”

  


“How can you make something bad sound like a moral obligation? Do you also sell sand in the desert?” You asked.

  


“Seashells on the beach actually.”

  


You shook your head and mulled it over. Could you go behind Tony’s back and betray him like this? Natasha made it sound so easy and maybe it was. You and Bucky would be able to be together and Tony would be blissfully unaware.

  


Just being in Bucky’s presence made life more exciting, especially now that there was more than just hatred between the two of you. Now that you’d slept together your skin thrummed at the mere thought of him and your body was constantly craving his touch.

  


The hurt you’d seen in his eyes when you pushed him away would haunt you for the rest of your life and you wanted to punch him and kiss him at the same time for thinking so little of himself. You didn’t want to treat him like a dirty little secret, you wanted to protect the precious thing the two of you could have from anyone who could ruin it.

  


The problem was, were you telling the truth when you said you didn’t love him? No, you weren’t, and you knew it. Deep down you knew it and maybe one day you could admit it to yourself.

  


“I’ll think about it.” You conceded.

  


“Good, that’s all I ask.” She said.

  


She punched you in the arm again.

  


“OW! What the fuck Natasha?”

  


“That’s for keeping secrets from me.”

  


\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

  


Lila and Cooper were quite a formidable match for their parents when it came to escaping the dreaded bedtime. You and Wanda were sat on the deck, curled up on a porch swing with wine (yours spiked with Asgardian liquor Natasha had pilfered from Thor for you) and listening into to the children's protests that they wanted to play with you both. Natasha had wandered away to do secret spy things, at least that’s what you assumed.

  


The spiked wine was warming your chest and belly and combined with the fun and exhausting day you had had, it was making you feel incredibly relaxed.

  


“Your mood is much better now.” Wanda noted.

  


“I’m sorry if it’s been affecting you lately.” You apologised.

  


“It’s not your fault, and it has not been so bad. There has been a lot of sadness and anger yes, but a lot of hope and love as well.” She said.

  


You sipped the wine, the powerful Asgardian punch it packed loosening you tongue.

  


“That sounds about right, hope and love. I think I might have found both.” You hummed happily.

  


“Do either of you want to come tell the kids a bedtime story, it’s the only way I could get them to go to bed.” Clint begged, popping his head out of the kitchen door.

  


“I will go.” Wanda said before you could, pointing at your wine glass with an amused grin.

  


“I’m tipsy.” You told Clint with a huge grin.

  


“I can see that.” He snickered.

  


He took Wanda’s seat on the porch swing and you leaned your head on his shoulder.

  


“It’s wonderful here. Your family is amazing.” You told him honestly.

  


“Yeah, they are.” He said with pride.

  


“I can’t believe you named a chicken after me.” You chuckled.

  


“Everyone has one, all my friends and family. That includes you.”

  


“I didn’t even have a name until a little while ago, now I do and I get to share it. It’s nice, it’s good.” You decided.

  


Clint ruffled your hair affectionately.

  


“I’m happy.” You said, sighing wistfully.

  


“I’m glad. You deserve to be.” He said solemnly.

  


You stayed like that, your head on his shoulder and relaxed as you watched the sun set, lighting the farm up in a stunning array of colours as the shadows grew and darkness fell.

  


“I think I have feelings for Bucky Barnes.” You whispered into the night.

  


Clint looked down at you in surprise and alarm.

  


“Well at least you are never boring. This is going to be fun to watch from the sidelines, far far away from the line of fire.” He chuckled.

  


“Clint?”

  


“What?”

  


“Why is Bucky so pretty?”

  


“Ok you’re too tipsy for me to deal with.” He laughed, getting up and letting you plunk down to the side.

  


“I’m going to make you some coffee.” He said with wry amusement while you curled up on the swing, not at all bothered by the loss of his shoulder to lean on.

  


“Can I have some of the cookies Laura and Wanda made?” You asked hopefully.

  


“You can have whatever you want, you entertaining little furball.”

  


\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

  


The woods surrounding the Barton farm were peaceful. You felt safe amongst the trees, close enough to the farm to not be isolated but far enough away to be alone. The trees surrounding you provided enough shelter for you to feel protected but the fresh air and sounds of wildlife reminded you that you were outside, free.

  


You walked through the woods, the twinkling stars above you and felt truly at peace for the first time. It was serene, tranquil and temporary but nothing good lasts forever, you were happy to just enjoy it for now.

  


An unfamiliar rustling sound broke you out of your peaceful musings and your body tensed, on alert. You stayed still, not making a sound and turned your head towards the sound.

  


“Bucky?”

  


He was staring at you from several meters away, he looked terrible. Exhausted. His eyes bore into you and he looked at you longingly, desperately.

  


“What are you doing here?” You whispered.

  


He flinched, like your question had hurt him but before you could explain you weren’t mad or disappointed to see him only confused he shook his head and turned away from you.

  


“Please, don’t go.” You pleaded but he ignored you, quickly striding in the opposite direction until he was out of sight.

  


You snapped out of your trance and ran after him, following the noises he was making as he tracked through the woodland.

  


“Bucky, wait!” You called.

  


You ran as fast as you could but you couldn’t catch up to him.

  


“This way Kotonok.” Natasha called, her red hair visible through the trees.

  


You followed her, her hair leading you like a beacon as you ran through the dark forest. The closer you got to her, the thicker the trees grew and you were fighting off branches that were grabbing at you.

  


“Hurry, he’s getting away. You’re going to lose him!” Natasha called to you.

  


You furiously pushed the grabby twigs away, ignoring the sharp sting of thistles and thorns piercing your hands. You’d take the pain if it meant you could get to Bucky. You threw your body forwards through the thicket, pushing your legs as fast as they could go. It still wasn’t enough and you were losing sight of Natasha.

  


You grit your teeth and snarled. You had to get to him you had to find him. You screamed your fury as you ran, your shrill voice resonating through the air and the tress withdraw, bowing to your fury. You rushed through the now clear path and into the clearing ahead.

  


It was a beautiful place, lit by moonlight. Bucky stood in the centre and your heart collapsed in on itself in relief.

The you saw that he wasn’t alone and you tilted your head in confusion at the unfamiliar woman standing with her back to you. The whole world tilted on it’s axis and your heart shattered as Bucky leant his head down to kiss her.

  


Your vision blurred as tears filled your eyes and you silently watched and cried as Bucky embraced the stranger. She pulled away from him and turned her head to look at you and you gasped. She had your face but her eyes were jet black, obsidian veins covering her skin.

  


“Vernichtung.” You whispered in terror.

  


She smiled at you, a cruel and wicked smirk. You were rooted to the spot, unable to move, only able to watch in horror as she turned back to Bucky and plunged her hand into his chest. You wanted to scream but no noise came out as she withdrew her hand, his heart firmly clasped in her grip. He crumpled to the ground and you wanted to run to him, to help him, to save him but you were frozen.

  


She stalked towards you, hips swaying. Power and malevolence rolled off her in waves as she reached up and wiped a tear from your face with her ice cold fingers.

  


“I’m sorry, did you want this?” She purred viciously.

  


She held Bucky’s heart out to you and you were forced to watch as she crushed it in her hand and finally, you were able to scream.

  


In the cosy guest bedroom of the Barton Family Farm your eyes shot open, and you woke up screaming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was my absolute favorite chapter to write so far, I really hope you enjoyed it.
> 
> Vernichtung: *Rips dream Bucky's heart out*   
> Mike Wazowski: PUT THAT THING BACK WHERE IT CAME FROM OR SO HELP ME....


	23. Revelations

You lightly bounced Nathaniel on your hip as you moved around the kitchen, handing Laura various things as she asked for them. You had been inconsolable when you woke from your nightmare, fear overtaking you. It had taken Natasha swearing she hadn’t seen Bucky or you in the woods and Lila Barton sneaking into the room to climb onto the bed and offer you her bear for you to calm down.

  


You couldn’t bring yourself to tell anyone what the nightmare had been about, somehow afraid that saying it out loud would cause it to come true. As you gradually calmed down you were over taken by shame and embarrassment for waking up the whole house but Laura assured you that you hadn’t been the first and she doubted you would be the last.

  


Wanda had offered to stay with you but you waved her away, knowing you weren’t going to get back to sleep, even with Lila’s bear perched on the pillow next to you ‘guarding you’. You had stayed awake all night, watching the sun rise through the window of the guest bedroom until you had heard Laura getting up.

  


You felt so bad for waking everyone you had been running about doing as many chores as you could to help. You had made breakfast, washed all the dishes, got the kids ready for the day, cleaned the kitchen from top to bottom, fed the chickens, swept all the floors, put the washing on the line and you were shattered. You didn’t know how Laura did it everyday.

  


You were eventually threatened into slowing down by the woman herself and she was only allowing you to pass her things while she prepared side dishes for the barbeque Clint had announced he was doing this afternoon. He and Natasha had driven into the nearest town to pick up supplies and Wanda was playing hide and seek with Lila and Cooper while you and Laura made potato salad and coleslaw while entertaining Nathaniel.

  


The small child seemed to be fond of you, babbling happily whenever you entered his eyeline and waving his chubby arms in your direction until you picked him up. He was happily blowing raspberries at you while you helped his mom in the kitchen and Laura was chattering away about how she still had enough wood to last several winters from the last time Cap visited but you were welcome to chop some later if you wanted to blow off more steam when you heard the sound of a quinjet landing nearby.

  


You grabbed Laura’s shoulder.

  


“Quinjet outside, take Nathaniel and stay inside with the kids and Wanda. I’ll check it out.” You instructed her.

  


“I’ll kill that husband of mine. It’s alright, It’s the rest of the team from the compound. I thought you knew he invited them.” She assured you apologetically.

  


“Oh. Ohhhhh.” You said, tensing up.

  


“Your dad went back to New York to see Pepper so he isn’t coming but I think everyone else is. Is that going going to be ok?” She asked you in concern.

  


“Of course.” You said with a tight smile.

  


You placed Nathaniel in his high chair, pressing a kiss to his little head.

  


“I’m just going to start moving the hay out of the barn. I’ll catch up with everyone later.” You said hurriedly and ducked out of the house before you had to face anybody.

You weren’t sure how to deal with seeing Bucky or what you were going to say. You ran to the barn and hid inside, sitting on a hay bale as you gathered your thoughts.

  


You knew you wanted him, there was never any doubt about that but there was so much standing in the way. There were too many issues. Yet, the thought of never touching him again, never kissing him, never waking up beside him… it was too sad to consider. If it were just your own feelings on the line you would throw yourself at him in a heartbeat but you didn’t know if you could risk hurting him.

  


Or Tony.

  


You almost wished you still hated him, even as you admitted to yourself that you never truly had hated him. Well not completely anyway. Since the day you had arrived at the compound he was always in the peripheral of your vision, taunting you with what you couldn’t have. He was cocky, arrogant, cruel and infuriating. Being angry at him was so easy and that small part of you that wasn’t always a good person took pleasure in pissing him off. But at the same time, just being around him was like a drug. You knew it was bad for you but it felt so good and you always craved it.

  


He wasn’t just under your skin, he was deep in your veins, as integral to your survival as the oxygen you needed to breathe.

  


Like he was summoned by your thoughts he pushed the door of the barn open and walked through.

  


“Laura told me you were here.” He said softly.

  


He looked at you like he was looking through you, straight to your soul and your whole body automatically leaned forward towards him. Maybe this would end badly, maybe the two of you would crash and burn but you just didn’t have it in you to stay away. You needed him, to hell with the consequences. You were absolutely done with pretending you weren’t head over heels, hoplesly in love with James Buchanan Barnes.

  


“James.” You whispered, his name echoing through the loft wooden structure.

  


His eyes widened as you stood up and rushed towards him across the large space. He strode towards you and caught you mid run, his arms circling around your waist and supporting your weight as you threw your arms around his neck and as your mouths collided in a desperate, frenzied kiss. You pushed every single ounce of passion you possessed into it, baring your soul to him without words. The kiss was a messy, urgent, tooth clashing affair, both of you just eager to feel one another.

  


Your lungs were burning in their need for oxygen but you didn’t care and when he pulled back to breathe you chased his lips, needing more than anything to feel them against your own again. You felt your back hit the wooden wall of the barn as he pressed you into it, his mouth hungrily devouring yours. His body was large and solid and warm and just the feel of it against yours had your underwear becoming uncomfortably damp as your body responded naturally to his presence.

  


His hands pushed the hem of your dress up as they roamed up your thighs and he gently tugged at your panties, not pulling them off yet but letting you know he wanted to.

  


“Fuck me James, fuck me.”

  


He sunk to his knees, hurriedly pulling the lace underwear down your legs as he pressed sloppy kisses to your thighs. As soon as they were off he stood up and your lips were pressed together again as your hands scrambled for his belt, yanking it open and pulling down his zipper. You tugged his boxers and jeans down together, letting them fall to his knees and he grabbed the backs of your thighs, lifting you easily.

  


You put your hands on his shoulders, supporting your own body weight with ease as he used his hand to guide his perfectly hard, throbbing cock between your slick folds. He broke the kiss and rested his forehead against yours, gazing into your eyes as his tip pushed into you. You moaned at the sensation and both his hands gripped your hips so he could guide your body forwards, his length working it’s way inside you.

  


He was too big and you hadn’t prepared enough so it burned as he stretched your walls but it felt so fucking good. It was what you needed, the pain and the pleasure entwined. You needed to feel him, to have him in the most intimate and filthy ways. He must have felt the same because he quickly set a relentless pace, snapping his hips forward to repeatedly impale you on his cock.

  


His grip on your hips was bruising as he pounded into you, his eyes never leaving yours. Your moans were getting louder but you didn’t care if anyone heard, all you cared about was Bucky.

  


Despite the brutal way he was driving his cock into you, there was nothing but tenderness in his eyes and it was strangely intimate as his thumb brushed gently over your swollen clit. The barn was filled with the sounds of your moans and his grunts, the sound of flesh smacking against flesh and your bodies slamming into the wall.

  


It didn’t take long for your orgasm to build, swelling up inside you until it overflowed and you came with a long drawn out moan of his name and your nails digging into his shoulder blades. He fucked you through it, waiting until the fluttering of your walls had begun to slow before he allowed himself to let go, groaning your name into your neck and holding you tightly as his seed filled you.

  


You stayed like that, pinned to the wall for a few moments while you both regained your breath before he adjusted his grip on you and pulled out. You winced at the slight pain and he looked stricken, carrying you over to a hay bale.

  


“Did I hurt you?” He asked softly, gently lowering you onto it.

  


“Yes, but I loved it.” You admitted, biting your lip.

  


His eyes darkened at the admission, and he leaned down to carefully pull your panties back up your legs. He zipped himself back up and leaned next to you on his side. His eyes searched your face for something, some sign.

  


“Do you want me to leave?” He asked apprehensivley.

  


“I don’t ever want you to leave. You’ll never know how sorry I am I made you think I did.” You said earnestly.

  


The lines on his face smoothed out and some of the tension drained from his shoulders as his eyes lit up with hope.

  


“What are you saying?” He asked breathily.

  


You reached up and affectionately ran your fingers through his hair, twirling the soft strands with your fingers.

  


“I’m not ready to tell Tony. This is new, and amazing and I just want to enjoy it. It’s not a secret, not forever but I need time. Can it just be you and me, just being us for a while?”

  


He turned his head and pressed a kiss to the palm of your hand.

  


“Just us sounds amazing doll.” He told you.

  


You wanted to tell him just how deeply you felt for him, that you had realised you loved him but it was too soon. You two had barely begun, there would hopefully be time for such confessions one day in the future.

  


For now you just allowed yourself to admire him and the way the rays of sun that penetrated the barn lit his skin and made you wish you had Steve’s artistic skill. Because Bucky was a work of art, he was the most beautiful thing you had ever seen. If you only knew he was gazing at you and thinking the exact same thing, you might have found the courage to tell him how you felt.

  


\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

  


It took you at least half an hour to be able to walk out of the barn. Bucky slipped away, letting you go back to the house alone where Natasha fixed you with a smug grin and Clint sniggered and picked hay out of your hair before Sam came barrelling over and picked you up, spinning you in a circle.

  


“I missed you.” He exclaimed.

  


“It’s been less than two days.” You pointed out perplexed.

  


“Yes, and I was left alone with two old men, a god and an android.” Sam pointed out.

  


“Ah, you poor thing. Did you feel insignificant?” You laughed, patting him on the shoulder.

  


“I’m just saying, none of them appreciate the awesomeness that is Sam Wilson the way you do.”

  


“You are pretty awesome.” You admitted.

  


“This is why you’re my favourite.”

  


“Alright, everybody outside.” Laura ordered.

  


You all piled out of the house, the kids hanging off of Thor’s biceps. Clint immediately fired up the barbecue and the males migrated towards it. Wanda was bouncing Nathaniel on her knee and Natasha was helping Laura carry dishes out to the wooden tables that had been set up. A glint of metal caught you eye and you looked over to see Bucky walking over, shooting you a wink.

  


Steve clapped your shoulder and you looked up at him to see he was grinning at you.

  


“Glad you two worked things out.” He whispered.

  


You went bright red as you figured out Steve knew. You glared at Bucky who in turn glared at Steve. Bucky hustled over to the two of you.

  


“Rogers you colossal idiot. I am so sorry doll.” Bucky apologized.

  


“It’s ok, I told Natasha.” You admitted and Bucky raised a brow at you.

  


“Some secret.” He remarked.

  


“I kind of also accidentally told Clint.” You added.

  


“Oh really, anyone else?” He asked sarcastically.

  


“Well...”

  


“Really doll?”

  


“Well Wanda’s probably figured it out on her own. Which means Vision knows.” You said, panic rapidly rising as you realised your ‘secret’ was a very poorly concealed one.

  


“So the only people who don’t know are Thor, Sam and Tony?” Steve clarified.

  


“Oh shit. I think Scott Lang might know something's up, I spent the day with him after my party.” You exclaimed.

  


“You spent the day with Lang?” Bucky snapped.

  


“Again, I just want to be absolutely certain here. The only people who don’t know you two are together are Sam, Tony and Thor.” Steve interrupted.

  


“I think so?” You said meekly.

  


“Remind me to never disclose any important secrets to you.” Steve sniggered.

  


“We have to do damage control!” You insisted, throwing a desperate look at Natasha who immediately came over.

  


“What’s wrong Kotonok?”

  


“Everyone here except Sam and Thor know… about me and Bucky.”

  


“I’ll take care of it.” She assured you and you breathed a sigh of relief.

  


“Wilson, Barnes is dating your girl. Don’t tell Tony.” She announced loudly.

  


The only sound was the crashing of china as Sam dropped the plate he was holding and turned to look at you.

  


“Oh fuck.” You whimpered.

  


“It’s best to just rip off the band aid.” Natasha assured you and pushed you towards Sam.

  


You nervously looked back at Bucky for help but he looked just as stricken as you.

  


“This a joke Romanov?” Sam demanded.

  


“She’s not joking.” You admitted in a small voice.

  


“WHAT THE FUCK?” Sam roared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so I have a very important thing to discuss with you. 
> 
> As I come towards the end of this story I'm wondering if I should end it completely or not.   
> I could treat this as an origin story of sorts and do a sequel. I've hinted at the X-men, I'd love to bring them in, maybe some Deadpool and other characters. I would love to see reader have different adventures and face different villains. 
> 
> It's ultimately up to you guys though, should this be a one-off story with a definitive conclusive ending or would you read a sequel? It will always be a Bucky x Reader story, that wouldn't change in a sequel. 
> 
> So I really need your guys opinions, be brutally honest. Tell me what you want?


	24. Around The Campfire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Between Tumblr and Ao3, so far the votes are 34-1 in favor of continuing with this story... So I'm taking that as a resounding yes.

“Exactly how attached are you to Wilson?” Bucky enquired, as he pulled you in front of him, using you as a human shield.

  


“Touch my Sam and I’ll take your Steve.” You vowed, throwing an apologetic look at the Captain.

  


“We can get you a new best friend.” Bucky offered while Thor and Clint tried to hold Sam back.

  


“Well, I could always ask Scott Lang.” You suggested and felt Bucky’s glare burning holes in the back of your head.

  


“Fine, Wilson can live.” He snapped and you grinned victoriously.

  


“Sam, Sammy. Can I come over?” You called gently, like you were talking to a wounded animal.

  


He paused in his struggling to glare at you and you slowly walked over, your hands out to show you came in peace. As soon as you were in reaching distance Sam ducked out of Thor’s grip and grabbed you, shoving you behind him.

  


“Oh no, how will I ever escape.” You muttered sarcastically.

  


“Barnes? Really?” Sam barked at you furiously.

  


“But Sam, Bucky’s soooo pretty. Isn’t that right?” Clint mocked you.

  


“Clint, not helping. Sam, yes, Barnes. He isn’t so bad… It could be worse.” You offered.

  


“Name one person worse than the metal armed monstrosity.” Sam challenged.

  


“Uhhhhh.”

  


“See! You can’t.”

  


“Thanks Doll.” Bucky called out indignantly.

  


“Alright fine, I can’t name someone worse. Ask me to name someone better.” You demanded.

  


“I can think of at least 500 people right off the top of my head who are better for you.” Sam insisted.

  


“I can’t. I can’t think of a single person better _or_ worse. When I picture myself with someone it’s him, only him. There is no other option for me Sam, it _has_ to be Bucky. He’s the only person I have ever wanted to be with.” You told him earnestly, desperate to make him understand.

  


You heard Steve aww at your statement and resisted the urge to flip him off. Bucky’s eyes went soft as he gazed at you and Sam looked thoroughly disgusted.

  


“I can’t be the only person who thinks this is a terrible idea!” Sam insisted. Looking around for support.

  


“Brother Barnes and Lady Stark are formidable warriors in their own right. Combined, their strength will be the stuff of legends and they share similar traumas in their pasts, who better to support them than one another? I wish them both good fortune.” Thor announced.

“Sorry buddy, everyone ships it.” Clint shrugged.

  


“The only person who’s opinion matters is hers Wilson.” Bucky snarled.

  


“Well my opinion must matter or she wouldn’t have been sneaking around behind my back.” Sam rebutted.

  


“SAM! We literally just got together half an hour ago. There was nothing to tell before that. And you found out before Darcy did.” You offered with a devious smirk.

  


“Oh, ok. That’s not so bad. I can deal with that. I can deal with _this._ I don’t like it but it’s going to be fine.” Sam said, calming down.

  


You had just breathed a sigh of relief when Bucky decided to interject.

  


“Before today we were just sleeping together, no strings attached.” He said, stretching the truth with an infuriatingly evil smirk.

  


Sam puffed up and you batted Thors arm away as Sam dove for Bucky who stepped out of the way.

  


“Just let them go at it.” You muttered in resignation.

  


You plunked yourself down on a seat while everyone got back to preparing the Barbecue, the occasional yell or swear echoing from Bucky and Sam.

  


They were both being idiots and frankly, at this point you hoped they killed each other.

  


You busied yourself playing peek-a-boo with baby Nathaniel and ignoring everybody over the age of twelve. Even when Bucky and Sam came slinking back, you very deliberately turned your back to them and ignored them sniffing around you with their pathetic apologies.

  


“I’m not a toy to be fought over am I Nathaniel? No I’m not.” You cooed.

  


Your passive aggressive dig hit home and Bucky and Sam guiltily scampered away, leaving you to it. Natasha just sat next to you and fixed you with a blank look until you relented and started speaking to her. She’d had good intentions, every thing she ever did was to help you. It wasn’t her fault the men in your life were overly protective, prideful, possessive morons.

  


It turned out to be a fun barbecue, so long as you ignored Sam and Bucky. They didn’t make it easy, if you even thought about asking for the ketchup then Bucky had already handed it to you, if your glass got below the halfway point then Sam was quick to refill it. You refused to acknowledge or thank them because every single time one of them did something that could be construed as even remotely nice, they would shoot a smug look at the other.

  


So you resolutely ignored them both, focusing your attention on Thor’s vivid descriptions of Asgard to the kids or Laura’s stories about the farm to a fascinated Vision. You conversed and laughed the afternoon away, paying attention to everyone happily, engaging in conversations and jokes. As your mood got brighter and happier, Sam and Bucky’s got steadily lower. You overheard Laura tell them to knock it off and stop competing for your affection but they didn’t appear to get the message.

  


As evening fell, Clint set a campfire that everyone gathered around and Lila and Copper taught you, Thor and Vision how to make smores. You and vision couldn’t quite get the hang of it but Thor did so you kept pointing out random things behind him and stealing his smores. He knew exactly what you were doing but very graciously pretended he was oblivious.

  


As the night wore on, your tiredness crept in. You hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before and you’d had a long day so inevitably you nodded off in front of the campfire.

  


\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

  


Bucky’s heart was sinking in his chest as he gazed across the fire at you dejectedly. He hadn’t even been able to make it a full hour, let alone a day before messing things up with you. You point blank refused to talk to him and every time he tried to get closer to you or do something helpful Wilson was there to get in the way.

  


He watched as your eyes got heavier and you started blinking slowly at the flames. Your head dropped down and your breathing evened out.

  


“Maybe we should think about heading back, everyone’s getting tired.” He muttered to Steve, nodding in your direction.

  


“Some of us more than others.” Steve chuckled.

  


“I’ll take her to the quinjet, she can sleep on the way back.” Bucky told him, getting up and making his way round the fire towards you.

  


Of course Sam had beaten him to it, of course he had.

  


“I’ve got her birdbrain.” He snapped.

  


Sam glared at him, pausing with his arms stretched out towards you.

  


“I don’t know if you noticed Barnes, but all those months you were making her life miserable I was the one carrying her to bed when she fell asleep. I’ve got this.”

  


“Just wouldn’t want you to put your back out is all.” Bucky snarked.

  


“You saying she’s heavy?”

  


“What? No, that’s not what I… Fuck you Wilson.”

  


Sam grinned victoriously and gathered you up, holding you bridal style. You turned your head and nuzzled into his shoulder, fast asleep.

  


“Bucky.” You said softly in your sleep.

  


Sam and Bucky froze, looking down at you. Sam sighed heavily and his shoulders drooped.

  


“Alright fine. But I swear to god if you hurt her Barnes, it won’t be Tony you have to worry about.” Sam vowed, gently transferring you to Bucky.

  


Bucky cradled you to his chest firmly, his heart already feeling lighter just by holding you.

“The last thing in the world I want to do is hurt her.” He said softly.

  


Sam nodded, satisfied and left him alone with you. Bucky held you against himself, careful not to jostle you as he carried you back to the quinjet and laid you down on the seat with your head on his lap. He stroked your hair gently and closed his own eyes while he patiently waited for the others to arrive so they could fly back to the quinjet.

  


He’d let Sam carry you back to your room when they landed, Sam would make sure you got back safely. And maybe when you woke up, you’d forgive them for being so stupid.

  


\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

  


“Kotonok, wake up.” Natasha’s voice pierced through your dream.

  


You jerked into a sitting position, looking around. You were on the quinjet.

  


“We were on out way back to the compound when we got a call from the UN. We don’t have time to drop you back off, we need to get to D.C.” She explained as you frantically rubbed the sleep from your eyes.

  


“Whas going on?” You mumbled.

  


“Aliens.”

  


That woke you up. Natasha held out something to you and you took it, puzzled. It was the tactical suit and hood that Fury had supplied you with, though it had a few alterations. The once pure black material had two thick red vertical stripes along the chest and a thinner gold one between the blocks of red. Your suit had been Starkified but it was subtle enough that nobody would make the connection.

  


“Suit up.” She told you with a wry grin.

  


You wasted no time in pulling the suit on, hiding behind Natasha and Wanda. Steve came over as you were lacing up your combat boots.

  


“We need as many people on the ground as possible, stay on the fringes and don’t engage unless you have to. Your objective is to protect and escort on civilians away from the fight. Do not act to familiar with any of us. It’s unlikely we will be able to hide your presence from the UN but we can play dumb, say we don’t know who you were.” Steve told you.

  


“So as far as anyone will think, I’m just a masked vigilante who was in the right place at the right time.” You said.

  


“Exactly. There are too many civilians around, under no circumstances are you to allow Vernichtung into the fight.” He instructed you firmly.

  


“Got it Cap. Minimal violence, get the civvies to safety and avoid you lot.” You summed up.

  


He nodded once at you, satisfied you had your orders and went back to the battle strategizing. Natasha handed you a case with all your preferred weapons in it and you slipped them into the right holsters and sheaths.

  


“Nervous?” She asked.

  


“No, it’s not like I’ve never done this before.” You chuckled.

  


“You’ve never not been able to fall back on Vernichtung before. Or been seen by the public.” She pointed out.

  


You were aware of that but were pushing the knowledge to the back of your mind because quite frankly it terrified you. Vernichtung was something you despised and feared but it was always there to fall back on, if things got too bad. Now you had no fail safe, if you messed up then that was it. You couldn’t do anything about it.

  


“I’ll be fine.” You said flatly and pushed past her, further into the jet.

  


“Cap, you need me to drop out of the quinjet before you land or sneak out after you’ve all left?” You asked.

  


“Once we’re in the fight nobody will be paying attention to the quinjet, you can leave then. Just make sure you aren’t seen.” He decided.

  


You felt a hand graze your elbow and turned your head slightly to see Bucky. He gestured to the back of the jet with his head questiongly and you walked away, him following you. It was as close to privacy as the two of you were going to get.

  


“I’m sorry.” He breathed out.

  


“It doesn’t matter right now.”

  


“It matters to me. Never go into a fight with anything unresolved doll.”

  


“Fine. You need to accept that Sam means a hell of a lot to me, he’s like a brother to me. And he needs to accept that you mean a lot to me, I’m choosing to be with you because it’s what I want. Both of you need to accept that neither of you owns me, I can do as I damn well please.”

  


“Understood.” He said firmly.

  


“That’s it? Understood?” You asked in disbelief.

  


The corner of Bucky’s lip twitched as he fought the urge to smirk at you.

  


“You’re my girl now sweetheart, but only because you made me the lucky guy you gave yourself to. I know I don’t own you, I don’t want to. I just want to be with you. So will you forgive me for being so damn stupid?”

  


The only thing you registered was him calling you his girl, everything else was fuzzy. His girl. You felt like The Grinch when his heart grew three sizes. You were grinning up at him like a fool and he took that to mean you forgave him and in full view of everyone in the quinjet Bucky wrapped his metal arm around your waist and pulled you to him, tilted his head towards yours and kissed you breathless.

  


\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

  


You weren’t allowed to talk to anyone over the comms unless it was an emergency but you were allowed to listen, which is how you discovered the Aliens currently invading the capital were called the Kree. They were apparently here to demand their property be returned to them. Their property being Inhumans. Humans who’s ancestors had been infused with alien DNA and who had extraordinary abilities when put through ‘terragenisis’.

  


They were big and blue and had guns that shot some kind of laser at people. That was all you needed to know. You stayed on the fringes of the fight like instructed, dodging past the enemy and pointing people to the best hiding spots.

  


You refrained from letting out a whoop of excitement when you saw the red and gold blur speeding overhead, a familiar silver blur beside him. You dad had joined the fray and he’d brought War machine with him.

  


You spotted two who were firing on civilians trapped in a building with a blown out window. You looked up and scanned the sky, quickly calculating who was closest and the least occupied.

  


“Falcon, civilians at 3’o’clock.” You informed him.

  


You saw him dive down towards where you had instructed and ducked into an alleyway. You could hear the sounds of people screaming a few streets away but no noises of fighting. You quickly scaled the alley wall and made your way across the rooftop towards the sound.

  


There were thirty or so people running for their lives away from a small cluster of Kree about four hundred yards away. The group ran past your position on the roof and you saw a little boy, no more than eight years old drop the small action figure he was clutching. The boy tried to go back for it but his father picked him up and ran with him.

  


It was such an insignificant thing to care about in the heat of battle. But watching that little boy crying out for his toy as his frantic father ran them further away absolutely obliterated your heart. You didn’t even stop to consider the stupidity of what you were doing or how angry the team would be if they found out, you darted out of the shadows towards the abandoned toy figure. In your haste you didn’t check the terrain properly, you didn’t see one of the Kree walk around the corner, mere meters from you.

  


You scooped it up and gripped it tightly, in full view of the large imposing blue alien. He grinned at you, baring all his teeth and raised his weapon. You were about to be blasted apart, for a toy. Your life didn’t flash before your eyes like you’d heard could happen, instead the last few seconds of your life slowed down as the trigger was pulled and the blinding laser beam shot towards you.

  


And then it was blasted backwards. The blue killer barely had any time to look confounded before the telekinetic wave charged with crackling black electricity hit him, sending him careening all the way up the street as the death wave shot towards the Kree warriors gathered 400 yards up the street. They were all obliterated, sent flying by your power.

  


It was all over in the space of a few seconds. Your shaking hand lowered back down to your side and you caught sight of your reflection in the window of a store front. Your eyes looked back at you from the glass.

  


Your eyes. Wide and full of shock and not a trace of black in them.

  


Like you were in a trance you turned around and walked over to the shocked civilians who were watching you with wide eyes. You held out the action figure to the little boy who had dropped it. He eagerly took it from you, a smile lighting up his whole face.

  


“Thank you!”

  


You nodded to him and turned away, walking back into the battle zone. You were so deep in shock you didn’t register the people asking who you were, or the cellphones pointed at you.

  


You’d just made your worldwide debut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just over two weeks ago I finally found the confidence to do something I had been wanting to do for a long time (at least three years) and posted the first chapter of this.  
> The responses I have gotten to this story are mind-blowing. Every single comment, every single one is read about twelve times before I do a happy wiggle and then read it another twelve times.  
> My confidence is so much higher right now. My general mood is just happier. I live in the middle of nowhere and I literally have no friends or family nearby, and because of this fic and the responses, I don't feel as lonely. My days have a purpose now, I don't have to just sit and mope and suffer, I can write.  
> I just wanted you to know, every one of you has helped me in a very real way. You've made someone's life better and I couldn't be more grateful. Thank you. 
> 
> On a less sappy note, what do you think the press are gonna dub the reader when they see the footage?
> 
> **EDIT** There are still several chapters to go in this installment, I'm not done. That's not how I'm ending it haha.


	25. Trending

Steve Rogers was _NOT_ happy with you. Your little stunt had been filmed and immediately uploaded to the internet and within minutes it was being shared and retweeted all over the world. They team had trudged back to the Quinjet to find you waiting, sat silently in the corner and as soon as Steve found out what had happened he started laying into you.

  


“You’re trending on Twitter!” Steve exclaimed angrily.

  


“Everyone heard that right? I’m not having a stroke? Cap just said ‘trending on twitter’?” Tony quipped.

  


“This isn’t a joke Stark.” Steve snapped.

  


“People are loving her. The headlines are ranging from “Mysterious woman saves crowd” to “Super Powered Samaritan reunites child with lost toy after casually blasting Aliens”.” Natasha noted.

  


“Super powered Samaritan? That’s the worst Superhero name ever.” Clint remarked.

  


“That’s not what they’re calling her.” Wanda informed him.

  


“What did they dub her?” Clint asked.

  


Wanda looked over at you a little nervously. You had yet to say anything.

  


“Deathwave.”

  


“Now that is a bad ass superhero name!” Clint whooped.

  


“None of this is the point. You unleashed Vernichtung in around innocent people and got caught on camera doing so.” Steve reprimanded you.

  


“Relax Cap, nothing happened. She was in control.” Sam defended you.

  


“I didn’t do it.” You said quietly.

  


“Um, you kind of did. It was caught on camera, there’s no denying it.” Clint informed you.

  


“We need to damage control with the press on this. You are benched.” Steve said turning to you.

  


“Steve I didn’t do anything.” You protested.

  


“I’m sorry but you did, you disobeyed a direct order, endangering civilians in the process.”

  


“IT WASN’T ON PURPOSE, IT WASN’T VERNICHTUNG.” You yelled, losing your patience.

  


You were met with silence.

  


“I saw my eyes in the glass when it happened, they didn’t turn black, I didn’t black out. I did it, not Vernichtung. I don’t know how.” You babbled.

  


“Sweetheart slow down. Are you saying you accessed Vernichtung’s power without accessing Vernichtung itself?” Tony clarified.

  


You nodded.

  


“Well that’s new.” Clint remarked.

  


“Are you ok?” Sam asked you.

  


You shrugged.

  


“What does this mean?” You asked Tony.

  


“I don’t know. Bruce is waiting back at the tower, maybe he can help.” Tony suggested.

  


You nodded shakily and stepped closer to Tony to seek comfort but he flinched. He tried to play it off but it was too late, the damage was done.

  


“I’m sorry Kit Kat, it’s not you. But if you’re accessing that kind of power on your own, we need to be careful until you’re in control.” Tony apologised.

  


You wrapped your arms around yourself and retreated into the corner. Tony looked heartbroken at having hurt your feelings but he was right. You were unpredictable and dangerous, you couldn’t touch anyone. You didn’t speak again the whole journey back to New York and scampered off the quinjet as soon as it landed, moving as quickly as you could without running.

  


  


You managed to hold it together in the elevator but as soon as you slammed the door behind you and fell into your room at the tower, your hands pressed over your mouth as you tried to contain the sobs that were trying to escape. The shock and adrenaline had worn off and now the fear was taking over. Accessing Vernichtung’s power was utterly terrifying and you didn’t know what it meant.

  


The door banged open and hit the wall as Bucky strode through it and in less than a second he had his arms around you.

  


“Get away, I’m too dangerous.” You said through your tears, trying to push him away.

  


“I’m not afraid of you and I’m not going anywhere sweetheart.” He vowed and you broke down.

  


Tears poured down your face and soaked his t-shirt as you fell apart in his arms.

  


“I’ve got you.” He comforted and you could not have been more thankful.

  


Bucky’s lack of fear to be around you was incredibly comforting and you calmed down considerably almost straight away. You clutched at his shirt as your sobs quieted into sniffles.

  


“I saw the video you know. You made that kids year.” He chuckled and you laughed with him.

  


You drew your head back to look at him, he was smiling so warmly and fondly at you that you almost mistook it for love.

  


“I wanted so badly to go to you in the quinjet.” He admitted.

  


You exhaled loudly as your heart twinged in longing and you surged upwards, pressing your lips to his. He accepted your embrace readily, his lips fitting against yours perfectly. You lost yourself in him, letting all the pain and fear go as your love for him replaced it.

  


His hand traced your jaw as his lips caressed yours gently, softly and oh so sweetly.

  


“James I...” You stuttered.

  


“Yeah doll?”

  


“I’m glad I have you.”

  


He took a deep breath and opened his mouth when Friday’s voice interrupted him.

  


“Miss Stark your father needs you in the main common room, he expressed quite a bit of urgency,” She announced.

  


You sighed heavily and Bucky got up, offering you his hand and pulling you to your feet.

  


“I’m right beside you, please remember that.” He said.

  


“Thank you.”

  


He smiled at you as you led him to the door. Before you could open it he pulled you back by the hand, twirling you round and kissing you again. You wrapped your arms around his neck and gave everything you had into the kiss, silently begging him to realise you loved him even if you were too afraid to say it. He looked slightly dazed when he released you.

  


“We should go before Tony comes looking for you.” He said.

  


You nodded and went to the common room, Bucky trailing behind you. Everyone was standing around and none of them looked happy.

  


“What’s going on?” You asked apprehensively.

  


Tony looked up at you, his eyes wet. He seemed to be stuck somewhere between guilt and anger.

  


“I’m sorry sweetheart, it’s everywhere. I couldn’t stop it.” He told you.

  


You looked back at Bucky but he was just as confused as you.

  


“Couldn’t stop what?”

  


“Someone leaked footage of Vernichtung online. Footage they shouldn’t have had, footage we didn’t know existed. It’s all over the internet, on every news channel.” Natasha explained.

  


You felt like somebody had dumped ice cold water over you. You silently grabbed a tablet off the counter, Tony made a motion as if to stop him but Natasha shook her head.

  


“There’s no hiding this Stark.” She warned.

  


Tony looked devastated. You turned the screen on, it was already on the footage Natasha had told you about. You clenched your jaw as you clicked play. Absolutely nothing could have prepared you for what you saw.

  


You watched yourself through shaky cam footage as you walked towards the cliff in Mexico all those weeks ago.

  


You raised your hands at your side and held them out, crackles of black electricity rippling outward from your body as the air around you rippled and wavered, like heat rising from the ground. The ‘deathwave’ grew and grew until it was at least a mile up in the sky and across. The you on the screen clenched her hands and the cliff side was absolutely obliterated. The whole ground shook as chunks of rock were ripped from the cliff and hurtled towards the ground.

  


That was just the beginning. Hydra agents were yanked from the tunnels in the cliff, falling to their deaths. Those who managed to survive the quake poured out of the tunnels, firing at you. The deathwave stopped the bullets in their tracks and you raised your hands, ripping apart their bodies as easily as you had done the cliff. Blood rained down on the jungle as you massacred them, pulling their limbs apart like a child pulls the wings off a firefly. You killed them in droves, crushing bodies with your telekinetic strength, ripping hearts out of chests.

  


It was a horrific bloodbath, a manic slaughter. And the most horrifying thing about it was the laughter. Throughout it all you laughed, the dark twisted sound echoing through the jungle, being picked up by the camera’s microphone.

  


When you thought it was finally over, you saw the worst was still yet to come. You watched as Vernichtung receded and Bucky tried to stop you looking at the carnage, you heard your scream when you discovered the bodies, you heard the gunshots ring out and saw your body crumple to the ground as Bucky ran to you, you saw the blood blossoming on your chest soak his hands as he tried to stop the bleeding.

  


If there was ever any question that it was you, any doubt in anybody’s mind, it was made painfully obvious when Iron Man landed beside you and cradled you.

  


The tablet hit the ground with a crack as you stumbled back. You looked up at the faces of your friends, of your family and saw the unease, the guilt, the trepidation. You pressed a hand to your chest, your unscarred chest.

“Why can’t I remember that?” You asked shakily.

  


Nobody answered you.

  


“WHY CAN’T I REMEMBER?” You screamed and everybody flinched.

  


You looked at Wanda, silently asking her. Her refusal to meet your eyes was all the answer you needed.

  


“What did you do?” You asked them accusingly.

  


“What did _I_ do?” You asked, horrified.

  


“Kotonok, this isn’t the time. The whole world has seen it. Secretary Ross is on his way here right now to arrest you. You have to leave,” Natasha urged you calmly.

  


“I called the X-Men, they’re going to hide you. It’s going to be ok but you’ve gotta leave now.” Tony said through the lump in his throat.

  


You nodded numbly.

  


“Fine. I’ll grab my bag.” You said, waving off first Tony, then Sam and Bucky who tried to follow you.

  


You turned and walked away, heading for your room. And when you reached the door, you walked straight past it and kept going. You got to the elevator and stepped inside.

  


“Ground floor.” You told Friday.

  


“Miss Stark, I highly recommend...”

  


“Ground floor Friday.” You repeated.

  


“Yes Miss Stark.”

  


The elevator made it’s descent slower than you would have liked. As soon as it hit the ground floor you stalked out of it, through the lobby. The receptionist called your name but you ignored her. You could see the hoards of paparazzi through the glass windows. Bucky wouldn’t be able to rescue from them this time.

  


“Miss Stark, you can’t go out there.” A security guard warned you but you didn’t slow down and he was too afraid to physically stop you.

  


You took one last breath and pushed the doors open. The blinding lights hit you immediately as the press surged forward, pushing at one another to yell questions at you.

  


“Miss Stark can you confirm that you are the vigilante they are calling Deathwave?”

  


“Are you really Tony Stark’s daughter?”

  


“Are you a mutant or Inhuman, how exactly did you get your abilities?”

  


“Are you in control of your powers, are you a danger to the public?”

  


“How many people have you killed?”

  


Unlike last time, they left a space around you and as you walked forwards they parted, still throwing their questions at you. There were crowds of people with signs, some seemed to be calling for your arrest, some calling you a hero, a nazi slayer. You ignored them all and walked onto the street.

  


You saw the Secretary Of State's Car before you saw the Black vans escorting him. They all screeched to a halt as soldiers poured out of them, guns pointed at you, yelling instructions. You raised your hands and put them behind your head. You heard Tony and Steve behind you, shouting. They were too late.

  


Secretary Ross watched in vindication as you were cuffed and collared.

  


You tilted your head to look at Tony. He was glaring at Ross in fury as he was held back at gunpoint by two armed soldiers. Your eyes met Bucky's, he looked completely stricken as you were hauled away. Sam was yelling at a soldier, waving his hands in the air. Natasha was shaking her head in disappointment and resignation at you, Clint beside her, arms crossed over his chest as he gave Ross a death glare. Steve was trying to talk Ross down, trying to be reasonable even though his eyes were telling a different story. 

  


Before you could search out anyone else you were shoved into the back of a van and the door was slammed closed, a black bag placed over your head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well shit just got real. And on that cheery note... 
> 
> I will try my best to upload tomorrow but I may not be able to. I have to go to hospital (Nothing bad, just some scheduled tests) but because I live in the middle of nowhere in a field in the Highlands of bloody Scotland I have to go into the city to get to the hospital with the necessary equipment and it's a whole journey. So if I don't post, that's why but I will do my best to write on the train.


	26. The Cat's Out Of The Bag

The Avengers were gathered in a meeting room in the tower, waiting on Ross. The mood was sombre. Their friend had just been dragged away to be put only god knows where and they hadn’t had the chance to explain to her why there was a video of her killing and nearly dying that existed to be leaked online in the first place.

 

“Who leaked that footage?” Sam asked the question they were all wondering.

 

“Docherty. He has to have been watching her, or having people do it for him more accurately.” Steve guessed.

 

“Why leak it today? Why now?” Rhodey enquired.

 

“She’s his Vernichtung, his little world ender. Having her being hailed as a hero must have pissed him off.” Tony said wearily.

 

“This is good. We’ve been looking for a way to get to him for a long time and we had nothing. Now he’s shown a weakness, something we can exploit. The angrier we make him, the more likely he is to make a mistake.” Natasha reasoned.

 

“First we have to get my little girl out of Ross’s clutches. I don’t trust him any more than I do Docherty.” Tony snapped.

 

“He’s right. Ross has been trying to get his hands on The Hulk for a long time, god knows what he’ll do with Vernichtung.” Bruce agreed.

 

“The X-Men said they would gave her sanctuary but that only works as long as nobody knows she’s with them. They won’t help break her out. The Avengers can’t be seen doing it either. I’ll have to take the fall for this, I’ll take her and we can go into hiding. Cap can you contact T’Challa? See if he can help?” Tony asked, pacing as he made plans.

 

“I’ll think we should take a page out of Romanov’s book and fight Docherty with his own tactics.” Bucky spoke up for the first time.

 

“That’s not a bad idea. It’ll push Ross into a corner and put Docherty off his game at the same time.” Steve mused.

 

“Plus it will put Docherty’s face on the map. It’ll be much harder fro him to hide.” Natasha added.

 

“For those of us not following?” Sam probed.

 

“The Vernichtung Files. We release them.” Bucky said.

 

“That’s the worst idea I’ve heard all day.” Rhodey stated.

 

“You want to expose Kit Kat to the world like that? No.” Tony said firmly.

 

“Tony the whole world knows what she can do and who she is. So let’s show them how much she’s endured and how many times she said no to using that power to hurt anyone.” Natasha said diplomatically.

 

“She’s a hero, we all know it. It’s time the world did as well.” Steve added.

 

Everyone but Tony and Rhodey looked convinced. Tony looked frazzled and torn but before he could press further, Secretary Ross came sweeping into the room.

 

“Where the hell is my kid Ross? You have no right to take her away like that, she gets to have a lawyer. As her father, her next of kin I demand to know where she is.” Tony insisted.

 

“You aren’t in a position to be making demands, any of you. You harboured an unregistered powered person and took them on active missions. If a fraction of what is on that footage turns out to be true, you’ve been sitting on the human equivalent of a nuclear bomb.” Ross said, his voice dripping with unbearable smugness.

 

“Then slap me on the wrists, put me in the naughty corner, prosecute me if you like. I don’t give a damn. I want to know where my daughter is.” Tony yelled.

 

“Oh there will be ramifications, for _everyone._ The UN will not let this slide.”

 

“You mean there will be ramifications for Stark and myself.” Bucky spoke up,

 

“I beg your pardon Mr Barnes?”

 

“There’s nothing on that video to suggest any other member of The Avengers knew about her. Matter of fact, Tony didn’t arrive until after. Maybe he didn’t know either.” Bucky said smoothly.

 

Ross’s jaw worked furiously as he tried to catch up to what Bucky was implying.

 

“The only person you can say with absolute certainty knew about Miss Starks abilities was me.” He continued.

 

“That’s not going to look good for anybody. Prosecuting a man you only recently pardoned. I’d hate to be you in that scenario.” Natasha said, catching on.

 

“Oh no, you can not spin this to your advantage. You really think you’re going to get away with this? The evidence speaks for itself.” Ross sneered.

 

“Speaking of evidence...” Dr Banner spoke and everybody turned to look at him. He smiled softly with a mischievous glint in his eye.

 

“Were you aware that Benjamin Newlands was creating a deadly virus to unleash on a well populated country? Doesn’t he have an uncle on the UN council?” Bruce continued.

 

“He does, his father in law sits on the council as well.” Natasha added.

 

“In case you were wondering, yes we do have evidence. Irrefutable in fact. There’s a witness who worked on the virus, a paper trail showing Mr Newlands plans for after the virus was unleashed and a sample of the virus itself.” Bruce concluded.

 

“And you want to know the kicker Ross, the final damning fact? It was ‘deathwave’ who infiltrated Newlands home, destroyed the facility and obtained the virus so a cure could be synthesized.” Natasha said, hitting the final nail into the coffin.

 

“So you currently have the hero who discovered a traitor in the UN in your custody.” Steve summarised.

 

Secretary Ross had gone pale. They had him over a barrel and he knew it.

 

“It’s a good thing you decided to utilise a valuable asset to weed out the traitor and saved millions of lives in the process. Of course you had to hold off on having Miss Stark signing the accords, this whole sting operation only worked so long as nobody knew who she was. This was well played Sir.” Rhodey said diplomatically.

 

They all held their breath while they waited to see if the Secretary Of State would take the bait. He could take the messy path and throw her into a cell despite the backlash he would receive or he could go along with the plan they had just laid out. Turn her into the hero who saved the Accords from being tainted by War Crimes and Genocide.

 

“Before you say anything else Secretary Ross, there’s something you should see.” Natasha said.

 

Everyone looked at Tony and after a long moment he nodded.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

 

“Breaking News! More details on the story of ‘Deathwave’, Tony Stark’s illegitimate daughter have come to light.” The news anchor announced.

 

“Well the cat is well and truly out of the bag now.” Rhodey remarked.

 

“We made the right move, now that crowd outside who already think she’s a hero is going to grow exponentially. Show people footage of a scared little girl standing up to a bully and then have The Secretary Of State announce she was secretly working for them to single handedly take down a madman who wanted to kill millions and by this time tomorrow the whole world is going to love The Newest Avenger.” Clint said.

 

“We made her The Media Darling and Dr Jack Docherty public enemy number one in one fell swoop. I’d call that a win.”

 

“Yeah, now all we have to do is find a way to explain to her why she doesn’t remember killing 200 people or being shot in the heart.” Sam snapped bitterly.

 

Bucky had had enough of listening to them all congratulate themselves and bicker. It was going to be a lot to process for her and forgiveness for all they had done wouldn’t come easily. Everytime he got somewhere with her something got in the way and he was sick of it.

 

Would this be the final straw? Would she give up on him, on them? Would she go back to hating him?

 

“WHO WAS IT?” Tony yelled, storming into the room.

 

“Wasn’t me.” Clint said immediately.

 

“Who was what Tony?” Steve asked calmly.

 

“Ross just called his men to have her released and brought back here. Only he can’t do that because _someone_ broke her out of custody.”

His revelation was met with silence.

 

“Nobody wants to fess up?” Tony pressed, slightly urgently.

 

Nobody spoke up and a chill ran up Bucky’s spine. If none of them had broke her out, then who had?

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

You slowly roused from a deep sleep. The last thing you remembered was a lot of screaming, a klaxon blaring and a flash of red. You shot up into a sitting position, taking in your surrounding rapidly.

 

You were on a tatty sofa, springs digging into you. The room was musty and well lived in to put it politely. The door was kicked open loudly and your kidnapper/saviour came literally skipping into the room.

 

“GOOD MORNING SUNSHINE!”

 

The defensive stance you sprung into was instinctual but the red spandex clad figure ignored it and held out something to you.

 

“Chimichanga?”

 

“Who the hell are you?” You snarled at him.

 

“I’m Deadpool sweetcheeks, and you should really already know that but the author really wanted me to say it out loud so there was no confusion for the readers so I’ll let it slide.” He announced tearing open the foil wrapped Chimichanga and taking an obscenely huge bite.

 

“Alright Deadpool, did you rescue me or kidnap me?” You enquired.

 

“Technically both Princess Peach. Ooooh, that’s what I’ll call you from now on since I’m not allowed to say your name.”

 

“Alright… what?” You were utterly lost.

 

“Quick note. The last person to rescue you adopted you so by those rules, you have to call me daddy. Or Daddypool.”

 

“I am not calling you Daddy.” You insisted with a confused grimace.

 

“Daddypool it is.” He said, clapping his hands together in excitement.

 

He leapt onto the couch you’d woken up on and struck a heroic pose.

 

“Now let’s end this chapter so everyone can mentally prepare themselves for the upcoming grand adventures of the dynamic duo…. Princess Peach and Daddypool!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short but important chapter... I really really hope you like this. It's a creative gamble on my part. Please like it!!! *sweats nervously*


	27. Daddypool and Princess Peach

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This may be a masterpiece or it may be a piece of crap. I'll let you decide.

Once upon a time in the land of Marvel there lived a dashingly handsome, witty beyond compare, braver than a pride of lions hero, who was hung like a horse on steroids and his name was fvrggvf3bn3gfvrfve2gr nfr2vgfr 3gfr2 hgt et1gt565g6 ve42f2te gfrbgr gr g gw

  


Sorry, the author tried to fight me for control of the keyboard. As I was saying, there was a hero with a cock like a python that had swallowed a slightly larger python and he knew how to use it. His name was Deadpool. One day Deadpool decided out of the kindness of his heroic heart to rescue a fair maiden who was being held captive by an evil secretary called Ross. He called forth his noble steed, Dopinder…. Hey, I wonder what the author is going to do with that chainsaw? Fvecfv2FEERr 5,f432 AE\

  


**We apologize for the interruption, now back to our regularly scheduled programming**

  


It took you all of ten seconds to realize that Deadpool was insane and a further ten seconds to realize that you liked that. He wasn’t trying to stop you leaving and he didn’t seem to want to hurt you or change your memories so you decided to stick around.

  


You finished eating your third Chimichanga when you noticed Deadpool had snuck behind you.

  


“Can I have your autograph?” He asked, leaning over the back of the couch to peer at you.

  


“Can I have another Chimichanga?” You bartered.

  


He threw one at you and pushed a pen and a wrinkled playboy towards you with a hopeful expression on his mask. You grimaced but signed your name on the cover of it with one hand while you tore the foil of your food with your teeth.

  


“So, why exactly did you rescue me?” You asked.

  


“Well I was flipping through the channels, looking for a Golden Girls rerun to get me in happy time mood, had my lube and my unicorn ready to go when I saw you on the news. Loved your work with the cliff and the nazis and all the killing. I thought to myself, Deadpool why can’t you find a nice girl like that? So I came and got you.”

  


“So you use the News channels as your own personal Tindr?” You asked.

  


“Well what else is a… what are you doing?”

  


You had put your hand in the air and were making a sweeping motion.

  


“Swiping left.” You said.

  


He gasped and put his hands on his chest, falling to the ground with a dramatic thumb and lying there, completely still. You ignored him and happily munched away on your pilfered food.

  


“Though at least you’ve never lied to my face about my own actions and messed with my memories. You know, you’d think he of all people would have told me the truth.” You ranted.

  


“Wait, I have the perfect outfit for this situation!” Deadpool yelled.

  


He ran into the other room and came back with a pair of glasses perched on his face and a box of kleenex. He forcibly shoved you down on the couch so you were lying down and pulled up a chair to sit next to you.

  


“Now, tell Dr. Daddypool your problems.”

  


You shrugged and gave him the rundown. Why the hell not, it wasn’t like you had anywhere else to be.

  


He oohed and ahhed in all the right places and turned out to be a surprisingly good listener.

  


“I KNOW A GUY WHO CAN PLAY WITH YOUR BRAIN!” He squealed excitedly.

  


“Well actually I know several but I only know one who can do it without physically pulling your brain from your skull.” He amended.

  


“I’m not following.” You admitted.

  


“Memories, yours. Let’s go get em.” He summed up succinctly.

  


“Oh, ohhhhh.” You said eloquently, catching on and jumping up to follow him out of the door.

  


“Wait, I’m forgetting something.” He said, stopping in the doorway.

  


“That everyone on the planet probably knows what I look like and I’m wanted by the UN?” You suggested.

  


“Bingo” He snapped his fingers.

  


“Have you got like a baseball cap and some sunglasses?” You asked.

  


“Seriously? Because nobody’s going to see straight through that disguise.”

  


“Steve said it always works.” You grumbled.

  


“Wanna wear one of my masks?” He asked you.

  


“No, no I do not.”

  


“Fine, I guess that leaves me with no choice then. Time for…. A makeover montage!”

  


He excitedly bounced over and hit play on a boom box in the corner of the room and Pretty Woman by Roy Orbison started blaring.

  


“I could just wear a hoodie and keep the hood up.” You pointed out.

  


\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

  


One very weird (why did he have so many latex costumes?) and pointless makeover later Deadpool threw a hoodie at you with a tormented sigh. You flipped the hood up and followed him downstairs to the waiting yellow cab.

  


“Wait, we’re still in New York?” You asked, only now realizing.

  


“Yes maam.” The driver told you as Deadpool climbed in the passenger window and settled down in the seat.

  


You climbed into the back seat with a glance around to make sure you hadn’t been spotted.

  


“Peaches, this is Dopinder. Dopinder, this is Princess Peach. She’s a violent, bloodthirsty killer.” Deadpool said gleefully.

  


“I saw you on the news Miss Deathwave.” Dopinder said.

  


“You and everybody else buddy. Where are we going?”

  


“X-Mansion.” Dopinder explained.

  


“Great, because nobody there will tell my dad where I am.” You grumbled, staring forlornly out of the window as the city streets whizzed by.

  


You tuned out Deadpool’s chatter with Dopinder about dating and OTP’s until Deadpool made a pained noise.

  


“Pull over!!” Deadpool shrieked.

  


“What’s going on?” You asked as Dopinder pulled into a nearby gas station.

  


“It’s the revenge of the Chimichanga’s!” Deadpool grunted, squirming.

  


As soon as the car rolled to a stop, Deadpool fell out of the car and ran for the bathrooms. You shook your head in wry amusement at him and got out of the car with a stretch.

  


“I’m going to go grab a drink, you want anything?” You asked Dopinder, leaning down to look at him through the drives side window.

  


“Oh, a Coca Cola please Miss Deathwave.” He said politely.

  


“No problem.” You said, hitting the top of the car as you pushed off of it and sauntered into the gas station.`

  


You almost turned and walked straight back out. There was something most definitely wrong, the attendant was sweating profusely as they gave you a tight-lipped smile. You nodded back and perused the aisles, grabbing the drinks. There were three distinct heartbeats coming from behind the counter.

  


Two people hiding, one attendant in sight. Now you very much doubted anybody who was after you would be stupid enough to send only two people to do the job so it was most likely you had just walked into a robbery. You were an escaped convict, you couldn’t afford to draw attention to yourself but there was no way you could just walk away.

  


You plunked the bottles down on the counter and grinned.

  


“Got a bag?” You asked.

  


The attendant nodded and put the bottles in the plastic carrier bag for you.

  


“Oh, can I also get one of these?” You asked, grabbing him by the shirt and yanking him over the counter and throwing him behind you. out of the way.

  


The two robbers swore and stood up. They were balaclava-clad and armed, and totally unprepared to see you stood smiling casually at them.

  


You grabbed the closest one by the gun arm, bending his arm so it was pointing at the ceiling. He pulled the trigger and a small dusting of ceiling plaster sprinkled down over you. You slammed his head into the counter and leaped over his prone form, using the counter to maneuver your body and kick his accomplice in the chest. A super soldier to the ribs was enough to send him reeling back, wheezing, dropping his gun in the process. He tripped over the black duffel bag at his feet and went sprawling onto the ground. You kicked both guns out of reach and kicked open the duffel bag the would-be robbers had with them.

  


“Looks like this wasn’t the first place these guys hit today. Here, don’t call the cops.” You said, throwing the bag of cash at the gas attendant.

  


You picked up the groaning robber by the neck and raised him off the ground, pulling his mask off.

  


“Do you know who I am?” You asked him.

  


He looked petrified as he nodded quickly.

  


“Good, so I don’t have to warn you to never try anything like this again. Because you know what will happen if you do, don’t you?”

  


“You’ll hunt me down and make me wish I was never born?” He guessed.

  


“And they say criminals are getting dumber.” You said, dropping him.

  


He and his partner got up and scrambled away as fast as they could, running into Deadpool at the door. The robbers and the merc all paused in a weird standoff and you coughed lightly behind them, sending the robbers fleeing.

  


“What did I miss?” Deadpool asked.

  


You looked at the gas station attendant who was looking into the bag of cash with wide eyes.

  


“Nothing.” You said innocently.

  


You grabbed your purchases and pulled Deadpool back to the taxi. You climbed in and tossed Dopinder his coke. You waited until you were at least a mile away before you breathed a sigh of relief.

  


“What are the fucking chances that the gas station I was in was being robbed?” You ranted.

  


“That was no coincidence, it’s the author’s divine intervention.” Dopinder tried to explain.

  


“Since when can you break the fourth wall?!” Deadpool demanded with a dramatic gasp.

  


“The author likes me Mr Pool, she has taken artistic liberties.”

  


“Oh hell no, breaking the fourth wall is _MY_ thing!”

  


“She wants you to know you can go suck a dick Mr Pool, those were her words, not mine.”

  


“YO KARA, THAT’S RIGHT I’M NAMING AND SHAMING YOU, GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE AND SAY THAT TO MY FACE!”

  


Out of nowhere, Dopinder slammed on the brakes, sending Deadpool careening headfirst into the wind-shield.

  


You leaned your head through the plastic divider to peer at them.

  


“What in the actual fuck is going on?” You asked bewilderedly as Deadpool let out a string of impressive and inventive curses.

  


“IS THAT ALL YOU’VE GOT YOU PSYCHOTIC...”

  


“Mr Pool no, do not provoke the author!! Dopinder begged.

  


An ominous chill wind began blowing and the three of you paused nervously as it picked up. A Newspaper landed on the Windshield, it’s terrifying headline splattered on the glass for you to read.

  


WORLD RUNS OUT OF MEXICAN FOOD

  


Deadpool screamed in horror and you began laughing uncontrollably at the strange turn of events.

  


“Alright you evil mastermind, you win this round.” Deadpool grumbled.

  


“Can we go now?” You asked them, long past trying to understand what was happening and just rolling with it.

  


“Yes Miss Deathwave.” Dopinder agreed, putting the car in gear as the wind died down and the sun started shining again.

  


\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

  


  


“HI WADE” A colourful bubbly girl shouted out of the window as soon as you pulled up.

  


“Hi Yukio!” He called back enthusiastically.

  


He turned to say something to you but you were leaning against the taxi with an amused grin on your face.

  


“Wade? You name is Wade?”

  


“Wade Wilson, Merc with a mouth.” He elaborated.

  


“Well, now that your oh so secret identity had been blown you can lose the big red body condom.” You offered.

  


If you didn’t know better you’d say he was suddenly uncomfortable.

 

“No can do peaches, you’ve already had an emotionally trying… life. Wouldn’t want to make it worse.” He said.

  


“It can’t be any worse than anything I’ve already seen.” You laughed, thinking he was joking.

  


“Oh no, he is truly hideous.” Dopinder called from inside the car.

  


“Yes, thank you Dopinder. You can leave now.” Wade said.

  


Dopinder waved cheerily at you and drove away. Wade turned to walk to the door but you grabbed his arm and stopped him.

  


“Are you not taking it off because you don’t want to or because you think I’m going to be an asshole about what's under the mask?” You asked him.

  


“Survey says both!”

  


“Fine, keep it on. If you change your mind though… I am in fact not a complete douche so I probably won’t point out how ugly you are.”

  


“Fine. Fine. But don’t say I didn’t warn you!” He snapped, undoing the mask.

  


He paused when it was undone before ripping it off. You tilted your head to the side as you studied him.

  


“You look like a slighter better looking version of that guy who was in The Proposal with Sandra Bullock.” You informed him.

  


He blinked in shock at you, mouth gaping.

  


“Marry me?” He whispered reverently.

  


“Never gonna happen Daddypool.” You said with a wink and turned to go meet the bubbly ‘Yukio’ and her friend at the door.

  


“Hey, Deathwave right?” The short haired teen said.

  


“Yeah, that’s me.” You sighed and pushed your hood down.

  


“I’m Yukio” The bright one said.

  


“I’m Negasonic Teenage Warhead.” The other one introduced herself.

  


“And I thought I had a rough childhood, yours must have been a bitch with a name like that.” You remarked.

  


“I like her.” Negasonic told Wade before promptly walking away.

  


“Hey, we’re here to see the Professor. McAvoy or Stewart, either’s fine!” Wade called after her.

  


“He’s not here!” She yelled back.

  


“God fucking damn it! It’s a fanfiction, there’s no reason I can’t be around the X-Men!” Wade exclaimed, throwing his hands up in frustration and following the two girls inside.

  


“Hey, congrats on joining The Avengers! That is super cool!” Yukio said to you.

  


“Uh, yeah I’m not an Avenger. I was like a backup Avenger at best, now I’m just a criminal.” You told her.

  


Yukio and Negasonic exchanged a look.

  


“You haven’t watched the new have you?” Nega asked you.

  


\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

  


Your favorite part was where Secretary Ross addressed the press and told them you were a “Heroic young woman who put her own safety on the line to help take down a criminal who threatened the integrity of The Accords.” Before it cut to Benjamin Newlands being arrested.

  


Your least favorite part was the rest of it. Your entire history had been handed over to the world, there wasn’t a person who didn’t know where you had come from. It was the price you’d had to pay to be pardoned. It was terrifying, being so exposed. But it was also kind of liberating.

  


The press were really sticking with the whole “Deathwave” moniker and you were being hailed as The Newest Avenger.

  


“So how afraid of me are people now?” You asked the room.

  


“Honestly? People are kind of numb to super-powered people. So you have apocalyptic powers, so what? I think they feel sorrier for you than anything.” Nega said with a shrug.

  


“Wonderful.” You sighed.

  


You knew your friends probably had good intentions when they outed you but the fact remained that they had been lying to you for weeks. They had somehow covered up a severe bullet wound to your chest and messed with your memories. Their list of sins was piling up and you were finding it harder and harder to remain in a forgiving mood.

  


“Have you got a phone I could borrow?” You asked Nega and Yukio.

  


Nega gestured to the hallway and you followed a bouncing Yukio to a landline, Wade hot on your heels.

  


“Who are we calling?” He stage whispered at you.

  


“My dad.”

  


“Oooooooooohhhhhhhhh”

  


You dialed Tony’s number from memory and it rang once before Friday picked up.

  


“You have reached the voicemail for...”

  


“It’s me Friday,” You interrupted.

  


There was silence and then a click before Tony’s voice came through the line.

  


“Kit Kat?? Where the hell are you, are you ok?” He demanded.

  


“I’m fine. No bullet wounds I need you to hide from me if that’s what you mean.” You snapped.

  


He sighed.

  


“Yeah, it’s her. She’s ok.” He said to someone on the other side of the phone.

  


“Listen kid, it’s a long story. I can explain everything though, I swear. Just tell me where you are.”

  


“I’m not sure I want you anywhere near me right now Tony. Any of you.” You admitted.

  


“Sweetheart we had to do it, there’s a lot you don’t understand. We were ordered not to tell you anything.”

  


“Ordered? I massacred people Tony, I was shot!! Who the hell gave you the right to keep that from me?” You screamed.

  


“YOU DID!” He yelled back.

  


You rocked back on your heels and furrowed your brow.

  


“We were acting on your orders.” Tony sighed.

  


Deadpool gasped loudly.

  


“And the plot thickens!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So after this chapter, I think it's clear the reader has too much chemistry with Deadpool to be ignored! This is now a Deadpool/Reader pairing. Or a Deadpool/Reader/Bucky pairing r urj 4 32rj1wo e3 3e JKBN;PN
> 
> NO! This is still a Bucky/Reader story. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go clean blood out of my laptop.


	28. An Old Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Italics are memories/flashbacks.

You had hung up on Tony after his revelation. What were you supposed to say to him? You were too shocked to know how to deal with the information. You had told them to take your memories and lie to you about it? You felt a deep stab of self loathing at your cowardice, having the memories taken away instead of dealing with them. You were rudely snapped out of your thinking by Deadpool repeatedly hitting you on the shoulder.

 

“It’s happening!” Wade shrieked and started running around like a headless chicken before he hurried to stand next to you and leaned against the wall in the most uncasual attempt at a casual position you had ever seen.

 

You looked up to watch the crowd of people coming down the hall towards you. The first person you noticed was the white haired woman who walked with the confidence and grace of a queen. The traditionally handsome brunette man next to her had some kind of visor covering his eyes and his hand was linked with a strikingly beautiful red head. In the centre of the crowd was an older bald gentleman in a fancy wheelchair, his eyes held wisdom and his smile was kind.

 

As they approached it was the fifth member of the group who your attention was focused on though. The imposing wild looking man was making the hairs on the back of your neck shiver and your hackles raised. You had an almost instinctual reaction to him and it wasn’t a good one. Especially when he leant over and took a deep whiff of your hair.

 

“Did… did you just sniff me?” You asked uncomfortably and shuffled away from him, opting to hide behind Wade.

 

“Do you want to sniff _me_?” Wade asked Logan hopefully.

 

“Logan?” The professor asked.

 

“I thought she smelled familiar. Smelled a bit like someone I used to know.” Logan explained.

 

“Interesting. I apologise for Logan Miss Stark, he didn’t mean to startle you. He has an almost uncanny sense of smell and something about your scent appears to have caught his interest.” The Professor apologised.

 

“So do I but I don’t go around sniffing people. You know why? Because it’s rude.” You reprimanded Logan.

 

“I’ll try to watch my manners in future Princess.” Logan snarled sarcastically and you knew he would do anything but.

 

“Miss Stark I am Professor Charles Xavier, I’m glad to finally have the chance to meet you. This is Jean Grey, Scot Summers and Ororo Munroe. Though you may know the former two better as Cyclops and Storm. This of course is Logan, or Wolverine.”

 

Wade unceremoniously shoved you out of the way so he could take the Professor's hand and shake it enthusiastically.

 

“I have waited so long for this moment, you don’t even want to know the things I had to do for the author to make it happen.” He said with a shudder.

 

You rolled your eyes at him and turned to Professor Xavier.

 

“It’s nice to meet you Professor. I owe you and the X-Men a long overdue debt of gratitude for the part you all played in taking down the facility I was being held in.”

 

“Miss Stark are you unaware of how the X-Men came to find the facility?” Storm asked you with a frown.

 

“Uh, actually I don’t know the exact details.” You admitted.

 

“I sent them there my darling.” Someone said as he came down the corridor. A very familiar someone.

 

“ _We have a new acquisition for you to play with today Vernichtung.” One of the guards taunted you as you were dragged from your cell at gunpoint._

 

_You were shoved unceremoniously into the training room or as the guards called it ‘The Battledome’._

 

_The door on the opposite side of the room opened and a man was dragged in._

 

“ _Put this one through his paces little monster, or we will.” A guard said as she shoved him towards you._

 

_There was a clanging sound as the doors were locked from the outside and the man looked up, his eyes locking on you._

 

“Remy?” You asked, hardly daring to believe it.

 

He grinned charmingly at you and you sprinted down the hall and threw your arms around him.

 

“Wait, there was no foreshadowing this! How do you know Gambit?” Wade demanded.

 

Remy smiled jovially as he embraced you.

 

“Ah but the lady and I go back a long ways, do we not?” He said.

 

“I had no idea you survived Remy. You sent the X-Men?”

 

“I had a debt to repay, let it never be said Remy Lebeau does not pay his debts hmm?”

 

“Alright Remy Lannister you might have seen her first but I seen her more. As in more of her. I sneaked a peek when we were doing our makeover montage.” Wade said shamelessly.

 

“I knew it!”

 

“Ah but Wade, the lady and I are bonded by something that runs far deeper than your mere infatuation.” Remy insisted.

 

“ _We have to fight, it will be easier if you just submit.” You told the man._

 

“ _Ma cherie, to submit is not in my nature. Though for a woman as sublime as you I could have made an exception if it were not for the circumstances.”_

 

“ _If you don’t submit, they will find a way to make you. You’ll bend or you’ll break. They don’t care which.”_

 

“ _Or I will escape, Remy is good at that.”_

 

“ _Remy? That’s your name?”_

 

“ _My apologies, I should have introduced myself sooner. Remy Lebeau, at your service.”_

 

“ _I am sorry Remy.” You said, and you truly were._

 

_But you attacked regardless._

 

“I am not infatuated!” Wade said indignantly.

 

“You stole me out of government custody because footage of me killing people gave you a boner.” You deadpanned.

 

“Sounds like you alright Wade.” Logan huffed.

 

“I’m glad you finally have the chance to be reunited.” The professor smiled at you and Remy.

 

“I always thought you had died, or hoped if you weren’t dead you had forgotten about that horrible place.” You said to Remy.

 

_Day after day they pitted you against Remy, making you fight until one or both of you were bleeding._

 

“ _Remy could leave, if you would help him.” He whispered to you as he tried to pin your arms._

 

“ _There is no escape, not from this place. There is no hope.” You said under your breath._

 

“ _Remy simply refuses to believe that. Help him and Remy will show you.”_

 

_You could not escape but you were Vernichtung, they would never let you go. If Remy tried they would just kill him but that was a kinder fate than the one that was waiting for him. There was also the very slimmest of chances he would actually get away. Either way, his best chance would be outside of these walls.”_

 

“ _Take a hit, go down. When the guards come in I will take them out, that will be your only chance.” You told him quietly._

 

“ _Remy will take it.”_

 

“He didn’t forget. He told us of the facility, where it was and the mutants being held there.” Professor Xavier informed you.

 

“Thank you.” You told Remy earnestly.

 

“You don’t owe the X-Men a thanks for taking it down, if it weren’t for you we might never have known about it.” Storm told you.

 

You were slightly taken aback. In all the time since you had been away from that place you hadn’t realized you had been partially responsible for your own freedom. All because of one act of kindness for the man stood next to you.

“Perhaps you and I could retire to my study to discuss your impromptu but not unwelcome visit Miss Stark.” The professor suggested.

 

“Yes, thank you professor. I’ll see you soon Remy, Wade… Behave, at least a little?” You begged.

 

As you followed the professor you knew Wade wouldn’t listen, but hey at least you’d tried. You were led to a cosy, elegant study and took the proffered seat.

 

“Do I really need to tell you why I’m here Professor?” You asked.

 

“Our friend Wade led you to believe I can help you uncover your memories.”

 

“The way you said that sounds like he was wrong.” You said dejectedly.

 

“It depends Miss Stark. Miss Maximoff was the one to hide your memories and while I could uncover them it would be easier if she were to do it. However I believe I can assist her to make the process smoother for you. The buried memories contain quite a bit of trauma. Which leads me to ask, are you sure you want to recover them?”

 

“I’m sure. They’re mine and I need them. What I did isn’t something I can hide from.”

 

“You can, but you don’t think you deserve to.”

 

“There’s no hiding anything from you I guess.” You sighed.

 

“No, there is not unfortunately. I commend you for wanting the memories back though. Hiding from oneself is never a wise plan.”

 

“So if I can get Wanda here, you’ll help me?” You confirmed.

 

“I will certainly try but the mind is a complex thing and I make no promises.”

 

“Trying is more than enough Professor.”

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

“So let me be real clear about this, you know where she is but you won’t tell us and you’re not going after her?” Sam clarified with an irritated look.

 

“Yeah Icarus, I’m giving her space because the alternative is pushing her away.” Tony snapped.

 

“As long as you’re sure she’s safe man. That girl has a gift for getting in trouble.” Sam sighed.

 

“You don’t have to tell me. I could handle it if she was trashing sports cars or sleeping her way down the eastern seaboard but she keeps getting in trouble while trying to do the right thing.” Tony bemoaned.

 

“Wonder where she gets that from?” Sam said sarcastically.

 

“Are you implying I try to do good? I am offended Wilson, very offended.”

 

“All I’m saying is we’re lucky she hasn’t created a killer robot yet.”

 

“Boss, Miss Maximoff wants you to know she has received a call from Professor Charles Xavier asking her to go to his school so she can help him recover Miss Starks lost memories.” Friday announced.

 

“She’s with the X-Men? I thought you said they couldn’t break her out?” Sam demanded.

 

“They didn’t. It was someone much, much worse.” Tony admitted with a sigh.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

“WADE!” Someone yelled angrily as you walked down the hallway to find the man in question.

 

Deadpool came flying out of a doorway and crashed into a wall. You rushed to him in a panic and were horrified to see three puncture wounds on his chest. You whirled round to see Logan standing with three metal claws protruding from his knuckles and you snarled, assuming a protective stance over Wade.

 

“Back down Princess, he had it coming” Logan snarled back at you.

 

“He’s ok, look.” Storm urged.

 

You glanced back at Wade, who was leaning casually in a provocative position on the floor and waving at you.

 

“Never knew you cared Peaches.” He giggled.

 

“Healing mutation. Wade is very hard to kill.” Jean told you with a kind smile.

 

“My mother had the same mutation.” You said with a hint of wonder.

 

Saying it out loud caused something to click into place in your head and your eyes went wide at the realization.

 

“I think I know how I survived being shot in the chest. I have multiple mutant strains and they’re all cut off from me, only accessible by Vernichtung. What if healing is one of those mutations? What if it’s the only mutation this isn’t synthetic?” You asked, though you weren’t sure who you were asking.

 

“Didn’t you blast those aliens without accessing the veiny black eyed demoness?” Wade pointed out.

 

“It’s not the only mutation you’re accessing.” Logan said gruffly.

 

“Beg your pardon?” You said.

 

Instead of answering Logan opted to take an intimidating stance and growl at you. Without thinking you growled back.

 

“You have animal characteristics. Sensed them the second I walked in.” Logan said.

 

“Do you exhibit any typically animal like behaviour?” Jean enquired.

You opened your mouth to rebut the accusations but paused. There was a reason Tony called you Kit Kat and Natasha called you Kotonok. Even as far back as the church you would leap through the rafters and prowl about. You were incredibly affectionate with people you cared for and standoffish with those you didn’t. You growled at people when you were displeased and your sense of smell and hearing were a little better than Steve and Bucky’s. It was more than possible Logan was right, it actually made a lot of sense.

 

“I might have a few things in common with… cats.” You admitted.

 

“Feline animalistic mutation.”

 

“Partially repressed, but it’s bleeding through. Hate to break it to you princess, but the damn is starting to leak.” Logan informed you.

 

And just when you thought the bad news was done. Was this bad news though?

 

“What does this mean? Is Vernichtung fading or is it getting stronger?” You wondered out loud.

 

“Don’t ask me, I’m not one of the sciencey types.” Logan huffed and walked away.

 

“I understand your father wanted to keep you away from the school, understandably. He wanted to keep you away from a testing environment, however maybe you could benefit from spending some time here occasionally.” Jean suggested.

 

“We could help you figure out the answers to some of your questions and if your mutations are surfacing we could help you learn to control them. You don’t need to make any decisions straight away.” Storm assured you.

 

“Is nobody going to pay attention to my very sexy posing going on down here?” Wade demanded.

 

“No”

 

“No”

 

“No”

 

You, Jean and Storm said in unison.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

Logan knocked on the door of the professors study and leaned on the doorframe.

 

“You didn’t tell her.” Logan said.

 

“That we suspect we know the identity of her biological father? No, I didn’t.” The Professor sighed.

 

“Think it’s a good idea to keep that from her?”

 

“After all that poor girl has endured, I think it would be kinder to keep it from her. She has found peace with Tony Stark, telling her anything could just cause her further upset. Perhaps one day she will be ready to hear it. However it is not my decision Logan, it is yours. And you have to be certain before you say anything.”

 

“She has the mutation and I can smell it on her. I’m sure.” Logan said heavily, sitting down on a chair.

 

“What are you going to do Logan?”

 

“I don’t know Chuck.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of spanners being thrown in this chapter. What are we thinking of them?
> 
> The Avengers return in the next chapter... Which means they'll meet the X-men. And Bucky will meet Wade Wilson and Remy... Muhahahahahaha. 
> 
> I'm still planning a sequel but I'm wondering if this fic will ever end tbh, I think I'll be posting chapters every day for the rest of my life! Probably after, depends on if any of you are good with an Ouija board.


	29. Iron Dad In Law

Wanda arrived not long after the professor called her, the problem was she didn’t come alone. You stood in front of a good portion of The Avengers with an extremely disgruntled expression. Steve, Sam, Bucky, Clint, Tony and Wanda looked back at you innocently.

 

“Going inside my head isn’t a group activity.” You stated.

 

“We never do anything as a family anymore.” Clint grumbled.

 

“Is everything all right ma’petite?” Remy asked, probably noticing your distressed expression as he came down the stairs.

 

He stood next to you and casually put his hand on your hip as he looked at you in concern. You felt several pairs of eyes zero in on his hand.

 

“Who’s your friend Kit Kat? I’m Tony Stark, you know, her father? Also Iron man.” Tony said, puffing his chest up.

 

“Ah but of course Remy knows who you are Mr Stark, you are as they say, a legend.” Remy said charmingly, offering Tony his hand.

 

You felt Bucky’s eyes burning holes through your skull and tried not to look at him.

 

“Alright guys, why are you all here? We only need Wanda.” You asked.

 

“Moral support.” Steve offered.

 

“We missed you.” Sam tried.

 

“Uh huh, and the real reason?” You pressed.

 

There were a few awkward looks amongst them and they didn’t answer.

 

“Oh my god, are here to make sure I’m not poached by the X-Men?” You asked, outraged.

 

The guilty looks were answer enough.

 

“Unbelievable.” You muttered.

 

“We’re just protecting out interests!” Clint tried to defend.

 

Sam and Tony took a step back, separating themselves from him while Steve looked apologetic. Bucky just continued glaring at Remy.

 

“Your what?” You snarled at Clint and he paled.

 

“Our friend, we’re protecting out friend!” He backtracked.

 

“Ah ma’petite, you are a most powerful and striking warrior. Do not be so harsh on those who fear losing your alliance.” Remy soothed you.

 

Your anger visibly deflated and you went from furious to mildly irritated as Remy squeezed your shoulder comfortingly.

“Fine. I don’t have time for this anyway. WILSON!” You yelled.

 

“Jesus, I’m right here!” Sam grumbled and you shot him an absolutely vicious smirk.

 

“I wasn’t shouting _you.”_ You informed him.

 

Right on cue, Deadpool came sliding down the bannister.

 

“Yes honeybun? OH AVENGERS!” He shrieked so loudly you all winced.

 

“Oh man this is the best day ever, The Avengers AND the X-Men! I can finally fulfil my lifelong dream of being the stuffing in a Wolverine/Captain America meaty man sandwich! Cap! Such an honour!” Deadpool rambled, saluting Steve.

 

Steve looked perplexed and Sam shoved his fist into his mouth to keep from laughing. Wade peeled his mask over his mouth as he reached Clint.

 

“Super pleased to meet you Mister Haweye sir, wow your arms are even more magnificent in person. Those are the kind of arms you want holding you up against the wall and wrapped around you afterwards, know what I mean?” Clint just shot him an amused glance and definitely not on purpose, flexed a little.

 

“The other Wilson. My brother from another mother.” Wade offered a fistbump to Sam, who gave it as he shook violently from the effort of containing his laughter.

 

“How’s the Night’s Watch going Jon Snow?” Deadpool asked Bucky, who just glared at him unamused and that was it, it was too much for both you and Sam.

 

Even Tony and Clint smirked as you and Sam damn near fell over laughing and Wanda’s amused giggle caught Wade’s attention as he more or less floated over to her. You hurried over, to protect Wanda from Wade’s advances.

 

“She’s with Vision, Wade. Back off.” You warned him before he could do something untoward and gross.

 

“So? You’re with...” You panicked and stamped on his foot and kneed him in the stomach before he could finish his sentence.

 

“You’re with who?” Tony snapped, alarmed as he glanced suspiciously at Remy.

 

Everybody else, who knew you were with Bucky looked at you expectantly and you froze.

 

“Oh sorry Iron Daddy, she wanted to be the one to tell you.” Wade said, well wheezed.

 

You shot him a warning look that was more panic than anything and the evil merc threw his arm around you waist and dipped you dramatically.

 

“We’re in luuuuurve.” Wade said in a sing song voice.

 

You were stuck. You either refuted Wade’s claim and he’s probably tell Tony you were really with Bucky or you could play along. Neither option was particularly attractive. You caught Bucky’s eye. He was looking at you expectantly with a raised brow. At least it would be easy enough for Bucky to understand. You hoped.

 

“What can I say? I love a man in head to toe spandex.” You said and Tony looked like he was going to be sick.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

You had never met anyone like Charles Xavier. Somehow, his mere presence had wrangled the assorted superhero’s into behaving without him having said a word.

 

“I believe it is best if Miss Maximoff unlocks the memories first, then I will step in, metaphorically. I will hold the memories in stasis while Miss Stark sorts through them one by one so she is not overwhelmed. Miss Stark had requested Mr Wilson, that is Wade Wilson be present for the process.” Xavier explained.

 

“Wade has excelled healing, if my abilities go haywire he’s the only person who can get near me.” You explained.

 

“Not the only one princess, I’ll be there as well.” Logan said from the doorway where he was leaning, half in the room, half out.

 

“Logan’s own healing allows him to safely approach.” Xavier assured you and you nodded your assent.

 

“Kit Kat, can I have a word? In private.” Tony asked.

 

“No.” You said.

 

“Come on kid, please? He tried again.

 

“Tony you’re not going to talk me out of this. I’m not mad you all kept it from me, if you’re telling the truth then you were only doing as I asked. But I was being an idiot and a coward. I need to remember what I did and learn to live with it.” You told him.

 

He sighed heavily and shrugged in a ‘do what you want’ kind of way.

 

“Before we begin, I think we need to know the exact nature of your request and the events leading up to it.” Xavier told you and you turned to Wanda.

 

“So did I ask you to take my memories before or after Vernichtung healed my bullet wound?” You asked her and she looked taken aback.

 

“How did you…?” She asked.

 

“Well I can’t heal on my own but my mother could, makes sense that in all the mutations that were forced on me there’ an original one, a natural one.” You explained.

 

“You’re right. Bruce thinks it’s why Docherty wanted you in the first place. You were primed to survive the alterations he made to your DNA.” Tony said heavily.

 

“Right. So what happened?” You asked.

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

AFTER MEXICO

 

_Helen Cho hung her head low and sighed heavily. She had done all she could and there was nothing more that could be done._

 

“ _Call it.” She said sadly._

 

“ _Time of death, 2:37 am.”_

 

_With a heavy heart Helen steeled herself to tell Mr Stark his daughter was dead. She turned and walked to the door when she heard the lone beep of the heart monitor and paused. A few long seconds passed and there was another beep and then another._

 

“ _She’s alive.”_

 

_Your spine bowed dramatically and your back arched off the hospital bed as the monitors started going haywire. Your eyes shot opened and locked onto Helen’s. You ripped the tubing from your throat with a squelching sound before she could stop you._

 

“ _Run.” You gasped as the black veins began to ripple over your skin._

 

“ _Everybody out, now!” Dr Cho demanded and the room cleared in seconds._

 

_She was the last to leave and she looked back at you from the door._

 

“ _RUN” You screamed desperately as your eyes darkened into the terrifying obsidian._

 

_She listened, running as fast as she could._

 

“ _What’s going on?” Tony demanded as she ran into him in the corridor._

 

“ _Vernichtung.” She gasped in explanation._

 

_Tony looked like he was ready to rush into the operating theatre as a loud crashing came from the room and Helen grabbed his arm._

 

“ _She told us to run.” She tried to warn him, like you had warned them._

 

“ _That’s my daughter in there!” he argued, trying to pull away._

 

“ _Mr Stark! I don’t think it is.” She said apologetically._

 

_As if to punctuate her point there was an inhuman scream from the surgical room. It was high pitched and animalistic, and sent a chill up the spine of everyone in earshot. There was one last crash and then nothing. An eerie silence that was almost loud in it’s lack of sound settled over them like a heavy fog._

 

_The doors at the end of the corridor crashed open and Wanda stumbled through them, a pained expression on her face._

 

“ _Where is she?” Wanda gasped._

 

“ _Miss Maximoff? What are you doing?” Helen asked, rushing over in concern, medical training kicking in as she hurriedly checked Wanda over._

 

“ _Tony, I have to go to her. She’s screaming for me, I can hear it in my head. I need to help her.” Wanda sobbed._

 

“ _Mr Stark we don’t know what is in that room, you can not go in there.” Helen snapped._

 

“ _Tony please. She needs us.” Wanda begged._

 

“ _Stay here, I’ll be right back.” Tony told them._

 

“ _Mr Stark. TONY! You can’t.” Helen begged._

 

“ _That’s my little girl doc, no matter what colour her eyes are.” He said resolutely and rushed into the operating theatre._

 

_You were curled into a ball on the floor, your body shaking as you sobbed. Tony fell to his knees next to you and pulled you onto his lap._

 

“ _It’s ok sweetheart, I’ve got you. It’s ok.” He assured you._

 

“ _Pain and blood, so much pain and blood.” You whimpered._

 

“ _Where does it hurt Kit Kat? Tell me.” He begged._

 

_You shook your head and clutched onto him._

 

“ _CHO!” He yelled, standing up and carrying you in his arms into the corridor._

 

_As soon as she saw you Wanda reached out for you and Tony carefully placed you next to her. You and Wanda wasted no time in latching onto each other._

 

“ _There’s so much screaming in her mind.” Wanda said._

 

“ _Wanda, I need you to make it stop.” You begged._

 

“ _Her wound is gone.” Helen noted._

 

“ _Wanda lock it away, all of it. You need to get rid of it and NEVER tell me what happened.” You sad vehemently._

 

“ _Yes Sestra, I can do that.” Wanda assured you._

 

“ _Wait what?” Tony asked._

 

“ _It’s too loud, for both of us. The memories, they are hurting her too much. We need to lock them away in her mind.” Wanda explained shakily._

 

_Tears tracked down Wanda’s face as she raised her hands to your temples._

“ _Hold the memories you want gone tightly, I will put them away.” Wanda told you as the red light crept around your head._

 

_It took no more than a minute before you slumped over unconscious and Wanda breathed a sigh of relief._

 

“ _It is done. She will sleep for some time and when she wakes up she won’t remember. We can’t tell her anything or it could hurt her even more.”_

 

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

PRESENT DAY 

 

“I died?” You asked in shock.

 

“Yeah.” Tony said and that one world held a world of hurt.

 

You went to him and wrapped your arms around him.

 

“I’m sorry.” You whispered.

 

“Are you apologising for dying? Really?” He snorted with false amusement.

 

“Miss Stark, Miss Maximoff? May I speak to the two of you alone before we go any further?” Xavier asked, leaving the room without waiting for an answer.

 

You and Wanda exchanged a look and followed him to his study.

 

“Miss Stark the trauma you experienced seems to be stronger than I anticipated if it was enough to affect Miss Maximoff in the way it did.” He noted.

 

“Wanda.” You said sadly and she turned to you.

 

“It was not your fault Sestra, I just wanted to help you. I could have shut you out if I needed to.” She assured you.

 

“Are you saying you chose to put yourself through that? You could have just turned it off?” You asked, horrified.

 

“I didn’t want you to suffer, or suffer alone.”

 

“Miss Maximoff, did you see the memories you locked away? It is important you tell me anything you can remember.” Xavier pressed.

 

“There were flashes. Blood mainly, Blackness and...broken glass I think?” She remembered.

 

“I see. And are you confident we can proceed without you causing yourself pain?” Xavier asked.

 

“I can bring the memories out from where I buried them and let you take over without hurting myself.” Wanda assured you both.

 

“Well then, now we have a better idea of what we are expecting, are you sure you want to proceed Miss Stark?” Xavier asked you.

 

“I… I don’t know.” You admitted.

 

When you had found out your memories were taken, you immediatley wanted them back. Even when you found out it had been your choice you had been determined to do better than your past self. Now, you were wondering if it was the right choice. You already knew what had happened, if you wanted to face up to what you had done you could just watch a damn video of all the bloodshed. Did you really need to remember the aftermath?

 

“It remains your decision.” Xavier reminded you.

 

“What do you think I should do?” You asked Wanda.

 

“Sestra, you are my friend. My family. I love you and do not wish to see you in pain. I want you to let it be but I will support you if you choose to do this.” She told you, reaching out to take your hand.

 

“I feel like, if I don’t do this, if I just move on… I’m condoning what happened. What Vernichtung did. I know it’s not me but I still have to be held accountable. And I know they were Hydra, they didn’t deserve mercy but I still have to allow myself to feel guilty or I’m no better than them.” You explained to them.

 

“A noble way of thinking.” Xavier praised you.

 

“Let’s do this.” You decided.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

You were tied down at your own request, while Wade made jokes about how Logan could tie _him_ down anyday. Tony and The Avengers were close by but not in the room.

 

“Are you ready?” Xavier asked Wanda and she nodded, standing by your left shoulder.

 

“Once you have led me to the memories and unlocked them, I will take over and you may leave the room until it is safe to come back.” Xavier told her.

 

“Alright. I won’t be far though.” She assured you, or maybe herself.

 

“Are you ready Miss Stark?” Xavier asked.

 

“To have two people pick apart my brain like cotton candy? Sure, why not.” You said with a confident grin.

 

The red mist spread from Wanda’s fingers and you thought you could hear The Professor’s voice inside your head and then it went dark.

 

“Hello?” You called into the darkness.

 

There was no answer. You frowned and spun around in a circle, looking for something, anything other than darkness.

 

“Professor? Wanda?”

 

You were starting to worry, this wasn’t part of the plan. You stepped forwards, or maybe backwards. There was no direction in this place. Something crunched under your foot and you knelt down to look. There was broken glass littering the ground. You picked it up and saw your reflection in it.

 

Not broken glass.

 

A broken mirror.

 

You remembered now. Everything you had tried to forget. You had made a terrible, terrible mistake coming here. You weren’t trying to bury memories, you were trying to bury _IT._

 

“Welcome Back.” Vernichtung said as it stepped out of the darkness with a vicious snarl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reader: Dad, I'm dating Wade Wilson.  
> Tony: *sobbing* Why would you do this? Whyyyyy?  
> Reader: SIKE! I'm actually dating Bucky  
> Tony: Oh thank God!  
> ...  
> ...  
> ...  
> Tony: Wait WHAT?
> 
>  
> 
> I REALLY need to update the summary of this story. It does not explain a damn thing. I'm awful at summaries.


	30. The Beast Within

You had been so foolish, coming here. You thought you had made Wanda bury your memories of the massacre and you subsequent ‘death’ after it but it was so much worse than that. This wasn’t a memory, this was your subconscious.

 

This was the prison where Vernichtung was held and it was breaking out.

 

The last time you had been here you had been dying and had been forced to watch as it shattered the mirrors inside your mind it was trapped behind. You had clawed back control and in a desperate attempt to hide from it, had wiped all memory of this place away.

 

“Have you come to release me?” It asked with a curious tilt of it’s head.

 

“No, you don’t need me to fight any battles for you today…” It coldly calculated.

 

“You’re trying to release yourself, aren’t you?” You accused fearfully and it grinned ferally.

 

“Not just trying, I’m succeeding. Every day I claw a little bit further out and when I’m free you will be the one behind the looking glass.”

 

Your blood ran cold and you wondered where your companions were.

 

“Professor?” You called out desperately.

 

“He’s coming, he’s fighting his way in, past all your shields. He can feel your fear, he won’t be able to save you though.” It warned.

 

It was disconcerting, seeing your own face so twisted with rage and hatred. It was slowly creeping towards you, circling you like a predator and even the way it moved was unlike you. You walked like a human, this thing walked like a prowling jungle cat in a human body.

 

“I don’t need saving. I’ve fought you all my life, you stay caged until I let you out. This is MY subconscious, my domain. I’m not the one who needs to be afraid.” You warned lowly.

 

It growled at you, it’s face contorting with fury.

 

“Then let us see who is stronger, if you are not afraid.” It said and leapt for you.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

In the room where Jean, Scot and Storm were waiting with the portion of Avengers, Tony was pacing furiously.

 

“Deadpool? She’s dating Deadpool? This is all your fault.” Tony snapped at Steve.

 

“How is this my fault?” Steve was confused.

 

“You never took her on a second date!” Tony exclaimed.

 

“Oh now you’re ok with her dating Steve. I’ll bet you’d rather she was seeing anyone else huh? Pretty much anyone is an improvement over Wade Wilson.” Clint sniggered, eyeing a glaring Bucky.

 

“Ok Tony, we weren’t really dating. I didn’t reject her or anything. And I’m sure they were joking, I don’t think she’s actually dating Deadpool.” Steve placated him.

 

“I dunno man, they looked pretty loved up. Did you see the way they were around each other? That’s real passion, you can’t fake that.” Sam added.

 

“What about that Remy guy? He definitely liked her and he seemed nice, very charming.” Tony suggested.

 

“You only like him because he called you a legend.” Clint pointed out.

 

“Good with the parents, that’s important in a partner. Plus she seemed really at ease around him, and he was definitely eyeing her up. They had some real chemistry going on.” Sam put in with a smirk.

 

Bucky’s eyes were getting colder as he glared at Sam.

 

“Remy was one of the mutants taken by Project Vernichtung. He was there for a few months before your daughter helped him escape and he was the one who told the X-Men where to find it when you helped us infiltrate it.” Jean explained.

 

“Wait, they knew each other _before_?” Tony asked.

 

“So they have history. The kind that epic love stories grow from.” Sam noted.

 

“Sam..” Wanda chided sensing Bucky’s distress.

 

“I’m just saying, this Remy dude seems like he might have a thing for her. Starting to see how deep that affection might run, on both sides.” Sam explained with a shrug.

 

Jean and Wanda both inhaled sharply.

 

“What is it? What’s wrong?” Tony asked straight away.

 

“Jean?” Storm gently asked.

 

“They’ve run into complications. Miss Stark is suffering physical wounds from psychological trauma. They have it under control, you can’t go in there. Any distractions could cause Charles to pull from her mind suddenly, causing irreparable damage.” Jean warned them.

 

“So we just sit up here on our asses and twiddle our thumbs?” Tony snapped.

 

“The Professor had this handled, if you go in you’re not just risking your daughters safety, you risk The Professors as well.” Scott told him.

 

“I’m taking a walk.” Bucky announced and strode out.

 

“I’ll go with him.” Steve said and hurried after him.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

“Whoa, gross!” Wade announced as your unconscious body jerked against the restraints and your ribs made a cracking sound.

 

Blood poured from your nose and Logan turned your head to the side, allowing it to flow freely without going down your throat.

 

“What’s happening?” Wade asked, poking your cheek curiously.

 

“Not a clue.” Logan huffed, slapping Wade’s hand away.

 

“Should we help?” Wade asked.

 

“How exactly are we going to do that?”

 

Wade crouched down so he was on the same level as you.

 

“Heyyyy Peaches, if you can hear me, you’ve got this!” He cheered encouragingly.

 

“Wade, shut the fuck up.” Logan snapped.

 

“Whatever you’re doing chuck, hurry it up. She can’t take much more of this.” Logan muttered in concern as bruises blossomed across your skin.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

Your head snapped back as Vernichtung smacked you across the jaw and you snarled and wrapped your arms around it’s middle, pile-driving it into the floor and straddling it.

 

“Why a mirror?” It hissed as you drew your arm back.

 

“What?” You paused in confusion at the seemingly random question.

 

“Why trap me in a mirror?”

 

“I don’t know.”

 

“Yes you do.”

 

“I don’t.” You yelled, driving your fist into its face with a satisfying crunch.

 

“YOU DO!” It screamed through bloody lips.

 

“I don’t know!! Poetic irony? You look like me, you wear my face and I’m terrified of the day I look in the mirror and you’re the reflection I see?” You ranted as it wrestled you, trying to get free.

 

“You are not like The Hulk, or even your precious Bucky and his Winter Soldier. I’m not a parasitic personality taking up residence in your mind and you know it.” It snarled.

 

It _was_ right and you _did_ know it. Faced with the real Vernichtung, not a nightmare or video you couldn’t deny it any longer.

 

“All those years you suffered in a cage, beaten down, your bones broken over and over, your skin split and bleeding, being told how you would destroy the world… You didn’t really believe you were unscathed by it did you?” It asked you derisively.

 

“You’re me. My dark side.” You whispered.

 

“All that anger, all that hatred, all that potential for evil. You pushed it so far down you actually managed to separate it from yourself. You wanted so badly to be good you tore yourself in two. I’m not some monster created by Docherty, I’m the monster you made because you couldn’t bear to admit that you _were_ a monster.” It spat at you, pushing you off it and crouching beside you.

 

“I am NOT a monster!” You insisted.

 

“Then why make me? If I’m not a monster why was I ever created? Because I’m the part of you that _wants_ to destroy the world and everyone in it. You suffered, why shouldn’t everyone else? Forget watching the world burn, you want to make it bleed. You want to rip apart all that’s good and pure until the streets run with rivers of red and the world drowns and chokes on it’s own blood.”

 

You backed away from it in horror.

 

“It is not the potential or desire for violence that makes somebody a monster. We all have the potential for evil within us and the lengths you go to so you might deny that part of yourself and fight it prove that you are not evil.” Xavier said from behind you as he finally broke through the barriers in your mind.

 

“Professor. We shouldn’t have come here.” You said.

 

“Forgetting about this was only a temporary fix my dear, it is time you faced her. It is time you faced yourself.”

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

Bucky stormed outside, pacing across the well manicured front lawn of the mansion. Steve stood a little bit away, silently waiting on Bucky to start talking.

 

“I haven’t spoken to her in days Steve! Days! And I find her here, holed up with two men who are all over her and she runs off without saying a word to me!” Bucky ranted.

 

“Buck, Tony was stood right there. You agreed to keep it a secret, if you weren’t ok with that you should have said.” Steve reasoned.

 

“She could have… Fuck. I don’t know, something.”

 

“She could have what Bucky? Thrown caution to the wind, risked pushing her father away just to assure you what you already know? Remy and Wade aren’t the ones she’s with, she’s with you.”

 

“Doesn’t feel like it.” Bucky muttered.

 

“James Buchanan Barnes pull yourself together.” Steve snapped and Bucky stopped pacing to look at Steve in shock.

 

“She chose you, don’t make that seem less than it is. You love her, don’t you dare mess that up because you’re jealous.”

 

“It’s not that Steve, it’s not. Alright yeah, I’m jealous she has ‘chemistry’ and ‘history’ with that Remy fella but that’s not what I’m scared of.” Bucky admitted.

 

“Well what the hell _are_ you afraid of?”

 

“I’m afraid she’ll never love me the way I love her.”

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

“I don’t want that be that thing Professor.” You protested.

 

“I know, and you should not allow it to break free. But you can’t hide from it either.”

 

“So what do I do?” You pleaded desperately.

 

“Admit to yourself what it is, what you are.” He urged you.

 

You turned slowly to the sneering thing and did what the Professor had asked.

 

“I knew Docherty was evil and he wanted me to be as well. I fought against it but nobody can fight forever. Every day in that place, living in that hell without any hope… It broke me.” You acknowledged.

 

“I felt all the anger, the bloodlust growing inside me and it frightened me. So I buried it deep down inside me, caging it alongside all the powers that I was afraid of. All my worst impulses, every dark thought, every bit of anger, every violent instinct, I shoved it away. And I created what Docherty had spent years cultivating, I created Vernichtung.” You admitted emotionally and your eyes burned as the tears fell.

 

You looked at this thing, this paragon of evil and said the truth that was literally staring you in the face.

 

“I _AM_ Vernichtung.”

 

“You kept me at bay for so long but as soon as you left that place and came into the real world, your control started to wane. It is my turn to walk in the sun.” It, she, _you_ sneered.

 

“Maybe, but not today.” You vowed.

 

A mirror shimmered into existence behind it and Vernichtung snarled.

 

“I can close the door but you need to keep it locked.” Charles warned you.

 

“You aren’t strong enough to contain me anymore.” It chuckled.

 

“Listen you demonic wannabe, you might be me but you’re the worst of me, you have no fucking idea what I am capable of.” You snarled.

 

You shoved with every single ounce of power you had, screaming with the exertion and sent it sailing back behind the mirror.

 

“Find a way to lock the cage but understand this, it is only a temporary solution. This will only give us time to find a real way to deal with it.” He told you as the glass rattled and Vernichtung screamed.

 

“The more human you become the stronger I am, run back to your father and let him comfort you, it will feed my strength. Laugh with your friends and the glass will start to crack. Be with your lover and the glass will shatter. The more you love, the faster you die!” Vernichtung hissed at you.

 

In the mansion you and Charles awoke.

 

“Lock the door. Now!” Charles urged you.

 

You knew what you had to do.

 

“Untie me.” You instructed Wade.

 

“Do it.” The professor agreed.

 

You could feel the monster under the surface scrabbling for purchase and it felt like you were being ripped apart from the inside.

 

“HURRY!” You screamed and Logan extended his claws, shredding the restraints holding you down.

 

You leapt to your feet, holding on to your own mind becoming more difficult. If you were going to lock the door in your mind you needed to run.

 

Rushing for the door you hurtled through it, determined to do what needed to be done to stop Vernichtung from taking over. You ran through the halls at breakneck speed, your hair streaming behind you. You burst into the room where The Avengers and X-Men were waiting and bypassed them all. You ran for the front doors and threw yourself through them.

 

If you were trapped in somebody’s subconscious you wouldn’t tell them how you planned to escape, you would manipulate them into doing what you needed them to do. Vernichtung said love was your weakness which meant it was your strength.

 

And nobody made you stronger than Bucky.

 

You ran onto the grass and ignoring the Avengers and X-Men piling out of the door behind you, you pulled Bucky towards you and kissed him like your life depended on it, because it did.

 

And when he kissed you back, crushing you to his chest like you’d disappear if he didn’t hold on, you felt the lock in your mind snap shut.

 

“So I shouldn’t worry about Remy then?” He muttered against your lips.

 

“Remy?”

 

“You know, the one who’s staring at you with literal heart eyes. The one you have a history with, who you owe your freedom to.”

 

You pulled back and glared at him.

 

“That’s not how it works Bucky, you don’t love someone because you owe them anything. It’s not a choice, it just happens. Yes, Remy and I have a history but he’s not the one I’m in love with.” You said in exasperation.

 

It was only when his posture straightened and he looked at you with wide eyes did you realise what you’d just said. Your heart thumped in your chest erratically as you tried to think of a way to backtrack.

 

“You love me.” He stated.

 

“I didn’t say that, I said I didn’t love Remy.” You stuttered.

 

He closed the distance between you in one stride and you froze.

 

“You love me.” He stated again, more firmly.

 

“James...”

 

His fingers brushed lightly over your cheek and you realized you were crying softly.

 

“You love me.” He said a third time and there was wonderment and awe in his voice.

 

“Yes” You breathed out the word

 

“I love you, only you and always you James. I love you.” You professed, terrified and glad to have it out in the world.

 

“I love you too doll. More than anything.” He said and your breath caught in your chest.

 

He pulled you back in and his lips were a breath away from yours as his arm circled around your waist and his metal hand cradled your head.

 

“I love you.” He whispered against your lips.

 

As you closed the gap to kiss him and all your worries melted away under Bucky’s touch, neither of you noticed Tony who was standing at the door as you and Bucky kissed on the front lawn for everyone to see.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God, thank you to all you regular commenters. You guys are like my friends at this point (it's legally binding, you comment and we're friends) and I'm so grateful to you all. Comments and likes are like drugs to me, they make me really fucking happy and inspired. 
> 
> Also  
> Steve: Quit being a little bitch!  
> Bucky: I just wish she'd love me as much as I love her.  
> Reader: *yeets self at Bucky's* ONLY YOUR LOVE CAN SAVE ME.  
> Steve: .... Wish granted pal.


	31. Roses And Thorns

  **So I made a cover....**

 

It took you and Bucky an embarrassingly long time and a very loud coughing fit from Steve to notice you had an audience. You looked up just in time to see Wade creeping towards you with his arms spread.

 

“What? I just wanted a hug!” He lied.

 

You met Tony’s eyes for a brief second before he turned on his heel and stormed away from you.

 

“Hug Bucky.” You told Wade and ran after Tony.

 

You heard the distinct sound of someone being hit and Wade yelping as you ran after your dad.

 

“Dad, please wait.” You begged as you caught up to him in the hallway.

 

He stopped and whirled round to glare at you.

 

“Him? Of all the people in the world Kit Kat did it have to be him?” He said hoarsely.

 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t do it to hurt you.”

 

“Hurt me? Why would seeing my daughter sticking her tongue down the throat of the man who snapped my mothers neck hurt me?” he laughed derisively.

 

“Please.” You begged softly.

 

“Is this some kind of late teenage rebellion?” He demanded.

 

“Dad, I love him.” You protested, very much aware of how you sounded like a Disney princess.

 

“You’re a kid. You don’t know what love is and he’s not the one to show you. He’s a hundred year old brainwashed assassin. He’s unstable and violent and broken.” Tony yelled.

 

“Who else could understand me?” You asked.

 

“Not him. Not him. You want someone who understands you, date Romanov for god’s sake.”

 

“But I love Bucky. I don’t know why or how it happened. He’s the one I need and you don’t understand how much I need him.” You insisted.

 

“You’re right about that. I don’t understand.”

 

“I’m sorry, I never meant to hurt you.”

 

“After everything I’ve done for you, this is how you repay me?”

 

You recoiled from him at the harshness of his words and didn’t see the look of instant regret on his face as you turned and ran away from him, stifling your sobs as you fled.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

You had found refuge on the second floor, on a window ledge. You were perched on it, your head leaning against the glass.

 

What Tony had said had hurt you because there was truth in it. You did owe him everything and he deserved better but… So did Bucky. Your heart broke for Tony but Hydra was responsible, not Bucky and it wasn’t fair to punish him for what he had been forced to do.

 

Tony knew that, and he had forgiven the former assassin but that didn’t eradicate all the pain. Just like knowing it was hurting your father couldn’t eradicate the love you felt for Bucky.

 

You needed to pull yourself out of this funk. Vernichtung’s continued mental incarceration depended on you giving into the good emotions you experienced, not dwelling on the bad. You had to have faith that you and Tony could find your way through this.

 

You heard someone approach and saw their reflection in the window before you saw them.

 

“Remy?”

 

“I was wondering where you were hiding Ma’petite. Your lover is looking for you.” he informed you.

 

“I just needed a second to breathe.” You said.

 

Remy sat next to you and smiled softly, offering you something with a flourish. It was a single red rose.

 

“Remy I...”

 

“Ah, don’t fret. I know you only have eyes for The Soldier. Remy wants you to have the rose as a reminder of how Remy sees you.” He insisted.

 

“And how does Remy see me?” You asked.

 

“Roses can grow and flourish in the harshest of climates. The most beautiful roses have survived the worst conditions and they have the sharpest thorns. You, my dearest, are the most beautiful and sharpest Rose of all.” He told you.

 

You tentatively reached out and took it from him, bringing it up to your face so you could inhale the sweet scent, a small happy smile graced your lips. Good emotions.

 

“Thank you.” You told him softly.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

Tony found you not long after when you had wandered outside to look for Bucky.

 

“The Professor and I have spoken. I think it’s best you spend some time here.” Tony told you.

 

“I do something you don’t approve of and you ship me off to boarding school, is that really how you want to play this? You realise I’m not a child? I’m an adult, at some point you have to accept that.” You raged.

 

“You’re sheltered, you haven’t been exposed to many people outside of The Avengers. You haven’t been exposed to people like you. These people can help you with what’s going on inside your head and all the powers that are inside you.”

 

“No.” You stated.

 

“No? You do realise I OWN the Avengers compound and the Tower. If I want to send you somewhere else, I can.”

 

“You realise I can call Fury and go join him, or anyone on the UN now that I’m legit. Hell, I bet I could tell Wade I’m moving in with him and he’d roll with it. You aren’t my whole world anymore Tony, and I know that’s scary for you. You need to learn to deal with it though.”

 

It was a rare instance where Tony was shocked into silence.

 

“You will always be the person I love most in the world. When I think of home, I will always think of you first. But _because_ of you I am my own person now and I get to make my own choices. You don’t have to like or agree with them but you do have to let me make them. I guess if you’d rather push me away though… Well just know I’ll be waiting to come home when you’re ready.” You told him.

 

“I’ll never kick you out. You can stay in the compound but I’ll be staying in The Tower for a while. I just can’t… I can’t look at you right now Kid. I know you didn’t mean to hurt me, but you did.” He told you and walked away.

 

A few seconds later you heard the unmistakable sound of The Iron Suit taking off and wiped away a stray tear.

 

“He’s an idiot.” Logan said from behind you and you whirled around in shock.

 

It was a rare person who could sneak up on you, you must have been distracted.

 

“What?” You asked.

 

“Your dad, he’s a fool. Hearts not something that can be controlled or reasoned with. You love who you love, there’s no way around it.” He elaborated, somehow managing to sound gruff and sagely wise at the same time.

 

“Yeah but the man I love was manipulated into killing my fathers parents.”

 

“Nobody’s perfect.” Logan retorted with a shrug.

 

You snorted and once you started laughing, you couldn’t stop.

 

“Your friends are getting ready to leave.” Logan informed you.

 

“I guess that’s my cue. It was… nice to meet you?” You said unsurely.

 

The savage and wild man still made the skin on the back of your neck prickle. He huffed out a noise you guessed was a goodbye as you ran off to find Wade before you left. Wade was, unsurprisingly trying to sneak onto The Avengers quinjet and being hauled off it by Bucky. Bucky saw you coming and rolled his eyes, dumping the red clad mercenary at your feet before storming off to stand with Steve by the jet.

 

“Wade, I’m heading off now.” You told the merc, pulling him to his feet.

 

“Peaches no! Say it aint so!” He cried dramatically.

 

“Don’t worry, I have a feeling I’ll be seeing you again soon.”

 

“Oooh foreshadowing!” He gasped.

 

You chuckled and threw your arms around his neck.

 

“Thank you for everything. You’re a good friend.” You whispered and kissed him on the cheek.

 

“Never washing this mask again. In fact I’ll keep this one safe with my unicorn!”

 

You laughed as you walked away, turning your head to deliver your parting shot.

 

“See you around Daddypool.” You purred, winking at him.

 

You walked over to Bucky and Steve and the latter turned to you.

 

“Ok, Miss Grey and I have worked out a schedule for you to split your training between the Compound and here, barring missions.” The Captain informed you.

 

“You did what now?” You questioned.

 

“You’ll be doing sessions with the Professor and you’ll have a tutor as well to help train you.”

 

“Tutor… I have a… Oh for fuck sake.” You grumbled.

 

You turned to Bucky, exhausted by the recent events.

 

“Remember when I said I wanted us to just be us and then a whole load of crap went down?”

 

“Surprisingly I had noticed. Want to go home, lock the door and just be us?”

 

“Oh I really really do.”

 

“Come on then sweetheart.” Bucky said and threw you over his shoulder.

 

“James!” You shrieked as he chuckled and slapped your ass.

 

“We are in a school!” You hissed.

 

“There’s a joke in there about calling him Sir.” Clint quipped as Bucky carried you onboard.

 

You flipped Clint off as Bucky gently set you down on the seat and kissed your forehead affectionately.

 

You were going home and you were ready to relax and spend some uneventful time with the man you loved.

 

Things with Tony were rough but you had to have faith it would work out.

 

“Let’s go home.” You sighed and leaned your head on Bucky’s shoulder.

 

Outside the school Wade Wilson formed a love heart with his hands to frame the quinjet as it took off.

 

“Until we meet again Princess Peach. Oh don’t worry you, yes you reading this. Deadpool will return!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a fairly short chapter, to wrap up this part of the arc. Do we like the cover?
> 
> Bucky: I'm so glad we have finally admitted we are in love.  
> Reader: Me too, I'm glad it's out in the open and I'm sure Tony will come around eventually.   
> Bucky: Yeah, so should be smooth sailing for us now huh?  
> Deadpool: Oh man, you guys don't understand how sadistic the author is.


	32. Let Sleeping Soldiers Lie

When you had arrived back at the compound you had promptly been abandoned by Bucky as he grabbed Sam and Steve and hustled them away, leaving you pouting in the hallway. However when he came slinking back two hours later he was quickly forgiven when he explained his reason for leaving.

 

“I’ve never taken you on a date doll. So will you allow me to make it up to you and let me take you out tonight?” He begged, giving you a pair of puppy dog eyes that rivalled, nay beat Steve’s.

 

You grinned happily and practically floated to Wanda’s room to beg for her help getting ready.

 

To your surprise he didn’t take you very far, you stayed on the grounds actually. He led you through the tree’s at the edge of the compound to a small clearing set up with a picnic basket and a blanket on the ground.

 

“It was actually Sam’s idea.” he admitted with a grumble.

 

“Look at you, giving Sam credit!” You praised him and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

 

The picnic basket was filled with all your favourites but the food was hardly touched in favour of kissing the gorgeous man sat besides you. The innocent kisses and touches became more heated with every passing minute.

 

The last rays of the day’s sunlight streamed through the trees, lighting up the small clearing with a soft, warm glow. The way the light hit Bucky’s hair was almost ethereal and it was mesmerizing as he kissed his way across your collarbone, the warmth from his mouth a stark contrast to the cool breeze dancing across your skin.

 

When he had told you he was taking you on a date, this wasn’t what you had expected but it was perfect in it’s simplicity. So perfect it almost felt like a dream, but it wasn’t, it was so very real and the internal gratitude you felt for that fact was almost as intense as the lust roaring to life in your blood as your lover pushed you down onto the blanket.

 

His tongue ran across the thundering pulse point in your neck and you shuddered as his mouth closed around the sensitive spot. His teeth scraping over the skin awoke something feral and carnal in you and you stretched your neck as much as you could, exposing the vulnerable skin of your throat to him.

 

There was nothing to hide now and you offered Bucky what you could tell he wanted, the chance to leave his mark on you. He eagerly accepted and bit down gently until it was almost too painful, stopping at just the right point and licking and sucking the tender flesh to ease the sting. You responded with a breathy appreciative moan as you tightened your grip on his biceps.

 

The stars that were beginning to sparkle in the darkening sky were not as bright nor as magnificent as the stars that burst to life behind your eyelids as Bucky languidly rolled his hips into yours. Even through the coarse material of his slacks and the soft lace of your underwear his hard length was noticeable and the sensation of it pressed against your most intimate parts was spine tinglingly wonderful.

 

“You’re so fucking beautiful.” He professed.

 

“So I’m not ‘damaged goods with a poisonous personality wrapped in an average looking package’?” You asked, quoting his insult from all those weeks ago.

 

Part of you was just teasing him but a large part of you was hoping he didn’t still think that.

 

He leaned back to look at you, his eyes dark with the guilt and pain.

 

“I never thought that, I was too ashamed to admit I cared about you, even to myself. I said those things because I was embarrassed that Steve was accusing me of trying to flirt with you.” He admitted shamefully.

 

“It’s not like I didn’t deserve it. I was just as awful to you and _you_ didn’t deserve it.” You confessed.

 

“We were stupid.” He said.

 

“We were.” You agreed.

 

“Let’s not be stupid anymore.” He suggested and leaned forward to kiss you.

 

You eagerly and readily accepted him, your arms wrapping around him.

 

“I love you, every part of you.” He whispered into your skin like a promise.

 

But he didn’t, he couldn’t. Vernichtung was a part of you that could not be loved by anyone. If Bucky knew the truth about the monster contained within your soul he wouldn’t love you anymore. Nobody would.

 

“I love you too.” You whispered back.

 

Nobody could know the truth, it would remain between you and The Professor and you would find a way to eradicate Vernichtung so you were worthy of the love bestowed upon you.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

The soft buzzing of your phone alarm woke you and you sleepily turned it off. You didn’t remember coming inside last night which meant Bucky probably carried you. That explained the warm body at your back and the unfamiliar bedsheets.

 

You smiled happily and nuzzled into the pillow, ready to go back to sleep when you remembered why you even had an alarm set. You stifled a groan as you realised you had training with Natasha this morning. You tried to slip out of the bed as silently as possible but a metal arm snaked around your waist and yanked you backwards into a muscular chest.

 

“Buckyyy” You whined.

 

“Shhhhhhhh” He chastised.

 

“If I’m late to training Natasha makes me do crunches.” You complained and wriggled away from him.

 

He rolled over and settled his body on top of you, nestling his head into your cleavage.

 

“Ungh, you’re crushing me.” You wheezed.

 

“You’re a super soldier, you can take it.” He muttered into your chest sleepily.

 

You didn’t have time for this, you weren’t kidding when you said Natasha would punish you if you were late. As much as you’d rather stay and cuddle your sleepy soldier, your fear of Natasha was much greater than that want. You huffed and shoved at his shoulder, pushing yourself up at the same time.

 

You’d misjudged the strength you were putting into it and Bucky hadn’t been trying to stop you so as a result he was pushed not just off you, but off the bed. He landed with a thump on the floor and you froze in fear. Bucky sat up and his glaring face peering over the edge of the bed was hilarious and terrifying in equal measure and you ran for the door, laughter bubbling out of you.

 

“Love you!” You called over your shoulder through your giggles as you fled his room and sprinted for yours.

 

You were absolutely going to pay for that later, but he wasn’t as scary as Natasha and you had training to get to.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

Your back hit the mat for the fourth time in a row and you whimpered in pain as Natasha’s upside down face grinned smugly at you.

 

“I thought cat’s always landed on their feet?” Clint laughed from his position at the targets across the gym.

 

“And I though cats caught squawking little birds and ripped their beaks off so I guess I’m breaking a lot of stereotypes today!” You snarled at the archer as a laughing Natasha pulled you to your feet.

 

“Unless you want take over for Nat and see if we can’t change that?” You offered with a daring smirk.

 

Clint shrugged and put the bow down so he could saunter over as the gym doors swung open.

 

“Why don’t we double up?” Bucky called, clearly having heard you taunting Clint through the door.

 

“A Spider and a Hawk vs A Kitten and a Soldier? Sure why not?” Clint said.

 

“Oh no, she’s not on my team.” Bucky said jerking his chin at you.

 

You groaned and shot Nat a pleading look.

 

“Alright Barnes, she’s on mine. Hope you boys are ready to have your ego’s shredded.” Nat sassed.

 

They stepped onto the mat with cocky expressions and you and Natasha exchanged a knowing look.

You and Natasha had been sparring together for long enough you knew how the other thought.

 

You aimed a high kick at Clint’s face and as you’d hoped he caught your foot in mid air. Before he could do anything you reached behind yourself, wrapping an arm around the widows waist and pulling her around to your front, lifting her into the air. She took over from there, springboarding off your hip to wrap her thighs around Clint’s neck and pushing him backwards.

 

Natasha used her perch on Clint to hold her arm out at the right height for you to grab it and vault into the air, your own thighs wrapping around an unsuspecting Bucky’s neck as Clint hit the mats with Natasha straddling him.

 

“Nah fuck this, there’s two of them now. I’m out!” Clint yelled, slapping the mat to tap out.

 

Bucky gripped your thighs and prised your legs apart but you countered by pushing your knee’s together and he failed. He tried a different tactic and body-slammed you into the mat. Considering he was over six feet tall it was a hell of a height to be slammed from and pain shot through your spine as your breath was knocked from your lungs but you didn’t relent your grip, pushing through the pain.

 

Bucky huffed as your calves locked behind his neck and your thighs squeezed around his neck, cutting off his air supply. He couldn’t prise or knock you off himself so he resorted to dirty tactics and with a wicked glint in his eye, bit the tended flesh of your inner thigh. You yelped and loosened your hold and he grabbed your knees, thrusting your legs apart and shoving you away but keeping hold of you.

 

There was a split second while you tried to think of how to counter before he used his grip on your legs to flip you over onto your stomach and planted his knee in the small of your back, pinning you to the mat. You wondered where the hell Nat was as you struggled to get up.

 

“Wanna tap out yet doll?” Bucky asked you.

 

“Go fuck yourself Barnes.” You snarled.

 

“When you’re pinned underneath me so nicely? I’d rather fuck you sweetheart.” He leaned down to whisper in your ear.

 

Ignoring the coil of lust his words had started to unravel you thrust your head back and the loud crack and blinding pain in the back of your skull told you you’d hit your mark. Bucky’s hold loosened just a fraction and it was enough for you to push him off you and roll away.

 

You quickly scrambled to your feet and saw him kneeling a foot away with blood dribbling from his nose and murder in his eyes. Curiously the gym was empty save for the two of you.

 

“Sorry my love, didn’t mean to make you bleed.” You apologised half heartedly and he glared at you.

 

He slowly stood up and stalked towards you, pulling up the edge of his shirt to wipe the small trickle of blood from his face and exposing his glistening abs. That pesky little coil of lust unravled a little further.

 

“You have two choices here doll. You can continue this little charade and we can tear a few more chunks out of each other, or...”

 

“Or what?” You challenged cockily and he smirked at you and pulled his shirt off.

 

“Or you can wrap those thighs around me again and let me fuck you right here on these mats.”

 

The coil snapped.

 

You surged forward to kiss him but he grabbed you and spun you round, pressing your back to his chest. His metal hand held you in place around your throat while his flesh hand teased it’s way down your body. He slipped his hand under the waistband of your shorts and you automatically parted your legs for him.

 

“You’re already soaking wet doll.” He noted, his voice heavy with lust.

 

You simply moaned in response, your head rolling against his shoulder.

 

“There is a third option sweetheart, you can leave if you don’t want this.” He whispered softly, giving you an out.

 

“Just fuck me Bucky.” You begged as his finger teased at your throbbing clit, not quite touching you but close enough to drive you wild.

 

Bucky released you and before you could even blink your tight shorts were ripped down your thighs.

 

“On your knees.” He instructed and you complied straight away.

 

One hand went to the back of your neck as he shoved you face down on the mat roughly, somehow still managing to be gentle enough to ensure he didn’t hurt you. His fingers tangled in your hair and held you down as he smacked your ass, the sound making you jump more than the contact did.

 

“Did you think you could just shove me out of my own bed and leave me on the floor without any kind of retribution?” He asked you, his voice even and low.

 

“No.” You admitted.

 

“Are you sorry?” He asked.

 

“So sorry Bucky.” You whimpered.

 

“I don’t quite believe you sweetheart.” He teased and smacked your ass again, harder this time and you winced.

 

“I didn’t mean to do it!” You protested.

 

“Hmm.” He murmered, massaging the stinging flesh where he’d hit you.

 

“What about when you headbutted me, did you mean to make me bleed?” He enquired.

 

“Fuck sake James, no of course not!” You snapped.

 

You knew the next smack was coming, you’d definitely asked for that one. You felt your wetness begin to run down your thighs as your ass stung and you buried your face into the mat.

 

“James, James I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do it.” You whined pathetically, trying to push your hips back towards him and he chuckled.

 

“I know you didn’t.” he admitted.

 

“Then why the fuck are you torturing me?” You snarled and a filthy moan fell from your lips as you felt his heavy cock drag through your folds, running across your sensitive clit.

 

“Because you beg so sweetly when you want this.” He told you.

 

He coated himself in your wetness as he rutted against you and while his hardness sliding over your clit felt fucking heavenly you still felt empty.

 

“I want you inside me.” You admitted truthfully and the raw honesty and need in your voice made him groan and readjust himself.

 

“Right here, you want me inside you here, where anyone could walk in?” He asked.

 

“I don’t care where we are, I _need_ you to fuck me!”

 

He rammed himself inside you, his thick length sliding into your tight cunt with little struggle. You damn near screamed in ecstasy as he set a brutal and punishing pace, fucking you with wild abandon right there in the middle of the day in a public room.

 

Your hands scrabbled for something to grip against the mat as you pushed your hips back to try and meet his relentless thrusts. His hand in your hair twisted painfully as he gripped your hip to hold you steady and the sound his groans joined your moans as you gave up trying to find any semblance of control and surrendered to him.

 

His cock hit every sensitive spot inside you every time he thrust forward, filling you up perfectly before he would drag himself out and snap his hips forward again. He repeated the cycle over and over until you couldn’t think straight.

 

As far as you were aware there was only Bucky, and the pleasure he was driving into your pliant body. You could have been there for seconds or maybe hours as his movements caused pleasure to ripple through your body, building up inside you until you were like a cup ready to overflow. One more drop and it would spill over…

 

You screamed his name unaware and uncaring who might hear as it became too much and the pleasure spilled over. Your body shuddered and convulsed below him, his own orgasm chasing yours as his hips stuttered and his abs clenched as he came inside you with a deep, guttural groan of your name.

 

You collapsed on the mat and his body fell next to yours as you both panted for breath. He affectionately peppered kisses across your shoulders and arms, the only parts of your skin he could reach and you forced yourself to turn your head so he could reach your lips. He immediatley captured them in a sweet kiss, vastly contrasting from the violent and carnal way he’d just fucked you.

 

“I fucking love you.” He muttered between kisses and your heart melted.

 

You reached back to run your fingers through his damp locks and smiled into the kisses.

 

“I love you too” You mumbled against his lips.

 

You felt his cum start to trickle out of you and hastily pulled your shorts back up before you leaked evidence of your tryst onto the mats. During your struggle you noticed your phone was flashing and you crawled over to where you’d left it with your water bottle at the side of the mats and picked it up quickly to check the message.

 

**Natasha: Enjoy ‘sparring’ with your man. If you’re not outside in 20 minutes I’m sending Wilson to look for you.**

 

The message had been sent 16 minutes ago. You had four minutes to get outside but your legs still felt like jelly. Bucky kissed your shoulder as he read the message over it.

 

“If I’d have know he was going to walk in I would have taken my time.” He chuckled and you elbowed him.

 

“If you torture Sam like that I’m going to ‘accidentally’ sext Steve.” You threatened.

 

Bucky growled and gripped your hips, pulling you back into his chest.

 

“Don’t you fucking dare.” He growled.

 

“I wouldn’t. Even as a joke.” You admitted, leaning into him happily.

 

“Good. You’re my girl, no one else’s.”

 

“Yes Sergeant, yours.” You agreed and spun round in his arms to kiss him.

 

He kissed you back hungrily and you regretfully pulled away before Natasha made good on her threat to send your best friend after you.

 

“I’m going to go find my best friend, go find yours.” You sighed and headed towards the doors shakily.

 

“Forgetting something doll?” He asked and you turned back before you left the room and smiled fondly at him.

 

“I love you James.” You said and blew him a kiss.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

Natasha had told you to come outside but there was nobody around. You frowned as you wandered across the grass, searching for your team mates. Your senses started screaming that you were in danger and a shadow fell across the ground. You quickly whipped your head up and squinted, seeing Sam fully decked out in his falcon gear diving towards you.

 

You realised a split second too late he wasn’t slowing down and you tensed as he swooped down and plucked you off the ground.

 

“What the fuck are you doing?” You screeched as he flew away with you.

 

He grinned toothily at you as he carried you further up into the air.

 

“You’re late and we’re playing a game, a team building exercise.” He explained.

 

“Oh ok, that’s fine then…. PUT ME DOWN YOU OVERPLUCKED BIRBRAIN!” You screamed.

“No can do baby, we’re playing a kind of capture the flag type game.”

 

You saw the red blur hurtling towards you from the left that meant Vision was coming towards you at the same time you spotted Clint perched up a tree, arrow aimed straight for you and Sam and it clicked.

 

You were the fucking flag.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Full disclosure, I am having the worst day ever so this probably isn't my best work but I promised you all a chapter every day and I will fucking deliver if I have to bitchslap the devil himself and crawl out of hell to find a WiFi signal. 
> 
> Reader: You can't just fuck me into being nicer to you.  
> Bucky: .....  
> Reader: Yeah even I didn't believe me when I said that.


	33. Capture The Cat

You didn’t know who’s bright idea this was and you didn’t care, you were going to murder them all. As Clint pulled back the drawstring on his bow and Vision sped towards you, you did something that some people could construe as stupid. You elbowed Sam in the ribs.

 

He immediatley dropped you and as your free fell 40 feet down through the air without a plan about how to safely land you were captured in a bubble of red mist. For a brief second you were glad Wanda had caught you before you realised she was probably just trying to capture you for her team.

 

“RELEASE ME WITCH!” You shrieked as you bobbed through the sky.

 

You saw Vision taper off to where you assumed Wanda was hiding and a few seconds later the mist dissipated and you were once again falling.

 

The good news was you weren’t going to land on the ground, the bad news was you were going to land on a tree.

 

You tried to brace for the landing but it was futile. You slammed into a thick branch that knocked the wind out of you so you were unable to grab it, instead slipping off it and falling all the way to the ground, occasionally hitting another branch on the way down which while painful, did slow down your descent.

 

You somehow managed to land somewhat upright in a crouch on the ground and after spitting out leaves you stood up with a scowl. There was a high pitched whistling noise that most people wouldn’t have heard and you reacted instinctively, grabbing the arrow in mid air, the tip centimetres away from your chest.

 

It looked like it was some kind of tranquillizer arrow. Clint was willing to drag your unconscious body to wherever the ‘flagpole was’.

 

“I’m gonna kill him the slowest.” You snarled to yourself and snapped the arrow in half, tucking the head safely in a leaf and carefully placing it in your bra for safekeeping as you dashed away.

 

You needed to think of a strategy and fast, it was you vs most of The Avengers and you had no weapons, no allies and nowhere to hide.

 

The hardest ones to take out would be Vision and Natasha. Everyone else could be knocked out, tied up and/or manipulated. The Android was tricky, he couldn’t be contained… but you were pretty sure the opposite team would take him out as quickly as possible for the same reasoning.

 

Natasha was the one that really worried you. There was no way to outsmart or trap her, which meant it would come down to a fight. 8/10 times in training she would best you but you always held back just a little, no matter who you were sparring with.

 

They had all destroyed any goodwill you had and all your reservations about hurting anyone had died the second they decided to use you like a toy for their sick games. If it came down to it, you’d do what you had to do.

 

The Flag was going to fight back.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

You were safest in the tree’s, they gave you cover from the fliers. Everyone knew that of course, they would be looking for you here but the fact remained, you had the upper hand here. You could hear them creeping about and with a feral grin you leapt onto a branch about 8ft up and waited.

 

The first person to pass by was Wanda. Until Vision was out of the game you couldn’t risk taking her out.

 

“We both know if you try to take me now you’ll have to fight to keep me Wanda. It is in both our interests if you take out the opposing team first. That way, it’s just you and me, may the best woman win.” You called softly to her.

 

“I know you’re trying to manipulate me Sestra but you are right. So shall we form a temporary alliance?” She replied.

 

“Take out Vision and anyone else you can, I will do the same. I’ll leave you alone and you leave me alone until we are the last two standing. It’s your best chance to win and my best chance to survive.”

 

“I agree to your terms.” She grinned.

 

“Pleasure doing business with you, Sam’s about 40ft above you, 12 yards west.” You said with a wink and slipped away.

 

About 20 seconds later you heard Sam crash to the ground with a yelp. One down.

 

The next person you approached was Thor. The big blonde god was a fearsome warrior and probably didn’t hold back, even in games. Which meant you needed to take him out fast and hard. You waited until he passed below your branch and jumped down, landing on his shoulders.

 

“Is Wanda on your team?” You asked, knowing she wouldn’t be. They would try to even out the power players.

 

“She is not.” He confirmed, grabbing a hold of your legs.

 

“Then take me to the base. You’ll win and she’ll lose.” You offered.

 

“A wise decision little one.” He laughed jovially and relaxed.

 

He carried you on his shoulders through the tree’s and you waited until you were almost at the edge before you jabbed him in the neck with the broken arrow head. The tranquillizer wouldn’t knock him out, but it may make him slightly woozy. You swung one leg off of him and hung on one shoulder as you grabbed hold of a low hanging but sturdy branch and yanked on it, pulling your self into the thick tree trunk, his body trapped between you and it. His head cracked into it forcefully.

 

“You betrayed me.” He said, swaying.

 

“Sorry big guy, it’s not personal.” You promised, punching him with as much force as you could muster.

 

The tranq, the tree and your fist was too much and he fell to his knees but he wasn’t out yet.

 

He dove for you and tackled you to the ground and you swore. Stupid Gods and their thick skulls.

 

“Loki would approve of you.” He slurred and you smirked.

 

You yelped loudly and grabbed your ribs and Thor paused for a split second in fear that he had hurt you. You struck a fourth and final time, grabbing the side of his head and slamming it into the ground with enough force the ground shook a little. Thor lay, sprawled on the ground, out cold and you quickly scrambled to your feet and rushed away. Two down.

 

You’d made enough noise that people would be coming to investigate and they would find the Asgardian lying there, defeated. That would make them think twice about how to obtain you.

 

As expected, you didn’t find Natasha, she found you. One second you were running through the trees and the next there was a casual redhead leaning against a rock in front of you. You skidded to a halt.

 

“Kotyonok, care to take a stroll with me?” She asked with a wicked glint in her eye.

 

“You think I’m too afraid of you to fight back so I’ll just go willingly with you?” You growled.

 

“Yes.” She said simply.

 

“YOU’LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!” You yelled as loudly as you could.

 

“That was stupid.” She told you as you heard the sounds of people rushing towards your voice.

 

“You want to win Natasha, you have to stop and take care of the rest of the players.” You smirked.

 

“Well played, I’m almost proud. Run away little Kotyonok, I won’t be too far behind you.”

 

You grinned and did as she said. You ran, hearing the ring of Steve's Shield hurtling towards the Russian Assasian. Above you, you saw Wanda and Vision grappling and you kept an eye on the battle as you ran, almost whooping when you saw Wanda drive Vision down to the ground. There was an almighty crashing noise and you were pretty sure that meant Vision was out. Three down.

 

You half expected a cannon blast to announce Vision’s defeat and sadly remembered that your dad wasn’t here. He would have definitely done something like that. You swerved to the right as you spotted Clint at the last second and you dived behind a tree.

 

“Steve is literally a walking, talking flag. Why in the hell are you traitorous bastards trying to capture _me_?” You wheezed/yelled.

 

“You’re so small.” Clint cooed.

 

“You’re so dead birdboy.” You snarled.

 

“Come and say that to my face.” He taunted.

 

“That’s it! I’m joining the X-Men!” You snapped.

 

“Cool, you’re coming with me first though.” Clint told you.

 

“Nu uh.” You protested weakly and peeked around the tree to flip Clint off, smirking at what you saw.

 

“Oh I think you are kitty.” Clint snorted at your childish comeback.

 

“I think you’re forgetting something little birdy.” You warned him and stepped out from behind the trunk with a smug grin.

 

“What’s that?” Clint asked nervously, put off by your sudden display of courage.

 

“She’s got her own team.” Bucky said and shot Clint in the back.

 

Clint crumpled to the ground and Bucky strode forward and grabbed your arm, dragging you further into the tree cover as the two of you ran.

 

“Did you just shoot Clint?!” You demanded.

 

“Night Night gun, Shield issue.” He explained.

 

“Cool!” You exclaimed as you ran.

 

He pulled you behind a rock while he checked the surrounding area.

 

“I’m going to kill them all. This is a stupid game, and I don’t want to play.” You whined.

 

“You could just pick a base and stroll up to it, game over. Sam’s your best friend, give him the win.” Bucky suggested.

 

“Oh hell no, friendship went out of the window the second he decided I was the human equivalent of a flag.” You grumbled.

 

Bucky smirked at your disdain and paused in his scan of the area to reach over and peck you on the lips.

 

“So you want to make everyone paying this game pay?” He asked you with an evil smirk.

 

“You bet your ass I do. Nobody’s getting me to a base while there’s a breath left in my body.” You vowed.

 

“That’s my girl.” He praised.

 

“You got her Buck?” Steve called out.

 

“Yeah I got her.” Bucky called back as you heard Steve trekking through the trees towards you.

 

“I’m glad you and Steve found me, at least I have you two on my side.” You admitted, plotting how the three of you could destroy everybody else.

 

“I’m always gonna be on your side doll, always.” Bucky vowed and ducked his head down to kiss you passionately.

 

Adrenaline and love were flooding your system and you kissed him back with all you had, drowning in the taste of his lips. There was a loud bang and you jerked away from him.

 

“Except when it comes to war, war takes no prisoners sweetheart.” He told you as your vision wavered.

 

You looked down to see the barrel of the night night gun pressed against your stomach and you legs gave out as the powerful tranquillizer kicked in. Bucky caught you around the waist and held you upright as your consciousness faded.

 

“You’ll wake up in about half an hour doll, don’t worry.” He assured you and pressed a kiss to your forehead and then everything went black.

 

You did indeed wake up about half an hour later, under a flagpole. There was a post it note stuck to you chest with a message in Bucky’s handwriting.

 

_I’d say we’re even now Doll, love JBB x_

 

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

You stormed into the common room where everyone was gathered, Bucky and Steve being congratulated for winning. A nervous hush fell over the room as you came in and you scowled at them all. You stalked over to Bucky and kissed him on the cheek.

 

“Well played my love, but if you ever use my own tactics against me again I’ll kill you in your sleep.” You promised in a false sweet voice and he chuckled.

 

“As for the rest of you… There will be retribution for this. Each and every one of you is going to suffer in a unique way. It may happen today, it may not happen for years. But it will happen.” You vowed.

 

“Except for you Thor. Hand me that flask of Mead you keep on you and you are forgiven.” You told him.

 

He frowned and seemed to way up the options. He unconsciously rubbed the side of his head and seemed to decide it was his best option to just do as you asked and he tossed the flask at you.

 

“I’m taking this, and I’m going to go and have some fun with Wilson. After the day you have all put me through, I deserve a night out with my best friend.” You announced and strolled away.

 

You heard Sam huff and get up to follow you.

 

“Oh not you Icarus, you’ve been demoted.” You told him with a vicious smirk.

 

“Huh?” He asked indignantly.

 

“Miss Stark, there is a Mr Dopinder at the front gate for you.” Friday announced.

 

“That’s my ride. Don’t wait up folks!” You said and skipped away, leaving a room of very shocked and nervous superhero’s in your wake.

 

 

**22 HOURS LATER**

 

“Boss, your daughter is calling.” Friday announced.

 

“I’m busy.” Tony snapped, tinkering with the Iron Man helmet on his desk.

 

“Sir, I’m registering high levels of anxiety in her voice and she is calling from a number I’ve traced to Santiago de Compostela, Spain.” Friday announced.

 

Tony dropped the screwdriver with a clatter.

 

“Put her through!” He quickly instructed.

 

“Dad? Dad, are you there?” Your frantic voice came through the speakers.

 

“Kit Kat? What’s wrong?” Tony worriedly demanded.

 

“I know you hate me right now but I really need your help, I really messed up. I’m so so sorry. Please help me.” You sobbed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No quirky notes today. Just a heartfelt thank you for those of you who have been sending comments, mails and messages. If it wasn't for your love for this story I doubt we'd have got this far, I would have given into the hate. But you gave me a reason to keep to writing and were my backbone when I couldn't find my own and so I'm no longer writing this fic just for me, I'm doing it for you as well.
> 
> I JUST HIT 500 KUDOS!!!!! HOLY FUCK, THANK YOU!!!!!!!


	34. Starkcation

On the bright side you were the golden girl of the international media and had been given a medal of some kind by the Spanish Government for dismantling Los Charlínes, one of the major Galician Mafia Clans.

 

On the less bright side, you had three bullet wounds a broken wrist, a hairline fracture in your skull and the worst hangover known to mankind. The UN were furious with you for your unsanctioned self-appointed mission despite it’s success and you were currently sat on a Private Plane across from your extremely displeased father.

 

You tried to sit up and grab the glass of water but every time you moved half an inch you just ended up groaning in pain and/or throwing up.

 

“Help?” You muttered pathetically at Tony.

 

You hadn’t really needed his help or to have him fly all the way to Spain in a panic but Wade had convinced you it was a great idea. Your drunken self had agreed and paused in the middle of a shoot-out with forty odd mafia goons to phone Tony and tell him you were in trouble. By the time he arrived you were holed up in the American Consulate building being congratulated for your work by the Spanish Prime Minister and trying not to throw up into a waste-paper basket.

 

“I told you I needed space. You really think acting out like this is going to make things better?” Tony snapped at you as he pushed the water within reach.

 

You guzzled it down and collapsed back in your seat with a whimper.

 

“I * hiccup* missed you.” You muttered.

 

“You went on a killing spree with a mercenary whilst you were drunk, without any kind of back-up, without informing anyone where you were and you did it in a foreign country.” He ranted.

 

“Well when you say it like that it just sounds impressive.” You retorted.

 

“It’s… a little impressive.” He begrudgingly admitted.

 

“But it was dangerous, foolhardy and ill thought out and now I sound like Capsicle so thank you for that!” He continued.

 

“I just wanted to have fun, I needed to have fun and feel good feelings but I realised no matter how hard I try it doesn’t mean anything if you don’t love me anymore.” You said weepily.

 

There was a slight possibility you were still drunk.

 

“I can’t love you if you’re dead! If this had gone badly you’d be floating in the ocean right now as shark bait!” Tony yelled and you winced at the volume.

 

“But I won. Well we did, Wade helped. He got all the money and I got all the credit. There’s a country with a lot less crime going on, there’s less drugs being intentionally shipped, we get to spend quality time together and I have a pet donkey! There’s no downside.” You insisted.

 

There was in fact a donkey in the cargo bay of the ship, gifted to you by a very grateful family who’s son had been taken by the mafia a few years prior. His name was Mr Donkeypool and Tony had to pull some strings so you could take him back to the US where he was going to live on the Barton farm since Laura had happily agreed to take him in.

 

“No downside? You’ve got so many bullet holes in you you’re practically swiss!” He pointed out.

 

“I’ll heal.” You pouted.

 

“You’re too much like me, I can’t argue with you.” He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

 

“Does that mean you forgive me?” You asked hopefully.

 

“For risking The Accords and international politics? Yes. For falling in love with the 100 year old brainwashed assassin who orphaned me? I’m trying, I really am.” He admitted.

 

“I know you need time, I do. But do you have to ignore me? I won’t rub me and Bucky in your face, I promise but please don’t push me away.” You begged.

 

Tony looked guilty and reached over to slowly adjust your seat so you were lying down.

 

“Get some sleep Kit Kat, you need it. We’ll talk more once we’ve landed.” He instructed you.

 

You were drunk and hungover at the same time, in massive amounts of pain and emotionally and physically exhausted. You didn’t have to be told twice. Your breathing evened out quickly and Tony watched your face smooth over as you fell asleep.

 

Maybe pushing you away wasn’t the best idea. He couldn’t face you and Barnes but maybe he didn’t have to just yet. Secretary Ross needed time to cool off and you needed some R&R away from the buzzing public while you healed. He pulled out his phone and started making arrangements.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

Tony gently shook you awake as the plane a few hours later.

 

“We’re landing Kit Kat.” He warned you.

 

The sun was streaming through the windows and you blinked blearily, shifting to check your pain levels. You were stiff as hell and your mouth felt like dry moulded over cardboard but you had healed a little bit. You’d gone from death’s door the death’s driveway so it was an improvement at least.

 

The plane tilted as it began it descent and the pilot spoke over the intercom.

 

“Good morning Mr Stark, Miss Stark. We’ve begun our descent and will arrive at Van Nuys Airport shortly.” He said.

 

“Where?” You asked groggily.

 

“We’re in Malibu, you haven’t been to the New House I had built here yet and you need a few days for your injuries to heal.” Tony explained.

 

“So we aren’t in New York?” You asked, puzzled.

“No we’re in Malibu.” He repeated, shaking his head at you and handing you an espresso.

 

“Why?” You asked.

 

“For Gods sake… We’re here to have a vacation.” He said, rolling his eyes.

 

“Oh. OH! Really? We? As in you’re staying?” You asked excitedly.

 

“Well I’m not leaving you alone in my beach-front mansion, you’ll probably invite every morally dubious individual in the city over and throw a rager.” He snarked.

 

You ignored the sass and grinned happily at him.

 

“I would never do that, not without inviting you anyway.” You offered.

 

“No parties, can’t believe I’m saying that. Pepper landed a couple of hours ago and will meet us at the house. This will be a peaceful family bonding holiday. With lots of booze. For me, you’re being dried out.” He informed you.

 

You couldn’t care less, you were going to get to spend a few days with Tony and Pepper. Pain aside, this was the best news ever.

 

When the plane landed Tony had to help you hobble off it and down the stairs and as he guided you across the tarmac you decided there was something magical about the sky in Malibu, it was so blue. You barely had a chance to see it as Tony ushered you both into the waiting car but he did put the top down for you as he drove you both to his house.

 

Mr Donkeypool was in good hands he assured you, he was being transported to the house and he was going to be a beach Donkey for a few days. Tony promised he’d be happy in Malibu and he’d hired someone to look after him until it was time to send him to the farm.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

After you washed the jet lag off in the gigantic en suite shower you wandered back into your bedroom. Pepper had set out a sundress on the bed for you in your favourite colour and you smiled at the gift. Pepper had a penchant for spoiling you.

 

You slipped it on, mindful of your plasters and bandages and after gently rotating your wrist you decided you could get away without rewrapping it. It was fairly healed by now.

 

You happily slid down the bannister and joined Tony and Pepper on the back deck where luch had been set up.

 

“There you are sweetheart, how was your shower?” Pepper asked you, passing you a glass of orange juice.

 

“Great! I’ll enjoy it more when I’m not doing weird acrobatics to keep my bandages dry though.” You admitted.

 

“Maybe try not getting shot next time.” Tony snorted.

 

“This coming from the man who flew a nuke through an alien wormhole.” Pepper berated him and you smirked.

 

“Wait how did this become about me?” Tony asked, perplexed.

 

“Isn’t everything?” You quipped and he toasted you in agreement.

 

“If you’re feeling up to it we were going to take a walk on the beach after lunch.” Pepper informed you.

 

“I’m ready, I’ve never been to the beach!” You admitted excitedly.

 

“You two have fun, I’m going Jet Skiing.” Tony informed you both.

 

“Tony...” Pepper warned.

 

“Don’t worry, Kit Kat is going to help me test the new repulsor gauntlet on the beach later.” He assured her.

 

You choked on the bite of fruit salad you’d just swallowed.

 

“I am?” You asked.

 

“Yip. I’ll throw stuff and you can shoot it. It’ll be fun.” He said.

 

“And perfectly safe dear.” He told Pepper confidently.

 

Tony and Pepper continued to affectionately bicker throughout lunch, you and Pepper teaming up to make fun of him every few minutes.

 

“That’s it, I’m leaving while I still have a shred of ego intact.” Tony sulked, kissing you both on the cheek.

 

“Want to take that walk now?” Pepper asked you and you nodded.

 

She linked her arm with yours since you were still a little unsteady as you both casually strolled along the sandy beach.

 

It was beautiful and calming and while you missed Bucky terribly (He was sending you sad face emoji’s every half hour and you were going to kill whoever taught him how to use emoji’s) you found you were strangely happy. You just weren’t you when you didn’t have Tony.

 

“So you and Barnes?” Pepper asked, diving right in.

 

“I know, I picked the worst possible person to fall for.” You sighed, ready for her disappointment.

 

“I’m not sure you did. I remember how much you admired him before you even met him and how he inspired you to ask Tony if you could join the Avengers. I think you and Bucky have a connection, a unique way of understanding each other.” She admitted.

 

“You’re not mad at me because of the complications?” You asked her.

 

“What happened to Tony’s parents was in no way Sargent Barnes fault, he’s a good man. I admire him for trying to make amends for the things he was forced to do, it takes real bravery and strength. And maybe, this will help Tony finally see Bucky as someone other than his parents killer.” She said.

 

You were speechless. Pepper not only supported you, she saw Bucky the same way you did and saw hope for Tony and Bucky’s relationship.

 

“Thank you.” You told her earnestly, holding her a little closer as you walked.

 

“If he hurts you though, it won’t be Tony he has to be afraid of.” She warned and you laughed, even though you quite believed her.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

_It was the same scene he had watched on a grainy video in Sibera but this time he was there, frozen and unable to do anything as his parents car was ran off the road. He watched the Soldier stalk over to the car and kill his parents, horrified and heartbroken but he couldn’t stop it._

 

“ _Dad… Help me.”_

 

_He turned slowly, in fear at the familiar voice. His daughter, his Kit Kat was sprawled across the road, covered in blood. He tried to go to her but he couldn’t move as The Soldier walked over to her._

 

_She coughed weakly, reaching up to stroke The Soldiers face lovingly as he knelt down and placed his metal hand on her neck._

 

“ _Barnes, stop.” Tony croaked._

 

“ _I love you.” She said, to him or the Soldier he wasn’t sure._

 

_The metal hand crushing her windpipe jerked to the side and her neck snapped with a sickening crunch. Her unseeing eyes looked straight through Tony._

 

Tony woke up covered in sweat. Pepper was sleeping soundly next to him and he quietly slipped out of the bed without disturbing her and left the room. The door to your room was cracked open and he peered through. The room was empty. His heart skipped a beat before he spotted your silhouette on the balcony and he walked over to join you.

 

“Can’t sleep?” He asked.

 

You’d had a long day, playing in the sun with him all afternoon after your walk with Pepper. You’d been exhausted at dinner and assumed you’d sleep through the night.

 

“Too much on my mind.” You admitted.

 

“Wanna go down to the lab and help me rewire the circuitry on the Jet Ski I crashed?” He offered.

 

“Sure.” You shrugged and followed him downstairs.

 

“Why are you awake?” You asked him.

 

“Too much on my mind.” He mimicked you.

 

“Touche” You muttered as you both entered the lab.

 

“So what’s eating you Kit Kat?” He snorted at his own dad joke.

 

“Just nervous about my first session at Xavier’s. It’s straight after we go home.” You admitted.

 

“Why would you be nervous about having a telepath poking around in your brain?” He asked sarcastically.

 

Why indeed. What was lurking in your subconscious was weighing heavily on your mind, no pun intended and you wished you could discuss it with somebody.

 

“Dad I...”

 

You almost told him. You wanted to. But how could you tell him that the monster within you was one of your own making? That there was a very real part of you that wanted to destroy the world. That deep down in your soul, you were evil.

 

“I know Kit Kat. I know.” He said.

 

You frowned and he sighed heavily.

 

“There’s a video in The Vernichtung Files from the one time Docherty managed to call Vernichtung to the surface. Since I saw it, on some level I’ve known the truth since I found you. It wasn’t until the Professor told me you needed his help to make yourself whole again that I worked it out though.” He admitted.

 

“You know what Vernichtung is?”

 

“Yes sweetheart, it’s you.”

 

“How did you know?”

 

“Genius remember?” he snorted.

 

“You aren’t afraid of me, you don’t hate me?” You asked fearfully.

 

“I’ve never met anyone without a dark side. The difference is you literally locked yours away to keep it contained, that doesn’t make you evil, that makes you stronger than most people.” He assured you.

 

“But my Dark side wants to kill people!” You insisted.

 

“And my good side created a killer robot and sold weapons of mass destruction. Nobody is perfect, especially those of us with power. Don’t mistake your capability for destruction with being a bad person. The fact is you’re the same as everyone else except for the fact you fight harder than most. Being a good person is a choice and you went through hell to stick to that choice.” He rebutted.

 

Your eyes teared up. Tony knew the worst parts of you and loved you anyway, more than that he saw the good in it that you couldn’t. You tried to stifle a sob by burying your face into his shoulder and you felt him put his arm around you.

 

“No matter what happens kid, I’m proud of you. Always will be.” He assured you.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

**STARKCATION**

**The hottest new Hero on the block is taking a much deserved vacation in Malibu after her busy week.**

 

_**Deathwave hasn’t been on the scene for long but she’s already proving herself to be a force to be reckoned with. After her debut taking down aliens in the Capital it was revealed that the mysterious hero was actually the youngest Stark and a Secret Avenger, one responsible for helping the Secretary Of State save millions of lives and facilitating the arrest Benjamin Newlands.** _

 

_**Her tragic backstory was then revealed and hearts around the world broke as they read about the harrowing upbringing of the mutant know as ‘Vernichtung’. Raised by what can only be described as a mad scientist the young mutant was primed to end the world and live up to her namesake but instead chose to become a symbol of goodness and hope.** _

 

_**Fans around the world have accepted her into their hearts and while there are naysayers and those who believe she poses a threat, the general consensus is that the heroine is the symbol of strength and hope we all need. Proving that people can be what they chose and not what they are told, we our the masters of out own fate.** _

 

_**Seen earlier today walking along the beach with billionaire superhero Tony Stark, it seems the hero on everyone’s minds is enjoying some family time after her recent victory in Spain. We can only assume her father is as proud of her as the general public is** **since** **the family are celebrating in the sun.**_

 

 

“She’s almost ready.” He said with a vicious grin after reading the article.

 

“Doctor?”

 

“Everything is proceeding as I hoped. Vernichtung will soon learn her final lesson. The more she gives in to hope and happiness, the easier it is for me to break her.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The drunken shenanigans with Deadpool were left out for several reasons...
> 
> It just seemed funnier to see the aftermath. 
> 
> I'm in too deep a funk to write a funny drunk chapter.  
> I'm starting to wrap up this fic now, so there are several chapters left but we are in the home stretch now. I was informed that longer fics can put readers off so I'm quitting while I'm ahead, before anyone gets too bored.  
> As long as people are still interested I'll still do sequels and one-shots though, but that is mostly up to you lovely folks!


	35. Education

“I’m not mad.”

 

“You’re mad.”

 

“I’m mad you keep insisting I’m mad.”

 

“So you are mad.”

 

“I swear to god I will crash this car if you keep pushing me!”

 

“Because that is something a non mad person would do...”

 

“Don’t make me pull over!”

 

“How are you gonna crash the car if you pull over?”

 

“Doll, if you don’t stop it we are going to have a problem.”

 

“Fine! I’m shutting up.”

 

You waited about ten seconds.

 

“You _are_ mad though.”

 

“THAT’S IT!”

 

Bucky pulled the car into a laybye on the side of the road and put it in park. The veins on his neck were strained and he was clenching his jaw.

 

“You think I’m mad that you got drunk with a psychotic mercenary who wants to get in your pants and left the country with him?” He demanded.

 

“Kinda sounds like you might be a little miffed about it.” You pointed out.

 

“I’m mad I fell in love with an idiot.” He huffed.

 

“See! I knew you were mad.” You crowed victoriously.

 

“Alright yes, I’m mad. I’m mad that you took on the Spanish fucking mafia with Deadpool as your backup. I’m mad you got shot THREE times and didn’t tell me. I’m not mad you have strange taste in friends or that you want to spend time with them.” He admitted.

 

“In my defence...” You started.

 

“You don’t have a defence. You were an idiot. You were Steve Rogers levels of stupid. You went overseas to pick a fight without telling me...”

 

“It’s been over seventy years, let it go Bucky.” You said in Steve’s defence.

 

“Fine, but you did it three days ago.” He countered.

 

“Yes but as you pointed out, I’m an idiot.” You said, smiling sweetly at him.

“Damn right you are.” He agreed.

 

“I’m sorry. You’re right, I don’t have a defence. Honestly, I don’t even know how we got to Spain. One minute I was drinking some merc under the table at Sister Margaret's and the next I was stabbing a Spanish crime-lord in the jugular. Everything in between is a blur.”You sheepishly told him.

 

“I refer back to my earlier statement, you are an idiot.”

 

“I can’t promise I’ll change.” You told him.

 

“I’m a hundred years old and it’s going to be you that turns me grey.” He sighed.

 

You unbuckled your seatbelt and climbed over to kiss him.

 

“I _can_ promise that I’ll still love you when you start looking your age.” You smirked, pecking him on the lips.

 

He gripped your hip and pulled you in for a longer, slightly less PG kiss.

 

“What time are they expecting you at the school?” He murmured.

 

“Um, in twenty minutes.” You admitted unhappily.

 

He groaned as you pulled away and buckled yourself back into your seat.

 

“So you really stabbed a guy in the jugular?” He asked as he pulled back onto the road.

 

“And you think Wade is weird...”

 

**\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -**

 

As soon as Bucky dropped you off, Logan came stomping out of the front door towards you.

 

“Morning.” You said politely, walking past him towards the school.

 

“Where do you think you’re going princess?” He asked you, lighting a cigar.

 

“To go find my ‘tutor’,” You replied with a sinking feeling in your stomach.

 

“You’re looking at him.”

 

You forced yourself not to audibly groan. You couldn’t really explain why but you just didn’t feel comfortable around him.

 

“Wonderful. Well what exactly are you going to be tutoring me on?” You asked tightly.

 

He raised an eybrow at you and jerked his head, indicating you to follow him onto the grounds and walking off. You rolled your eyes and followed him.

 

“Your mind is clouded, nobody ever taught you how to rely on yourself.” He stated.

 

“I think I’ve done alright.” You huffed.

 

“You rely on what you can see and hear. You have other senses, it’s time you learned to use them.”

 

“Alright, fine. You’re the boss, so teach me O’wise one.”

 

He pulled a piece of cloth from his back pocket.

 

“Tie this around your eyes.” He commanded.

 

“Um no.”

 

“Listen kid, you’ve barely scratched the surface of what you are capable of. The more you learn the more you’re gonna need to learn control. That’s what you need more than anything and that’s what I’m offering to teach you. If you don’t like my methods then run off and stop wasting my time.”

 

You sighed and snatched the blindfold from him and tied it around your head. It was thick and scratchy and even your eyes couldn’t make out anything through it. You felt Logan push something into your ears and you flinched.

 

“Relax princess, I confiscated an Ipod from one of the students. You won’t be able to see or hear anything. All you have to do, is find me.” He said and then screeching death metal assaulted your ears.

 

You winced as you adjusted to the music. It was doing it’s job well, you couldn’t hear a damn thing. You felt vulnerable and exposed, standing out in the open like this. If anyone attacked you now, you wouldn’t be able to see or hear them coming. It was disconcerting as hell. What the hell were you supposed to do, sniff him out?

 

Oh.

 

You were supposed to sniff him out. You took a tentative step forwards, making your way across the grass as you sniffed the air. The distinctive smell of cigar smoke wafted towards you and you padded over to it. It was strong, you must be right in front of him. You reached out blindly, prodding the air and turning in a circle. Nothing.

 

You huffed and pulled off the blindfold. There was a half lit cigar on the ground and Logan was standing a few feet away looking less than impressed. You scowled at him and stubbed the cigar out with your shoe while you fiddled with the ipod he’d attached to you, pausing it.

 

“Try again.” He instructed you.

 

“How am I supposed to sniff you out, I’m not Scooby Doo.” You grumbled.

 

“Try again.”

 

You stomped over to him, making sure your displeasure was clear on your face and leaned in to sniff him. If you were going to do this, you needed to know what to look for. What to sniff for.

 

Underneath the smell of smoke there were a variety of other scents, wood and sweat prevelant amongst them. There was a faint scent of pine and it reminded you of something.

 

“You smell a bit like me.” You realized.

 

He went still and waited for you to continue.

 

“Is that a feral mutant thing?” You wondered out loud.

 

“Something like that. Now try again.”

 

You rolled your eyes and pulled the blindfold back on, pressing play on the screeching rock song. You waited a few seconds for him to move away and tentatively sniffed the air. It just smelled like air.

 

You recalled the exact scent of him and tried to pick it up. Pine, there, you had it. You slowly edged towards the scent, carefully stepping around the grass. You followed the scent for a few minutes until something solid blocked your path. Unless Logan had the ability to turn himself into a tree, you were pretty sure it wasn’t him.

 

Well you’d sniffed out a tree, it was a start. Maybe honing in on one scent wasn’t enough, you needed to follow the unique blend that made up the grouchy man beast.

 

The distinct feel of something sharp poking you in the throat startled you and you froze. The blindfold was yanked from you and your eyes adjusted to show Logan stood scowling at you, three metal claws aimed at your neck. You yanked the earbuds out and pushed his claws away.

 

“You didn’t mention the part where you were going to hunt me back.” You snarled.

 

“Always assume you are in danger, always be aware of the possibility and never let your guard down.” He snarled back.

 

“I wouldn’t have let my guard down if you didn’t blindfold me.”

 

“You have more than two senses, learn to use them and it won’t matter if you’re blindfolded.”

 

You resisted the urge to stamp your foot as his ridiculous argument.

 

“Most of my mutant abilities are locked up because they’re attached to the psychopath that lives in my brain. What makes you think I have super sniffing capabilities?” You asked exasperatedly.

 

“You ‘deathwaved’ a bunch of aliens in DC, you have feral tendencies, your hearing is better than a super soldiers. Your mutant abilities are accessible to you if you can get past the mental block you put on them.” He said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

 

“That mental block stops me from ripping you apart like a rag doll, don’t knock them.” You snapped.

 

“I don’t break so easy princess, adamantium skeleton.” He informed you, sliding his claws back into place.

 

“You have a metal skeleton?” You frowned.

 

“Government program fused the metal to my skeleton years ago.” He said.

 

“Ouch.”

 

“Let’s try something else. You need to get that metaphorical stick out of your ass, so sit down.” He told you.

 

“On the grass?” You asked.

 

“Want a blanket princess?” He snarked.

 

“Kinda.” You admitted, sitting on the grass.

 

He sat across from you cross legged.

 

“Have you ever tried meditation?” He asked.

 

You stared blankly at him for a few seconds.

 

“That’s a no.” You said.

 

“Well then maybe this will do you some good.”

 

He was serious, he was actually going to teach you to meditate. You groaned loudly.

 

**\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -**

 

After your super strange ‘lesson’ from Logan you stormed back inside, ready to beg the professor to let someone else tutor you. Maybe Jean or Storm, they had seemed nice.

 

“How did your lesson with Monsieur Logan go Ma Petite?”

 

You smiled warmly at Remy as he came towards you and greeted you with a friendly hug and charming kiss on the cheek.

 

“Horrifically. I don’t know what it is about him, he just rubs me up the wrong way.” You admitted.

 

“Perhaps you need a teacher to, how you say, rub you up the right way? Remy could be your teacher no?” He offered and you laughed.

 

“Que pourriez-vous éventuellement m'apprendre mon ami?” (What could you possibly teach me my friend?)

 

He laughed delightedly and bowed in gracious acceptance of your rejection.

 

“Perhaps Remy should ask to have you be his teacher.” He said smoothly.

 

“And what would you have me teach you?” You laughed derisively.

 

“I concede, there seems to be nothing to be learned from one another. We must settle for simply enjoying one another's company.”

 

“Your company is always enjoyed Remy, but I am running late.” You said apologetically.

 

“Ah yes, you must not keep The Professor waiting. Remy will see you soon though yes?” He said hopefully.

 

“That seems like a pretty safe bet.” You said as you walked backwards away from him.

 

“I will count the minutes until we meet again then Ma Petite.” He called as you turned the corner.

 

“Goodbye Remy.” You giggled.

 

You made it halfway up the corridor when a door opened and a pretty young woman stepped through. She had a striking white streak in her hair that framed her face beautifully and you noticed she was wearing gloves.

“Well hi there sweet pea, I’m Marie. Most folks round here call me Rouge though.” She greeted you.

 

“I’m..”

 

“Oh I know who you are. Would have to live under a rock not to know it, it’s a pleasure to meet ya.” She said kindly.

 

“Likewise. I’m sorry, I’m late for my session with The Professor.” You apologised.

 

“I’ll walk with you.” She offered.

 

“Thanks. I got caught up talking to Remy after my lesson with Logan.” You admitted.

 

“Remy has a way of taking up your time, that’s for sure.” She laughed.

 

“So are you a teacher here or?” You asked.

 

She looked young enough to be a student but old enough to be a teacher and you were having a hard time pinning her exact age down.

 

“I was a student here for a while, never left after I graduated. I help out, with the school and other things.” She said and you caught her drift.

 

“Now I hope you don’t take me saying this the wrong way but the way Remy has been talking about you, I think he’s a little smitten.” She said and you blushed.

 

“No, no we’re just old friends.” You told her.

 

“Well he doesn’t seem to understand that. Remy has a way of charming a girl, so be careful. If you want to go there then that’s your business but if you don’t, you need to make that clear to him. Give that man an inch and he’ll take a mile.” She warned you.

 

“You sound like you’re speaking from experience.”

 

“I am honey, that’s why I’m warning you. Now me and Remy, that was complicated but has no bearing on you. If you like him I aint gonna try and talk you out of it.”

 

“I do, I mean I don’t. Not in that way. I’m seeing someone, someone I am lucky to be with, someone wonderful.” You told her, a wistful smile on your face.

 

“Well look at you all loved up. You’re just glowing.” She teased.

 

You couldn’t wipe the stupid, goofy grin off your face and she laughed at you but there was no malice to it.

 

“Here we are, I’d say you can blame me for making you late but there’s no lying to The Professor.” She laughed.

 

“Thanks Rouge, it was nice to meet you.” You said honestly.

 

“You too sweet pea, I hope we see more of you around here.” You said and waved goodbye as you knocked on the door.

 

“Come in Miss Stark.”

 

You opened the door and slipped into the room with an apologetic smile.

 

“I’m sorry I’m late, especially since you’re doing me a favour.” You said contritely.

 

“It’s quite alright my dear, Mr Lebeau can have that affect on people. I do not hold you responsible.” The Professor said kindly.

 

You sat across from him nervously.

 

“Would you like a cup of tea?” He offered.

 

“Please, and thank you.” You accepted and frowned to yourself.

 

The Professor had a way of bringing out good manners in you. You weren’t this polite with anybody else but the kind man just warranted the politeness. He passed you a cup and you sipped at the warm tea. He knew how you took it without asking.

 

“Reading my mind to find out how I take my tea seems like a frivolous use of your powers.” You teased.

 

“I apologise, I simply need to familiarise myself with your mind. I promise you, nothing I learn will be shared without your permission.” He promised.

 

“It’s alright Professor, after the things I’ve endured what you do is hardly an invasion of privacy. I was raised under 24 hour surveillance.” You assured him.

 

“I hope you do not see what I do as similar.”

 

“Not even a little, what you do is done with kindness.” You admitted.

 

“I am humbled to hear it Miss Stark.”

 

“So, how exactly is this going to work?” You asked.

 

“I admit, until I have a better understanding of you I can not say for certain. For today at least I only intend to try and get to know you better.”

“So we’re not going behind the mirror today?” You double checked.

 

“You can relax, we are not going near Vernichtung today.”

 

You breathed a sigh of relief.

 

**\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -**

 

“How did it go?” Bucky asked as you slipped into the passenger seat.

 

“Awful. Logan is a weirdo and a dick and the Professor psycho analysed me until I had a migraine.” You admitted.

 

Bucky looked sympathetic and leaned over to press a gentle kiss to your forehead.

 

“How can I help?” He asked.

 

“Take me home, let me sleep it off.” You sighed.

 

“As you wish.” He said with a grin.

 

“No, it’s weird when you make pop culture references.” You whined as he drove away from the school.

 

He just laughed at you and you massaged your temples.

 

“I think I made a friend though, a girl called Rouge. And I got to see Remy.” You told him.

 

“You know that guy has a thing for you.” He scowled.

 

“He doesn’t. He’s just a friend.” You insisted.

 

“Doll he gives you googly eyes and flirts with you, you aren’t blind.” He pushed.

 

“That’s just his way, he’s charming. He doesn’t mean anything by it.”

 

“You don’t really believe that!” He said in disbelief.

 

“Remy and I went through a traumatic experience together, we came out of it alive and stronger. All there is between us is a mutual respect and friendship forged in a difficult situation.”

 

“Oh is that all? The guy has a bigger crush on you than Wade Wilson does.” He snapped.

 

“Why are we bringing Wade into this?” You muttered.

 

“We aren’t. Wade’s harmless, inappropriate comments and flirting is how he makes friend. Remy is more serious, Remy wants you and you know he does.” Bucky said.

 

“You’re being ridiculous!” You snapped.

 

“Why are you being so obtuse about this? Do you like him flirting with you, is that it? Are you afraid if you admit he’s doing it you’ll have to put a stop to it?” He accused.

“What the hell James? Are you serious?” You snarled angrily.

 

“Oh I’m serious doll, you know what he’s doing and you enjoy it.”

 

“BUCKY!” You yelled in alarm.

 

He hit the brakes just in time. Your blood ran ice cold. There was a roadblock in front of you, several black vans lined up and a small army of men clad in dark tactical suits.

 

“Shit.”

 

You popped open the glove compartment and pulled out a gun.

 

“Get out of the car, head for the trees. I’ll cover you.” Bucky instructed.

 

You were about to protest that you weren’t leaving him but you realised it was his best chance if you ran. Either you could reach the trees and then cover him, or more likely the soldiers would split up and follow after you.

 

“Be careful. Call for backup.” You insisted.

 

“I can handle myself doll, I’ll call Steve as soon as you’re clear.” He promised.

 

You pushed the car door open and rolled out, keeping low to the ground and almost immediatley you heard Bucky shoot at the enemy assailants. You fired off a few shots of your own and sprinted forwards and headed for the trees, running in a zig zag pattern.

 

As far as you were aware, the UN weren’t after you so that limited the options of who it was. Hydra and/or Project Vernichtung. They knew you where you were, they must have had eyes on you. They had chosen to strike when you were as close to alone as you ever were. They probably had plans to take back The Winter Soldier as well.

 

You dodged bullets as you ran, diving behind a tree trunk as soon as you hit the woods. You turned back to check on Bucky, he was holding them off but well over half the forces peeled away from the vans and into the trees on the same side of the road as you. You shot at them until you ran out of bullets.

 

Leading them away from Bucky it was. You ran further into the woods, making enough noise for them to follow and they took the bait. The only problem now was how you were going to take them out.

 

Vernichtung was the only option. There were too many of them and you were out of bullets. You had to break the glass and pray that you would be able to put her back. You dropped the now useless gun and held your arms out.

 

You allowed your anger, your hatred, your fear to wash over you and consume you and with a silent prayer to whatever force in the universe might be listening you gave up control of your body to the malevolent force inside you.

 

You saw a hint of black ripple across your arms before you realized your terrible error and a scream ripped from your throat as Bucky burst into the clearing before your vision went black.

 

“I think I understand you better now.”

You gasped loudly and sat up, looking around you frantically.

 

“Miss Stark, it is alright. It was not real, you allowed me to look into your mind to see your fear of Vernichtung.” The Professor reminded you.

 

Your chest heaved as you tried to draw in oxygen, fear and panic still gripping you.

 

“Sargent Barnes is safe. You did not hurt him, it was all inside your mind.”

 

You remembered now. The Professor had told you he needed to better understand you and asked your permission to go inside your mind to see why you had such a tight lock on Vernichtung. You gradually calmed down.

 

“He’s ok. He’s not hurt, we didn’t get attacked on the road.” You said out loud.

 

“No, you didn’t. The Sargent has not yet arrived to pick you up.” The Professor assured you.

 

You sunk back into the chair with sheer relief.

 

“No offence Professor but we are never, ever doing that again.” You vowed.

 

“The more we explore your relationship and fears regarding your severed half, the greater our chances of ensuring that that kind of scenario never plays out in real life.” He reasoned.

 

You sighed and hung your head, knowing he was right.

 

“I think we have done enough for today. Your partner should be arriving soon to collect you anyway.” He said, politely dismissing you.

 

“Alright. Are you ok, did that affect you?” You checked as you got up to leave.

 

“I would be lying if I said I was unaffected but I assure you, it is nothing I can’t handle. Some earl grey and a late afternoon nap should see me back to normal. I appreciate your concern though.”

 

“If you’re sure...”

 

“I am Miss Stark, thank you. I will see you next week.”

 

“Goodbye Professor.” You said and stepped out of his office.

 

You knocked again and poked your head through the door.

 

“This is real right? I’m not still in my subconscious?”

 

“It is quite real, I swear.” He chuckled.

 

“Ok, bye again.” You said with a wave and closed the door.

 

You made your way outside to wait for Bucky and thankfully you saw the car coming up the driveway as soon as you opened the door. He pulled up and you went straight for the drivers side, opening his door.

“Doll? Is everything ok?” He asked, brow furrowed with concern.

 

You didn’t answer, just kissed him and he responded straight away, kissing you back enthusiastically.

 

You somehow ended up in his lap, trapped between his body and the steering wheel as you wrapped your arms around his neck and his arms pulled you closer. You didn’t care about anything except him in that moment and poured every single drop of love you possessed into your kiss, ignoring the whoops of amusement and encouragement from Yukio and groans of disgust from Negasonic as they walked past.

 

You didn’t see Remy watching you and even if you had, you wouldn’t have cared. You were in the arms of the only man who mattered and he was kissing you so passionately that you might never care about anything else ever again.

 

You and Bucky were all that mattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: I need a break for a couple days.   
> Also me: Posts longest chapter yet a few hours later. 
> 
> I was really set back by the hateful comments, they really did upset me. I wanted to step away and lick my wounds. Then I got angry. The thing is, Jack Docherty, the villain of this story is named after two people, two very real villains from my real life. This story is therapeutic for me, it's a coping mechanism. It's me purging my demons and turning my pain into something with hope and adventure. It's an escape, one I share because maybe, maybe just one other person can find a little escapism in it as well. Hateful anons are NOT going to take that away from me. In future, they are nameless, faceless Hydra agents that get shot in the groin. 
> 
> I'm sorry for ranting and being dramatic.


	36. Health Benefits

You were a mess and you knew it. You also knew that while The Professor could help you with his telepathic abilities, he couldn’t help you with the actual shitshow that was your brain. That was on you. So you made the very adult decision to get professional help.

 

The therapist Tony and Pepper had found for you had been great at helping you settle into normal life but she wasn’t the right person for the job any-more. You needed someone with at least a basic understanding of what you were capable of. So begrudgingly you called Fury and asked for his help. The amount of Agents he must have had to get seen by a psychiatrist meant he actually did have a recommendation for you and after calling the number Maria Hill had forwarded to you and explaining who you were, you got an appointment that very evening.

 

You didn’t want anyone else to know about this but sneaking out hadn’t been an option so you blackmailed Thor into taking you, promising not to tell anyone about the Black cat he had snuck into the compound earlier that week.

 

You sat down on a sofa that was far more comfortable than it looked and let your eyes flit across the room, taking it in. It was a large office that was more library than anything else. The whole room was dark oaks and books. So many books. You tried not to fidget as you waited for Doctor Leonard Samson to arrive but after about 12 seconds you failed miserably and your leg started bouncing. Finally you heard a small commotion outside the office as the Doctor arrived and he opened the door.

 

Your breath hitched in your chest audibly as you caught your first glimpse of him. He was absolutely enormous, probably the most muscular human being you had ever seen in your life. He was closer to seven feet tall than six and his arms were bigger than your entire torso, his biceps looked like they were straining to escape the short sleeved t-shirt he was wearing.

 

You finally ripped your eyes away from his body and looked up at his face, he had shoulder length hair and a sharp, menacing looking face. Though it was a very handsome face you admitted begrudgingly. His eyes were dark and warm, brimming with intelligence.

 

To say you were intimidated was an understatement. Nothing like being in close quarters with a man who had the power to mentally and physically decimate you to make a girl nervous. You finally noticed his mouth was moving, he was speaking to you. Blood rushed to your face and you yanked yourself out of your trance.

 

“Sorry, you’re distracting. I mean I’m distracted.” You told him, mentally slapping yourself.

 

He chucked, a deep rumbling low pitched sound.

 

“It’s alright, I gather you’re nervous about this?” He smiled warmly at you and came to sit on the chair next to the sofa.

 

“Yes. I mean no, I’m not nervous. I’m just not sure coming her was the right decision.” You replied.

 

“Should I be offended?” He asked, amusement in his voice.

 

“I...” You were at a loss on how to dig yourself out of this hole.

 

“It’s fine Miss Stark, I’m a professional. I shouldn’t tease you like that. I’m Doctor Leonard Samson, most know me as Doc Samson though.” He stood back up and offered you his hand.

 

You stood up and the considerable height difference between you was highlighted. You placed your hand in his and it completely enveloped yours but despite the fact he could crush your fingers his handshake was gentle. You swallowed thickly, trying to still your erratic heartbeat.

 

“Pleasure to meet you Doc, I’m obviously Miss Stark.” You stammered

 

You sat back down and shifted in your seat, trying to act natural. Having your brain picked at wasn’t something you were particularly looking forward to.

 

“So how do you wanna do this?” You asked.

 

“Before we begin Miss Stark, you should I take my position quite seriously and in order for this to work you need to trust me. Should you grant me that trust, I won’t betray it. I will never knowingly do anything to harm or endanger you. I may have been recommanded by Miss Hill but my loyalty is with my patients. My loyalty is with you.” He told you solemnly.

 

“Maria called and asked you to report back to her then.” You said, rolling your eyes.

 

“She did, however I won’t do that. In the past, when working for Shield I had to tell her certain things. You are not a Shield agent and I do not work for them anymore.” He admitted.

 

“Alright. I believe you.” You said, though whether you actually trusted him was something you hadn’t decided yet.

 

“Now why don’t we start by you telling me in your own words why you came here today?” He asked.

 

You took a deep breath. Trust issues aside, the issues you had needed attention.

 

“I have a homicidal alter ego I created from the worst parts of my personality during my years of torture and abuse, it has the access to my chaotic and dangerous abilities and it’s trying to take over me so it can destroy humanity.”

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

Therapy was a bust.

 

Alright, so it had only been one session but still… You were disappointed. Though getting everything off your chest to an impartial, non-judgemental person had been kind of cathartic. All you had done in that session was talk, bringing the doctor up to speed on your situation. He had then told you that it was enough for one day and arranged to see you again at the same time next week.

 

Thor had brought you back to the compound and if anyone asked, you two had been at McDonalds. You even had McNuggets for Wanda and Sam to help sell your lie. Your medical status and Thor’s pet problems were safely kept away from the team.

 

You carried Sam’s nuggets into the kitchen and laughed when you saw him.

  
“Well one of us is going to have to change.” You joked.

 

“Not it. This is my best friend I’ll have you know, I reserve the right to wear her face on a t-shirt.” Sam insisted.

 

“Sam it’s _MY_ face!”You laughed.

 

Now that you were public whoever was in charge of The Avengers merch had wasted no time in releasing your line. Tony had every single piece of it delivered while you were at the School earlier that day before your appointment.You had proudly strutted into the kitchen with your t-shirt on, only to find that Sam was also wearing one.

 

Steve walked in and gave you both an amused glance.

 

“Well one of you is going to have to change.” He said with a grin.

 

“Get better jokes Cap.” You mocked while Sam scoffed at your hypocrisy.

 

“Did you see the action figure?” Sam asked.

 

“Oh I saw it, dad had it all delivered.” You replied.

 

“To everyone. We all got a box of your merch this afternoon, I think he might be proud.” Steve said as he poured himself a cup of coffee.

 

“Yeah, but did he have to give us it _all_? I don’t think he realized there was an underwear range.” Sam said, pulling a face.

 

“I’m going to send my panties to Wade, he’ll be over the moon.” You joked at the exact moment Bucky walked in.

 

The four of you froze, you blushing and the three men looking at you in various states of amusement and concern.

 

“That’s not … I didn’t mean… You weren’t supposed to hear that!” You spluttered.

 

“Really?” Bucky said sarcastically.

 

Sam and Steve started edging towards the door.

 

“It wasn’t how it sounded?” You offered meekly.

 

“It sounded like you want to send your underwear to another man behind my back.” He growled and Sam and Steve gave up any pretence of sneakiness and bolted.

 

“Morning doll.” Bucky sniggered and kissed you on the cheek.

 

“That was mean, I really thought you were mad at me!” You pouted.

 

“Nah, I knew what you meant. Was fun to scare those two idiots though.” He said, pushing you up against the fridge door and squeezing your hips. He had just leaned down to kiss you properly when a screeching voice interrupted him.

 

“NO STEVE, I HAVE TO GO BACK FOR HER. I’M COMING BABY GIRL!”

 

You and Bucky shared a look of confusion before Sam burst into the kitchen and picked you up. You saw Bucky smirk in amusement before Sam ran out of the kitchen with you in his arms.

 

“Whatcha doing?” You asked in bewilderment.

 

“Rescuing from your possessive idiot of a boyfriend.”

 

“Ok… Now what?” You pressed as he made his way down the hallways.

 

“I hadn’t thought this far ahead” He admitted.

 

“Do I get to walk at any point?” You asked.

 

“It’s not a daring rescue unless I carry you heroically to safety.”

 

“Alright Falcon but you should know my ‘possessive idiot of a boyfriend’ is following us.” You warned him.

 

You heard Bucky huff in annoyance a few corridors back as Sam started sprinting.

 

“You ran off to Spain with Deadpool and the to Malibu with Tony. I haven’t had you to myself in weeks, Barnes isn’t getting you back.” He sniped.

 

“So this is less of a rescue and more of a kidnapping.” You sighed.

 

You seemed to have a knack for being rescuenapped by Wilson's apparently.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

“Stark.”

 

“Wolfy. Mind telling me why you called me here to a clandestine meeting under the cover of dark? Because if it’s what I think it is, I’ve got to tell you I’m flattered but Pepper and I are happy.” Tony asked.

 

Tony had been curious since the moment the feral X-Man had called and asked him to come to the mansion alone, to discuss a sensitive matter. Logan pushed a tumbler of liquor across the counter to him with an eye roll.

 

“It’s about your kid.”

 

“What about her? Did everything go ok, is something wrong?” Tony asked in a panic.

 

Logan huffed out a breath that was almost a laugh at the sigh of at the normally suave and egotistical billionaire being so ruffled by the mere mention of his daughter.

 

“You cooled off about her and Barnes yet?” Logan asked him.

 

“You called me here because you’re invested in Kit Kat’s love life?”

 

“She was pretty upset about it. It’s affecting her focus. I can’t teach her a damn thing if she’s too busy wondering if her daddy loves her.” Logan said lowly.

 

“Since when are you the touchy feely type? What’s really going on, because I don’t believe for a second this is an intervention.” Tony snarked.

 

“Trust me tin man, I have a vested interest in making sure she’s alright.” Logan growled.

 

“She’s fine. She knows I love her. Kit Kat and Pepper are my family.” Tony snapped.

 

Logan huffed audibly and said nothing, just watching Tony with a disconcerting air. Tony crossed his arms and regarded the Wolverine right back.

 

“It’s like being in a staring contest with a stray cat.” Tony quipped.

 

“There’s your first clue.” Logan said snarkily.

 

“Anne. Her name was Anne.” Logan said out of the blue before Tony could respond.

 

“I’m sorry, I must have got lost in your eyes and missed part of the conversation. Who’s name was Anne?”

 

Logan paused before he sighed wearily.

 

“Her mother. You were looking for a name, her name was Anne.”

 

Tony blinked in surprise.

 

“How… How did you find out.” Tony asked suspiciously.

 

“You’re the genius. Figure it out.”

 

“No. It’s impossible.”

 

“It’s not.”

 

“You can’t be her father.” Tony stammered.

 

“I’m not. You are, obviously. I’m just the biological father.” Logan said wearily.

 

“How?” Tony asked, shaken and apprehensive.

 

Logan arched his brow.

 

“Don’t. You know what I mean. How did this happen, how long have you known about her.” Tony asked furiously.

 

“I didn’t know until you started trying to identify the mother, even then I didn’t actually know. It wasn’t until I met her. If I had know she existed I would have found her.” Logan said, offended by the insinuation.

 

Tony started pacing, overwhelmed by the information.

 

“Why are you telling me this?” He demanded.

 

“Thought you should know.” Logan supplied.

 

“No, I shouldn’t. She doesn’t want to look for her biological father. I can’t keep this from her. What the hell am I supposed to do here?” Tony raged.

 

“You’re her dad, you figure it out.” Logan huffed.

 

“You’re damn right I’m her dad. I love that girl more than anything. She is the kindest, bravest, strongest person I have ever met. I am lucky to be her father.” He raved.

 

Logan shrugged.

 

“What the hell do you want? Are you trying to claim her or disavow yourself of her?” Tony pressed, enraged.

 

“Which would you prefer?” Logan asked.

 

“Neither! She doesn’t deserve either of those things.”

 

“I don’t know. I barely know the kid, she waltzes out of nowhere and I don’t know how to react. She’s got you, she doesn’t need me.” Logan said.

 

“Then why even bother telling me?” Tony shouted.

 

“Because of Anne. I didn’t love her mother, barely knew her. But now things are starting to make sense and there’s something about Anne that you and the kid need to know.” Logan said.

 

“What?” Tony demanded.

 

He didn’t know what to think, what to say, what to do. The information being thrust upon him was far too much to handle rationally and he was regretting ever picking up the phone, let alone flying to the mansion.

 

“Anne told me her father was a scientist. Anne’s last name was Docherty. I’m pretty sure the man who kept your daughter in a cell and tortured her was her own grandfather.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Meanwhile in an alternate universe*  
> “NO SAM, I HAVE TO GO BACK FOR HIM. I’M COMING BABY BOY!” 
> 
> You and Bucky shared a look of confusion before Steve burst into the kitchen and picked him up. You smirked in amusement as Steve ran out of the kitchen with Bucky in his arms. 
> 
>  
> 
> Ok so there's a double celebration going on here... I just passed 100k words with this story! And on Monday, it'll be one whole month old! So I'm celebrating by asking you all a very important question....... 
> 
> For Monday's very super special chapter, do you have any requests? ANy characters you haven't seen yet, and scenarios you'd like to happen?  
> I'll take any suggestions from smutty to incorporating Brooklyn 99 quotes. Go wild, tell me what you want and I'll pick one (maybe more than one) and dedicate Monday's chapter to it!


	37. Sign On The Dotted Line

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to add the poster I made to the last chapter! So here, I really hope you like it. It took me like a whole day to make... Yeah I have no life, luckily.

 ********** MC'S POSTER**********

 

Normally having a master assassin sneaking into your room to wake you up was an annoyance but on this rare occasion as the smell of coffee wafted over to you, you decided you could be happy about it. You felt the bed dip and heard a cup being set on the bedside table before a light kiss was pressed to your lips.

 

“Mmm, morning Natasha.” You sniggered.

 

Bucky pinched your hip and you squeaked. He paused in surprise and chuckled lowly.

 

“Doll, did you just squeak?”

 

“No.” You mumbled.

 

You felt his fingers creep back down to your hip and you dived under the duvet as a defence tactic. A low rumble of content vibrated in your chest as you snuggled under the covers, safe from prying hands. Or so you thought. There was a pinching sensation at your ass and you squeaked again, loudly.

 

Bucky’s laughter permeated the room as you grappled with the cover, trying to escape so you could hit him. Before you could emerge, you felt him slide under the cover to join you. His stubble brushed against your throat as he ghosted his lips across it and you sighed happily, thoughts of revenge banished. He hovered over you and one of his legs ended up between yours.

 

Accidentally you took advantage of the situation when the thick muscle of his thigh pressed against your core and you moaned lowly. Your hips jerked forwards of their own accord, seeking more of the delicious friction.

 

It was a mystery how you could have once hated this man. The days of wanting to hurt Bucky were long gone, now all you wanted was to…

 

“Wait, I used to hate you!” You exclaimed, sitting up abruptly causing him to roll out of the way to avoid being headbutted.

 

“Glad it’s a used to sweetheart but maybe we can get back to the not hating?” He suggested.

 

“No, I really really hated you Bucky. I used to daydream about snapping your neck.” You said excitedly.

 

“Thanks.” He said dryly.

 

“It was intense, I would have killed you if I could.”

 

“Alright, how exactly do you go from purring under me to remembering when all you wanted to do with my body was bury it?” He demanded with a scowl.

 

Oh right, Bucky didn’t know what you were talking about. He had no idea you’d just had a major breakthrough. If Vernichtung was kept locked away by your happiness, how did your anger at Bucky factor into that? And why had you never buried those dark feeling with every other dark emotion you’d ever had?

 

You surged forward and straddled him, pushing your lips against his.

 

“I. Love. You.” You whispered, punctuating each word with a kiss.

 

His arms circled around you and he pulled in closer.

 

Knock Knock.

 

You both froze.

 

“Kit Kat, you decent?” Tony called through the door.

 

“NO!” You shrieked.

 

Bucky groaned and rested his head against your shoulder.

 

“Well hurry up. I’m counting to ten and coming in.” Tony informed you.

 

The absolute last thing you needed was for your dad to walk in and see Bucky in your bed looking dishevelled.

 

“Get in the bathroom.” You hissed.

 

He glared at you as he silently stomped into the bathroom. You brushed your fingers through your hair.

 

“Come in.” You called sweetly.

 

Tony juggled the door open, two coffee cups and a box of doughnuts in his hands.

 

“Morning dad.” You said excitedly, too excitedly.

 

“Who are you and where’s my daughter?” Tony said with a suspicious frown.

 

“What?”

 

“You are never ever this happy without coffee.” Tony pointed out.

 

You grabbed the cup of your bedside table and took a gulp.

 

“Natasha already dropped a cup off.” You explained.

 

“Romanov left about two hours ago.” Tony said snippely.

 

Your eyes went wide and you tried to think of a way out of this.

 

“Bucky’sinthebathroom.” You admitted.

 

The bathroom door swung open and the man in question stepped out.

 

It was the single most awkward moment of your life. You were bright red, Bucky was carefully expressionless and Tony looked like he’s just swallowed a wasp.

 

“Barnes. Get out. I need to talk to my daughter.” Your father said evenly, restraining his anger.

Bucky shot you a glance and you glared at Tony who sighed heavily.

 

“Since you already brought her coffee, you can take this one.” He said to Bucky with false friendliness, shoving the hot liquid at the soldier who luckily had lighting fast reflexes.

 

“I’ll see you later sweetheart.” Bucky told you and you nodded tersely.

 

As soon as he left the room you and Tony were at each others throats.

 

“This is you not rubbing you and Barnes in my face?” He snapped.

 

“Did you have have to be so rude?” You demanded at the same time.

 

You glared at each other and you crossed your arms.

 

“Why is he in your room? Alone?” Tony asked furiously.

 

“Because it’s not the 1800’s and I’m an adult?” You responded snarkily.

 

Tony threw the box of doughnuts at you and you had to uncross your arms and grab it before it smacked you in the face.

 

“Eat your breakfast. We leave in half an hour.” He shot at you and stormed away.

 

“Where are we going?” You demanded.

 

“The City. You’re being called in to officially sign The Accords.” He said testily and slammed the door in your face.

 

You groaned loudly and fell back against the bed in a sulk.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

“You must keep your ID badge on you at all times, failure to do so can have consequences.” A tall Nordic looking woman told you.

 

You glanced up at Miss… you’d forgotten her name already. The blonde had met you at the door earlier this morning, sweeping you away from Tony brusquely and bringing you to admin to process you.

 

“Keep ID on me or bad things will happen, got it.” You said and mock saluted the woman.

 

She gave you a look that you guessed was supposed to make you cower in fear but you just raised a perfect arched brow at her with an amused smirk and thought about all the ways you could easily take her out without so much as breaking a sweat.

 

She must have seen the thoughts dancing in your eyes and she backed down first.

 

“If you follow me, I’ll take you to the meeting now.” She said, a noticeable tremor in her voice.

 

Her high heels clip clopped on the marble floors as she led you to the packed room. Secretary Ross and his buddies who you had never bothered to learn the names of were all sitting above everyone else, looking down on the crowd of seasoned journalists, low tier politicians and Tony and Pepper.

 

You took your seat beside Tony and rather than wait for Ross to call everyone to order you spoke up loudly, getting everyone’s attention.

 

“Order in the court.” You called.

 

“Sorry, just really wanted to day that.” You admitted sheepishly to Pepper.

 

“Miss Stark, Mr Stark, Miss Potts. We’re here today so Miss Stark can officially sign the accords.” Ross said.

 

You waited for Tony to make a witty remark but he was sat back in his seat, silent as a mouse. He hadn’t said a word to you in the car either. Fine, let him sulk.

 

“I’m aware of why I’m here.” You snarked.

 

“Good, then we can get right to it. Unless there’s any other unsanctioned missions you need to undertake before we begin?” Ross said sarcastically.

 

“Gee, when you say it like that it almost sounds like the UN is upset. I’m sorry, did you want Spain to remain under the influence of a drug cartel smuggling illegal drugs into other countries, including the US?” You asked with mock politeness.

 

“We all get it Miss Stark, you’re a hero. What do you want, a parade?” Ross retorted.

 

“Nah, Spain is already throwing me one next month. Spain is one of the countries under the Accords as well isn’t it?” You said with a victorious smirk.

 

Tony kicked you under the table and you turned to look at him innocently. He and Pepper were glaring at you.

 

“Miss Stark, you have been out of the UN’s control for too long. Today we’re bringing you into the fold like should have been done a long time ago. That means from this day forth you don’t do anything without permission. You go where we say, you do what we tell you. If we say jump, you say how high. You are no longer a free agent, you are part of the bigger picture.”

 

You bristled. It had always been expected that you would sign the Accords since you had been outed, but you never realised what exactly it meant. It meant a loss of freedom. Nobody had asked you if you wanted to sign them and you realised that you didn’t. You did not want to sign away your life to Secretary Ross and his cronies.

 

“Here’s a question for you Rossy, if I can take down an entire mafia clan in one night then why do you have The Avengers sitting on their asses until a problem directly affects you? Seems like a waste of resources.” You asked calmly.

 

“I don’t like what you’re insinuating Miss Stark.” He said.

 

“I’m not insinuating a damn thing, I’m straight up saying it. The Accords were supposed to protect the public by regulating powered people but it just shifted the balance of power. You use The Avengers as your own personal attack dogs, you abuse the trust placed in you because you are a selfish bureaucrat. You don’t give a damn about protecting people, you just want to feel powerful.”

 

“How dare you!”

 

“How dare _YOU_! I am not now, nor will I ever be a weapon for a man with an inferiority complex. The only people I will serve are the people outside these walls, the innocent ones who need a defender.” You shouted, standing up.

 

“So you’re refusing to sign the accords. Is that what you’re saying Miss Stark?”

 

“While the Accords are in your hands, yes I am.”

 

“Such a shame to retire so early in your career.” He sneered.

 

“The problem is that you think it’s a career, it’s not. I have the power to make a difference in people’s lives and as a very dear friend once told me ‘With great power comes great responsibility’. I will help whoever needs me, regardless of whether or not I have your permission.”

 

You were pushing it and you knew it but looking at Ross it wasn’t his face you were seeing. He was just another powerful man who wanted to put you on a leash and use your power for his own goals. You weren’t being irrational though, Ross wasn’t Docherty but he was not a good man and you were not going to hand over your control to him.

 

“Why don’t we all take a break and reconvene in a few minutes?” Pepper said authoritatively.

 

“We are not on your schedule Miss Potts.” Ross sneered.

 

“You are today.” Pepper said, dismissing them as Tony grabbed your arm and hustled you from the room.

 

You shot a heated glare of disgust over your shoulder before the door closed and Tony released you.

 

“What the fuck are you doing?” He hissed.

 

“What I have to do.”

 

“This was not the plan. We came here so you could sign, not piss off and embarrass the Secretary of State in front of a room full of journalists.” He said, his aggravation driving his tone.

 

“For the record, what you’re feeling right now is how I feel every day.” Pepper informed him.

“That’s different. I approach the line, maybe put one foot over it. I don’t hurl them over the line and stomp on it!” He rebutted angrily.

 

“I am not signing that fucking contract. It’s never going to happen.” You told him loudly.

 

“Kit Kat do you have any idea what I went through for the accords? The Avengers were ripped apart over it. It took so long to get Steve to sign, I don’t need to have that fight with my own daughter. The Accords are safe, I wouldn’t have allowed them if they weren’t.”

 

“You were wrong. I love you dad but you were so wrong. The rest of you can sign and do whatever is right behind the scenes but I can’t. I can’t sign away control of my own abilities to somebody else.” You insisted, pushing your hair back in agitation as you tried to stop from pacing.

 

“You’re projecting your issues onto The Accords, this isn’t the same thing.” He said as calmly as he could.

 

“No it’s not but it isn’t that different either. I am sorry this puts us at odds but I am not going to just roll over and do what you think is the right thing when I know it’s wrong.” You insisted.

 

“They’ll arrest you Kit Kat, do you get that?”

 

“They might, but I won’t stay in a cage ever again.” You vowed.

 

“So that’s it? You’re going to throw away everything you’ve built, your whole life? Because that’s what will happen, you’ll be a wanted criminal. No more me, no more Pepper, no more Sam, no more Bucky. You’ll lose it all.” He raged.

 

You considered your words very carefully before you said them and looked Tony right in the eyes.

 

“I took decades of suffering for the chance to be good, to do good. I will not sign it all away.”

 

You turned on your heel and walked away, pushing the doors open and striding straight into the flashing lights of the press.

 

“Miss Stark, did you sign the accords?” Was the question being hurled at you by dozens of papparazi.

 

“I did not and I won’t be signing them.” You said, walking through the crowd.

 

“Why not?”

 

“Will you be retiring?”

 

You stopped and turned around. You could see Tony watching you from inside and you held his gaze.

 

“Retire? I’m just getting started. If somebody needs my help I’ll be there, I won’t wait for the UN to send me in.” You said with a smirk before your eyes went cold and you stared down the camera.

 

“I know you’re watching this Docherty, you always are. You wanted to unleash me on the world to create chaos, well here I am. But I’m not going to end the world, I’m going to save it, piece by piece. So next time Aliens attack the capital or a druglord tries to smuggle heroin into an innocent community and I’m there to stop it, don’t thank me… Thank Dr Jack Docherty.”

 

You calmly turned your back on the camera, on the crown and on the UN and walked away, feeling like for the first time you had actually done what you wanted, not what was needed or expected.

 

To hell with the consequences.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: *Aggressive listening to Power Anthems* Fuck you Secretary Ross!
> 
> This was such an important chapter for Reader's character development, I hope I did it justice :/


	38. Wilson Squared

“Tony, you can’t be mad at her. She’s exactly like you, it’s almost scary.” Pepper said in your defence.

 

You were nowhere to be seen, having disappeared after calling out the UN and Docherty live on camera.

 

“It’s different when I do it!” Tony insisted.

 

“Because somebody else has to deal with it when you do it, I have to deal with it. But when she does it, it’s on you.” Pepper said.

 

“You’re enjoying this far too much!” Tony accused.

 

“I’m worried about her as well but they can’t arrest her for not signing the accords or practising free speech. Until she actively breaks the law, all they can do is make threats.” Pepper sighed.

 

“Threats are bad, everyone is making threats against her! And if she’s on the wrong side of the accords, how am I supposed to protect her from Hydra and Docherty?” Tony demanded, two seconds away from tearing his hair out.

 

“We will find a way. Nobody is touching our girl.” Pepper said vehemently.

 

Tony smiled sappily at her.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

The Avengers were divided. They’d all watched your escapes on the news and quickly devolved into two sides arguing.

 

In the middle of an Avengers family argument Sam checked his phone far too casually and started edging towards the door. Bucky narrowed his eyes and moved to stand next to him.

 

“You know where she is don’t you?” He asked quietly.

 

“Listen man, she’s overwhelmed. She needs space to think and calm down.” Sam hissed back.

 

“She doesn’t need space, she needs her best friend. I’ll distract everyone so you can sneak out.” Bucky said.

 

Sam looked taken aback and Bucky rolled his eyes.

 

“I know she loves me but she’s loved you for longer. She just tipped her whole world on it’s axis, she needs something familiar.” Bucky pointed out reasonably.

 

Sam nodded in understanding.

 

“Alright Barnes. You clear a path and I’ll go and look after our girl.”

 

Bucky nodded back discreetly and went to the other side of the room and started pacing angrily. After a few moments he cracked his fist down on a table, making a bang that got everybody’s attention.

 

“Why are we arguing about whether or not she did the right thing? We should be concentrating on what Ross is going to do next!” He raged.

 

“Bucky’s right, she done it and we have to deal with it!” Steve agreed.

 

In the ensuing chaos Sam slipped away unseen.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

You saw Sam walking across the park towards you and sighed in relief. You didn’t regret your decision but the adrenaline had worn off and now you just felt nervous. You’d ripped the rug out from under yourself and while it was the right choice, you didn’t know where you stood now. Sam was steady, reliable and safe. You needed your best friend more than anything right now.

 

“Interesting place to hide.” He noted as he approached.

 

“I figured a public spot was probably my best bet.” You admitted.

 

“Until you actively defy the accords with more than words, Ross can’t do shit.” Sam huffed.

 

“Sam... Did you think I did the right thing?” You asked curiously.

 

Sam sighed and offered you his arm. You accepted and linked your arm with his as he started walking along the park path with you.

 

“I think you did the right thing for you. I don’t think you would be you if you did anything else.” He said diplomatically.

 

“But I made everything more difficult for everybody else.” You pushed.

 

You knew you’d pretty much screwed everyone else over and you were guilty but the UN had backed you into a corner and you had made the only move you could bring yourself to.

 

“Yeah you did, but I think you had too. Most of us don’t like the accords, we signed to keep the peace. Even those who agree with them don’t like Ross. Maybe you’re leading us towards a change. Would you sign if somebody you trusted was in charge?” Sam asked you.

 

“Yeah, I would. If I really trusted them. If it was somebody qualified, experienced and honest. Somebody with good intentions.” You said carefully.

 

Sam looked at you suspiciously.

 

“Are you thinking of somebody specific?” He asked.

 

“I am. Somebody The UN would approve of and The Avengers would listen to. Someone who can talk politics and strategy, make moral choices and keep the world safe.”

 

“I don’t think they’d approve of Cap if that’s where you’re going with this...”

 

“I’m not. I’m thinking of Rhodey.” You admitted.

 

Sam gaped for a second.

 

“That’s actually perfect. Colonel James Rhodes, War Machine. That could work.” He admitted.

 

“I’d sign for him, he wouldn’t abuse the position. For either side. The trick is getting the UN to fire Ross and replace him with Rhodey while thinking it was all their idea.” You said, swerving towards a food truck.

 

“So we ask Nat for help.” He said.

 

“We ask Nat for help.” You agreed.

 

“I’ve gotta ask, did you plan this before you told Ross to shove it?” He enquired.

 

“Honestly? No. I just did what my heart was telling me. It was only after I realised I was fucked and I wished someone good were running the show I thought of it.” You admitted.

 

You ordered food for the two of you and paid while Sam was lost in thought.

 

“If we can talk everyone into getting on board with this, and I don’t think it will be too difficult then The Accords might actually be what Tony was hoping they would. I’d still rather they didn’t exist at all, Steve as well probably but at least this way it’s a decent compromise.” He decided.

 

You nodded and motioned for him to stay while you went to a bench and put down some food on it and came back.

 

“Whatcha doing?” He asked curiously.

 

“You were followed.” You told him and he tensed.

 

You just smirked and motioned for him to watch the food. A few seconds passed before a red figure slipped out from behind a tree and crept towards the food.

 

“Hiiiiiiiiiiiiii Peaches, other Wilson!” Deadpool called as he grabbed the food you’d left for him.

 

“No way.” Sam groaned, annoyed he’d been stalked by the merc.

 

“Hi sweetie!” You called back as Wade literally skipped over.

 

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

Bucky knocked on the door apprehensively. When Friday had asked him to come to the Lab, he’d had a pretty good idea about what Tony wanted to discuss. He stepped inside and Tony flung his screwdriver aside and looked at the Winter Soldier with a harsh glare.

 

“Do you love her?” Tony went straight for the kill.

 

“Yes.” It was a simple word but it held a universe’s worth of weight, he said it with such surety and conviction.

 

“Then convince her to sign the accords.” Tony implored.

 

“What?” Bucky blinked. That wasn’t where he thought this was going.

 

“If she doesn’t then she’s going to end up a criminal, on the run from the government, from Hydra and from Project Vernichtung. How long do you think we can protect her if that happens?”

 

“I’m not going to ask her to sign away her control and even if I did she wouldn’t do it.”

 

“She loves with her whole heart, she doesn’t know any other way. If she loves you, then she really loves you. I hate that but I can’t change it so you need to use that love to save her from herself.” Tony said with a bitter tone.

 

“She loves you more than anything Stark, if she won’t change her mind for you then she won’t do it for anything.” Bucky argued.

 

“Why is nobody taking this as seriously as I am? If they come for her she’ll have to run and she can’t come back. I’m going to lose her and so are you. Or are you going to disregard everything Rogers did to get you here and go on the run again?” Tony asked furiously.

 

“Steve did what he had to do because he’s my family. He’ll understand if I do what I have to for her.”

 

“So you are planning on running with her?”Tony said derisively.

 

Bucky didn’t answer him but the answer was clear anyway from the stubbornness of his stance to the passion in his eyes.

 

“Good.” Tony said with a nod.

 

“Wait what?” Bucky was thrown.

 

“I hate you. I don’t want to and I know it’s unfair and irrational but I do. Having you near my daughter terrifies me but the thought of her out there alone terrifies me more.” Tony admitted.

 

“You were hoping I would go with her if she ran.” Bucky accused.

 

“And now I know you will. I can’t, they would find us faster if I was with her but you know how to hide. I can help from here and lead them away from you as much as possible and you can make sure nobody finds her.” Tony said, turning his back on Bucky.

 

“Stark, I never planned to fall in love with her. I’m sor...”

 

“Don’t.” Tony spat angrily.

 

“She deserves someone better than you loving her but I’d make a deal with the devil himself to keep her safe and your love will protect her.”

 

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

When Wade said he knew a good place for you to hang out and lay low, Sam had been sceptical but intrigued. You had been excited, Wade always took you to the best places.

 

“A strip club?” Sam demanded uncomfortably.

 

“A classy establishment with exotic dancers performing.” Deadpool corrected.

 

“Man this is wrong on so many levels.” Sam said, his eyes drifting to the stage.

 

“That’s Candy, want me to introduce you to her?” Wade asked, leaning his head on Sam’s shoulder.

 

“No I do not!” Sam said, pushing Wade away.

 

“You can’t be ok with this!” He said, turning to you.

 

You weren’t standing next to him like he thought.

 

“Guys, they have a buffet!” You called excitedly from the other side of the room, piling chicken wings onto a plate.

 

“Well if they have a buffet...” Sam shrugged.

 

“Oh Candyyyyy, my friend wants a Dance!” Deadpool called the woman working the pole.

 

“I do not...!” Sam insisted but you didn’t seem phased by Wade’s announcement and the woman was already heading over.

 

“Well, I’d hate to be rude.” He said and grinned.

 

“I knew we were spiritually related!” Wade crowed excitedly.

 

You ignored the entire exchange in favour of balancing as much food as you could on your plate until a woman came to stand next to you.

“Hey, I saw you on TV earlier. Loved the way you stood up to those assholes.” She told you.

 

You looked up from the chicken wing you were devouring and smiled shyly at her.

 

“Thanks, I’m glad somebody sees it my way.” You laughed.

 

She very kindly picked up your second plate for you and carried it to an empty table.

 

“Wade was impressed as well, he was practically crying with pride.” She said with a fond smile.

 

“Oh you know Wade?”

 

“I’m Vanessa, his girlfriend.”

 

You choked on the chicken wing and looked at her in shock.

 

“You’re who now?” You croaked.

 

“It’s nice to finally meet you Peaches. Daddypool’s told me all about you.” She said with an amused grin and a friendly wink.

 

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“She’s not there.”

 

Tony paused his angry stride towards your room and turned to look at Natasha.

 

“Of course she isn’t.” He said bitterly.

 

“Don’t worry, Wilson went to get her. He thinks he’s subtle.” Natasha smirked and handed Tony a folded piece of paper.

 

“I don’t like to be handed things, especially not mysterious pieces of paper by super spy’s.”

 

“This is where I went this morning. I knew she wouldn’t sign, people who spent their lives being controlled by someone who wanted to use their abilities don’t willingly sign away that control to someone else. This is her contingency plan I set up. Show her the paper, have her memorise the address and then burn it.” Natasha instructed.

 

“A little warning would have been nice before I walked into the situation.” Tony grumbled, snatching the paper.

 

“You really should have known Tony.” Natasha admonished him.

 

“Yeah, hindsight is 20-20 though. Listen I need you to run a name for me, very quietly.”

 

Natasha looked intrigued.

 

“What’s the name?”

 

“Anne Docherty.”

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

You honestly couldn’t tell if Vanessa was just a natural flirt who was being nice or if she was actually flirting with you. If it was the latter you were really going to regret asking her to teach you how to give a lap dance, but something told you Bucky would forgive you.

 

“Well hello there.” Wade purred and you peered around Vanessa’s hips to look at him.

“This isn’t what it looks like!” You defended yourself.

 

“Hey Red, your girl is as adorable as you said she would be.” Vanessa greeted him as he kissed her on the cheek.

 

“I told you you’d like her. So can we keep her?” He said, pulling off his mask and giving her puppy dog eyes.”

 

“NOPE!” You yelled, dumping Vanessa onto his lap instead.

 

“Yes we can.” Vanessa smirked.

 

“What about Wilson, can we keep him?” Wade pleaded.

 

“Where is my Sam?” You asked nervously.

 

You looked around and spotted Sam chatting away animatedly to three women who all looked convincingly invested in what he had to say.

 

“I think she’s pretty in love with her soldier though.” Vanessa warned him, shooting you a soft grin.

 

“Aren’t we all?” Wade sighed dreamily.

 

You grinned at the thought of Bucky. Your soldier. You didn’t care what Tony said, you wouldn’t lose Bucky. You wouldn’t lose anybody, you didn’t care what you had to do to pull it off. All you had to do was keep out of trouble long enough to get Rhodey on the UN council so could sign the accords.

 

But because fate was a bitch and Wade Wilson pissed of a lot of people that was the moment the bullets started flying.

 

You immediately grabbed Vanessa from Wade and pushed her behind you.

 

“Friends of yours?” You asked Wade as you watched Sam dive behind the bar.

 

“DEADPOOL! Our boss has a message for you!” One of the goons yelled.

 

“Vanessa, get under the table. Wade, give Sam a gun.” You instructed calmly and stepped into the centre of the club.

 

“Not to be a cliché but gentlemen, you really don’t want to do this.” You addressed them.

 

“Holy shit, It’s Deathwave!” One of them yelled as they all aimed their guns at you.

 

“Always happy to meet a fan.” You smirked.

 

“We’re here for Deadpool, we don’t have any beef with you.” The de facto leader sneered.

 

“Hate to break it to you sweetcheeks but she’s with me.” Wade called helpfully.

 

“What he said.” You agreed.

 

They opened fire on you and you kicked the table you’d placed yourself behind up into the air to shield yourself. It was a lot harder than Steve made it look and you had to dive to the side to avoid getting shot.

 

You heard the sounds of screaming and looked up in time to see a guy getting stabbed by Wade. You stood up and grabbed the gun arm of one of the men and snapped the bone in half, kneeing him in the head when he fell to the ground. One of his buddies snarled angrily at you but before he could retaliate Sam shot him.

 

Wade was cackling maniacally as he slashed and stabbed his way through them. You rolled your eyes and picked a man up by the shirt and threw him clear across the club.

 

“You idiots really want to take on Deadpool _and_ Deathwave?” You asked them, purposely not identifying Sam for his own protection.

 

“Let’s get out of here!” They shrieked.

 

You pulled Wade back by the scruff of the neck as they fled.

 

“Let them go.” You snarled.

 

“But..”

 

“I am not getting arrested in a Strip Club for breaking the accords like this. It’s not nearly epic enough and it’ll be hard to explain.” You said wearily.

 

“So I guess you want me to forget this happened?” Sam asked you, crossing his arms.

“Ugh, what do you want in return?” You sighed.

 

“At least one day a week with you, no Barnes and you have to help me get back at him and cap for always picking on me during runs.”

 

“Done.” You agreed.

 

“What do I get for keeping your secret?” Wade asked you cheekily.

 

“I’ll give you Cap’s phone number.” Sam offered before you could negotiate.

 

“DONE!!!!” Wade shrieked excitedly.

 

Wade became very hard to contain as he flapped over to Sam and you and Vanessa rolled your eyes simultaneously.

 

“You wanna bribe me for your silence?” You asked as you checked on her.

 

“Nope. Just keep coming round here once in a while to say hi and we’ll call it even.” She said and you shook on it.

 

“Wilson I knew you got me, it’s like we’re one! We are meant to be, we’re spiritual soulmates!” Wade said loudly and Sam rolled his eyes.

 

“Sam Wilson will you marry me?” Wade sunk down to one knee and looked up at Sam seriously.

 

“No.” Sam said shortly.

 

“But we are destined for one another and the best part is we don’t even have to change our last name!”

 

Sam shot you a pleading look and you sniggered.

 

“Dibs on being your best man!”

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

You’d wanted a calm normal day but what you had got was far from it. Still, you had your priorities in order now and since you had calmed down all you wanted was Bucky. You walked quickly though the compound, hoping to avoid running into anyone else before you found your soldier but again, fate was being a bitch.

 

You heard gentle footsteps skittering down the hall and poked your head around the corner to see a little furry black blur running away. You sighed and shot after it, scooping the black cat off the floor.

 

“Not so fast buddy, Thor will be in a world of trouble if anyone else sees you.” You muttered to the hissing creature.

 

You narrowed your eyes at it and hissed back. The evil thing looked taken aback for a seconds before it swiped it’s claws at your cheek and you swore and dropped it.

 

“How dare you manhandle me mortal!” The cat that wasn’t a cat anymore said.

 

The cat was now a very very tall dark haired man, clad in green and gold and wearing the most vicious sneer you had ever been on the receiving end of.

 

“Well the good news is my transgressions are about to be old news!” You said.

 

“You would betray Thor to draw attention away from yourself?” He hissed in disapproval.

 

“Don’t take the moral high ground with me LOKITTY, I’m telling my father because Thor snuck a god who once tried to take over the planet into the compound!” You shrieked, offended.

 

“So you would rather run and tattle to your father than speak to my brother and give him a chance to explain himself? How typically selfish of your kind.”

 

You frowned at him. He had a point actually.

 

“Fine. Kitty up and I’ll take you back to Thor.” You huffed.

 

“I do not take orders from Mortals.” He insisted, affronted.

 

“Listen to me tall, dark and menacing, you either hide and come with me to Thor or I take you to see Dr Banner... It’s a compromise, not an order.” You told him.

 

“Very well... little one.” He said, making Thor’s cute term of endearment for you sound like an insult.

 

You were staring down at a cat again.

 

“If you try and scratch me again I’ll snap your tiny neck.” You warned and the cat rolled it’s bright green eyes at you.

 

Ignoring how surreal that was you tentatively picked it up and hurried back to Thor’s room. Without bothering to knock you burst in.

 

“Little one! You have brought back Lo... my cat!”

 

“Yeah Thor, I brought your evil brother who you snuck in in cat form back before he could escape.!” You hissed, dropping the cat on a chair.

 

Thor had the grace to look chastised.

 

“Little one, he is not evil. He is my brother and I can explain.” Thor said, his eyes pleading.

 

“You had better. You have two minutes to explain why the villain who brought aliens to New York and killed hundreds of people is currently licking his paw and giving me side eyes.”

 

“Loki was not himself when he did these things, he was under the influence of a true villain.” Thor insisted.

 

“That’s his defence? And you believed him? He’s the god of lies!”

 

“You know nothing of Loki except what your father has told you, I have known him all my life. I believe him.” Thor protested.

 

“Well if you’re so sure he’s telling the truth, why not be honest with The Avengers?” You demanded.

 

“I do not believe they will treat him fairly.” He admitted.

 

“Well that’s insulting. They let Bucky in, they let Natasha in... Tony created Ultron. Forgiveness is a thing around here, for those who deserve it. I’m going to go get my dad and you and I will explain Loki. If he’s telling the truth then I promise you, he will be treated fairly.” You assured Thor.

 

“And if he is not?”

 

“You are my friend Thor, I won’t let anything bad happen to your brother, even if he is a little fluffball of evil.” You promised, glaring at the cat in question.

 

You turned towards the door and reached for the handle.

 

“Loki no!” Thor roared.

 

You whirled round and were blinded by a green light.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

“You have some explaining to do...” Clint sniggered at Thor.

 

The God of Thunder was stood in the living room looking sheepish and nervous, holding a black cat by the scruff of the neck in one hand and a toddler screaming and crying into his chest with the other. The little girl looked up at Clint and Natasha with very familiar red rimmed, tear filled eyes and held her arms out to the red-headed assassin.

 

“Oh no, you have _a lot_ of explaining to do!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is for UnitedKindomOrgy who requested the Wilson day out with marriage proposal. The next chapter is for Annabelle who suggested something tropey like de-aging or sex pollen and for the many many people who asked for Loki! I hope you like and are excited for the next chapter? 
> 
> Also, there's a lot to unpack in this chapter but what are your thoughts on Rhodey???And Loki? And Bucky knowing she needed Sam?? And Tony and Bucky?? Christ this was a long chapter!!


	39. A Reintroduction To Fatherhood

“What’s the emergency?” Tony asked, walking into the common room with Pepper by his side.

 

“This is yours.” Natasha said, thrusting the screaming child into his arms and he was forced to grab a hold of her.

 

“Tony!” Pepper screeched.

 

“Uh.” Tony was looking down at the child who had stopped screaming and was sniffling softy as she threw her arms around his neck.

 

There was no doubt in his mind who she was but as to how she’d gotten that way...

 

“Kit Kat?” He said softly and she looked up at him, her eyes wide and confused.

 

“Kit... What??” Pepper asked, perplexed.

 

“Hey sweetheart, what happened?” Tony asked the child, ignoring everyone else in favour of his significantly smaller daughter.

 

“Is this a latent ability?” Pepper asked.

 

“Nope. Ask Thor.” Clint said.

 

Tony’s head snapped up and he glared at Thor.

 

“You did this? Why? How? Is she ok?” He demanded.

 

Thor shifted guiltily and held up the cat Tony only now noticed he was holding.

 

“Brother, the jig as the mortals would say, is up.” Thor said, his usually loud and rumbling voice low and soft.

 

The cat made a huffing noise and Tony turned, shifting his kid away from the Norse God now standing in the middle of the common room. As soon as Loki appeared the toddler in his arms started wriggling and making a strange noise.

 

“Is she growling?” Clint asked in amusement.

 

She was in fact growling, her little arms waving madly about as she tried to wriggle free and presumably attack Loki since he was the one she was growling at.

 

“Pepper, take Kit Kat out of here.” Tony instructed.

 

“She is in no danger from Loki, presumably that is why he reverted her to a child's form.” Thor tried to assure.

 

Loki nonchalantly ignored the several many guns aimed at him.

 

“She intended to tell her father I was here, tattling like a child. I simply stopped her in a justified way.” He said as if it were the obvious thing.

 

Pepper tried to prise her out of Tony’s arms but the child was stronger than she looked and managed to get free, scampering across the room towards the trickster.

 

“What’s going o...?” Steve walked in, took on look at Loki, the stand off and the small blur shooting towards the villain and scooped the attacking child up in his arms. Steve had an easier time keeping her still than Tony had.

 

“She’s stronger than an average kid, what’s going on?” He asked, keeping his eye on Loki.

 

“Change her back. Now Brother.” Thor urged.

 

“Change who back?” Bucky asked, coming into the room behind Steve with his gun drawn.

 

“BUCKY!” The child shrieked.

 

Bucky frowned at the kid.

 

“Shoot.” She demanded, pointing at Loki.

 

The colour drained from Bucky’s face as he looked at her.

 

“Is this... Is she... Is?” He stammered.

 

“Thor snuck his brother into the compound in cat form, your girlfriend found out and Loki de-aged her.” Clint summed up.

 

“Which is why he’s not dead, we don’t want her stuck like this.” Tony snapped.

 

“Shoot.” The child implored again, her eyes beseeching Bucky.

 

Bucky stared at her as if in a trance. His face was expressionless and he turned on his heel and walked out of the room without a word.

 

“I can’t return her to her adult self.” Loki said smugly.

 

“What?” Several voices asked simultaneously.

 

“Well I could, provided you don’t shoot me but it will take time.” He said with a shrug.

 

“Pepper, go. Kit Kat, sweetheart go with Pepper ok? Daddy will take care of the bad man.” Tony cooed gently at the little girl who was glaring at Loki over Steve’s shoulder.

 

“Come on sweetie, you hungry?” Pepper asked, holding out her arms hopefully.

 

The girl leapt away from Steve, landing lithely in Peppers hold. Pepper hurried out of the room with her and Tony turned back to Loki.

 

“I have questions and I’m not above getting Banner downstairs to ask them.”

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

 

Now that you were away from Loki you were a lot calmer but you couldn’t understand why Bucky had ran away from you. You heard Pepper ask Friday to run some scans of you as she set you down on a chair in her office.

 

“Alright sweetheart, I don’t know how long you’ll be like this so I’m going to order some things we might need. Do you want some paper? Want to draw a picture?” She asked you.

 

You nodded sadly and started scribbling lines on the paper while she clicked things on the computer, occasionally asking you to choose between things. The first time it happened you just shrugged and she just got both options so you kept doing that.

 

About forty minutes later Tony came back in and you looked up at him, dropping the pen and holding your arms out. He picked you up and held you tightly.

 

“What’s going on? What did you find out?” Pepper asked him.

 

“I’m going to talk to Pepper alright, stay here for a second.” He told you, ruffling you hair when he put you down.

 

He walked over to Pepper and kept watching you as you scribbled on the paper again.

 

“She kind of has her memories but she can’t process them. So she knows who we are and how she feels about us but that’s about it.”

 

“What about her incredibly dangerous alter ego?” She whispered.

 

“She’s had it since she was a child, her control over it is intense. I think it’s the same as adult her, as long as she’s happy Vernichtung is locked up.”

 

“She’s a toddler, how are we supposed to keep her happy?” Pepper wondered out loud.

 

“Give her cookies and have a tea party? And keep Loki away from her.”Tony suggested.

 

“What are we doing about Loki?”

 

A sour look crossed Tony’s face.

 

“He swears he wasn’t in control during his failed invasion and we need him to turn her back so for now? Keeping a very very close eye on him. And I’m updating Friday’s privacy protocols, I can’t believe Thor just snuck a cat in here.”

 

There was a tugging at Tony’s sleeve and he looked down at you.

 

“Cookie?” You asked with an adorably hopeful look.

 

“At least we know she still has good hearing.” He chuckled.

 

“It’s dinner time, no cookies.” Pepper said sternly and your lip wobbled.

 

“One won’t hurt, it’s alright sweetheart, if you want a cookie you can have a cookie.” Tony assured you, picking you up and carrying you into the kitchen.

 

“Tony you can’t spoil her!” Pepper called after him.

 

“Sorry, what was that? I can’t hear you.” He called back.

 

Your giggling drifted back into her office and since nobody could see her, Pepper allowed herself to smile softly.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

One cookie turned into two, then three.

 

“You have an enhanced metabolism.” Tony reasoned out loud as he handed you a fourth.

 

“Thank you.” You said sweetly.

 

“Kit Kat, you know who I am right?” He asked.

 

“Dad.” You said, smiling brightly at him.

 

“And you know everybody else? Like the lady with the red hair?”

 

“Natassa.” You said as if it were obvious.

 

“Ok, what’s the last thing you remember before you were littler?”

 

You frowned, your little forehead crinkling up.

 

“Bad Kitty.” You said.

 

“What about this morning? Do you remember what happened?”

 

“Uhh bad Ross.” You said with an evil little smirk he recognised and Natasha’s.

 

He’d never noticed it on your adult face until he thought about it and realised you’d taken on Natasha as a role model.

 

Sam walked into the kitchen slowly, his eyes on you.

 

“Sammy!” You cried happily, crawling across the counter top towards him.

 

“So it’s true. I though Cap was pulling my leg.” Sam said shakily.

 

“Nope, my kid is an actual kid.” Tony said.

 

You made it to the edge of the counter and Tony and Sam both shot forward to grab you as you wiggled like you were going to pounce off it. Sam grabbed you first and held you at arms length as he gazed down at you.

 

“I was in a strip club with her a few hours ago.” Sam whispered, horrified.

 

“You were what?” Tony said, half impressed, half annoyed.

 

“She was an adult! It was Deadpool’s idea!” He defended himself.

 

“WADE!” You said excitedly.

 

“No!” Tony said.

 

“No!” Sam said at the same time.

 

You pouted.

 

“So what do we do with her?” Sam asked.

 

“What do you mean what do we do? She’s still my daughter, just a little more pocket sized. I’ll look after her like I always have, only difference is it’s a little easier now. And instead of Strip Clubs maybe just watch a Disney movie with her.” Tony said, taking you back from Sam.

 

“Man you are taking this way too calmly.”Sam noted.

 

“Children can pick up on your emotions and my girl is smarter than most. I have to stay calm.” Tony explained but Sam squinted at him suspiciously.

 

“You’re happy about this.” He stated.

 

“No.”

 

“It’s alright Stark. You can give her the world but you were never able to give her a normal childhood and that always bothered you. It’s not a bad thing.”

 

“Don’t do your therapist thing on me in front of the baby.” Tony admonished.

 

“Don’t hide behind her. You need to be honest with yourself here.” Sam pushed.

 

“No. Bad Sam.” You scolded him with a serious look on your little face.

 

“That’s absolutely right, Bad Sam.”Tony sniggered, loving your protective attitude of him.

 

“Traitor.” Sam said to you and you responded by sticking your tongue out at him.

 

“Man, she’s even sassy as a toddler. I’m not sure we can cope with this.” Sam bemoaned.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

“You have to eat something other than cookies. If I don’t give you dinner Pepper will kill me.” Tony pleaded.

 

There was a clattering noise from the kitchen and Steve poked his head in to see Tony frowning at the sandwich on the floor while you were looking the picture of innocence.

 

“oops” You said.

 

“Everything alright?” Steve asked.

 

“Cookie?” You asked Steve.

 

“Sure, you can have a cookie. If you eat your dinner.” He negotiated.

 

You scowled crossly at him.

 

He crossed his arms and stared you down.

 

“Cap, she’s a child not an enemy soldier.” Tony said, snapping his fingers between you to make you blink.

 

Neither you or Steve wavered. Tony sighed heavily and shoved the sandwich in the bin.

 

“Soup?” He offered.

 

No response. He glanced back at you to see you and Steve hadn’t moved.

 

“Alright, no soup. Mac and Cheese?” He suggested.

 

He noticed your eyes staring to water with the lack of blinking. You clenched you jaw and made a strangled huffing noise.

 

“I think that a yes on Mac and Cheese.” Steve said victoriously.

 

“Congrats Captain Babysitter, you won a staring contest with a toddler. As your reward, you can feed her.” Tony said, backing away.

 

“Tony...” Steve warned.

 

“Bye bye sweetie, daddy will come back after you eat.”Tony said, escaping quickly.

 

Steve sighed and turned back to you.

 

“Babydoll, do you know why Wade Wilson is texting me?” He asked faux casually as he started pouring pasta into a pot.

 

“Sam gave him your number. They getting married.”

 

“Beg your pardon?”

 

“Where’s Bucky?” You asked softly.

 

“Bucky is away on a very very important mission.” He lied.

 

You looked terrified and Steve realized that while adult you could rationalize that Bucky was able to look after himself, child you couldn’t and was now worried.

 

“Not a dangerous one! He’s gone to collect an important file from a very nice agent, that’s all. He’s gone to.... Australia. To get a file.” Steve said quickly.

 

“Liar.” You huffed.

 

He couldn’t even lie convincingly to a child.

 

“If you eat your dinner and go to bed I’m sure Bucky will come and see you in the morning.” Steve promised.

 

You looked up him hopefully and seemed to consider it for a moment before you nodded once, decisively.

 

Steve sighed in relief and hoped he could convince Bucky to talk to you.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

“No.”

 

“Bucky...”

 

“She’s a toddler Steve. The woman I love has been turned into a child by a Norse God who has been masquerading as a cat. It’s just too weird, I can’t be around her until she’s herself again.”

 

“She misses you Buck. She wouldn’t eat until I promised you’d talk to her tomorrow.”

 

“Just drop it Steve.”

 

“You’re being an idiot and you’re really hurting her feelings.” Steve said exasperatedly.

 

“She’s a toddler!” Bucky repeated.

 

“Yes, but it’s still her in there.”

 

“I’ll think about it.” Bucky huffed, hoping to just get Steve to shut up.

 

There was a battle cry from the hallway and a small commotion.

 

“Kit Kat it’s just a bath! Come back here. Pepper help!” They heard Tony yell.

 

Steve had a hard time keeping a straight face and coughed loudly into his fist.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

After you flooded the bathroom and Tony accidentally covered the room in foamy bubbles (to your delight) you were wrangled into an oversized Iron Man T-Shirt that was doubling as a nightie until the stuff Pepper had ordered for you arrived.

 

“I don’t wanna go to sleep.” You whispered as Tony tucked you in.

 

“Why not? Aren’t you tired?”

 

“I see the nasty me sometimes when I sleep.” You admitted.

 

“Kit Kat, she can’t hurt anybody. You know why? Because you’re strong and you keep us all safe. You’re a hero.”

 

“Like you?”

 

“Better.”

 

“But you’re the bestest super hero!”

 

Tony preened.

 

“Want me to tell you about the time Pepper was the biggest hero?”

 

You nodded enthusiastically and Tony stretched out next to you to get comfy while he told you a child friendly version of what happened with The Mandarin and Extremis. Not even halfway into the story you drifted off, curled into a little ball at his side.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

To absolutely nobody’s surprise Tony was a bit of a worrier. This was made evident when he came running into the lab with you at the crack of dawn.

 

“Banner, she’s sick!” He said worriedly.

 

“What happened?” Bruce asked calmly.

 

“She sneezed in her sleep.”

 

“She sneezed.”

 

“Yes. What if whatever Loki did is making her ill or it messed with her immune system?”

 

You blinked sleepily at Bruce and your head drooped down as you fell asleep again.

 

“Tony she’s fine. Friday is monitoring her vitals, you’d know if anything was wrong.”

 

“But she sneezed!”

 

“People sneeze Tony, it’s not a sign of impending doom. If she gets a temperature I’ll check. Put her back in her bed, she’s physically only about 2 or 3, she needs rest.”

 

“But what if...”

 

“Bed. Now.”

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

“She’s not coming today.” Storm said to Logan as he made his way to the front door to wait for you.

“Why?”

 

“Stark just called and cancelled. Seems they had some issues and she’s currently a toddler.”

 

Logan blinked.

 

“I’m gonna kill him.” He growled and stomped away.

 

“How did they turn her into a kid?” Rouge wondered.

 

“I didn’t ask, I didn’t want to know.” Storm admitted.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

Everybody liked to accuse Tony of spoiling you but when all the stuff Pepper had ordered arrived it was very clear he wasn’t the only one. You were currently tearing through the seven boxes of clothes.

 

“How long do you think she’s going to be like this?” Wanda asked with wry amusement.

 

“I just wanted to be prepared. Whatever she doesn’t use we can donate.” Pepper defended herself.

 

You were pulling shoes out of a box and handing them to Vision who had actually turned out to be great with you. You kicked your feet out and wiggled your toes at him until he knelt down and put the new light up sneakers on you.

 

“See, she’s fine. Just smaller.” They heard Tony insist.

 

Tony walked into the room gesturing at you. Logan stomped in and looked at you, his expression grumpy. You growled at him and he huffed in amusement.

 

“So now that’s sorted, you can leave now.” Tony said snippely.

 

“You haven’t explained a damn thing Stark. So Loki did this, what are you doing to fix it?” Logan snapped back.

 

Wanda edged over to you and distracted you by floating things in the air while the two men argued.

 

“Loki said he can change her back. In time.” Tony said vaguely.

 

“You had better be turning her back.” Logan snarled.

 

“Of course we are, not that it’s any of your business. “

 

“I left it alone because I thought she’d be better off but she _is_ my business. You're supposed to be looking after her, she’s supposed to be safe.”

 

“She’s a toddler not an idiot, keep it down.” Tony hissed.

 

Wanda and Vision were looking shocked and pretending not to look shocked and you were looking down at your shoes, intrigued by the lights. Tony breathed a sigh of relief.

 

“You can’t just waltz in and claim her like a piece of lost luggage.” Tony raged.

 

“The hell I can’t if you’re treating her like a dress up doll.” Logan snarled back.

 

“She’s MY child, she doesn’t want to be anybody else’s. She doesn’t want to look for her father, she doesn’t want to know him. She chose me because she knows I love her. I will find a way to turn her back and until then I’ll look after her. You wanna waltz over there and tell her you’re her dad? All you’ll do is confuse and hurt her and I’ll be the one who picks up the pieces because that’s what fathers do.” Tony whispered angrily.

 

“If you were such a great dad there wouldn’t be so many pieces to pick up all the damn time.” Logan said with a shrug.

 

“Dad?” You said angrily.

 

“Yes sweetheart?” Tony said, turning to you.

 

“Why are you arguing with him?” You asked.

 

“Your _teacher_ and I were disagreeing about something insignificant. It’s ok.” Tony informed you.

 

“I don’t like him, he makes my nose itch.” You said matter of factly and Tony didn’t bother hiding his smug look.

 

“Well then, he should probably leave.” Tony said victoriously.

 

“This aint over tin can.” Logan snarled and stormed away.

 

“Can I have a cookie now?” You asked with a grin.

 

“You can have all the cookies you want Kit Kat.”

 

“One, she can have one... oh why do I bother?” Pepper said to herself apparently as Tony scooped you up and carried you away.

 

“Kit Kat?!!?”

 

Natasha looked up at the sound of Tony’s worried voice and smirked. She silently walked into the kitchen and watched you pull out the drawers so you could use them to climb onto the worktop and rummage through the cupboards.

 

“Sam’s Oreo stash is in the next cupboard over.” She whispered.

 

You looked over your shoulder at her and shuffled across the worktop, finding the cookies exactly where she said they would be.

 

“Want one?” You offered her.

 

“Friday, inform Stark she’s with me and I’ll give her back in a little while.”

 

“Of course.” Friday said with obvious amusement.

 

“Come on little Kotoynok.” Natasha said, picking you and the cookies up and carrying you away.

 

She took you up to the roof where you could eat Sam’s cookies in peace.

 

“Are you in there?” She asked you curiously.

 

You cocked your head at her in confusion and paused with a cookie halfway to your mouth and she chuckled.

 

“Yes, that’s definitely you.” You said and swiped the cookie off you.

 

“Rude.” You huffed.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

“Stark, you can stop fretting. Here’s your baby back.” Natasha said with a smirk as you ran into the lab ahead of her and launched yourself at Dum-E.

 

“Dum-E, careful! She’s the same size as you now so no prodding her or I’ll turn you into a garbage disposal.” Tony warned.

 

You made an affronted noise and stood protectively in front of the robot.

 

“I’m joking, I wouldn’t.” Tony swore, making a throat slashing motion at Dum-E as soon as your back was turned.

 

“Hey Stark, can I borrow your kid? I wanna go to Toys-R-Us.” Clint asked as he sauntered in.

 

“No, we can’t take her out of the compound. It’s too dangerous.” Tony insisted.

 

“Nobody outside of The Avengers knows she’s been shrunk, she’s probably the safest she’s ever been.” Clint pointed out.

 

“He’s got a point and it will be good for her.” Bruce added from somewhere in the back of the lab.

 

“I wanna go!” You insisted.

 

Tony thought it over.

 

“Fine but we’re taking..”

 

“Stop, it’ll be blatantly obvious if you come with.” Clint interrupted him.

 

“Fine. Take my child away. But you’re taking Capsicle and the other birdbrain.” Tony snapped huffily.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

Steve, Sam and Clint were having more fun than you were and that was saying something as you were running about joyfully, grabbing Lego sets and Barbie dolls excitedly. They were not trying to calm you down in the slightest, pushing different toys at you and throwing them into the basket everytime your eyes lit up.

 

“What if, and hear me out, we didn’t let Loki turn her back?” Sam suggested as you ran around the Avengers toys, zooming a falcon figurine around.

 

“Sam!” Steve squawked indignantly.

 

“It’s just an idea. She’s having so much fun like this. Would it really be the worst thing in the world if she got a second chance at a childhood?” Sam asked.

 

“You know Tony’s thinking it as well.” Clint pointed out.

 

“Can I have this?” You asked in a small voice, something tucked into your arms.

 

“Sure.” Clint said.

 

“Of course you can.” Sam said brightly.

 

“Guys, we don’t know what it is. What is it?” Steve asked you and you shyly showed him.

 

It was a modernised version of the old bears they had made in the 40’s.

 

“She wants a Bucky Bear. We can’t leave her this way.” Steve said to them.

 

“Come on sweetheart, let’s get you that bear.” Clint said, swinging you onto his shoulders and hurrying you away from Sam and Steve.

 

“Don’t Sam. She’s a grown-up, we can’t just leave her this way. She has a whole life to get back to.” Steve said.

 

“I know man, I know.” Sam said wearily.

 

“But?”

 

“She never got to be a kid. Seeing her like this, I feel bad for her and I can’t help wondering if she’d be happier if we left it.” Sam told him.

 

“She wouldn’t be happier. She’d lose everything she has fought for. We can’t do that to her. I get why it’s tempting though, I do.” Steve admitted.

 

Seeing you so carefree and innocent just highlighted the fact that you had never really had this and Steve really did understand why Sam was even considering it but he knew that you wouldn’t thank them for doing it.

 

“Let’s just help her enjoy it while it lasts.” Steve suggested.

“Well in that case we’re going to Burger King.” Sam said.

 

“McDonalds.” Steve argued.

 

“Nuh uh man. Burger King.”

 

In the end the choice was left up to you and they ended up in a small retro diner in Brooklyn.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

Bucky turned the corner at the front of the compound and turned straight back around but it was too late.

 

“Bucky!” You threw yourself off of Clint’s shoulders much to the terror of the three men with you.

 

You landed easily on the ground and immediately shot away, leaving them gaping after you.

 

Bucky ground his teeth together as you pelted towards him but forced himself not to move as you wrapped yourself around his leg.

 

“Hi.” You whispered, blinking up at him.

 

“Hi.” He said back.

 

You stared at each other for a few seconds and he knew you could sense his unease when your bottome lip started wobbling. He sighed heavily, running his fingers through his hair and crouched down so he was on your level.

 

“Why do you hate me?” You asked tearily.

 

“I don’t. I really don’t, I promise. This is just strange for me, can you understand that?” He asked.

 

“No.” You said honestly and he bit his lip to stop the snort of surprised laughter.

 

“Doll, yesterday you were in your 20’s and today you’re a kid. It’s weird for me to see you this way.” He admitted.

 

“So you don’t love me no more?”

 

“I’ll always love you and when you’re you again I’ll be right here waiting for you.” He swore.

 

“Ok.” You sniffed.

 

“Ok, now go back to Steve before he freaks out.” Bucky told you.

 

You nodded but it was subdued and you still looked sad. Bucky sighed heavily and pushed his issues aside to press a kiss to the top of your head.

 

“Go on, I’ll see you later.”

 

You looked a bit happier as you ran off and Bucky went back to his mental preparations for killing a Norse God.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

That night, after another disastrous bath you slipped out of Tony’s grasp and bolted back to the common room with your Bucky Bear clutched tightly in your arms. Most of the team was gathered there watching a horror movie that Wanda paused as soon as you burst in.

 

“She wanted to say goodnight.” Tony said, out of breath as he ran in after you.

 

You climbed onto the sofa and snuggled straight into Vision who you’d taken to more as a child. He looked perplexed before Wanda made a hugging motion with her arms and gave him a pointed look and he copied her.

 

“Goodnight Miss Stark.” He said politely.

“Night Vision.” You said back, holding out Bucky Bear.

 

Vision got the gist without Wanda’s help this time and hugged the bear.

 

“Goodnight Bucky Bear.” He said, equally as polite to the bear as he was to you.

 

Wanda was next and she smoothed your hair affectionately as she hugged you, making sure to include Bucky bear in her embrace.

 

“Goodnight Sestra. Goodnight Bucky Bear.”

 

“Goodnight Wanda.”

 

Natasha’s arms were wide and waiting as you burrowed into her embrace.

 

“Night Tasha.” You said.

 

“Good night Kotoynok, goodnight Bucky Bear.”

 

“I am not hugging that thing.” Sam protested and everyone shot a glare at him.

 

“If I have to be nice to it so do you.” Tony told him.

 

Sam rolled his eyes and gave the bear a fistbump which thankfully was good enough for you as you gave him a sloppy kiss on the cheek.

 

“Night Sammy.”

 

Clint grabbed the bear and crushed it to his chest enthusiastically and was rewarded with a delighted giggle from you.

 

“Night kiddo.” He said, smacking a noisy kiss to your head.

 

“Little one.” Thor said softly, looking at you hopefully.

 

“Where the cat?” You huffed.

 

“Not here.” He assured you and your frown smoothed out and you climbed onto Thor’s lap.

 

Thor hugged you gratefully and made sure he hugged your bear as well.

 

“Alright Kit Kat, you can see everyone else tomorrow. Time for bed.” Tony instructed.

 

“Night!” You called, waving as you skipped away.

 

Tony walked you back to your room and tucked you under the covers and kissing your forehead, rolling his eyes when you held out the Bucky Bear. He obliged you and with a scowl he quickly pecked it on the head as well. You grinned evilly.

 

“I knew you liked Bucky.” You cackled.

 

“You little...” He bit his tongue.

You giggled to yourself as you snuggled down and yawned.

 

“Dad?” You asked sleepily.

 

“What is is sweetheart?”

 

“Do you want me to change back?” You asked.

 

“I want you to be yourself. I want what’s best for you.” He admitted.

 

“That’s why I’m glad you’re my dad and not Logan.” You told him.

 

He froze.

 

“You heard us?”

 

His only answer was a soft snore.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

The moonlight cast a silvery illumination across the room as you slept soundly, unaware of the God Of Mischief watching you.

 

“I hope you found this experience enlightening, I’m sure you’ll tell me all about it in your next appointment.” He said with his signature grin as you glowed a soft green.

 

When you had blackmailed Thor into accompanying you somewhere it had been too easy to impersonate this Doctor Leonard Samson. It had been easy mischief, born of curiosity. You’d never know and you didn’t have to.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

Bucky was woken up by a frantic knocking on his door and when he opened it you all but tumbled through it. You. Adult you.

 

“You’re back.” He said breathily, clutching your arms to make sure you were real.

 

“I’m back.” You confirmed.

 

He pulled you into his arms and rested his forehead against yours in the early morning light and calmly stood there with you, drinking in your presence, relived to have you back and feeling like the world was as it should be again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM ONE MONTH OLD! It has been exactly four weeks since this fic began so HAPPY BIRTHDAY US! 
> 
> I can't begin to thank everybody has read, liked, reblogged, commented or given Kudo's. For somebody who struggles every day to find reasons to be happy this fic and the responses to it has been the best thing to ever happen to me. To know that people actually like this has given me such a massive burst of confidence and makes my days easier to get through, I'm a lot happier than I was a month ago because I feel like I have a purpose now. 
> 
> I hope you like this chapter and the one's to follow.


	40. Growth

“What do you remember about the last couple of days?” Bucky asked you quietly.

 

“It’s all fuzzy, like it really happened when I was a kid. I can remember pieces. I remember there being lots of bubbles in the bathroom and my dad laughing so hard he had tears in his eyes, I remember Sam wearing a tiara and drinking fake tea from a teacup and Wanda and Vision taking me for a walk. I remember feelings more than actual events I think.”

 

“I know it was barely two days but it felt like a whole childhood. There was so much love. Everyone made it so special.” You said, your eyes shining.

 

“Except me. I avoided you.”

 

His face was heavy with guilt and you didn’t have the words to make it better so you stood on your tiptoes and gently kissed him. He didn’t respond straight away but finally his lips parted slightly as they moved in sync with yours.

 

“James you’re allowed to be weirded out by seeing me running about as a toddler. It’s not a failure, you didn’t let me down. Besides, I replaced you pretty easily.” You told him, mischief dancing in your eyes.

 

“You did what?” He growled.

 

“Didn’t you hear about Bucky Bear? I’m definitely keeping him.”

 

“You didn’t.” He groaned.

 

“Everyone loves Bucky Bear.” You laughed.

 

“I don’t.”

 

“That might be a problem.” You admitted.

 

“Doll you have the real thing, you don’t need a bear.” He said, wrapping his arms around you to illustrate his point.

 

“But I love him!” You protested.

 

He released you and pushed you away with a scowl and you laughed loudly at his reaction.

 

“I love you more.” You promised.

 

“Hmmph” Was the only response.

 

“Alright, I’m going to go see everybody else. Let them know I can legally drink again.” You said, still laughing.

 

“Wait.” He asked and you paused at the door.

 

“I love you too. And I’m tired of something getting in our way when we’ve barely started. Run away with me for the weekend.”He asked.

 

Your jaw dropped.

 

“I know a place where we...”

 

“Yes.” You interrupted.

 

“Really?” He looked as close to deliriously happy as Bucky ever did, it was all in the eyes.

 

“Really.”

 

He smiled so brightly then that you couldn’t breathe at the beauty of it and just surged forward to wrap your arms around him and let him kiss you until you couldn’t think. It wasn’t until you heard Tony yelling from your room in a panic you pulled away.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

When you had reappeared as your adult self your dad had hidden the flash of disappointment on his face behind a grin and dragged you to the lab.

 

“Bruce!” He called.

 

“Tony if she sneezed again I swear... Oh.” Bruce was startled to see you waving sheepishly at him.

 

He shook off his startlement and hustled over to you, and in his eagerness to make sure you were ok practically ended up making you deep throat a thermometer.

 

“This is fascinating. To have the chance to study the effects of rapid de and re aging on a human.” He said to himself as you gagged.

 

Tony was hovering like the overly concerned parent he was. Bruce rolled his eyes at you and you stiffled a snort of laughter.

 

“Is she ok? Do you feel ok? Does anything hurt?” Tony asked.

 

“I’m ok, I feel fine, nothing hurts. I actually feel really good.” You assured him.

 

“I’d like to run some basic tests, just to be sure.” Bruce told you and you nodded your assent.

 

“Go for it Dr Banner.”

 

“Are you hungry? Shall I get you some breakfast?” Tony asked, already heading for the door.

 

“I’m not a toddler I can get my own... actually yeah, can I have coco pops?” You responded as he strode away and he shot you a thumbs up.

 

“Don’t start.” You murmered at Bruce who was giving you a look of wry amusement.

 

“Before Tony comes back, do you want me to give you a booster shot on your contraceptive? Just in case?” Banner asked you subtly.

 

You nodded meekly.

 

“Can I take some blood?” He asked.

“Banner, I trust you. You are the only scientist in the world I will ever let study me, you don’t have to keep asking. Just tell me what you need.” You reassured him with a kind smile.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

“You’re back!” Sam crowed, picking you up and spinning you around.

 

“Aww, I’m going to miss having little you around.” Clint pouted.

 

“Clint I’ll still come with you to toy stores. And I’m keeping the lego sets you bought me.” You told him.

 

“So you remember everything?” Natasha asked.

 

“Not everything. It’s all childhood memories to me, I remember stuff but not it all and it’s fuzzy.” You admitted.

 

“Ok, so what do you remember?” Wanda pushed.

 

“Stop fishing guys.” You sighed and they looked at each other.

 

“I know you’re all soft, I know you all adore me and I know that Friday has all the proof.” You said smugly.

 

“Well now that you’re back, we need to decide what to do about Loki.”

 

“Little one, I can not apologise enough for my brothers actions but I swear he did not mean to harm you.” Thor said, his eyes imploring you to forgive them.

 

“I’m not mad. Not anymore. As far as I’m concerned it was just a really good prank.” You admitted.

 

That announcement didn’t go down well with anyone.

 

“He’s still evil.” Tony insisted.

 

“Is he though? He had the power to turn me into a child, he could have done something much worse. I think the fact that he didn’t turn me into a slug and squish me kind of proves he’s not evil. He’s just a dick.” You scoffed.

 

Thor sidled over to stand beside you since you were the only one on his side.

 

“It doesn’t change what he’s done in the past.” Clint argued.

 

“He could be telling the truth about that not being his choice. And think about it, he deliberately and carefully pissed off The Avengers. He masterminded his own defeat.” Sam jumped in.

 

“You weren’t even there.” Tony snapped.

 

“I’m not suggesting we welcome him with open arms, but we have to at least consider the fact he might not be evil. Put him on probation. I’m sure Strange can cook some way of keeping an eye on Loki up.” Sam rebutted.

 

“Dad I know you hate him but he wouldn’t be the only person in this room to get a second chance.” You pleaded.

 

“Really? Do you have a thing for reforming killers? Should I be expecting you to fall in love with Loki next?” Tony scoffed.

 

“No, I still think he’s an asshole and I fully plan on pushing him down the stairs but he is Thor’s brother, I think we owe it to Thor to try and Loki deserves a chance to show us who he really is. If he screws up then we... I don’t know how you kill a god, fire him at the sun?”

 

“I trust your judgement.” Sam said, agreeing with you and coming to stand with you and Thor and you felt Bucky move to stand behind you, silently making his allegiance known.

 

“I was given a chance to do right after I had done so much wrong. I support them as well.” Wanda said, joining your side.

 

It was you, Thor, Sam, Bucky and Wanda vs Clint, Natasha, Steve, Bruce and Tony.

 

Vision seemed unsure.

 

“Logically it is unlikely this situation will end well.”He stated.

 

“They’re right. Loki might be as evil as we think but he might not. We should be careful but give him a chance.” Bruce sighed heavily and shuffled over to you with an apologetic look at Tony.

 

“This isn’t a democracy and even if it was, not everyone is here.” Tony sputtered.

 

“Spiderman’s with me.” You said, holding your phone as you shot off a text.

 

Tony glared at you.

 

“Lang will be with us.” Clint insisted.

 

“Nu uh.” You rebutted.

 

“Enough.” Steve said calmly.

 

You all turned to look at him.

 

“Loki can’t be allowed to walk away from everything he has done. People died, good people. But... If there’s a chance he was a victim in that situation it would be unfair and hypocritical of us to punish him.” The Captain decided.

 

“So what do we do Cap?” You asked.

 

“He can stay IF he agrees to our terms. We’ll have Strange help us with a way to moniter Loki’s use of magic while he’s on a probationary period. And nobody outside of this team can know about this.”

 

“I agree to your terms.”

 

There were a few unhero like shrieks of surprise (from you) as Loki appeared in the middle of the room.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

You were sat on your bed flipping through the photo’s the team and Friday had sent you. Your day of childhood was well documented.

 

“Friday. Can you have these printed out for me?”

 

“Of course Miss Stark.” She answered.

 

You stopped on a photo of you squished between Tony and Pepper, all of you mid laugh. Absentmindedly you toyed with your locket, the one Pepper had given you on your birthday and you hadn’t taken off since.

 

You finally worked up the courage to do something you should have done a while ago and opened Pepper’s contact info on your phone, deleting her name and replacing it. She was no longer ‘Pepper Potts’ in your phone or your heart. She was ‘mom’.

 

“Kit Kat, can we talk?” Tony asked you, knocking and poking his head through your bedroom door.

 

“I’m sorry we were on opposite sides of the argument _again_ but you were the one who gave me a chance at life. I can’t deny that to somebody else if there’s even the smallest chance they are innocent.” You told him.

 

He came and sat on the end of your bed.

 

“I know, I’m not mad. I let Barnes in, I can let Loki in. That’s not what I wanted to talk about.”

 

“Oh, Is this about the accords?”

 

“No.”

 

“Bucky?”

 

“No.”

 

“Deadpool?” You were running out of guesses.

 

“Kit Kit I know who your biological father is. I didn’t try to find out, I swear. I just sort of stumbled across the information.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“I don’t want to lie to you. If you want to know, I’ll tell you. If you don’t, I’ll forget what I know and never bring it up again. Either way, I’m still your dad. No matter what you do or don’t sign or how many psychopath's you adopt.” He told you.

 

You bit your lip as you tried to stop your eyes from watering.

 

“Kit Kat I love you, I do. I always will. It doesn’t matter if you’re a child or an adult, you’re my child.”

 

You gave up on trying to be strong and tucked yourself into his side, letting the tears fall.

 

“Do you want to know who he is?” Tony whispered.

 

This was a huge decision and you couldn’t help but feel it would change everything no matter what you did. But you had Tony, you had a dad. Did you really need to know? Did you want to?

 

You opened your mouth and answered with one word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Even I'm annoyed at that cliffhanger and I wrote it....


	41. Mischief Managed

You had made a deal with Sam Wilson and it was time to pay up.

 

“Mind if I join you guys?” You asked as you sauntered over to them.

 

Bucky and Steve blinked at you in surprise and Sam smirked.

 

“Sure Doll.” Bucky said, shrugging off his confusion and kissing you while Sam made gagging noises.

 

Bucky flipped him off without breaking the kiss.

 

“Not that we aren’t happy to have you but you hate running. And being up early.” Steve pointed out.

 

“Leave her alone.” Sam and Bucky said together.

 

“Maybe I just want to spend time with my three favourite guys?” You said with a grin.

 

There was a muffled noise of outrage from the vents.

 

“Other than Clint of course...” You added.

 

“Alright alright. You might wanna stretch first though.” Steve surrendered.

 

“I’ll help you sweetheart.” Bucky said with a lascivious smirk.

 

“I’ve got her.” Sam said, pushing Bucky out of the way with a disgusted frown.

 

They started bickering amongst themselves and failed to notice you telling Steve you’d already stretched and jogging away with the blonde super soldier.

 

Quarter of a mile later they caught up, Bucky at a jog and Sam at a run.

 

“I’m gonna hang back with Sam, you two go on ahead.” You told them and Steve looked relieved as the two centurions picked up the pace.

 

“Wait for it...” Sam muttered angrily.

 

Less than ten minutes later you heard the pounding footsteps.

 

“On your left.”

 

“On your right.”

 

“Assholes.” Sam snapped as they overtook you.

 

You and Sam made it into the woodlands and you slowed down a notch, shaking your head at Sam when he shot you a questioning look. You didn’t want to explain your plan. The one you had carefully thought out and that relied on perfect timing.

 

The lake came into view just before your hearing picked up on the sounds of two sets of footsteps running towards you. You bit down a smirk and ignored the nervous butterflies in your stomach.

 

“On your left.”

 

“On your... **Splash**”

 

At the perfectly timed second you had thrown your body to the right and collided with Bucky, knocking him into the freezing cold water.

 

Sam fell to his knees, tears pouring down his face and Steve hollered loudly with laughter, scaring a flock of birds as Bucky burst back through the surface of the water, spluttering.

 

“On your left my love.” You said, winking at the furious, soaking wet assassin.

 

Bucky looked so angry you were surprised there wasn’t steam rising off the water. He also looked hilarious so it was hard to take him seriously.

 

“You are going to pay for that.” He threatened you, walking out of the water.

 

“See, you’d have to catch me first.” You quipped, jogging backwards.

 

Bucky snarled, too angry for words as he surged forwards and you turned and broke into a sprint.

 

“STEVE!” Bucky roared and you heard the still laughing Captain break into a run.

 

The two Super Soldiers sprinted after you but you weren’t worried, they were bigger, stronger, older and more experienced but you were faster and you knew it.

 

You had fun with it, letting them draw closer and almost reaching for you before you actually put any effort in and easily pulled ahead of them with a mocking laugh. You ran the trail, passing Sam who was still on the ground clutching his ribs and waving jovially at him.

 

You ran four more laps before you started to slow down.

 

“THAT THE BEST YOU CAN DO GENTLEMEN?” You called loudly, covering the sound of an arrow shooting across the ground behind you.

 

You stood on the path with your hands on your hips, taunting them as they ran towards you.

 

“Let’s kick it up a notch.” You called before running away.

 

Right on cue you heard them pick up the pace before there were two loud thumps and a symphony of curse words. You turned round to see them both on the ground, eating dirt. So consumed with the chase, neither of them had seen the wire strung across the path attached to the arrow Clint had shot and had tripped over it like you had planned.

 

You shot a grateful wink at the trees where Clint was hidden and ran off, laughing loudly. As soon as the video Clint was taking was uploaded to YouTube you would have paid off your debt to Sam.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

When you sauntered back into the lobby of the compound victoriously you headed straight for the elevator, determined to get back to your room before an angry super soldier got a hold of you. The elevator was empty but as the doors whooshed closed the hairs on the back of your neck prickled.

There was a slow clap and you whirled round and hissed at Loki who was standing in the corner looking smug.

 

“Why you you keep sneaking up on me?” You howled angrily.

 

“I shouldn’t be able to, you have enhanced senses. Perhaps you should stop letting your guard down?” He suggested indifferently.

 

“You sound like Logan.” You huffed, crossing your arms and ignoring him.

 

“That was an impressive display in the woods.” The trickster congratulated you.

 

“Listen here Lokitty just because I didn’t push for your execution it doesn’t make us friends.” You snapped.

 

“Are you still angry about my turning you into a child? What if I were to make amends?” He purred in your ear.

 

You tried to resist, you really did. No good would come from an alliance with the God of Lies but...

 

“I’m listening.”

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

“Whatcha doing?” Sam asked.

 

“Baking cookies for the X-Men since I missed my lesson yesterday.”

 

“Can I have one?”

 

“No, X-men cookies, not Avengers cookies.” You snapped territoriality, sliding the tray out of reach.

 

“How about cookies for your friends who deserve them after you made a fool of them?” Steve asked, peering into the kitchen.

 

“Nope.” You said firmly.

 

“I smell cookies.” You heard Bucky say from the hallway.

 

You smirked, Loki was making sure the smell was reaching all over the compound and sure enough people started drifting towards the Kitchen.

 

“Please?” Clint pouted at you.

 

“No, these aren’t for you. Get your own.” You hissed.

 

The smell paired with your refusal to share was making the baked goods irresistible to everyone. Natasha narrowed her eyes at you and advanced.

 

“No!” You told her, backing away with the cookies held protectively against your chest.

 

“Come on Kotoynok, give us the cookies and nobody gets hurt.” She told you, her voice dangerously low.

 

You swallowed nervously.

 

“Kit Kat I need to talk to you. Oh cookies, can I have one?” Tony asked, sauntering into the kitchen.

 

“One.” You told him, handing it over.

 

Everybody protested and Tony grinned smugly at them as he bit into it.

 

“Sooooo good.” He moaned and everyone shot you pleading looks.

 

“I’m serious guys, you can’t have them. I need to do something nice for Xavier and his people, they’ve been really nice to me.” You warned as you put the tray of cookies in the fridge.

 

You shot one last warning look at them before you followed Tony out of the room. You followed him down the hall and were quite a bit away from the kitchen before Loki dropped the illusion.

 

“I warned Thor not to partake as you requested.” He said, rolling his eyes.

 

“You had better have. I told him he was the only one who wasn’t going to be punished for the whole ‘capture the cat’ debacle. If you didn’t tell him and he eats one... Well that’s on you not me.” You said with a smirk.

 

Loki gave you an appraising look before a nod of approval.

 

“I caused a minor explosion in your fathers lab, the smell of smoke will mask the smell of the cookies and he should be occupied for a while.”

 

“How long will it take to kick in?” You asked him.

 

“Not long at all, presuming they are eating them now.” He informed you.

 

“Oh they definitely are. They have a serious rivalry with the X-Men.” You chuckled.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

The Avengers were wiping away the crumbs to destroy the evidence when the doors and windows all closed off their own accords and everyone was immediately on alert.

 

“What’s going on?” Sam asked, looking around.

 

“We’re locked in.” Steve said with a frown as he tried to open the door.

 

There was a sinister cackling laughter.

 

“What the hell? Are we under attack?”

 

“Nope... You’re being punished for eating my cookies.” Your voice informed them through the speaker system.

 

“Very funny. Friday open the doors.” Steve demanded.

 

“I’m afraid I can’t Captain Rogers. Security protocols 12 have been initiated.” The AI informed him cooly.

 

“Override.” Steve snapped.

 

“You do not have the clearance to execute that demand.”

 

“I don’t have.... who does?” He groaned.

 

“Only Mr Stark or his daughter have that authority.”

 

“Once again proving, it’s not what you know... It’s who adopted you. That’s right Cap, I have higher clearance than you.” You laughed.

 

“Of course you do, Tony thinks you’re the best thing in the world, he’d give you whatever you wanted.” Steve grumbled.

 

“Sheesh Steve, are you really that annoyed?” You asked.

 

“Of course I am, I’m the Captain and you have good intentions but you’re too much of an idiot to be trusted with that much power.” He said.

 

“Ouch. Tell me how you really feel.” You sniggered.

 

“I worry you’re too impulsive and while I know it’s hypocritical of me it’s easier to worry about you than admit I don’t always know what I’m doing.” He said.

 

He turned bright red as everyone stared at him in shock and amusement.

 

“You were right, they ate the cookies.” Loki’s voice joined yours.

 

Everyone promptly looked around in horror.

 

“What’s going on?” Sam whispered fearfully.

 

“Well to sum it up for you Sammy, you all just ate a bunch of poisoned cookies and now you are compelled to be brutally honest. And you’re locked in there until I feel you’ve been humiliated enough.” You informed him.

 

“Doll if you don’t open this door right now I am going to have to try and punish you later though we both know I’ll fold as soon as you give me those doe eyes.” Bucky warned.

 

“I have no problem punishing her even if I do have a soft spot for her and my punishment won’t be as severe as I say it will.” Natasha added.

 

You sniggered to yourself. This was going to be fun.......

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahaha how do you think this is going to play out??


	42. The Truth Hurts

“You got truth cookies from the God of lies?”Clint whined.

 

“It’s called poetic irony.” You sniggered.

 

“I am terrified right now but I’m also kind of proud and impressed.” Sam admitted.

 

“Here are the rules of the game, you tell me something you don’t wanna tell me and you get the andtidote.” You informed them.

 

Clint, Natasha, Bucky, Steve, Sam, Thor, Wanda and Vision all looked very very nervous as you watched them through the screen and it was incredibly satisfying.

 

“So, anyone want to tell me anything?” You asked sinisterly.

 

Wanda slapped her hands over her mouth and you laughed.

 

“I’m afraid that will not save you.” Loki informed her.

 

“How about you Sam? How about you tell me how you really feel about me dating Bucky?” You probed.

 

“I think you’re good for each other and I like that Barnes knows how I feel now that he has to compete with me for your time the way I do with him for Steve’s. I know I’m your best friend you’ll always have time for me but I like teasing him and I know he’ll always look after you because he’s a good man.” Sam blurted.

 

“Awwwww” You cooed.

 

“I’m furious that I just admitted that.” Sam bemoaned.

 

“Ok, Sam passed.” You smirked.

 

“I am not afraid, I have nothing to hide. I am grateful to have Loki back in my life and grateful you all have given him a second chance.” Thor said with a happy grin.

 

“Sentimental oaf.” Loki muttered but you did notice the slight pink tinge on his cheeks.

 

“I would like to point out that as I am a synthetic being I do not believe this potion has had any effect on me.” Vision informed everybody.

 

“Try telling a lie.” Wanda suggested.

 

“I am bright pink right now.” He said and everybody sulked at his successful lie.

 

“Whatever, Vision wouldn’t have had anything juicy to admit anyway.” You said with a small pout.

 

“Vision and I both know who your biological father is.” Wand said and covered her mouth again in horror.

 

You gulped nervously.

 

“I’m incredibly annoyed that you know that and I don’t.” Natasha snapped.

 

“Wanda’s out. Someone else go!” You said quickly.

 

“I’m very disappointed in you.” Steve said.

 

“Well nobody needed to give you truth serum to figure that out.” Sam snapped.

 

“I’m not disappointed, I’m mad but her devious side is really hot.” Bucky said.

 

“Not at all a shocking announcement Barnes.” Natasha quipped.

 

“Yeah this is coming from the guy who fucked her on the gym mats after she headbutted him.” Clint snorted.

 

“What?!” Sam shrieked.

 

“Wait, I don’t think I thought this through.” You admitted to Loki, covering the mic.

 

“What a surprise. Don’t worry, this will hurt them more than it hurts you.” Loki assured you with a very unreassuring smirk.

 

“Oh please, she drugged him and he practically wanted to propose.” Steve added.

 

“Getting off track here folks.” You told them.

 

“Oh are we Kotoynok? Because I think there are a few truths you don’t want to be spoken. Like how you ran into Barnes one night stand in the elevator and found out he’d said your name instead of hers and decided to use it against him.” Natasha said with a savage grin.

 

“You what?” Bucky huffed, looking hurt.

 

“Barnes did what now?” Sam asked looking amused as hell.

 

“Is that why you suddenly started flirting with me, dating Steve and wearing all that tight clothing?” Bucky asked.

 

“No sweetie, of course not.” You soothed him.

 

“OK good because I still wonder if you really love me or if deep down you know I’m not good enough for you but I’m too in love with you to let it stop me. I know this is too good to be true and I’m going to get my heart broken but I’d rather have my heart broken by you than turn away from you.” He said.

 

His confession was met with silence. His face was burning in embarrassment as he waited for you to say something but you didn’t.

 

“Doll?”

 

Nothing. You didn’t answer and his stomach twisted.

 

The doors opened and you stepped through them. You refused to meet his eye or anyone else’s as you walked past them all and picked up a cookie and steeled yourself. Biting the bullet, or the cookie in this case you shoved it into your mouth and swallowed it before you turned back to them.

 

“James Buchanan Barnes I love you more than I have ever loved anyone and sometimes I think that if I could go back and change the awful things that happened to me I wouldn’t risk it in case it meant I never got to meet you. I’m awful and I don’t deserve you but I want you so much it actually hurts and being with you is more important than anything else. I would rather die than break your heart.”

 

All the sadness and apprehension in Bucky’s face was wiped away in a single instant and it was like he was lit up from within as he strode across the room towards you.

 

“I’ve been lying to you to all of you though and I don’t deserve your love. I don’t deserve any of you.” You blurted out before he could reach you and he faltered.

 

“Kotoynok there’s nothing you could do I wouldn’t forgive.” Natasha said immediately.

 

“You’re overly dramatic so whatever it is I don’t think it’s going to be that bad.” Steve said.

 

“I’m with Steve, you’re a damn Drama Queen and an adorable idiot but you couldn’t hurt anybody here with anything you have to say.” Clint agreed.

 

“You’re my best friend and I would do anything for my friends, plus I trust that you’re a good person.” Sam added.

 

“I have forgiven for Loki for so much, I am inclined to forgive those I care about for terrible transgressions.” Thor announced.

 

“I didn’t want to make you feel bad by telling you I knew but I figured it out when you did and I never thought any less of you.” Wanda admitted.

 

You tried to stop yourself but as soon as you’d bit into the cookie you’d given up control of your mouth and the words poured out of you.

 

“Vernichtung isn’t a malevolent force trying to take over me, I created it because deep down I want to give into the darkness and do what I was born to do. I want to destroy the world and I hated myself for that so much that I buried it and created a second personality, a shadow self to absolve myself of the guilt.”

 

You hung your head in shame but you didn’t have to look to see the shift in the room. You felt Bucky take a step back from you. You peered up at him and saw the shock on his face.

 

“I was afraid you’d reject me but I desperately hoped you wouldn’t.” You chocked out through a sob and covered your mouth, fleeing from the room without looking back.

 

You ran all the way to Tony’s lab and burst in. He looked up in alarm that didn’t fade when he took in your state. You flung yourself at him and he caught you, wrapping his arms around you.

 

“What’s wrong?” He asked frantically.

 

“I told everyone the truth about Vernichtung and Bucky rejected me.” You sobbed.

 

You felt him stiffen under you and he wrenched you off of him.

 

“Where is he?” Tony asked.

 

“Don’t hurt him, I love him so much and if you do it’ll destroy me.” You told him.

 

Tony clenched his jaw and forced himself to calm down, pulling you into his embrace again.

 

“I love you but I lied when I told you I didn’t want to know who my father was. I want to know but I’m so scared of what I might find when you tell me.” You said through your tears.

 

“Kit Kat it doesn’t matter, you don’t have to do anything.” He soothed.

 

“I want to know, I want to you just tell me but I’m afraid to ask out loud.”

 

Tony sighed heavily and crushed you in his hug before he told you what the truth serum had forced you to admit you wanted to know.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

“Where is she?” Bucky asked frantically as he burst into the lab.

 

“Gone.” Tony told him flatly.

 

“I didn’t mean to reject her, I was just shocked. I don’t care that it’s her. I don’t care about any of it. I know who she is and I love her.”

 

“Too little too late.” Tony snarled.

 

“She and Loki doused us all with a truth potion and it backfired so she took it as well. I was taken aback by what she said Stark because I know I’m a mess and I was scared I would be the worst thing for her. But I love her and I would do anything for her.” Bucky pleaded.

 

“Fuck. A fucking truth potion?” Tony said, shooting to his feet.

 

“Yes.”

 

“Oh shit.”

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

“Logan I believe you should go outside. Miss Stark is currently driving up the driveway.” The Professor said with urgency.

 

Logan hurried to the front door in time to see you pull up, screeching to a halt and practically falling out of the car.

 

Your eyes were bloodshot and wet and your looked frantic as you rushed towards him, stopping a few feet away.

 

“How could you?” You demanded.

 

“So you know then.”

 

“You knew all along! Why the hell didn’t you tell me? How could you not?” You practically screamed.

 

“Wasn’t my place princess.” He said gruffly.

 

“No, no you don’t get to put that on Tony you fucking coward!”

 

“He’s your father, I’m just some guy who knew your mother a long time ago.” He reasoned.

 

“She died in my arms and I didn’t even have a name for her grave you bastard.” You shouted through the tears.

 

“I didn’t know I was your father then I just knew I didn’t want to be the one to tell you that your mother was the daughter of the man who killed her.” He snarled.

 

You reeled back as if he’d struck you.

 

“The daughter of... Docherty is...” You started to hyperventilate.

 

“You didn’t know that?” He frowned.

 

“Shit.” He added as you sunk to your knees.

 

The tears were pouring now as you tried to breathe. Your stomach twisted as it sunk in and you heaved.

 

Docherty was your Grandfather.

 

He kept his own daughter locked up for so long she’d lost her mind.

 

He killed her just to send you a message.

 

He kept you in a cage your whole life and tortured you.

 

And he was your Grandfather.

 

“It’s alright kid, it’s gonna be alright.” Logan tried to say soothingly as he approached you.

 

You screamed in horror as the rage and disgust consumed you and Logan was blasted back by the power surging out of you.

 

You could feel Vernichtung at the edge of your consciousness, you could feel her rage and it was even more intense than your own.

 

“Let me out, I’ll make it all go away.” She whispered to you.

 

“DON’T” Xaviers voice screamed at you inside your mind.

 

You tried to push her back down but you couldn’t. Your careful control had been shattered because truthfully you didn’t want to lock her back up. You wanted to retreat and hide away from this and let her do her worst.

 

The world didn’t make sense anymore and as black veins rippled across your arms you tried to tell yourself that this was a school, there were innocents here but it wasn’t enough.

 

The knowledge of who you were had broken you.

 

Somebody wrapped their arm around you and forced you to look at them.

 

“Ma petite you are stronger than this.” Remy promised you.

 

“You can’t be here. Run.” You urged him.

 

“I ran once and left you behind. Not today. Remy will not leave you.”

 

You shuddered as you battled inside your mind with your darker side.

 

“This is who you are, who you truly are. The only way to make this pain you feel stop is with blood.” Vernichtung whispered.

 

“I can’t fight anymore.” You whispered weakly and closed your eyes, surrendering to the inevitable.

 

You were a monster, descended from a monster. This was who you were and you couldn’t deny it any longer. Vernichtung could have your body and you would take the cage because you couldn’t do anything else.

 

“You just need a reason to fight.” Remy whispered.

 

And then he kissed you. And in desperation, in need of something to cling to, you kissed him back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hurt me. Please.


	43. Run Away

You wrenched yourself away from Remy with a gasp.

 

“No, no. I love Bucky.” You choked out.

 

“I know. But you needed to think of something else.” He smiled sadly.

 

“Doll?”

 

You looked up to see Bucky standing on the driveway, flanked by Tony and Loki. A blood soaked Logan stood up behind them, wounds sealing closed. A pathetic sounding sob escaped you and you half stood up and stumbled towards Tony.

 

Tony was the only solid thing in your crumbling world right now but to your shock and heartbreak he stepped away from you.

 

“It’s not me you need Kit Kat.” He said sadly.

 

Your strength abandoned you and you collapsed but you never hit the ground. One flesh arm and one metal caught you and you tentatively looked at Bucky.

 

His eyes were soft and full of pain.

 

“I love you, all of you.” He whispered and you fell apart.

 

He wrapped his arms around you and held you. Loki knelt in front of you and held a vial out.

 

“You both need to drink the antidote.”

 

“You haven’t had it yet?” You asked Bucky.

 

“No.”

 

“So when you said you loved me?”

 

“It’s the truth. I do love you and I’ll be here as long as you’ll have me.” He answered.

 

“I want forever.” You told him.

 

“Then that’s what you’ll get doll, forever.”

 

The cage in your subconscious snapped shut, Vernichtung once again locked safely away.

 

If you had Bucky, everything else would be alright.

 

“Kit Kat, you need the antidote.” Tony prompted you and Bucky took the vial from Loki and held it to your lips.

 

“We need to talk.” Logan growled.

 

“You may be hard to hurt but trust me, I’ll find a way if you don’t back off right now.” Tony snapped at him.

 

You nuzzled into Bucky’s shoulder and tried to block out the voices of your father and you biological father arguing.

 

“I thought you told her about Docherty. Because you didn’t I just got deathwaved on the front lawn and she almost lost control. We’re gonna talk now.” Logan informed him.

 

“No. Don’t blame him for your fuck up.” You snarled at Logan.

 

Bucky rubbed soothing circles on your back as you growled angrily at Wolverine.

 

“Barnes, get her out of here. Take that weekend trip early.” Tony instructed, tossing him the keys.

 

“Come on sweetheart.” Bucky said gently, pulling you towards the car.

 

“Wait.” You told him, pulling free and walking over to Logan.

 

He looked down at you.

 

“I thought you knew.” He said, his voice soft for once.

 

“Why didn’t you tell me? Did you... am I that big a disappointment?” You whispered almost inaudibly.

 

“You had a dad already, didn’t want to get in the way.” Logan told you.

 

“What was her name?”

 

“Anne.”

 

You nodded to yourself and silently walked away, getting in the car. Before you closed the door Bucky leaned in to kiss you on the forehead.

 

“I’ll be right back doll.” He told you.

 

You nodded to him to show you understood and he and left, Tony stepping up to take his place.

 

“He loves you. I won’t pretend I’m ok with it being him, I don’t think I’ll ever fully be alright with it but he does love you Kit Kat. So do I. So go away with him, lick your wounds and let him look after you. I’ll be here when you come back.” Tony said.

 

He wiped a stray tear from your cheek and looked at you with such tenderness.

 

“Don’t forget how proud I am of you.” He said.

 

Your lips moved and you managed to weakly whimper out that you loved him before he closed the car door. The drivers side opened and Bucky slipped in the car.

 

“I didn’t hurt him before you ask.” He informed you and you frowned at him.

 

“Remy. I didn’t hurt him for kissing you. I just reminded him who’s girl you are.”

 

“Yours.” You said.

“Mine.” He confirmed.

 

It was all too much for you, what had happened and your eyes fluttered closed as the emotional exhaustion kicked in. Despite it all, there was the smallest smile on your face as you drifted off because you were safe, you were loved and you had Bucky Barnes by your side.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

“What the hell were you thinking? You could have been killed.” Tony demanded.

 

“Ah but she once risked it all to save me. I owed her the same. Remy thought maybe he could bring her back from the brink, and it worked.” He explained with a shrug.

 

“Not in the way you were hoping. You just reminded her how much she loves the soldier.” Logan huffed.

 

“Listen to me Romeo, personally I would have preferred you but she chose him. I know several assassins who love my daughter almost as much as I do and if you ever try and get between her and Barnes again I will unleash them on you.” Tony threatened.

 

Remy’s smirk didn’t quite reach his eyes.

 

“You don’t worry about Remy mon ami, he will not be a problem.” He promised with an air of sadness.

 

“And you.” Tony said, advancing on Logan.

 

“You don’t wanna pick this fight Stark.” Logan growled.

 

“Oh don’t I?”

 

“There was no right way to handle this. She’s my kid, now she knows it. And she’s made it perfectly clear what she thinks of that. Tore me to pieces, literally.”

 

“That’s my girl.” Tony said proudly.

 

“Yeah Stark. That’s _your_ girl. Nothing like me at all.” Logan said sarcastically.

 

“Do not make the mistake of assuming that because she shares genetics with you that she will be like you. Her choices are her own and not dictated by her DNA.” Loki interjected with a dark stare.

 

“Well you sure as hell better hope she takes after me and not her grandfather. I’m trusting you with her because believe it or not I want what’s best for her. I want her to have a chance. I’m not the one to give it to her Stark and I know that but it doesn’t mean I don’t care. She needs to be better than me, she needs to be better than Docherty. Do not let her down.” Logan said furiously.

 

Tony was shocked. It was probably the most words Logan had ever said to him at one time.

 

“She is better than you, she’s sure as hell better than him, she’s better than me. She’s so determined to be good she broke herself. Her best chance doesn’t come from me or you, it comes from herself.” Tony informed him.

 

“And that’s why you’re her dad and not me.” Logan said, storming away.

 

Tony thought he understood the gruff man a bit better now and it was like a weight was lifted from his shoulders. Logan wasn’t rejecting you because he didn’t want you, he was doing it because he wanted you to be happy.

 

It was the same reason Tony had swallowed his pride and sent you away with Bucky.

 

They both just wanted you to be happy.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

You shifted in your sleep, trying to get comfy as your legs got tangled in the sheets. Why were there sheets in the car?

 

You opened your eyes just as Bucky leaned over you.

 

“Hey you’re awake, I had to carry you in from the car.” He explained, brushing a lock of hair off your cheek.

 

“Where are we?” You asked.

 

“Well I know how much you like the woods and I thought you would find this place peaceful.” He said, smirking at you.

 

You looked around the room and gasped.

 

“How long was I asleep?”

 

You definitely weren’t in the city anymore.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt bad so I updated with this super short chapter. I don't think it's a spoiler to inform you that smut and romance are coming....


	44. Making Love On The Mountain

“We’re not far over the border.” He informed you.

 

“The Canadian border?”

 

He nodded.

 

“I slept for what, 9 hours?” You squeaked, surprised.

 

There was a small smirk on his face.

 

“We took the jet didn’t we?”You said, shaking you head at him.

 

“Yeah, I drove you onboard. You slept for three hours. Natasha packed your bag for you.” He said, nodding at the duffle bag on the floor.

 

You got distracted by the view again.

 

“It’s beautiful.”

 

“We’re miles from anyone and nobody knows where we are except Tony, Nat and Steve.” He told you.

 

“So we should talk.” You sighed.

 

“About what? You pushing me into a lake, tripping me up and posting it on the internet, dousing everybody with truth serum, dousing yourself with truth serum or finally telling me the truth about Vernichtung?” He asked, somewhere between cross and amused.

 

“Kissing Remy.” You answered.

 

“Nothing to talk about. He kissed you, you pushed him away and told him you loved me.”

 

“But”

 

“That’s it, I saw the whole thing. I know you kissed him back for a second but you had black veins rippling up your arms, it was kiss him back or go Vernichtung on the front doorstep of a school. It wasn’t a choice.”

 

“You’re being remarkably understanding about this.”

 

“Because I love you sweetheart, don’t you get that?” He said intensely.

 

“I know you do but you shouldn’t.

 

“Because of your ‘shadow self’?”

 

You nodded, leaning your head against your knees.

 

“Wanda knew, Tony knew, I’m assuming Professor Xavier knew?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“And none of them thought any less of you for it. Nobody you told today does either. The only person who can’t see you for what you are is yourself.”

 

You peered up at him with confused eyes.

 

“They kept you in a cage for 20 years, only letting you out to cause you pain. Of course you were angry, you’re human. But you were so desperate to be good that you pulled bits of yourself apart like cotton candy and shoved them where they couldn’t be used to hurt anyone. That doesn’t make you evil, Vernichtung’s existence doesn’t make you evil, it just proves how good you are.”

 

You didn’t answer him, just went back to hiding your face.

 

“You are _good_ and strong and brave. You will always do the right thing, even if it means doing the wrong thing first. You think nobody should love you? You told me that loving me wasn’t a choice well loving you wasn’t a choice for me either but if it was, I’d choose you.”

 

You finally looked up at him and saw the raw honesty in his eyes. You reached out and grabbed his shirt, the material at his chest bunching around your fingers as you pulled him forwards. He went willingly, as hungry for your kiss as you were for his.

 

His arms pulled you closer and you ended up sitting on his lap, your fingers gripping at his shirt as you lost yourself in his kiss.

 

The thunderous pounding of his heart was the only noise you registered. The unique blend of his cologne and his skin was assaulting your senses in the most wonderful way, making you feel dizzy. His hands squeezing your hips wasn’t enough though, you needed more.

 

There was a ripping sound and you stifled your laughter as you realised he was literally ripping your jeans off. Between the two of you, you managed to stop kissing long enough to pull your shirts off before you were pressed together again.

 

You put your knees on either side of his hips and even through the denim material of his jeans you could feel his hardness. Almost of their own accord your hips ground down and he drank down your moans of pleasure as you moved against him, the thin material of your underwear the only protection you had against the rough denim.

 

You weren’t sure when your bra had come off but it was lying on the bed behind him looking a little torn and you whimpered in need at the thought.

 

He pushed you off his lap and you almost scowled until you saw him undoing the zipper on his jeans and pulling them off, his body colliding with yours as soon as he was free of them and he pushed you down onto the mattress.

 

You wrapped your legs around him and pushed, rolling you over so he was under you again. His chest vibrated against yours as he chuckled at your brazenness and his hands slid from your hips, up your stomach and cupped your breasts. Your head rolled back as his thumbs brushed teasingly across your nipples.

 

“You can be on top if you like doll, doesn’t mean you’re in control.”

 

With his jeans gone his shaft was even more pronounced and you didn’t waste any time in grinding against it, causing him to hiss. He abandoned your breasts and grabbed at your panties, pulling them apart and leaving you bare as he flung the ruined material off the bed.

 

His metal hand splayed across your lower back as he leant up, leaning on his flesh hand for support and attacked your lips with renewed fervour. Your teeth clashed together as you kissed, there was no grace or care in it, you just needed to feel one another.

 

You pushed up, using you thigh muscles to hover over him so you could pull his boxers down, leaving them halfway down his thighs and without any preamble his hand left your back to hold himself steady while you guided your hips down onto his cock. You let out twin moans of contentment as soon as you were fully seated on him.

 

You gave yourself a minute to adjust before you pushed at his chest so he was lying down on the bed again and gently gyrated against him. His cock brushed against every sensitive spot inside you as your clitoris rubbed against the rough hairs on his groin and you threw you head back in ecstasy, continuing to move your hips against him, letting the pleasure guide you.

 

He held you steady with one hand on your thigh as his metal hand cupped your breast, teasing and tweaking your nipples as you rode him.

 

“Shit doll, look at you.” He groaned, looking up at you in rapture.

 

The more you moved, the better it felt and you used your burning thigh muscles to push yourself up and down as you gyrated. He drew his knees up to plant his feet on the bed and help you, thrusting upwards as you thrust down, meeting you in the middle so your bodies connected in a delightful way and you moaned breathlessly every time.

 

You looked at him, this dishevelled sex god under you and nearly came at the sight. With his swollen lips, tousled hair and blown pupils he looked positively wrecked. There was a thin sheen of sweat across his chest and the muscles of his abdomen were contracting with every thrust he made. What made you almost come undone though was the look in his eyes, it was pure, untainted love.

 

“Oh god, James.” You whimpered.

 

Your hips sped up, your need driving them down faster and harder making you bounce on his cock and he didn’t falter as he matched your pace, his hand on your thigh leaving fingerprint bruises as he held onto you.

 

“That’s a good girl, ride my cock sweetheart.” He praised you and you keened loudly at his words.

 

His metal fingers drifted downwards, to the apex of you thighs and the cool metal brushed against your swollen and needy clit as he rubbed in time with your thrusts, bringing your pleasure to new heights as your movements became sloppy and harried. He kept up the momentum, straining his muscles as he sat up, leaning against the headboard.

 

You quickly fell into the abyss of pleasure, coming apart above him as he continued to thrust into you and rub against you, holding his own orgasm at bay to watch you fall apart with yours. Only when the pulsating of your cunt around him slowed and you collapsed against him did he allow himself to follow your lead, groaning your name as he came inside you while you kissed his throat, you fingers running through his hair.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

You eventually pulled yourself out of the bed to go look around the mountain cabin and found it to be modest but sleek. It was clearly a Bucky Barnes property, not a Stark or Romanov one. Though you supposed it could have been Clint’s or Steve’s but you doubted it.

 

Or you kind of hoped not as you and Bucky christened as many surfaces as you could, testing the limits of super soldier endurance. You didn’t intent to screw him everywhere, it just kept happening.

 

He stood in the kitchen, clad in nothing except an unbuttoned pair of jeans as he expertly twirled a knife, cutting an apple and you slammed him against the cupboard and sunk to your knees, freeing his dick from the confines of his jeans and wrapped your lips around it, running your tongue around the tip and moaning at the taste of him. He fisted your hair and swore as you sunk your mouth down on him, taking as much of him deep into you throat as you could, ignoring the sting. The need for oxygen made your eyes burn but you were like a woman possessed as you bobbed your head up and down, sucking and massaging with your tongue. You wrapped your hand around the base of his shaft, letting it help you work his more than considerable length as he watched you, groaning your name and a few choice swear words as he came, his cum shooting down your throat as you swallowed every last drop.

 

His shirt rode up the back of your thighs exposing a hint of your ass as you stretched onto your tiptoes to lean against the front window and enjoy the view and the next thing you knew you were bent over the back of the sofa while he slammed into you, his hands squeezing and smacking your asscheeks. He fucked you recklessly hard until you screamed his name while you came before he pulled out and shot hot spurts of cum across your ass.

 

The sharp edge of the stairs dug into your back as you’d only made it halfway up them before he’d given up and buried his head between your thighs. You had one hand tugging his hair as the other white knuckled the bannister while his mouth sucked your clit relentlessly and two of his metal fingers fucked your pussy. The wooden banister splintered under your grip or your orgasm washed over you.

 

It wasn’t the last thing to be broken and you hadn’t even been in the cabin for a full 24 hours.

 

The glass divider on the shower had been smashed by a metal fist while the man attached to the fist fucked you into the wall. You’d both paused for half a second before shrugging and ignoring it.

 

One of the wooden dining chairs was being used as spare firewood after you rode him a little too hard during a failed attempt at a calm, romantic dinner. In your defence, he didn’t need to lick sauce off his fingers quite so seductively.

 

The cracked wall plaster behind the wooden desk in the spare room/office was completely your fault though, you were woman enough to admit it. If you hadn’t wanted Bucky to fuck you so hard on it that it had slammed into the wall then you shouldn’t have draped yourself on it with your legs parted, giving him a view of what you _weren’t_ wearing underneath his shirt again.

 

The cabin was falling apart and you both had bruises and bite mark littering your body. The violent, satisfying sex hadn’t come as a surprise to you. What was surprising was how well the two of you worked outside of the sexcapdes.

 

Something as simple as doing the dishes was like a well rehearsed dance as you washed and he dried, the two of you automatically moving around one another as you chatted about Steve’s inability to flirt or the new telescope on the roof. It was domestic and comfortable and it felt right.

 

At the end of the first full day as you snuggled exhaustedly into his chest you grinned happily.

 

“I love you.”

 

“I love you too doll.” He responded easily, kissing your head as he switched the light off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The moral of the story is that I might shove angst at you but I can make it all better. There's more to come (pun intended) from these two....


	45. Soldier Of Death

**Daddypool:** You exploded Wolverine without inviting me to watch?!? HOW COULD YOU???

 

**Daddypool:** Did you at least save me a piece?

 

**You:** Who told you???

 

**Daddypool:** So you did save me a piece?

 

**You:** No you fucking overripe watermelon, who told you I exploded him?

 

**Daddypool:** Rude. Jubilee text me.

 

**You:** If you want some of Logan’s DNA apparently I have 50%....

 

**Daddypool:** What did you do?????? Collect the goo in Tupperware containers? No judgement.

 

**You:** Jesus Fucking Christ Wade

 

**You:** He’s my biological father.

 

**Daddypool:**.....................................

 

**Daddypool:** ASDFGHJKL!!!!!

 

**You:** You alright sweetie?

 

**Daddypool:** I’m fine. I’m ok. So Logan’s your dad? On a completely unrelated note, wanna come to Vegas with me?

 

**You:** No need, I just spoke to Logan and he said he would LOVE it if you called him Daddy from now on :D

 

**Daddypool:** I am choosing to believe you.

 

“Who you texting sweetheart?” Bucky whispered in your ear, flinging his arm across your waist.

 

You tilted the phone to show him just as a text came through and Bucky’s snort of laughter made you look down at the screen.

 

**Darcy:** YOU’RE FUCKING BARNES?!?!?!?!?

 

“You certainly are.” He snickered.

 

“I can’t believe I forgot to tell Darcy!” You said guiltily.

 

“Hmm, you’ve been busy though.” He reasoned, nipping the skin at your throat.

 

**Darcy:** FYI, the internet have dubbed you ‘Soldier of Death’ as your couple name and I 100% approve. I expect details, lots of them before I forgive you.

 

**You:** Uhhhhhh. Couple name? Internet?

 

**Darcy:** Winter Soldier/Deathwave aka Soldier of Death. Someone posted a picture of you two kissing on the balcony on your birthday on Instagram with the caption ‘The truth will set you free’.

 

“MOTHERFUCKER! I’m going to kill Natasha!”

 

“Well it was only a matter of time before people found out doll, you can’t keep your hands of me.” Bucky said reasonably.

 

You twisted round to arch a brow at him, glancing down at his hands pointedly.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

You tapped your foot against the floor in agitation as you watched him flip a knife in the air and catch it easily, chopping a tomato with the blade skilfully. Your eyes narrowed at him, the bastard. You had quickly devolved into an argument about who couldn’t keep their hands of who and now were apparently in a competition.

 

Well if he wanted to play dirty...

 

You yawned loudly, stretching your arms above you and arching your back. You smirked a little when you heard the chopping sounds falter for a second before Bucky cleared his throat and started up again. Well that was easy and you’d only been testing the waters.

 

Let the games begin.

 

As soon as you bit into the omelette you moaned sinfully at the taste, ignoring Bucky and his suspicious glare. He responded by scooting his chair closer and lifting your legs up to drape them across his lap, running his fingers across your bare skin.

 

When he went for a shower he ‘forgot’ a towel and shouted for you to bring one to him. When you walked in the bathroom and saw him in all his naked glory, water spilling down his body you nearly tripped over. You threw the towel onto the vanity and fled.

 

When he came out of the bathroom he was treated to a view of you doing yoga on the front deck, currently doing a handstand as you parted your legs and did the splits without wavering. You heard the bedroom door slam shut and giggled.

 

You finished up your yoga just as he came waltzing outside, shirtless with an axe slung over his shoulder.

 

“Um, whatcha doing?” You enquired.

 

“That chair we broke isn’t going to last long so I’m going to chop some wood.” He explained, smirking at your wandering gaze.

 

“Oh ok. Cool. Ok. I’m gonna go for a run.” You stammered.

 

No way were you sticking around to watch him act out the first ten minutes of a wild mountain man porno.

 

“Oh? Have some pent up energy you need to burn off?” He asked.

 

“Fuck off Barnes.” You snapped.

 

His bark of laughter made you jump, you’d been so focused on the way his back muscles were rippling as he lifted a log up. You huffed in annoyance and turned your back on him.

 

You eyed up the woods and released a breath. You’d been busy with Bucky but you’d been itching to run through the trees since you’d seen them. You were so excited you didn’t pay attention to him watching you.

 

You sunk to the ground in a starting position as you narrowed your eyes and a feral grin spread across your face. Without any warning you leapt forward, propelling yourself into the trees.

 

You flew over a low hanging branch and landed lithely on the ground, digging your heels into the dirt and sprinting forwards. You ducked, leant and moved out of the way of branches as you raced through the trees fluidly.

 

You had missed this, nature. You never got to spend enough time in the woods unless you were in danger so you never realised just how at home you felt here. Your instincts and sensed kicked in automatically as your mind cleared and it was like you were one with the forest, never missing a beat as you ran.

 

You didn’t think, you didn’t have to. Your feet landed where they needed to and it was like the forest was working in sync with you, parting like water to let you run. Anything that could have tripped you up or tangled around your ankles was sidestepped without conscious thought or effort.

 

You ran for miles, leaping over streams, hurtling over logs, climbing up trees and flinging yourself down them and not once did you slow down or lose your pace.

 

It was wondrously, rapturously freeing and you felt so alive. The further you ran the clearer your mind became and you it wasn’t a surprise to you that you could hear and smell everything for miles. You could hear the birds around you singing to each other, their wings flapping as they flew amongst the trees. There was a shuffling sound a few miles east and you sniffed the air, the heady scent of fur telling you it was a deer grazing.

 

Miles behind you you heard the thunk of wood as the only other human for miles chopped wood and you circled back, pushing yourself towards him.

 

He heard your footsteps before he saw you and when he realised you weren’t slowing down he dropped the axe and turned around, catching you in mid air as you leapt into his arms. You wrapped your legs around his waist and laughed joyfully.

 

You pressed yourself against his bare torso and ran your fingers through his hair, tugging at the strands roughly to pull his face down to yours.

 

Running through the woods couldn’t compare to how alive you felt when you were kissing James Buchanan Barnes. His lips parted against yours as you ran your tongue across his bottom lip and his chest rumbled. You kissed him breathless before you pulled away and jumped down, leaving his panting and looking a bit dazed.

 

“I guess you’re right, I just can’t keep my hands off you.” You joked, jogging away towards the door.

 

You heard him growl lowly at you and you broke into a run, laughing as you raced up the stairs, his heavy footsteps chasing you.

 

As soon as you opened the bedroom door you were sent flying, landing on all fours on the bed. Before you could turn around his hands were tugging the material of your workout leggings down your hips.

 

“Think you can get away with teasing me doll?” He snarled as he ripped them down your legs and flipped you over.

 

You grinned smugly at him as he finally got the leggings off you after pulling your shoes off. You grabbed your ankles and yanked you down the bed, your bared pussy exposed to him.

 

He arched a questioning brow at you and you nodded.

 

He dove forwards and licked one solid stripe along your slit, pulling away before he came into contact with your clit. His hands grabbed your sports bra and ripped it. You were running out of clothes what with his tendency to rip them off of you.

 

You ran your hands across his biceps, equally as affectionate with the metal one as you were with the flesh one until he grabbed your wrists and pushed them above your head.

 

“I don’t think so doll. You lost, couldn’t keep your hands off me so you don’t get to touch me until I say so.” He told you with a wicked grin.

 

You bit your lip and obediently kept your hands above your head when he released you. He stood above you, watching you with a calculated gaze.

 

With your legs splayed and your arms above your head, you were completely bare and at his mercy.

 

"Mica mea leoaică, așa de înfricoșătoare pentru mine.” He murmured heatedly as he ran his fingers down the inside of your thigh.

 

You gulped at the unfamiliar language, you were wagering it was Romanian. It was one of the few languages he knew that you didn’t and hearing him speak it, knowing he knew you couldn’t understand him made you even wetter. He chuckled darkly at your reaction and gripped your ankle as he slowly kissed his way up your leg.

 

When he reached the apex of your thighs you braced yourself for him to ignore your soaking wet pussy but he didn’t. He gently kissed you where you wanted him, flicking his tongue across your swollen clit for good measure before kissing his way down your other leg.

 

“Keep your hands above your head sweetheart.” He warned as he stood up again and flipped you back onto your stomach.

 

You did as you were told as you heard the sound of his jeans hitting the floor before he crawled onto the bed behind you and pressed a light kiss at the small of your back, in the dip of your spine and worked his way upwards.

 

His weight settled above you and you felt his cock push against your ass as he kissed your shoulder, biting down on it a little harder than gently before kissing the sting away.

 

“You might wanna grip onto those sheets sweetheart.” He warned as he sat up on his knees behind you.

 

His hands lifted your hips into the air as you twisted your hands into the bedsheets. With your arms stretched out above you, your torso pressed into the mattress and your ass in the air you were presented to him in such a lewd and filthy way that it had you moaning out loud even before he buried his face in your cunt.

 

As Bucky, sucked, licked and kissed you your moans became louder and the sheets tore under your grip. Over the sounds of your moans you could hear him fisting himself and you bit your lip so hard you tasted blood.

 

Just the _though_ of him eating you out while he wanked himself off would have been enough to make you come, never mind the sheer fucking bliss he was causing by actually doing it and it didn’t take long at all for your orgasm to build up inside you. Before you fell over the edge he pulled back and you whimpered at the loss.

 

You felt the cold sensation of metal at your hole and he suddenly had two fingers knuckle deep in your pussy and you gasped at the very welcome intrusion. You were so wet they made an obscene squelching sound as he rapidly thrust them in and out of you, his thumb dropping to massage your clit.

 

“Fuck, fuck fuck, **James!”** You moaned loudly as you came on his hand, his fingers inside you rubbing at your G-Spot as you clenched around them.

 

White noise filled your ears as he finger fucked you into oblivion and you were too lost in the sheer mind blowing pleasure to register his groans as he came, his cum painting stripes across the back of your thighs.

 

You settled back onto planet earth about the same time he gently rolled you onto your back and leaned next to you on his side, licking his metal fingers clean.

 

“Fuck.” You whimpered.

 

“I intend to, thought you may need a minute first.” He said smugly.

 

Super Soldier serum was a godsend because you could feel him hardening against your hip.

 

“Can I touch you yet?” You asked breathily.

 

“Maybe if if you ask me real sweetly.” He told you, a brooklyn accent breaking through.

 

You growled and tried to touch him anyway but the second you moved your hands an inch away from the bed he grabbed them, both of your wrists easily ensconced in his much larger hand.

 

“I said ask me sweetly.” He chastised as he rolled on top of you, nudging your legs apart with his knee.

 

“Please James, I need to feel you.” You begged.

 

“Oh do you doll? Do you need to feel me?”He taunted evilly as he lined his now fully hard cock up with your entrance.

You pushed against his hand, struggling to free yourself but it was in vain. The head of his cock slowly pushed past your folds and you abandoned the struggle.

 

“You don’t need your hands to feel me doll, you can feel me now can’t you?” He whispered in your ear as he pushed inside you, tortuously slow.

 

You turned your head to the side, seeking him out and he met your lips with his own. He wasn’t even a full inch inside you before he pulled out and you made a noise of discontent.

 

“You didn’t answer me.” He reprimanded.

 

“I can feel you, I don’t need my hands.” You said in a rush.

 

“Split your legs like you did when you were being such a little fucking tease outside.” He instructed and you obeyed, parting your legs as wide as you could for him.

 

“Good girl.” He praised and languidly pushed his cock inside you.

 

With your legs splayed for him like this he went deeper inside you as he slowly thrust all the way in until he was pressed against you. He stayed like that for a moment, keeping you pinned down as he passionately kissed you. His lips moved across your jaw and down to your throat as he pulled out just as slowly.

 

“Promise you’ll keep your hands right there and I’ll fuck you the way you want to be fucked.” He negotiated, whispering the words into your skin.

 

“I promise.”

 

He released your hands and moved to grip your thighs, holding you wide open before he pulled his hips back and slammed them into you again. The force of it would have propelled you up the bed if he hadn’t have been holding you steady and you screamed in ecstasy.

 

He held you still and you kept your hands where you were supposed to as he fucked you hard, almost pummelling you into the mattress. You were slick and wet and he slid into you easily, going so deep you could feel his cock drag against your still sensitive G-spot.

 

You were reduced to a quivering mess in seconds and the sounds of his skin slapping against yours joined the symphony of your moans as the soldier repeatedly thrust his cock into you.

 

You were tight and wet, your walls fluttering around him and it felt so good that the two of you came together as the wooden bed frame creaked dangerously underneath you before it splintered. You were too caught up in each others bodies to notice the bed crashing to the floor.

 

It wasn’t until you came down from your respective highs that you realised you’d broken yet another piece of furniture.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is hands down the absolute filthiest thing I have written yet so if you need me, I'll be bathing in Holy Water.....


	46. Out Of The Woods

You huffed angrily as you dug through your clothes, looking for something untorn to wear. You eventually found a pair of jeans and a Winter Soldier hoodie Natasha had packed for you and pulled them on with a laugh. You remembered the day you bought this, planning on teasing Bucky with it.

 

You sat on the end of the bed, rolling your eyes at Wade’s latest texts requesting nudes as you shoved your phone in your pocket and gazed out of the window. You heard Bucky coming up the stairs and smiled fondly. You were so glad he’d brought you here.

 

“Is this just a safe house or is it more?” You asked Bucky as he handed you a cup of coffee and sat behind you on the bed, wrapping his arms around you.

 

“It was just a safe house. It could be more, if you wanted?” He offered.

 

You leant back into him and laughed.

 

“Are you asking me to move in with you Barnes?” You teased.

 

He didn’t answer and you twisted around to look at him, careful not to spill the coffee. He was grinning at you sheepishly.

 

“Barton has his farm and he’s still an Avenger, maybe we could have this be our place.” He suggested, too nervous to meet your eye.

 

You were taken aback. You hadn’t been together that long, was this too fast? It’s not like you had a past relationship to measure it by though and he was from the 40’s, this was probably slow by his standards.

 

“Please say something.” He whispered, rare vulnerability in his voice.

 

“Yes.”

 

“Really? Yes?” He asked brightly.

 

You loved Bucky, you loved him more than absolutely anything and you didn’t care if it was too fast or too slow, you wanted to be with him.

 

“Yes.” You confirmed.

 

“Doll?”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“Put down the coffee.”

 

You giggled and set it on the floor so he could pull you onto his lap and kiss you.

 

“Bucky?”

 

“Yeah doll?”

 

“Lot of air traffic around these mountains?” You asked.

 

He frowned for a second before he heard it as well. There was a helicopter nearby.

 

You were probably being paranoid but you both sprung into action, you pulling two guns from under the mattress and passing one to him and him pulling...

 

“Is that a rifle? Where the hell were you hiding that?” You asked in shock.

 

You never did find out where he’d hidden it because that was the moment the windows shattered inwards and Bucky threw himself at you, pinning you to the floor and shielding your body with his.

 

“Back door, quarter mile east. Head for the jet, it’s cloaked.” He instructed and you nodded.

 

You both leapt to your feet and rushed for the door, staying low to avoid the bullets flying through the ruined window.

 

You coughed as you made it onto the landing and a white smoke rose from the floor below. Bucky grabbed the back of your hoodie and dragged to to the stairs but you shrugged him off. You had this.

 

Holding your breath you vaulted over the bannister, landing silently on the floor. The smoke stung at your eyes as you tackled a dark blur you were 90% sure was a person. You were right and you blindly grabbed where the neck should be and twisted.

 

You ripped the mask off the corpse and flung it in Bucky’s direction.

 

“Incoming!” You called, choking on the smoke.

 

A bullet hit your shoulder, following the sound of your voice and you rolled away. You heard a thump and guessed Bucky had taken care of it. A mask landed on the ground at your feet and you pulled it on.

 

Something moved towards you through the smoke and you almost shot it before you realised it was Bucky. He signalled the door and made a cut throat motion the pointed at the window. You gave him the thumbs up to show you understood and ran full speed at the window, unaware of Bucky rolling his eyes behind you.

 

You crashed through the glass and landed in a crouch, pulling off the mask and firing at the two waiting agents who’d been aiming there guns at the door. Bucky landed behind you as they fell to the ground and pulled his own mask off.

 

“Firstly, you should have taken the first mask you colossal idiot and Secondly, you weren’t meant to run straight through the fucking window _Steve Rogers_!” he grumbled.

 

“We’re surrounded.” You told him, head tilted as you listened.

 

“No shit.” He rebutted, grabbing your elbow and dragging you to the tree cover.

 

“Who are they?” You wondered out loud as he shot an agent out of a tree.

 

“Doll I’ve been with you the whole time, I know as much as you do.” You said, rolling his eyes again.

 

“Oh yeah.”

There was an explosion behind you.

 

“Good news is we won’t have to fix the bannister, Bad news is we might have to find a realtor'.” You said with a wince.

 

You heard the enemies closing in on you and whipped your head from side to side as you tried to get a lock on their locations.

 

“There’s too many of them.” You told Bucky, fear beginning to take hold.

 

A small cluster of them broke out of the treeline and fired at you. You and Bucky stood side by side and fired back. A few of them made it past the bullets and attacked you both. You shot the one closest to Bucky at the same moment he flipped a knife in the air and you caught it in mid air, driving it into the eye socket of the agent now in front of you.

 

You heard the crunching of bone as one of them fell to the ground beside you courtesy of Bucky. They had the numbers though and the more of them you both killed, the more that came out of the woods.

 

“Any ideas?” You yelled at him as you thigh choked someone and used your heightened perch to fire at someone else.

 

“Keep killing them until they’re all dead.” He shouted back, using an agent as a human shield and shoving the bullet ridden corpse at the two men shooting him like a macabre bowling ball.

 

Your feet hit the dirt as your thigh choke finally finished off the agent below you and you cursed and swerved as _yet another agent_ struck at you. The blow missed your head but hit your shoulder and you were knocked to this side as your attacker pulled out his gun.

 

Your stumble caught Bucky’s attention and he failed to see the man behind him pull a knife.

 

Everything slowed down as you saw the man behind Bucky bring the knife down and the man across from you point his gun at you. It wasn’t a decision and you didn’t hesitant to shoot the one about to kill Bucky, the bullet ripping through him. The man about to shoot you crumbled to the ground and you looked at him in shock.

 

You glanced back at Bucky who had a gun in his hand and you glared at him.

 

“You saved me and not yourself?” You both snapped simultaneously.

 

There wasn't time to argue about it, you were surrounded on all sides by enemies.

 

“Bucky I....”

 

He had come to the same conclusion as you and his eyes were heavy with regret as he pulled you into his arms and kissed you.

 

He held you tightly, like he may never get to hold you again and you kissed him with every single last ounce of love and passion you had in you.

 

“I love you.” You stated emphatically as he pulled away.

 

He brushed a lock of hair off your face and his hand cupped your cheek.

 

“I love you Doll. That’s why I need you to kill me.”

 

Your heart stopped beating as his words sunk in.

 

“They came for you. Only Vernichtung can stop them.”He regretfully explained.

 

“No!” You growled fiercely.

 

“If you don’t they’ll kill me anyway, or remake me into the soldier and they’ll still get to you. You _have_ to do this.” He urged.

 

You backed away and looked up at him in growing horror as he aimed at something behind you and shot it without breaking eye contact with you.

 

“Please.” He implored you.

 

You shook your head as several agents burst out of the trees, you and Bucky firing at them. Bullets whizzed from behind you and you pushed Bucky out of the way just in time, taking the bullets yourself.

 

He roared your name and spun round, firing a gun from each hand as you stumbled.

 

Your vision flickered for a second and you looked down to see three rapidly growing red spots on you. One on your shoulder, one on your bicep and one on your stomach. Your balance was lost and your knee’s hit the ground. You heard Bucky screaming your name and looked up to see six agents piling onto him.

 

“Do it!” He yelled at you.

 

And then it happened. Your worst nightmare came to life. Flanked by dozens of armed agents Dr Jack Docherty strolled into the clearing.

 

“I surrender!” You shouted and Bucky looked up at you in shock and betrayal as he fought off his attackers.

 

“Spare him, leave him alone and I’ll come with you. I won’t fight back. Just don’t hurt him.” You begged.

 

Docherty grinned victoriously and gave one sharp nod of his head.

 

“I’m sorry but I love you too much.” You whispered to Bucky and that was the last thing he heard before the butt of a gun cracked across his skull and he was sent sprawling into the dirt.

 

“My dear Vernichtung, do you understand now? I will finally break you. All it took was a little hope.”

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

When Bucky woke up on the forest floor all that was left to prove you had ever been there was a cracked phone and a discarded locket.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You'll be glad to know that this is it folks. We're in the final stretch.


	47. The Doctor Will See You Now

Jack Docherty, like all men was born with the potential for good and evil. There was no deciding factor ingrained in his DNA. At 06:24 am on December 3rd 19 1951 he was born a blank slate and his fate was to be decided by the man and woman the midwife handed him too.

 

Ian Docherty was a man of faith, a God fearing man. To him, the squealing babe in his arms was another miracle of the lord.

 

Emma Docherty was a woman who felt she was forsaken by God and her husband. To her, her infant son was nothing more than another burden.

 

The first three years of Jack Docherty’s life were unremarkable. Seven months into the third year, everything changed.

 

“Your father is sick. God is punishing him.” His mother told him.

 

Jack crept into his fathers room and peered at him over the top of the bed. His once vibrant father was nothing more than a bag of bones lying on the bed, his skin sallow and sunken in, stretched over his skeleton. His chest rasped and wheezed as he tried to breathe. Jack reached up and with his little fist, grabbed his fathers hand.

 

Almost like magic, colour bloomed across his fathers flesh and life returned to him. For the first time in days he opened his eyes. There was a small thump from the next to the bed and he looked down.

 

“Jack? Jack? EMMA!” He yelled.

 

Emma Docherty rushed into the room, falling onto her knees next to her sons prone form. As soon as she touched the boy her skin took on a sallow palour. And so at three years and seven months old, Jack Docherty healed his father and killed his mother.

 

“God knew my wife was poisoning me and gave me a son to heal me and punish her for her sins.” His father told the church.

 

At first nobody believed him but when his son lay hands on old Mrs Carver and she was healed of her blindness they knew the truth. It didn’t matter to them that Jack was now blind. It didn’t matter to his father. Until he realised that the next person Jack touched would inherit the blindness.

 

That was the day his father started buying rats. It was also the day Mrs Carver saw her husbands transgressions with the neighbour and killed them both.

 

Not even four years old and Jack Docherty was dragged to churches up and down the country to heal the sick, no matter how much pain it caused him. And everywhere they went there was a trail of dead rats and ungrateful people.

 

When Jack Docherty was seventeen years old he laid hands on a man with a painful, terminal disease. And instead of passing it to a rat, he passed it to his father.

 

“When you see God, ask him why he would do this to me and not expect my revenge.” Jack hissed to his dying father.

 

Evil is not born in the womb, it festers over time, through tragedy. And humanity was evil, Jack Docherty knew this to be true.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

Leaving Bucky behind was the only way to keep him safe, if you hadn’t then he would be in a cell next to yours and while you loved him, you weren’t quite that co-dependant. Besides, if you were going to get out of this then you wanted Bucky out there, looking for you.

 

So you went quietly, letting Docherty lead you to the helicopter. You had planned to kill him as soon as you were in the air and you knew Bucky was safe but he had planned for that and as soon as you stepped onto the craft you were hit with several tranq darts and tazed for good measure.

 

When you woke up again it was in a cage almost identical to the one you had grown up in, the only difference was the room around it. This room was dark and musty and your grandfather was sat waiting for you to wake up.

 

He’d never been much of a talker before, apparently he had a lot to share now though.

 

Of all the tortures Docherty had subjected you to over the years, this was by far the worst. You shoved your hands in your pockets and gave him a bored look.

 

“So you’re a mutant?” You asked casually, it had been the only part of his story that had picked up your interest.

 

“It never occurred to you I might be?” He asked, as if genuinely surprised you didn’t know.

 

In retrospect, it made sense. Your mother was a mutant, she had to have got it from somewhere. It also explained how he had poisoned a mutant with healing abilities.

 

“Honestly I never really gave much thought to why you were such a dick and I gotta say... Cool backstory, you’re still an asshole.” You responded with a shrug.

 

“Such fire. Stark was good for you.”He said mockingly.

 

“You thought if you could raise me like you were raised I would turn into a psychopath like you did? Well I bet you feel like an idiot now because guess what Docherty? It wasn’t your upbringing that made you the way you are, you’re just a dick.” You mocked back.

 

“I saw the depravity and selfishness that people posses. They don’t deserve to live.”He hissed.

 

“I saw it as well, courtesy of you and agree to disagree. There are good people in the world. I’m one of them, despite your best efforts.” You rebutted.

 

“Ungrateful child. My best efforts made you what you are, into a god! You have no idea what I had to sacrifice to make you into Vernichtung, to bring the world to it’s knees and make people pay for their depravity!”

 

“Sacrificed? You mean your daughter? My mother. The one you kept locked away, waiting for the right moment to kill?” You snarled.

 

He looked taken aback.

Locked in another cage by him, you didn’t feel as brave as you sounded. But you were channelling Tony because this pathetic, snivelling excuse of a man would never see your fear again. So you would trade barbs with him and rile him up and you would do it with a smile.

 

You thought of your father and he gave you the strength to smile at the man you hated above all else.

 

You thought of Bucky and he gave you the strength to stand tall in the face of your abuser.

 

“Sorry, did you want to dramatically announce that? Go ahead, I’ll even fall to my knees in slow motion when you do.” You quipped with a signature Stark grin.

 

“Yes, I killed my daughter. I needed the healing mutation she had but she was weak. So I gave Vernichtung to you, your natural mutations and super soldier serum made you strong enough to survive the multiple volatile mutant abilities in your veins.” He explained calmly.

 

“She wasn’t weak. All those years and she still remembered me! She loved me!” You exclaimed furiously, determined to defend her memory.

 

“She was a slave to her heart, to her emotions. She wasn’t like me so all she was good for was her DNA. She died to help make you into what you are supposed to be.” He said callously.

 

“You’re right. You went to a lot of effort, sacrificed so much and for what? You’re an old man who has achieved nothing. I’m never going to destroy the world.” You scoffed.

 

“But you will. When you let that mutant escape I saw an opportunity. I let you go, let you be free. And I never stopped watching, waiting. You needed to have it all before I could take it from you.” He said, holding up a picture of you and Bucky, the one of you on the balcony.

 

“That was your master plan? Let me befriend Earth’s Mightiest Heroes and then steal me away from them? They will come for me. Whatever dank hole you have us hiding in, they will find us.” You vowed.

 

He chuckled and walked over to a button on the wall, pressing it. You winced as the wall in front of your cell rose and the light blasted in. As soon as your eyes adjusted you looked out of the window.

 

“Motherfucker.” You swore.

 

This was why nobody had been able to find Docherty, he wasn’t hiding. You were looking at Stark tower, it was a literal stone’s throw away. Three, maybe four blocks at most. He’d been right under your nose the whole time.

 

“Do you see? You never escaped. You never could.” He told you.

 

You couldn’t look at him, you turned your back on him as you tried to get your breathing under control. This whole time, he’d been right here. Those first days at the tower, learning to trust Tony... He had been down the street. Every moment you spent at the compound, Docherty was here where he could get to Pepper. You weren’t afraid anymore. Not even close.

 

You were pissed.

 

“Are you with me?” You growled.

 

“I’m always with you.”He answered.

 

“I wasn’t talking to you.” You said turning around with a feral smirk.

 

You raised your hand and blasted the cell door open, sending it spiralling across the room in pieces.

 

“Vernichtung.” He breathed out reverently.

 

“Sorry grandpa, it’s still me.”You snarled.

 

“Impossible.” He gasped.

 

“No, it’s not. Because all of me hates all of you.”

 

You stood tall and let the black veins ripple across your skin but your eyes remained clear. You and Vernichtung were united as you advanced on him, ready to tear him apart and put an end to him once and for all. In this, in your hatred of him, you were one with your darker self.

 

For you, for your mother, for every innocent he had ever hurt... He was going to pay.

 

“The thing about Vernichtung my dear is it is not a natural mutation.” he snarled and grabbed your wrist.

 

As soon as he touched you, the veins fled down your skin and onto his hand, rippling up his body.

 

“It’s a disease. That’s why it turns your blood black.” He said victoriously.

 

“No!”

 

You could still feel her in your mind, snapping at the man stealing her power. He convulsed as it overtook him.

 

“You need the healing mutation to survive it. You’ll be ripped apart.” You warned him.

 

“Not before I rip apart everyone you love, and then you will have nothing. Then you may have your power back and you will finally be ready to use it.”

 

“I won’t let you do this.” You said desperately.

 

He only laughed and you were thrown backwards, the Deathwave being unleashed on you and rupturing you from the inside out.

 

Your broken body landed in a pool of your own blood and you realised there was nothing you could do, he was going to rip apart New York and with it, everyone you loved.

 

And then he would get his wish, because you would destroy the world if you lost them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun dunnnnnnnnnnn. 
> 
> The next chapter is the penultimate chapter, the big battle, the explosive finale before the dust settles.   
> So strap in folks, next chapter is going to be long and painful. 
> 
> Also...   
> Jake Peralta: Cool motive, still murder.


	48. The Final Chapter

Bucky stood under the blistering hot water and didn’t feel it. The water swirling down the drain was tinged pink. Blood and dirt had soaked through his clothes, there was so much of it.

 

He had failed, he hadn’t been able to protect you from Docherty. Your final words played over and over again in his mind.

 

His metal hand clenched and he slammed it into the shower wall, tile cracking under his fist.

 

He remembered to absolute devastation and terror on Starks face when he landed and saw him kneeling on the ground, your locket clutched in his fist.

 

He drew his fist back and slammed it into the wall again.

 

He remembered Sam blinking back tears and storming away.

 

He sunk to his knees as the water beat down on him, cleansing your dirt from his skin. It wasn’t enough to cleanse his sins. He had failed you.

 

**\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -**

 

Tony held your locket in his hand, flipped open to reveal the photo of you, him and Pepper. Your cracked phone lying on the table beside him lit up with Pepper’s photo and when he saw the contact she was listed under his resolve cracked and he screamed.

 

The table crashed against the wall as he flipped it, his tears finally breaking free.

 

He had sworn to protect you and he had failed. Docherty had waltzed right up to you and taken you away.

 

His little girl was in the hands of a monster and he didn’t have the strength to tell Pepper, the woman you had come to love as a mother.

 

**\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -**

 

Steve Rogers with the master of having a plan, or at least pretending that he had one.

 

This was the one time he needed one the most, everyone else was falling apart and so the burden fell on his shoulders. His best friend was utterly destroyed and it had taken all of Steve's strength to convince Bucky to at least go and have a shower.

 

Tony was currently destroying furniture and even if Steve could find the words to stop him he wasn't sure he had the heart.

 

Sam was just destroying a punching bag and asking Friday every ten minutes for an update on whether Natasha had found anything.

 

Steve stocked in the empty corridor and leaned against the wall letting his back slide down it until he was sat on the floor. He needed a minute. Just a minute and then he would go back to being the captain and leading the search for you. But just for a minute he needed to be Steve Rogers, your friend.

 

And as your friend he was scared for you. Scared didn't feel like strong enough word more like terrified. But more than that he was angry. You had been through enough in your life, you didn't deserve this. Bucky had already suffered far more than enough. And at the end of all of your suffering the two of you had found one another only to be ripped apart and it wasn't fair.

 

He didn't need a minute, he didn't deserve a minute, he had to get up and find you now. No matter what it took.

 

You were coming home.

 

**\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -**

 

Natasha knew that Steve was going to try and bear the burden of this, but she would be damned if she would let him bear it alone.

 

Tony was falling apart and she didn't blame him. Barnes was broken and she didn't blame him either. If life hadn't made her so ruthless then she might have been falling apart as well. She wanted too, of course she did. Despite what people thought the black widow did indeed have a heart and it was bigger and fuller than anyone could have guessed. There was a large space in that heart reserved for her Kotoynok.

 

But allowing herself to feel the pain of your loss would not save you. Calling every contact and connection she had, calling in every favour she was owed and offering every favour she could... That might find you.

 

Steve and Bucky joined her and the rest of the team in the room. Only Sam and Tony were missing and they came in shortly after. She watched Steve put on the Captains mask before he addressed her.

 

“Romanov?”

 

“Sorry Cap, I have nothing.” She said and to anyone who didn’t know it her it would have sounded cold and uncaring, bored even. To those who did know her though, it was clear she was frustrated and in pain.

 

Steve sighed in response.

 

“Stark?”

 

“We’ve hacked every satellite. We lost the copter over New York, they probably landed and switched crafts. I don’t know.” Tony sounded drained, there wasn't a hint of snark on his tone and it was almost painful to hear.

 

“Pretty big risk, stopping in New York. Why here?” Natasha mused.

 

“What if it wasn't a risk? What if it was calculated? Think about it, he kills the mother she didn’t know she had in the place where he took hope from her once already. He leaves a book about a monster she can identify with in her home on her birthday.” Sam said, sitting up straight as he worked through the clues.

 

“Wilson’s right. We’re too close to this, all we are seeing how everything he’s doing is affecting her. We aren’t asking what effect he’s aiming for. So what does he want? What’s his goal?”Natasha continued.

 

“The apocalypse.” Steve said.

 

“And if we wanted her to start an apocalypse, how would we do it?” Sam asked them.

 

“We wouldn’t, even if we did we couldn’t. She’s too good a person.” Tony snapped.

 

“No. She isn’t. She’s somebody who chose hope, time and time again and he could never break her of that habit.” Clint pointed out.

 

“Uh guys?” Bruce said.

 

“You want to break somebody’s spirit, take away what they’re fighting for.” Bucky spoke up.

 

“He’s still in New York. He can’t get what he wants from her so long as we are still alive.” Natasha concluded.

 

“Guys!”

 

They all turned and looked round at Bruce, finally seeing what he had been trying to show them.

 

Outside the window, behind Bruce.... Black lightning rising from the ground a few blocks away.

 

**\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -**

 

The phone screen cracked under his grip as he hung up.

 

He had kept you at arms length, telling himself it was for your own good, that you would be happier and safer.

 

What if he had just told you truth? Would you have accepted him? Would he have been able to be a father?

 

Was it too late?

 

He walked into the Professor’s office.

 

“Charles?”

 

“She is a mutant no matter what else she is Logan, Cerebro can find her.”

 

“Do it. Find my daughter.”

 

**\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -**

 

“I can’t get near her. Too many agents between us.” Natasha huffed as she fought her way through a flock of agents.

 

At this point it was impossible to tell who was Project Vernichtung and who was Hydra.

 

“I’m having the same problem.” Steve huffed.

 

“Eyes in the sky?”

 

“Nothing, too much chaos.” Clint informed them.

 

“I can’t get anywhere near her without being ripped apart.” Tony admitted.

 

“I never thought I’d say this but I really wish Deadpool was here.” Steve admitted.

 

“Deadpool is two blocks East, evacuating a pet store.” Sam supplied.

 

It was a familiar scene, the streets of New York turned into a Battleground and more than one avenger on the scene was having trouble with it. Only this time instead of the Chitauri, it was Hydra and project Vernichtung they were battling and instead of Loki being the villain, he was diligently fighting beside them.

 

Chaos reigned everywhere they looked and every time they made any headway with the enemy the screams of the innocent pulled them aside. Dozens upon dozens of scared people were pulled off the streets and directed to safety while enemy agents fell under the might of the two Asgardians, The Captain's shield or the widow's well-aimed bullets.

 

No matter how hard they fought, how many they killed or how many they saved, none of them could get close to the source of the true chaos.

 

The earth beneath their feet was shaking, buildings are starting to crumble and they knew they were running out of time. Still... None of them could bring themselves to ask the important question of how exactly they were going to stop you.

 

"Guys, we have a problem. A really really really big problem." Clint told them over the comms.

 

“Is it bigger than the two evil organisations that have teamed up to kidnap and use one of our own team members against us?" Natasha asked.

 

"It's not her, it's Docherty. Docherty is Vernichtung."

 

"Then where is she? What did he do to her?"Tony asked worriedly.

 

Throughout the fight Bucky had remained silent, slashing stabbing shooting kicking punching tackling his way towards the woman he loved. But it wasn't her at the eye of the storm.

 

He was torn between intense relief that you were not responsible for this and soul crashing terror about where you might actually be. About what your grandfather had done to you if he was the one who now held the power of Vernichtung.

 

It should have been impossible, but it was happening. Docherty had done something and all Bucky cared about was finding out what it was, finding out where you were. Finding you.

 

If you were hurt, if you were... No. No you were ok, you had to be. His last memory of you would not be of failing you. He would find you and together you would all save the city. He was going to rebuild the cabin, wherever you wanted it. He was going to spend the rest of his life making sure that he never failed you again, he was going to spend the rest of his life loving you.

 

"Clint, find me a clear path to him. Loki, create a diversion. Stark, I’ll draw his fire. The second you have a shot you take it. Steve?"

 

"I've got your back. Till the end of the line."Steve said, clasping his shoulder.

 

“Alright Barnes, take point. Let’s get m... _our_ girl.” Tony said.

 

**\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -**

 

“ _Are you really willing to do this?”It sneered._

 

“ _It’s the only way to save the people I love.”_

 

“ _But you will die. This version of you **will** die.”Vernichtung pointed out. _

 

“ _So be it.” You told her._

 

“Come on Princess. Wake up.” Logan’s gruff voice told you as his arms slid under you and raised you from the ground.

 

As he carried you out of the building your wounds sealed closed and he breathed a sigh of relief.

 

You opened your pitch black eyes.

 

**\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -**

 

“Come now Mister Barnes, no need to be so shy.”Docherty called out loudly.

 

Bucky internally swore and stepped out from behind the car as Loki dropped the illusions he was creating.

 

“That’s Sargent Barnes to you Dr Frankenstein.” Tony said, landing next to Bucky on the ground.

 

“What are you doing Stark?” He hissed.

 

“I’m not letting you walk into the lions den alone. When we find my daughter I’m not telling her that her evil grandpa turned you into Soldier Soup.” Tony hissed back.

 

Docherty smirked and lowered his hands, the deathwave receding.

 

“Is it just me or does he not look so healthy?” Clint asked through the comms.

 

Clint was right, Docherty’s skin was almost grey and black goo was dripping from his ears.

 

“I do not think he is strong enough to contain Vernichtungs power.” Loki informed them as he shrewdly gazed at the Doctor.

 

“Very well, Sargent Barnes. What exactly are your intentions with my granddaughter?” Docherty asked.

“That’s between me, her and her family.” Bucky growled.

 

“Speaking of my sweet child, where is she? She missed her curfew.” Tony added.

 

“Come now Mr Stark, you’re a man of science. You must know that if I am here with this power then she is dead.” Docherty mocked.

 

Tony and Bucky stopped walking, twin looks of fear on their faces.

 

“He’s lying! Do not fall for his tricks.” Loki hissed.

 

Tony raised his gauntlet.

 

“I’m going to ask one last time before he does.” Tony said, motioning to Bucky.

 

“Where is my daughter?”

 

“If you want to see her again, then stand down. All of you.” Docherty bartered.

 

“Stark, if he can’t contain the power it’s probably killing him. I doubt he has much fight left in him.” Steve said.

 

“He can’t take us all out seperatley.” Natasha deduced.

 

“Stark, Bucky, split up!” Steve yelled.

 

Tony and Bucky looked at one another for a split second before they did what The Captain suggested.

 

Bucky threw himself to the left and Tony shot skyward. Docherty screamed in frustration and raised his hands. He made a split second decision to blast the deathwave at Tony.

 

“NO!” Bucky roared, watching helplessly as the black lightning shot towards Iron Man.

 

Seconds before it hit it was pushed back by a red mist and Wanda stepped into view, an intense look of concentration on her face.

 

“I can’t hold it for long. But I can hold it for longer than he can.” She declared.

 

“You can not contain Death, witch!” Docherty yelled.

 

It was an intense battle of wills, so much resting on the outcome. Sweat beaded along Wanda’s brow as she strained against Docherty.

 

“Everybody fall back. We’ll hit him from further back, expend his energy.” Steve commanded.

 

“Incoming.” Was all the warning they had from Clint.

 

Bucky looked up and his heart seized in his chest. It was you. Or was Vernichtung, in the end it didn't matter to him. It was you. Good or bad, clear-eyed or black-eyed it was you.

 

“You have something that belongs to me” You snarled at Docherty.

 

“And you can have it back when they are dead.” He gasped.

 

“Give it to me!”You screamed.

 

You stepped across the ground towards him, a power and confidence bursting from within you, your shoulders thrown back and your head held high.

 

“Their deaths are your Legacy, my gift to you!” Docherty yelled, pushing back against Wanda’s power.

 

An inhuman scream of rage erupted from your throat and it made the hairs on Bucky's arm stand up. There was no humanity in that sound.

 

“I'm starting to worry she might not actually be on our side.” Clint said.

 

“Loki the lie detector, any input?” Tony asked desperately, his eyes glued to you.

 

Loki was deep in concentration as he gazed at you

 

“Whatever that is it is not mortal.” He concluded.

 

“Sam no! Fall back!” Steve shouted through the comms but it was too late.

 

Sam landed on the ground in front of you, his hands held out placatingly.

 

“Baby girl, it’s me. He’s dying, let him die.” Sam implored you.

 

You looked straight through him.

 

“Give me my power.” You snarled again.

 

“If you want it, Kill him.” Docherty demanded.

 

You didn't hesitate, you didn't think about it at all. Your hand shot out and closed around Sam’s neck and twisted.

 

He dropped to the ground, unimportant to you as you continued walking forwards like you hadn’t just killed your best friend.

 

The Avengers were frozen in shock. Their minds couldn’t catch up to what happened as you stalked towards Docherty, growling.

 

The Doctor looked up at you reverently and sunk to his knees.

 

“Take it. Take it and cleanse the world, finally.” He gasped out emotionally, holding his hands out to you.

 

You grabbed his hands and threw your head back as the black poison moved from his veins to yours, rippling across your flesh.

 

“At last.” You hissed.

“You are free Vernichtung, free to be what you were born to be.” Docherty said.

 

Sam stood up behind you and cricked his neck before nodding at Loki. The illusion rippled and Logan came to stand behind you.

 

“No.” Docherty whispered.

 

“You made me what I am. Allow me to return the favour. Allow me to make you into what you truly are.” You snarled viciously.

 

“Heartless.”

 

You plunged your hand into the doctors chest, ripping his heart out and crushing it in your grasp.

 

“When you see the devil, ask him ask him why you would do this to me and not expect my revenge.” You whispered as his body crumpled to the ground.

 

You dropped his heart onto the ground at your feet and turned your back on the corpse.

 

“What the hell just happened?” Clint wondered out loud.

 

“Kit Kat?” Tony whispered, landing in front of you.

 

You looked like you, the black veins receding. But your eyes, they were dark. Not fully black but dark.

 

“Is it you or is it Vernichtung?” Tony asked.

 

“Well we aren’t dead and Docherty is, does it matter?” Logan growled.

 

“I wasn’t asking you.” Tony snapped.

 

You ignored them both, walking away from the argument.

 

“Hey, hey where are you going?” Tony snapped, running after you but Logan grabbed him.

 

“Let her go.”

 

“Like hell I’m going to let her go, get off me.”

 

Bucky met you in the middle of the road.

 

“Doll...” He whispered.

 

You cocked your head but didn't answer him.

 

“I love you. Whatever version of you this is, how ever many there are. I love you.” He told you.

 

“ _Are you really willing to do this?”It sneered._

 

“ _It’s the only way to save the people I love.”_

 

“ _But you will die. This version of you **will** die.”Vernichtung pointed out. _

 

“ _So be it.” You told her._

 

“ _You cut me off, now you want me back?”_

 

“ _It’s the only way. There will be no more me, no more you. Just us, as one. Something new.”_

 

You were something else. Bucky had seen it in your eyes, what Tony hadn’t, what Logan had struggled to grasp when you explained.

 

Bucky saw it and he didn't care.

 

“James... I don’t know what, who I am.” You whispered.

 

“You’re you.” he said as if it was the simplest thing in the world. And to him, it was.

 

“Whoever that is, whoever I am... I love you.” You told him earnestly.

 

He pulled you into his arms and kissed you.

 

James Buchanan Barnes, Sargent Barnes, The Winter Soldier, Bucky… Whatever name he was going by didn’t matter, he was the love of your life. You absolutely adored him. It wasn’t a fleeting sort of love, it was more than a mere crush. It was pure, searing, unadulterated, irrevocable love. He brought out the absolute best in you, if you ever became a hero again then he would be your redemption arc.

 

“Doll? Marry me.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
> 
> There will be a short epilogue where I will gush in the author's notes about how much I love you all and everything in this chapter that you might have questions about will be explained. 
> 
> But
> 
> Thoughts????


	49. Epilogue

“I'm Christine Everhart and I'm standing outside the UN where today Colonel James Rhodes has been appointed head of the UN committee overseeing the Sokovia Accords.”

 

“Why are we watching this again?” Tony asked.

 

“Because we weren’t invited and we want to see Rhodey and our girl doing well.” Pepper reprimanded.

 

“There was some controversy around secretary Ross stepping down but all secretary Ross had to say on the matter was that he believed Colonel Rhode's was for the best choice to succeed him.” Everhart said on the screen.

 

“I’m sure Natasha had nothing to do with it.” Tony snorted.

 

“There is speculation that Senator Stern was asked to step down after the recent events In New York that left 62 people dead and hundreds injured. Initially believed to be the work of deathwave, footage emerged showing that the young heroine was not in fact responsible for the death and destruction. It was the handiwork of Dr Jack Docherty.”

 

Tony ground his teeth. It had been two months since that day and the dust still hadn’t settled, physically or metaphorically.

 

“In fact one of the deciding factors of Colonel Rhodes taking over the Accords is the fact that he convinced Miss Stark to sign them. Earlier today during the announcement that Rhodes would be taking over it was also announced that there would be drastic changes to the Accords themselves.” Everhart continued.

 

Steve, Rhodey and himself had sat down for days to negotiate the new terms and Tony had to admit... They were awful until they all called Pepper in to help.

 

Rhodey came on the screen as the news replayed his interview from that morning.

 

"When your home is being broken into and you call 999, you don't want to have to wait for the police to get permission to come to your house and stop burglary. That's not how the Accords should work either. The men and women that signed this contract should be held accountable for their actions, nobody is saying that they shouldn't. What we are saying is that when the world needs help, the world shouldn't have to sit back and wait for the UN to get together and discuss it. If you're in need of a hero then I know a whole bunch who will be happy to help you out, they just have a little more paperwork to do afterwards."

 

“Or they make their daughter do the paperwork because this is all her fault.” Tony pointed out.

 

“Tony!” Pepper reprimanded.

 

“What? You know she makes Peter do hers right? She even convinced him it was her doing him a favor.” Tony grumbled.

 

"It was a momentous occasion today when Miss Stark entered the UN building and signed The Accords, apparently without incident."

 

Tony and Pepper breathed a sigh of relief. There was a commotion on screen as you stepped out of the UN building and the reporters flocked towards you, shouting questions. You slipped on a pair of sunglasses and breezed through them, paying them no attention.

 

“Miss Stark? Miss Stark is it true you are engaged to Sergeant James Barnes?”Everhart shouted at you.

 

Pepper patted Tony’s hand comfortingly. He sighed heavily at the reminder.

 

You glanced over at Christine Everhart and did an over the top double take.

 

“Hey aren’t you that reporter that slept with my father a few years ago?” You asked her with a smirk.

 

“Did you tell her to say that?”Pepper glared at Tony.

 

“No, I’m not that stupid.” He grumbled as Everhart turned crimson.

 

“Miss Stark, do you have anything you would like to say to the public?” Everhart pushed.

 

“Nope.” You responded.

 

“A Stark with nothing to say, that’s news in itself.” She said into the camera.

 

“Are you trying to say Starks like to make a lot of noise?” You asked her.

 

“Oh no.” Tony groaned.

 

“Oh no.” Pepper agreed.

 

“Well Starks aren’t usually known for being quiet.”Everhart responded.

 

“Well sweetheart, I guess you would know.” You said with a smirk, pulling down your sunglasses to wink at her.

 

“What’s wrong with your eyes?” She gasped.

 

“Well that’s just rude!” Pepper admonished, offended on your behalf.

 

You stared down the camera lens, letting your dark eyes with the little black veins in them be seen worldwide.

 

“What’s wrong with a little darkness? It makes everything more fun.” You said and grinned ferociously.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is it :( It's over! It took 5 weeks to write and I loved every single second. I'm kind of heartbroken that this fic is over now, it was my firstborn, my baby. 
> 
> What made it such a good experience was all of you. I loved every comment you left, and every private message meant so so much to me. 
> 
> I made some really good friends (looking at you Beans)who I hope will be in my life for a long time to come. 
> 
> The Vernichtung Files will continue, as you might have already known haha. The second story is coming, first though I'm working on something else for a bit. It's another Bucky x Reader fic called 'Frozen Heart'. 
> 
> I hope I will see/speak to you all again soon!! For now though Bucky and Baby Stark need a break, after all... They have a wedding to plan!!


	50. Name Changing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Preview of the Next installment in the series!

You took a deep breath and centred yourself the way Logan had taught you (you would literally die before admitting his tutoring was helpful) before you walked into the Wedding planning meeting with a false smile.

 

“Miss Stark, so glad you made it. I was starting to think you weren’t coming, which would have been a shame because I brought some lovely fabric samples for the bridesmaid dresses!”The shrill woman you despised told you as soon as you walked in.

 

Bucky and Tony were sat at the desk, Tony looked like he was considering killing himself and Bucky looked like he was considering killing everyone.

Pepper and Darcy were looking at you pleadingly as a thick folder was shoved into your hands.

 

“These are all teal.” You grumbled.

 

“No silly, they’re ceruleans and sea foams. You said no teal.” She admonished.

 

“We’re going with red for the bridesmaids.” Bucky snapped.

 

You were mildly impressed he’d remembered what you’d said at breakfast.

 

“Red? Hmm, no I think a nice blueish green colour would suit the women better.” The awful woman tittered.

 

“Red. It suits them all and we like red.” You stated, shoving the book back at her.

 

“Well this is my job, trust me. You don’t want red.” She rebutted, trying to pass the book back to you.

 

“ _I don’t trust you at all, you’re a terrible listener, you’re pushy, you’re irritating, you have no taste, your voice is shrill, your fake life makes me want to rip your head off your shoulders and kick out of the window and you’re fired.” Is what you wanted to say._

 

“Could we see some red samples anyway? Please?” You asked sweetly.

 

“Hmm, well I’ll see what I have.” You said placatingly.

 

You rolled your eyes and threw yourself onto a chair between your father and your fiancée.

 

They leaned in at the same time and whispered to you.

 

“I’ve changed my mind, you can elope.” Tony said.

 

“Can we get Friday to fake an emergency?”Bucky asked.

 

“Now I only have a few red samples but I think it’s enough for you to see that I’m right.” She said, passing you a few scraps.

 

“I’m a Stark. Red is our colour. The grooms-men are wearing blue.” You told her.

 

“We are?” Bucky asked while Tony practically vibrated out of his chair with pride.

 

“You always wear blue and or black.” You told him with a shrug.

 

“Yes but..” The woman began.

 

“She said red, you heard her. Stark red. It’s an actual colour on the spectrum now. For the amount we’re paying you, you should be able to find it.” Tony interrupted her.

 

“Of course Mr Stark.” She said with a polite smile, turning to make a note on her tablet.

 

“Why does she listen to you and not me?” You whined.

 

“I exude authority.” He said.

 

Your phone vibrated in your pocket and you pulled it out, frowning at the number.

 

“Oh damn, it’s Avengers business!” You said loudly.

 

Darcy and Pepper looked up from the samples and narrowed their eyes at you.

 

“I’ve got to take this.” You said apologetically.

 

“We all do!” Bucky said, shooting out of his seat.

 

You he and Tony ran out of the room before anyone could stop you.

 

“Who is it?” Tony asked.

 

“No idea.” You said as you answered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's part 2 of The Vernichtung Files, this was a sneak peek of Name Changing which has already begun! 
> 
>  
> 
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/18382679/chapters/43531175
> 
> P.S Jess, this is why it ended on 49 haha


End file.
